Category Archives: THOUGHTS
Allusion illusion
Today I will make magic 🎩 become my present 🎁 presence;
Under the the pretext it’s an illusion
Character & mortality
Fear not to expose your vulnerabilities,
For those you seek to exploit know not
of your strengths
All are remarkable traits of your
personality.
Your mark on life
Your history
Most of all your strength of character
in your times played out in mortality.
Life Dash
Our life is entirely summarised by a dash.
Wtf?
It’s obvious..
1981- insert date of death.
Everything that we do within those dates define what we accomplish and who we become or don’t.
One small dash.
two dates
Engraved on our tombstone is what makes our life signicant in this life to others…
That dash between the years is what we did or didn’t get to do with our life.
Or maybe I’m talking crap…..
Probably the latter ..
Sincerly ,
Daisy
Wanna know about life?
Honesty and upfront are my greatest assets & flaws. I’ve avoided blogging too much or connecting over the last few months because I’ve been hiding a lot of guilt and shame –
so I’ve been doing some thinking.
No stream of consciousness or poetry in this post…
Are you still with me? haha
I write for myself first and I always will. When I write for an audience I lose my way easily.
Apologies if this is old news to the more evolved spirits reading this. 😁
Daisy has an epiphany.
I’ve been contemplating on the saying ‘dig deep’
if you decide to use this quote to get you through an experience
Do you know why you need to dig deep?
My thoughts:
from our conception & birth into this life
From our first breath – we have started to dig our own grave.
We begin to design the layout of where our final resting place or end will be.
It would be epic and less stressful if from the moment we are born we knew what we are meant to be doing.
Many people never figure it out or, if they do, it’s too late to ask them if they have it for obvious reasons. 😞
Many people decide to choose a saviour either in the form of an icon – a god, a person, goals – money, love, careers, addictions, etc…
We strive to find something to focus all of our seconds, minutes, hours and years blatantly meandering about on this planet.
Be careful who you allow to support you – some people are so busy trying to save everyone else, ( we all do it at some point); we forget our first honour and duty is to save ourselves and know our own purpose.
It’s known in psychobabble terms as the drama triangle.
Most of use tend to flit between three roles -Victim, the dominating in yer face/demanding person or the carer role depending on the situation we are in, people we are around etc.
To digress,
Many of us go on to have children who rely on us – depend on us to teach them how to navigate their own path – how to create their own resting place – and to be conscious that each action, each decision they make has a hand in determining how they will die.
Teaching others to rely on themselves is a blessing, not a curse.
It is when we are faced with our own reflection, with no other help but to rely on our own resources /skills we collect along our journey in life.
Will we know how we will get to the other side or to our end in this human form.
Some of us end up addicted or come to our end at the hands of illnesses like cancer or dementia, car accidents etc.
Some of us can go out and have a heart attack while having an orgasm. It’s possible
Maybe some of us are unaware that from the moment we are given independent life we are consistently (for better or worse) building our own coffins.
Is it fair that we are not told this from our first breath?
I didn’t make up the rules in life or society.
We -or rather I – can only govern myself and my actions
Choose carefully who you try to help or who you accept help from.
Don’t get mad when people let you down
They are doing what they need to do – following their own purpose.
Some people never find out what their purpose is.
Dig deep.
How comfortable and aware of your surrounding do you want to be when you take your last breath in this life.
We create our own Elysium or heaven or utopia even –
sometimes it’s not what we want or expect-
The truth is we won’t know until we are swimming against the tide or even hanging ten and riding the wave.
I do know that I want to be as conscious and aware of my choices, limits when the waves crash.
My personal chosen Gods have always been tangible- in the form of fully crystallised human beings -flawed just like me.
I think I chose human “idols” to put all my faith because I can have a go at someone when “they” 😉 let me down. I want to face my own success and disappointments A-sap .
Patience /Sabili is not a strength of mine.
I need to look at a reflection of myself to determine I exist.
it’s not easy to figure out life- there is probably more evidence for the saying that instead of philosophising about how to find our purpose i. life- it needs to be lived – consciously and with purpose.
We can live with a purpose not knowing if that purpose is “right “and we can live consciously and not know what our purpose is.
Our Past experiences can help us figure out what tools or resources we need to use if/when we consciously realise
Perhaps I’ve hit the bottom of my pit
How do I bypass this mythical minotaur I’ve read about?
We wonder how we can or even if we can
find strength & savviness to crawl up & out of it to a stable Terre ferme place.
We may wonder if we have the endurance, courage and motivation to get out of coal mine
Whether it’s worth finding a running brook of water to wash the soot from the inside out.
The alternative option is that our final resting place will be exactly where we decide to rest – in this case, the bottom of a pit. State the obvious 😂
It’s our personal responsibility to find (in our finite existence)a place where we feel we have done everything in our power tosit amongst the angels or the gods of Olympus or whatever it is we believe in that will take us through from the beginning to the end. where we can feel at peace with ourselves.
Some of us – most of us never get to that point. Sucks to be us.
I don’t fully believe reincarnation but I am aware that it makes sense our essence/ energy will go someplace else.
Society tells us it’s a selfish idea
‘ look after yourself’.
Human beings are wired to reach out but how we do that and to know our boundaries and the boundaries of others is tricky to balance
boundaries are constantly changing with where we are in our lives, emotionally, physically & mentally.
It’s scary to know we are ultimately alone – only we can change ourselves – our emotions – our ideas – our path.
It’s hard not to resent others or life for making us so capable and resilient.
Damn you life! How dare you 😂
It can be easier to choose to not see the bigger plan – this idea that, yes we govern ourselves and we must govern ourselves and own our actions and our lives.
We must practice being aware that every action /choice/thought we make – has that butterfly effect –
we cause the ripples of life. We are made up of molecules & atoms. Ie energy
Science has come up with terminology -that can help us understand our position in this world, we make up , what and how much we are capable
How much responsibility we all have.
We are tiny specks in the universe however just one body made up of molecules has a direct consequence on those around us, our environment – one choice word or action could help balance our life conversely it can cause it to topple over.
We have nature to compare ourselves to – A crystallised example of what happens when we fuck up different ecosystems – when we put element somewhere and take out element B from somewhere else.
It’s trial and error.
We repeat – the cycle continues.
I think that the fear of being alone is a lot scarier than actually being alone
When I am alone by choice or because People forget me. I decide
I choose to swim and come up for air.
I realised that I have walked the earth with legs , I’ve flown and seen the world from a bird’s eye perspective.
I’ve also stayed a rather unglamourous mammalian unable to grow wings or a tail to adapt to my surroundings.
I choose to live another day. I don’t know if my choices are right or wrong .
Time is what it is.
People in my life , of my life
I love you but I don’t want to need anyone. My desire is I want people because of the love & joy they bring to my life.
That’s it.
Do I decide to fight the battle every day or fall back into a walking state of slumber?
Making sense of English
Beautiful & befuzzling- Especially for foreigners.
My answers are long because the list of pre fixes – to shit – are long …
Horse manure! 🐎 – any tory response especially during ascot season ( the gentrification version ?
Please see pic below

✋️… I’ll try out my wit again..
This looks vaguely like a timeline of the gentrification of the word / class system: * shit*
Have you seen the price of rentals these days ? !
Batshit !
. EPIC FAIL – again.
I’m just not funny 😐 😒.
Waving the red flag..
Gone gorillas in the mist with the word rambunctious ( Stop. Is Google time .)
Am I F***! Waving the red flag !
It’s a doggy 🐕 dog world if you don’t live in China..
Dare I say how it goes if you do live in China 🇨🇳- oops is that a red herring.
( that’s me all over – a false leader )
Shiiiiit.
I’ll stick with my morbid side
Fact : Paris has the highest percentage of irresponsible dog shit picker uppers..
Must be on uppers if they haven’t got the time to pick up dog shit from their little beathoven mutt.
so, basically Paris has the largest amount of doggy doo in the major cities of the world 🌎 to step in.
Lucky ?
Unlucky ?
Merde alors
Oh, I forgot ( I wanted to see if I could try and define rambunctious before I cooled it).
Ha ha!
A bit over the top, firstly, too much , horny even ?
And proper definition 👌
Mmh …
Over boisterous.
Mmh that’s what they say in most
Rape depositions/ statements .
I don’t think rape is something to be laughed at .
Trust me I’ve been there .
Unless they have a small willy.
I can’t use hashtag metoo in this case.
Truth is I don’t have a willy.
Not Bullshit . Potentially batshit
I poured a rather long gin.
Snoop dog influenced me .
#laidback ####’d the crack out of that ..
. Well , on a final note atleast the English language has moved on from human excrement although excrement feels more like an achievement 👏 or an accomplishment than a shit.
I’M MAD SHIZZLE CRAZY .
Lynx Fur coat
My French Grandmother, who (at the time) had the last stages of vascular Dementia lived in a different time to me.
Before my existence , a couple of generations before mine, my Grandpa, bought a gift for my Grandma. I was told she had the coat made for her in Vienna.
I have a confession to make , I am so (so) ashamed.
It’s no ordinary coat,it has her initials engraved on the inside (lynx fur.I’ve seen Kate Moss wear something similar).
For my 27th Birthday my Grandma gave me her coat. It didn’t fit her any more (& she loved me –of course).
I ignored my guilt,played the ignorant person when I wore it ( in hypothermic temperatures in the U.K.) with hesitant pride. It kept out the cold off my bones,it was soft and beautiful.
I own a lynx fur coat. (cue: Gasp, shock & horror).
Now before you all judge me with sentiments such as:
“Burn it ,Daisy , burn it. Sell it or whatever.. Just get rid, girlfriend cos if you don’t,see this? You and me? We are done. And I mean done .”
Try to understand that this is something sentimental (an heirloom) that my grandma gave me before she got ill and passed away from Vascular Dementia & Alzeihemers.
I live with this secret. Erm, not any longer….
I don’t wear it these days.
It makes me feel like a hypocrite.
My Mom has kept it.
She didn’t want me to get rid of it while my grandma was still alive.
So, this is my shameful secret.
Last time I looked at it, I put it on, and I felt like Hannibal.
Images of torture came to the forefront of my mind of what happened to this animal.
How to end this post?
It’s not easy (or even affordable) to just switch over your whole lifestyle /ethics/family traditions etc.. to not eating or wearing anything that hasn’t had an animal involved in the process in some way.
The truth is
I frittered my wedding money away (a couple of years ago) working for a non animal tested and environmental friendly business that sold products from A-Z
I ended up buying most of the products (and it led to nada profit for me)
It was expensive.It cost me an income. It alleviated my consciousness.
I stopped eating sweets (Haribos)because I knew that they had gelatin in them, and that derives from animal fat.
Who needs motivation for going on a diet?
(You now have one )
We can’t get it right all the time. .
We can become more aware about where our consumables come from, who suffers & power ourselves up with knowledge (as shocking and awful as it is).
I’m not saying be ‘overzealous ‘, however,the first step to fighting this massive topic of animal abuse in all its forms -is to become conscious & then to act.
Being conscious leads to decision making and any action you do that comes from a good place in your heart or mind is a good start.
One final thought before I wrap this up.
I recall a time I woke up to the salacious smell of grilling bacon – thanks husband for the temptation.
I nearly threw up. The smell was rank. He thought I was going all ‘Johnny Drama’ (Entourage) on him but, honestly it made me feel sick to the point I ran out of that kitchen.
I DON’T WANT TO EAT SOMETHING OR SOMEBODY JUST LIKE ME.
SHAON THGHILP
Is mortal love the true sin of the man opposed to the laudable man blinded by a paradise of perfection?
With blood on our hands
With bare footed callousness
We walk over the corpses of our ancestors.
The biblical story of Noah is the parable of the modern day humanitarian plight.
We will return to the second day of creation fighting with sticks and stones
As prophesied by another mere mortal
As prophesied by another mere mortal sapian in well versed archaic rhetoric…
Musings of today
Hey,Nina
“The worst thing about that kind of prejudice… is that while you feel hurt and angry and all the rest of it, it feeds you self-doubt. You start thinking, perhaps I am not good enough” -NINA SIMONE –
I never knew why I connected so much with this woman’s voice and songs so much, until now.
We seemingly have nothing in common- she was a trained classical pianist, jazz and soul singer, and a proud African American lady, actively a part of the American civil rights movement.
She hung out with Martin Luther King! She was born in the 1930’s.
I , on the other hand, was born and grew up in South Africa. I am white. I was born in the early 1980s when the apartheid regime was crumbling.
Recently, I watched a documentary about her life on Netflix and I identified with this wild spirit within her. A spirit demanding justice. She was a person who had a name but couldn’t truly own it.
There is a song she sings – AINT GOT NO -I GOT LIFE (she is simply mesmerising to watch)
The song ends with her singing
“I am my freedom. I got my freedom.”
That is my connection to her. For a long time I wasn’t accepted,I may well have been another skin colour.
In fact- in post-apartheid. -early 90’s -I spent most of my teens taking drugs with the colored or black and Indian community ( they identify themselves with these terms in South Africa btw ) and spending less time with white people.
At various points in Nina’s life she felt like she had lost her mind.
I nearly became mad.
In fact I am sure I did.
Many times.
I nearly died -countless times too.
I was forced out of South Africa because my mother couldn’t stand by and watch me die.
It took 17 years to get to the person I am today.
I should be dead. I guess life has bigger plans for me. It is not for lack of me trying every possible way to kill myself by my hand or another’s..
I have always wanted my freedom to be me in my body and mind and be comfortable in it.
In my search for Freedom I even became like some feral creature to get it. I could say I only imitated what I saw other people do.
It’s strange how other people are quick to judge. They don’t seem to see that they do the same things to cope.
Oh,how they just took .
Boys
Girls
Men
Women
People just took from me what was useful to them and discarded me like a used condom. Making sure there was no evidence to be found that linked them with the theft of my own creativity and soul.
People took a lot from Nina – she left the U.S.A. for many years to find her mind and peace.
One of my favourite sayings I always tend to tell people is
“I’m a person with good intentions”
“My actions and heart come from a good place .”
I think I must have picked it up from the lyrics in the song ‘DON’T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD
“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good – Oh lord please don’t let me be misunderstood”
I’ve often felt misunderstood.
I have made one hell of a journey.
So these days if someone misunderstands what I say, I have to pretty much cut them off and be direct and tell them that they have misunderstood or not heard or misinterpreted what I am saying .
To have a soul, you have to be free.
Completely free of your mind and body -you mustn’t covert away any part of you , you must reveal your soul to the entire world.
People will either get you or they won’t but that becomes their problem not mine or yours.
There must be no shame in revealing your soul to the world.
Your story.
Your journey.
Nina was diagnosed with Bipolar in the 80’s and I guess she felt displaced.
Bipolar,huh ?
Displaced ?
Now I know that world well.
I felt displaced in so many situations in my life. I did actually do something Nina did (at a point in her life)-
I turned inwards on myself.
I couldn’t win the political game of “normal” social life. I never fit in one social group or culture.
I stood out for all to see.
I didn’t fit. Yet, I felt comfortable in more than one place or with one type of people simultaneously.
I didn’t want to have to choose just one set of people to be around. I tried to conform but my soul rebelled
I struggled when I was growing up.
Not being able to fit into one box came with high levels of recklessness on my part. I was probably the first person in my social group who displayed crazy- off her head signs.
It was awful because I was only 13-17 years old.
You could be a certain type of crazy but not my kind of crazy.
People backed up the fuck away…
Never mind that later many of my peers would have had more life experience and with that , they had gained a few extra pounds of experiencing the not so great hand life deals us at times.
There would come a time when many I knew would have to deal with whatever it decides to throw at you. Whenever it chooses to do so.
Maybe a few of them went
“Oh,now I get it.”
I took on adult responsibilities from a young age.
I didn’t fucking want them.
So it then became a political inquest into my soul…
My soul fled from me – leaped out of my heart, got lost in my head , ran- in search of the nearest exit.
It found that exit in a secret tunnel at the furthest part of my unconscious. It did a backflip out and over the balcony of my mind, landed on its feet and made for the ocean.
It went into hiding , to the deepest part of the ocean. A place it knew it could surrender to without protest. It could go with the current and not be examined for doing something as natural as just being its nature and of nature.
I searched to reclaim mine back for years.
Soul can’t be questioned, it must be felt.
Nina felt stigma,
I felt stigma,
Many feel stigma.
She connected to so many because she wasn’t afraid to share her humanness and be her and speak up for ‘her kind’.
She inspires me to carry on speaking out for people who still suffer inequality with their mental health issues. I will never stop using my voice and writing to break down stigma and prejudice and ignorance.
There are four songs I want to share that she sang.
The only way she knew how to help change and shape the world she lived in -was to get political with her music. It killed her singing career and nearly killed her.
I can’t help but see Nina as such a positive role model for all genders, race, sexuality, age and faiths.
Mr Willows takes over the willows
with my husband’s permission. I will let his words dominate this post. Not easy being Mr. Willows – just kidding. Slightly…..
No one said that life is easy, no one said that marriage or relationships are easy or perfect.
It’s been hard for me to write about my feelings on my blog lately,because of all the shenanigans going on in my life. It never stops, does it?
There is a lot I want to say before I pass over my blog to my other half. I talk and type way too much for my liking.
We are all struggling and we are all working on our dreams. It’s easy to give up and I don’t know many people
-anyone -who has ever done this to show how much he respects and wants to know me and understand me .
I’m waffling.
I will not hide that we have problems and we both fuck up. I’m not proud of some of my actions or my behaviour.
I do know that the man who is so different from me brings out the best in me and the worst. Mostly their best.
Usually, the men I’ve chosen have brought out the worst in me. ( they have issues just like me.)
For the first time I can say I chose a good man and some guys have been proper knobheads to me.
I’m not making excuses for those men.
“You are wankers, no more making excuses for you. I hope you get what you deserve. I don’t know what you deserve. Karma is not something I have power over, or even wish to have. ” Daisy aka Natasha Bodley
I have a man who has shown me what it feels like to be loved,respected, cherished and who wants our happiness.
Here is a man, who I get to call my husband.
I’m uber emotional.
I didn’t know he was doing this. Our marriage has been crumbling from the start tbh… (laughing, nervous laughter)
I’m at a loss for words.
So this Mr Willows
Introduction
This is a rather difficult situation to talk about; my wife and I are at odds with each other, she suffers from a horrible illness called Anorexia, it is a controlling and manipulative entity. Anorexia has taken a lot from my wife and maybe even our marriage. Through researching this illness I have realised I will never know truly what my wife has to go through on a daily even hourly basis, So to truly understand what she suffers through I have decided to walk a mile in her shoes. I know that Anorexia is more than just restricting foods and liquids, but I aim to try to discover more. The last time I had anything to eat was two days ago (12th May 2017) and I will try to document both my physical and mental states through this journey of discovery. This may not be enough to save my marriage, but at least I will have a greater understanding.
15th May 2017
Weight: 89.7KG
10:15: It has been a struggle this morning. It is very hard not to eat when things are very automatic, the struggle with suppressing hunger takes a lot of energy and mental fortitude. My physical state is that my hands are shaking, and I used caffeine as an appetite suppressant. This is my second day doing this and will try and document often when things change.
10:30: I have been aware that this illness is also about body fixation, I have been aware for some months that my inner legs chafe when I am warm; I am going to use this as a point of fixation because it genuinely makes me unhappy and uncomfortable.
11:00: Housework is both a blessing and a curse. The blessings are it takes up time so you get to switch off the brain for a while and you are doing something so it takes up part of your day. On the flip side I know it is taking up valuable energy and that is going to leave me very weak in the days to come. I know it is going to be hard to hide my non eating but Anorexia is a selfish and manipulative illness. The coffee I had over an hour ago has hit me like a truck, I feel jittery and my heart is racing. I will be doing a small shop for some bits, this is going to be very different because I am no longer free to just pick up an impulse buy, I feel a little anxious about going to be far but I feel I can handle it.
20:07: The household shopping was hard when it came to doing the food part, my stomach aches so bad. I managed to force myself through it. I guess this is something my wife has to often, it takes so much energy to get through all you want to do is hide away and sleep off the hunger. It fails in comparison to having to cook for my daughter, it was hard not to pick at the food or fall in to what I have always done (cook a little extra for myself. I just want to see this through because I need to understand what my wife goes through on a daily basis. The fuzziness in my head feels very strange; I will stop if I see it going too far.
22:28: I understand why she chooses to binge on bread and cheese, right now, it is looking very tempting just to grab some bread and cheese and just go mad. I hope that I get a better night’s sleep tonight
16th May
11:34: I feel very shaky today, almost hyperactive. Finding it very difficult to focus on one task when you have so much running through your head. I can see why this feeling is attractive because you get a big buzz when you complete a task, even if it is something you do regularly. I can see in my face that bags have started to form under my eyes and have a yellow tinge. I look a bit more washed out and drawn. I dare not weigh myself because of both fear of seeing the numbers change. I can’t believe how hard it is to battle with something so simple as standing on something, what I can understand even more now than ever what those numbers represent. I promise myself that this cant continue for too long.
17th May
9:30: Yesterday afternoon I had a large hyperactive spurt, I was walking round the house very giddy and wanting to spin people around, this lasted for about a half hour, during this I was running up lists of all the things I can do with the business, being a success at finding work, been a good partner and farther.
So to conclude what I have discovered doing this is this, Anorexia has a lot to do with control and hating parts of yourself both physically and mentally. It takes a lot of energy to get through the day and do simple things. Managing moods has been very difficult, riding high can be very addictive and the slumps take so much away from you. The stress on the body is frightening and I have led a very active life. Sleeping is valuable if your body and mind can rest, this is because I have found when you are asleep you are not thinking, it breaks up the day and it conserves energy, plus I suspect that when someone is in full anorexic mode they don’t have to worry about eating. To think about food is a pain, caffeine helps suppress appetite, gives your mind and body something to do and the caffeine and sugar gives you something to get through the day. Being around food can kick off a lot of anxiety because all you want to do is eat, and you feel disgusted and ashamed of these feelings. It feels like you are in a constant battle with parts of mind and body. I am unhappy with the way my legs chafe when I get warm, when you become uncomfortable with how you feel, you become very fixated on that area, you notice every time you move, get dressed and when you look at yourself. Weight gain and weight loss play a key feature because upon weighing myself for the last time I had lost 0.02kgs, with how much effort it has taken, I can see this been very devastating to sufferers because the results do not match the effort that is put in, this will lead to a big drop in confidence and mood. In a final note, I have a newfound respect for people who suffer from this illness because it is a minute by minute, second by second battle with what can only be described as fighting an intruder in your own mind. I know I will never know the true extent of the illness but I have a better understanding of how I can better support, listen and what actions I can take.
MASSIVE RESPECT FOR YOU, WE DO HAVE A STRONG CONNECTION ,AND SOMETIMES WE NEED TO REMIND EACH OTHER.
okay……..
I’m off.
Dealing with life 😀
33 responses to “Mr Willows takes over the willows”
That was a loving thing to do, Mr. Willows. All the love from someone who also lives and works to recover from an eating disorder. It was also dangerous. Be careful.
I love the conclusions you came to, and I love that they’ll help you get closer to Daisy.
You’re right about food taking over much of your thought processes. You’re right about desperately seeking the oblivioun of sleep, though that ability leaves you as the ED persists.
You’re right about feeling bad about the numbers on the scale not moving as they should, but I bet you underestimate how horrible that inside voice can be.
It’s that voice, the voice that is only and always trying to kill you that Daisy hears when she writes poetry/tells you she’s not worthy of you/tries to hurt you/tries to push you away/sabotages the good things.
That’s why we need to think about food. The eating disorder starts as the cure., and attempt to silence the ugly inside voice.
All the apologies in the world for such a long response.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Daisy! It’s been a while since our paths have crossed. I saw your comment on a fellow blogger’s post and decided to stop by and say hi. After reading this, I just want to give you the biggest hug! We all have our struggles and it’s so courageous of you to share yours like this. I’m sorry for the current state of affairs. May you find what you need to support you on your journey. It’s amazing the lengths your husband is going through to understand. No relationship is perfect because none of us are perfect. That being said, I do hope that you are both able to find the support and tools you need to move forward. There’s so much I’m leaving unsaid but if you want to continue this conversation, please feel free to email me (niki@nikimeadows.com). Sending you lots of love ❤ ❤ ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Niki! It has been a long time. Thank you so much for supportive words. I hope all is well with you ? Indeed we all do. I’m glad you picked up on that. It was my reason for publishing it. I want people to realise there is no perfect relationship and we do what works for us. I’m actually doing loads better. Put on weight and I have less stress so it’s a good thing. My focus in for the next couple of months is getting out and about, sunshine; road trips, music, family, good company and great experiences. Thank you so much for your email address. You are an absolute treasure. Biiig loves back xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better! Good for you! It sounds like you have a very healthy attitude and action plan going forward. The sunshine and company sound like wonderful ways to support you! Wishing you lots of sunshine to keep you warm and brighten your day, lots of love to fill you from within, and lots of peace to fuel you through each day. 💖💖💖💖💖
LikeLike
@ Daisy: I think the toughest task in life is to be kind to yourself. The whole world can tell you, you are worth it, that love is your birthright, as loving yourself is too…well, that is easier said then done 😉 I ‘follow’ you for quite a while know and you are a Beautiful Soul. Big hug and XxX
@Mr.Willow: thank you for being so vulnerable and not only show your lovely wife you care, but also us readers. XxX
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed, Patty. Why do we struggle so much with being kind to ourselves? I’ve followed you since I started blogging. My fave place to connect is here: on WordPress . Lots of love xxx I will pass the message on to Mr Willow 😉 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Probably because we became to believe (and each of us in the ‘same kind of place’ has his/hers unique reason, why we do 😉 ) we don’t deserve to be happy, let alone to be our true self…
I’ve learned it the hard way too, but it really, really, really is ok to be me/you.
XxX
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love You! I think we are singing from the same music sheet xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have a remarkable and understanding husband, Daisy. Be strong and you will both get through these difficult times. Think of what you are going through as building a stronger relationship rather than tearing it down. Hugs to both of you. 🎵
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Eugenia. Better times are never far. Ups and downs are a part of life. Thank you x
LikeLiked by 1 person
He is a gem! And reading his records, I feel I have a better understanding of this illness from the perspective. He is so consistent about his commitment to understand you. I have to learn from this man
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hiya Mon, yeah. The best diamonds come in the form of people! Rare to find and well….weve been through a lot. And we are still working at marriage. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are both heroic in your own way! Sastimos (good health)! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, clarissa x big hugs sastimos x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Daisy, I pray that you two can get through this. He’s trying to understand what you’re going through. You are beautiful and I just want you to know that. Please work together and lean on him. His love for you is oozing throughout his words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know he us
I should stop try g to push him away. Lots of love. Feeling your vibes. All will be good. I’m sure I’ve had stormier days than this and I know everyone has their own demons. Big hugs ‘m xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi, what a treasure you have, and him !! Love is an amazing thing, care for each other always lol ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brooke! Yes, love is constantly taking me off my guard. I have a suspicious nature but Gaz is the one person who has lowered my gaurd it is sometimes scary to know I’ve let him see so much. I’m an person and tell people whatever is on my mind but it’s very rare I allow a person near my heart and into the workings of my mind. I have a lot of respect for him because I’m not an easy person to love. I’m am worth the risk 😁😁. When I love – it is fiercely and passionately. We will xx ha ha
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’ve been through a lot. Thanks babs. I will back on here more in the summer. He is a remarkable man. He sets the bar for how all genders should be when it comes to relationships in my humble opinion. I’ve made sure he is eating again. I don’t want him to go through that. My family and a couple of mates are the ones who drive me to be me. I found my match 😙😚.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Phew! You certainly have a most remarkable husband……Hopefully, you will both grow in your relationship as you regain some semblance of balance in your health….. Hugs! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha Ha! That’s a rather diplomatic comment, Babs. Yes, fighting together is better than fighting alone. We also have our beautiful daughter who gives me plenty to keep me going . Many hugs to you
LikeLiked by 2 people
Keep Going Luv! All three of you need one another…. Hugs! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mwah xxx 19th
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Eek hit enter too soon ha h meant mwah hugs to you too 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉 Got them…..Thanks…. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
i am in tears for
you then
dear tasha
me i m have voracious appetites
i like to eat
but lately something is making
my insides seep out
creep out
old age
i am shit
literally
my son and i
do not like one another
he yells
most vile
words
our poor
dog
caught in the middle
for you and your man
good
live
love
forgive
please
please
nourish
your body and soul
tasher
take good
care
thanks for sharing
all the good and the
bad
and times you had
and the best
is yet to come
jack bruce breath!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also love to eat. Don’t be sad…. I’m posted this to show that no ones’s relationships are perfect.
We all have out strengths and our weaknesses. I have a lot of love and support and I do what I need to do to work, study and stay on top of things.
I’m mostly a happy person – ha ha! bless ya.
LikeLiked by 1 person
well tom will not accept who i am
that i am a mess
and dumb
all too often
and he is an ass
but he went
with his mommy
today thank god
going to turn my mind
off to daytime
american baseball!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just carry on being you. People who run away from things and peopkewho that don’t conform to the norm are not worth the energy. You are not dumb. If people don’t want to take the time to get to know you, John. Fuck them. Always write and speak the words that are true to your heart and mind and you won’t stray far into a place beyond return. Make sure you get rid of people who don’t make u feel relevant
LikeLike
oh i do but tom is my son and well today he was like i m going to call the cops. and i thought good they can take one of us away. such a life!
LikeLike
Wow !!! (I am speechless) what a remarkable man you have !!! xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
yeah…….. there are people out there who won’t use your vulnerabilities to cover up their own issues.
I have made sure he has eaten today. I had no idea. He is remarkable and human and……. Yeah.. speechless
LikeLiked by 3 people