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Ugly nose

He can’t bear to look at me.

I hate your nose – it’s bulbous, broken

by his nemesis circa 2017.

It blows. It’s flat. It stinks. It’s fat.

It’s a face he doesn’t want to know.

If he knew how close I am to snubbing him

It will show up in a bloody knife responsible for cutting off his honker.

Noise pollution-snoring slovenly.

I should be asleep!

3am is a bit late for a distorted nose disfigured by his hatred for gluttony

If he hates this nose

If he detests to look at me with an impoverished plea , why won’t you up and leave me?

I need to change!

Don’t we all. Happiness resides in our very own core.

I love you , do what you need to do. Thank God it’s friday.

I’ve gone off fish -is he interested in this snivelly, snotty news?

No, he’s confused.

What do you want if money was unlimited?

No

No

No

No

No

No

There’s not limit to further your happiness

Depart from those dirty, tinted glasses

Depart from the lady you thought you once knew

You’ve outgrown her dance. Your silence is more than a clue

The confrontational snoring . I want to bludgeon him with out further ado

Who really blew it, God knows! to hell with his slumbered shout – the only form of commication he can muster or do.

The lack of reciprocation.

The lack of effort.

The lack of indecisiveness

Cut ties

Start again .

Change is a fearless beast for many rather than the few.

Guilty as charged.

Perceptive-on my guard.

Make a choice. Don’t sit on the unmade bed. Your freedom is self made. Doubt starts in the mind.

In defence

Mode

He snores.

I’m awake.

Who wins?

Who has the highest score?

Perhaps if I took my sleeping tablets I’d have drifted into my haze

Tonight I’m the monster awake with a the unsightly nose.

Gastly

Despicable.

God only knows why his zen state lie soley with me changing my all.

He snores and snores doesn’t know what he wants. He’s his own boat with a chance to carve out oars.

Right, that’s it I’m going to get the carving knife

I’m going to cut off his nose then we’ll see if we indeed reap what we sew.

What a carry on.

Blow after blow

A mindless hedge untrimmed unkempt. Shut up I’m the one who knows.

A charlie chaplin lost in translation

He mimes in waking moments

Dictates his Hitler speech in the hours of slumber

Separate the whites from the yolk.

I’m out of here. He’s bleeding profusely.

You heard nothing but the snores of a sloth.

It’s up to me to disappear. The ugly nose is a no show.

Again

My husband slept on the floor again.

My daughter slept out away from home

Again

I stayed upstairs in our kingsize bed

All alone

Again

I’m beginning to detest the word again

Again.

It’s a kind of Magic

Behold, the black witch inside her!
“For one day she will realize her true powers to the full and command her random intents.
And, so the ‘magic’ of her possession will  will cause the chaos to come,all those toxic around her will tumble.

Bruised and scarred
They will all roll away.

The witch inside her will turn in on  herself and become a tiny black , pincered  scorpion. If she is  arrested under a great ultra light she will glow.
Yes, she will  glow fluorecently so, and  appear other worldly and of  exceptional brilliance. That is when she will  decide  sting herself to the death.

The End

Or  not….
maybe   she will  use her power to create ‘real magic’ that sings with a beating heart-one full of  love and acceptance.

This. Is.The. End.
Doors close.

Buckets & spades

Sometimes life seems like all buckets and spades

And pensioners in rain jackets.

Until you look up

Dazzled by a spectrum that makes up your rainbow.

Flying woman

No one knew of the flying woman

No one knew if she would fall

No one knew she hovered above

Watching those who stumbled on the cobbles after painting the town red hoping for a bloody breast to fill their stomache one night more.

Free range chickens -motherless

Hoping that no proud rooster would make an early morning call

For one night peace could be theirs thanks to the flying woman they found spread out

Life is mostly forlorn.

These are my words part 10

thoughts about faith

letting-go

The world globe doesn’t stop spinning today because our global happiness secret is something practised around the world, any time, any place.

SECRET TO HAPPINESS: Reign in the need to control everything and have faith

TRADITION: Prayer / mantras/ meditation

DATE: Everyday

CELEBRATED :Around the world.

I don’t know about you but I have always had control issues- my weight being a huge bugbear. I even want control over things like knowing what my Birthday presents are.  I mean I used to  hate surprises. I think it has something to do with knowing how to react. I don’t want to get into loads of  pyscho babble. Surprisingly 😉 (wink wink nudge nudge)   I do like surprises more than I used to. Lots of therapy did the trick 😀

The truth is;

Can we control the weather?

Well, if we  actually did something to help our environment maybe we can to some degree save it, but we can’t control if it is going to snow, rain, etc..

Can we control the economy?

No, because we already have a bunch of corrupt bastards who have a better hand in ‘controlling’ it – to be fair no one can control it but they can influence it.

Can we control Death?  No.

George Michael hit it on the nail when he sang

‘you gotta have a little faith a faith a faith aaah.’- that is how it goes in my head anyhow.

Faith  hooks an index finger under our chin and turns our face to it and says;

“It is what it is”

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Faith is always linked with Religion.  Whatever religion you can think of there is always some ritual of offerings, prayers, sacrifices and putting our trust in an unseen entity ,that we  believe has the power ,that we perceive we  lack to change things.  I have a saying about this – you may not like it but when has that stopped me  from being blunt before?

 By all means practice your faith and let me practice mine or lack of it.  I always get peoples backs up when I say,

” Why give some invincible God all the credit for my own hard work?  Credit where it is due. “

I’m  kind of kidding. We all need to place our faith in something when  there is the possibility of losing all hope.  The same goes for what we can and can’t control.

 My family have this in-house joke that my Grandad is up in heaven or wherever and ‘making bets and business deals with God’ .

That’s why we surrender.  There is no address we can Google, no appointment we can make to visit our God of choice and talk business. We don’t know if our ‘prayers’ will be answered -so we have to take comfort in hoping that our Gods are merciful.  There is always the middle man – priest, witch doctor etc..

Personally, I prefer to go to the direct source.

This is where faith can ‘move mountains’ – as the saying goes. The  direct source  of faith is inside us all, no matter what religion we identify with.   When you get on the plane for your vacation – you place your faith in the pilot to get you to xyz destination. You don’t ask him which God he answers to. If we need surgery we place our trust in doctors of all faiths because  in my opinion all those faiths lead to one source.

images

 For what it’s worth,I believe in something more tangible – I believe in energy. That energy doesn’t discriminate. My faith is  in knowing there is scientific proof  that there is kinetic energy. I believe when I release any energy I am holding hostage inside me in the form of thoughts ,emotions etc… it helps me direct my energies  outwards into the cosmos.

So, when things are not going so great, think about what it is that you can truly control and cannot control. This post is not about religion. It’s about taking ownership of what you truly have power over  that can make a difference and letting go of the things that you can’t control.

Example:

You can’t control it if your partner cheats on you but you can control how you respond and how  you let it play out.  You decide the outcome –  you may decide to never place your trust in another person again. You can also summon up hope and have faith that things will get better over time.  Your heart will mend.

MESSAGE: Unburden yourself. Who ever  you place your trust in – be it  a God, an Angel, the four elements, energy, allow them him/her/it  to lift the weight off your shoulders of  what is beyond your control.  Only then can you truly move forward and be free.

 

(ALL IMAGES SOURED FROM GOOGLE IMAGES)

 

The fabric of Daisy

Daisy wake up

Trends need not dictate this an essential need

Shake off slumbers veil

Success is never found in a blind fools dream

Daisy wake up

Or walk down that outdated well trodden path –

adorned with familiar perilous pain

an old haunt languishing in rags of ruin

Impart a funfair of heartache its sole profit -all yours to gain.

Never to find the seeds of hope

Never to nurture the growth of a place to call home

Never to venture into pastures only future horizons can show

Daisy wake up

Watch the ceiling of creativity dissolve

Watch the truth of your words stagnate in a river polluted by moments spent

On outdated memories

over bloated corpses floating upwards willing you to give them a second glance.

Daisy wake up

Are you willing to drown against the current of change

Are you willing to obscure your voice to clouds of doubt

whitewash all your words as a some garment crafted but in vain

Bears in man cuff

Walking with man cuffs round the 4 edges of these walls

and every reflection i gaze into

Al I see is those beaten ,bloody paws

the ones that climb into me even when i scream out

I am worth more.

I seek for a relief from this constant itching to feel sweet relief for a few hours

I long for a moment when I can look in the mirror and not see a pair of eyes lower and cowers .

I am

I am the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.
Wonders if my life  purpose is to laugh and tease.

I hear the hair raising scream
I see the  barbed wire , a body electrocuted   two feet away from my mortal skin

I want to avert my eyes – It never happened , pretend all is okay.
I am the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.

I pretend to be helpless
I feel I repeatedly sin. Stuck in a mind that can’t  learn from mistakes.
I worry the world is passing me by, time doesnt care if I can’t leave the past to drift off out of peripheral vision.

I cry because I am to blame for feeling insignificant.
I am the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.

I understand my insight is a double edged sword
I say I have courage yet honestly I’m  not sure how much.
I dream to travel away from the houses visited each slumber night. Subconscious give me solitide.
I try to be funny, charismatic and loyal.
I hope the people I hold dear to me won’t  leave me
Though I  suspect they will.
I am the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.