I seem to be drawn to the chilled out vibes in music this week. The cha cha cha chang (?) of this song is soulful, laced with moments of winding funk beats which lend it a cool, fleshed out tune. Sometimes, I enjoy listening to a bit of instrumental hiphop/triphop/ soul /funk. Instrumental music is cool to chill out to.
The saxophone gives the A-side a G-funk delight.
Is that even a music term?
I guess it is now. 😀
This is the first song I’ve heard of the BACO RHYTHM & STEEL BAND.
So it’s great they’ve got a B-side to sample.
On the B side, they have done a rework of Mobb Deep’s hit with the same name. In fact, the B-side has gone straight into my playlist. I adore sounds that immerse cultures and flaunt a multitude of sounds. This has a real Bhangra, anime, Bolly wood espionage feel. It’s playful and seriously cool. Bangerz delight.
For those of you who want to hear Mobb Deep’s ordinal song ‘Burn’ – yeah, they’ve done the song justice. It’s sweet!
Finally, to round up this post, if I may… I wish to impart and depart (lol)with a few words
.I always want to be successful in whatever I’m doing just like everyone else. I want to get it right. I want to see my “5-year GOAL/PLAN” results from the day I have an idea to do something different with my blog or with my Life.
It is cool to not have everything figured from the initial conception. Be cool with that and enjoy the process.
Every day is not going to be a day where we feel we have hit our creative goals.
Great or small.
Sometimes it’s cool to break down a big dream in to smaller chunks. Count all your achievements -great and small
The 11 of May 2020 I attempted my final suicide -or so I thought. I had read the manuals -, crushed the tablets into a gooey mixture -add small drops of liquid -with a morsel and pestle.
Measured a small dose of alcohal to 3/4’s apple juice chugged the pastedown without any hesitation.
Fear entered my brain -I let it sail past until it grew cloudy Its size was irrelevant
I had to achieve death.
The choice I longed for -an inpatient stay -12 months at atime starving my body hadn’t worked A suicidal coward -I couldn’t live with an ego wounded with a false hubris made shirt.
I waited until I was alone – my calculations of jumping off suicide bridge again seemed ill prepared for what I had in store.
Quetiapine -antipsychotic medication was a miscalculation too The symptoms agitated my unconscious state
Stairs lead me to the front door This is an account from my husband-yellow flowers in his hand he found me regurgitating on my vomit on the kitchen floor.
In 2018 I ended up in ICU 9 hours -my mother prayed -I raged from her selfish wants. She had no understanding of living day to day in a body half sawed from an asylum hijacked from myriad peacocks relentless until I escaped -there sounds crawled up my spine Lit upmy human barbaric side -quelled the blaze could not be subdued.
2020 -Inhaling my vomit husband pushed open the back door with yellow roses to cheer me up He knew I was running off the cliff – he thought let me cheer my missus up.
Many hours, days I was tortured by Aliens Abducted. I pleaded for the fire to cease for water to replenishes my thirst. World War 2 Masks leering over me cold showers Christians say I was in purgatory.
Mother on her knees The daughter wrote to me in my sleeping castle. I fought against the tube pipe minutes from a trachae-I begged for freedom -a place filled with light. Hell what would I know? Aliens abducted me -I know that cold water Sticks prodded
Probing up my nose
Mind tricks disregarded my pleas to change let me leave I knew no prayer or god would release me A face painted up as my mother caught my eye –
my daughter couldn’t hold my attention.
Guilt fit to burst out tears .
Gassed for my lack of integrity
I found out how many days my dear mother prayed for me to come out of my coma.
The family started reconciling I was on a life support machine-close to brain damage, paralysed- death would be the prayer for my destiny.
Once again -her rosary beads anointed her Happy birthday mum, where am I ?-
the aliens bid me farefill after a 5 day probing An experiment not worthy of their intelligence It was all for nothing
10 days later I was high on life.
A hug doesn’t help, nor did talking, self-medicating, reaching out to my tribe. Suicide is not the answer unless you are sure you know why you want to say goodbye. Do your research & even then you might not die. Months go by I’m still here -my body & thoughts to collude with troubles from 3months Gone by– I thought I had dealt with my trauma by attempting to stage my greater suicide attempt.
Life toys with my perception -some days I laugh – other days I scream at the injustice of the helpful folk who saved my life without my consent I’m present – I’m still here. This is my journey. I’m seeking help. I hope to find peace before death shrouds all philosophical thought.
SUICIDE ATTEMPT 25. I’m still alive SURPRISE -no mask
Oh, wait the mirror betrayed me when I stopped seeing myself without a glare.