Why do I do this to myself?

Then again, Why not ? A small update on the NaNoWriMO front. a-me-at-computer-cartoon

I have got my achievement badge of 10 000 words. Oh yeah! It’s pretty organic and rough but there is a story down. It is tangible and there is shit going on in it that may appeal to some one other than my characters sometime in my future life. I don’t know how some  writers  who plan every detail of their character’s tastes, shoe size -temperament etc. ever get around to writing and finishing  a novel. I’m not trying to big myself up but I guess I need to be that person who pats herself on the back sometimes.  Aint No-body who  is gonna do it for you.This writing thing shows commitment. Doing challenges like this adds character and reveals another layer of  our highly complexed selves, that is more interpretable to ourselves and the world and people who live around us . At least, this is what I think it does for me. So 20 days to go  and 40 000  coherent linked up  words to write and make into a story.

Maybe my writing is worthy of some praise- then again- maybe not. At-least I’m putting myself out there. Getting out of my safety zone. Speaking/typing  of which, I have only gone and said I will stand up in front of a bunch of people next week and briefly talk to them about Anti-stigma and mental health. I hate talking in crowds. I’m more of a one on one sort of gal. There is only one way to conquer the fear of losing my train of thought when I get up and start my mini speech; and that is to confront it head on. Oh and make notes. tee hee!

Yeah, cos this will really catch on and be a hit right?

Yeah, cos this will really catch on and be a hit right?

Wing it until you make it.’

Not a unhealthy quote to live by.

That reminds me! I need to create a mantra for myself -to big myself up for my mini speech and be a credible person to work with in a work shop. Okay. thinking of a mantra…

” I AM A GREAT PUBLIC SPEAKER AND I AM AN ASSET TO THIS WORKSHOP”  – my mantra until next wed.

I’m rolling with it. I’m finding my place and it’s exciting and terrifying. I was a brilliant travel consultant and had loads of confidence a few years ago. I was good in every job I took on. I became ill again and I got up again. Never stop getting up.  I’m not about to let my side down now or ever. The one problem I do have is, there is so much I want to do but I am only human and can only work  within the 24 hour day structure. The main thing in is my mental health and physical health is good. The amount of pressure and stress I am putting on myself is not insurmountable. I’m having a blast!

P.S. no cocktails until Christmas (  apologies for actually bringing this word up as we are still in November- may I get no orange and half a lump of coal in my sack . It is time to detox the natural way. I am partial to a green tea and slice of lemon in hot water most days and the writer in me demands coffee. I am healthy therefore I must have one vice….

Posted on 2015-11-10, in MY BRAIN -MY THOUGHTS and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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