Blog Archives

Pluck my feathers.Watch me fly.

Life is not a list to check off.

Have goals .

Have dreams.

Don’t allow bitterness and the pursuit of wealth or  the desire to look like a touched up picture of a model detract from  the meaning and the true purpose of  your life.

Easy to do. I do it too.

Figure out your purpose.

If you are not dead yet  and have tried killing yourself many times.

You have a purpose.

 

Life is a gift and a curse and today and tomorrow may not ever be the same.

One moment, one word, one test result, one decision can shake your core and world from the inside out.

A  Career- is doing something I love.

Money is a means to an end.

I can’t take all my material belongings with me to another world.

Stuff is just stuff.

Everything is replaceable except for a life and your health. Houses are demolished by hurricanes, weather freaks of nature every day.

Happiness is….. whatever the fuck you make it.

Make each day count. my Uncle taught me that saying. 

If money is your God. Make sure you have a good deal with the money God or make sure you are that God.

Chances are you won’t permanently succeed    over toppling that son of a biaatch.

Happiness -now that is a choice.

Choices are hard to make at times. We can convince ourselves we have no choice.

See this world through  the eyes of  a child, an elderly person or someone who is ill or someone who is grateful to have a bed  to sleep on.

To  the person who told me all homeless  people are homeless because they are drug addicts or alcoholics.

WOW!

I recall a time when said person was made homeless because  they couldn’t pay their rent. No drug issues apart from an Eating disorder, diet pills and codeine and junk food and an illness and no support from anyone to help her.

I was 5 years old and I came home from school,I was told to sit on the step while I watched 2/3  men throwing our stuff out.

Literally throwing our stuff out the window.

The weekend before it was beautiful sunny day. I swam and we  sat around the swimming  pool. I don’t know how I knew or who told me that the landlord was going to throw  us out.

I left said person to sunbathe and I decided to fight for our home.

I’ve always been a trouble maker. Some one who has the audacity to challenge people bigger than me.

I don’t shut up.

 

My Mother made sure I knew how to write my name and read before I was in kindergarten. She taught me how to read and write.

I wrote him a letter and posted it to him.

I asked him to not throw us out. Give us more time. We promise we will pay the rent.

 

I guess we can all be  dickheads and worry about money and looks.

YUP- they are and will fade. 

I’ve seen people I love become millionaires then become paupers over night and then millionaires again  and die with nothing.

Not even their dignity. A papers funeral.

Money and looks are in a constant state of flux

Make sure you have character to back you up. HarDships make character – It’s easy to be bitter, its easy to be hard and emotionless.

Its easy to moan because I walked in the rain (again)  in england.

I decided to put my face to the sky ,watch  the birds fly and allow the rain to  soak face and hair.

I smiled and smiled – in spite of not having cent to buy food or anything until next Thursday.

I’m not a fool.

I looked like one walking in the  the rain with a  grin on my embracing the rain and the cold.

Just like I did when I was a child.

Not comforming to  looking downwards ,scowling  -at the damn British  weather.

Look for signs of life. Flowers are blooming again.

I’m scared.

I have to have hope.

Hope is the only thing that keeps me going.

My mother refuses to tell me she loves me. We argue. She’s ill.

I tell her I love her no matter what.

LOVE BEAUTIFUL SOULS, FLAWED SOULS. Help those who can’t see past a dollar bill or the next selfie or the this day to get through life. YOU WILL NEVER LOOK OR BE AS GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL AS YOU ARE TODAY. 

Don’t let the bastards whether family, friends or foe blame you for their problems  and for making mistakes.

We are all human.

I don’t need a God to pray to for strength .I have love in my heart and I don’t give up on the people I love. I include my Dad in that.

These are my words

Thoughts about letting go

Okay I might as well get it out now.

20 guests have been invited to our wedding on the 22/06/2016. Invitations were sent out ages ago. Everyone confirmed and then Life happened.

Everyone on the list is not expendable. In our books they are chosen for specific reasons.

Five of the guests -a family – are chosen for being the ones that brought me and my King together.

I don’t know if they will make it (I’ve asked them to tell us on many occasions) because of their current situation. It is a matter of life and death. I understand life happens but this is our wedding and after many phone calls and chats; I don’t think I will be in a  forgiving mood if they don’t make it.

Another couple is literally family. I’ve asked repeatedly over the months if they are sure that their health issues won’t affect them from coming to the wedding.

A lot of mixed signals and I’m dubious.

I’m quite sure that my two bridesmaids will be there considering the money invested in making them feel beautiful on the day. I have not gone all bridezilla on them . The only thing I made clear was I wanted their hair to be flowy and boho – up and down , plaits and not fussy with loads of crap in their hair.

I don’t want to fall out with people I have known for many years and people I will get to know in the years to come; over something that is not life threatening.

Hair – unless it involves losing it should not be a big fucking issue!

I’m starting to doubt my own hair do and thank fuck I am having another trial  soon.

I am quite positive that four of the guests will be there – unless some travesty happens and of course that would not be be their faults.

The final guests I am kind of hoping won’t have any kind of issue on the day- I understand people get sick. I  would always put my friends and families health before my own happiness.

One guest is our daughter. She is coming.

The thing is: Our wedding day is a once in a life time event.

There are many people we wanted to invite but we had to be really strict so we could have our wedding day, and make sure that every guest is catered to  and has the very best we have to offer them ,to thank them for celebrating our day: with us.

I can’t control this. It is bigger than me and I’ve got to the point now where I have to sing ‘ Let it go’ because I’m a fucking first time bride – worrying about making sure everyone else is happy while I don’t get a chance to worry about my own hair, make up, health state etc..

I know I am having a bride to be rant. I didn’t want to post it because it is so…..

so…………….. predicable.

I hate being predictable but I want my guests to be predictable.

Isn’t that a bit of a catch 22 ?

So I’m letting go and will have an epic day in spite of what happens on the day.

I love everyone who is going to be there but there are also a lot of other people I love to pieces who I wanted to be there too.

My mantra up until the wedding is this little gem

#FollowGreatFootsteps with Charlie Zero the poet

“The only way your soul will ignite – is if you press your ears against curiosities chest.
That is true madness waiting to undress inspiration.” ~ Charlie Zero #FollowGreatFootsteps

 There is no need for me to do a quote today because the Avant-garde poet Charlie Zero beat me to it 😀  – If you want to challenge yourself this poets blog is  your  go to place . I will warn you. You may need a dictionary. Charlie Zero’ advice to me..

If the words

Surrealist                Avant Garde            Weird         Visionary  -speak to you .

You will have it in triple doses. Read his Bio-.  and read his latest poem – ‘Captain Anyflop’ – it  left my head spinning 360 degrees

I woke up to this quote. It is a bit surreal but I have so much respect for people who blog who come up with their own quotes. So why this quote ? in Charlie Zero’s own words

“My quote and I came up with it since last year.

This quote to me represents who I am as a poet and how far I take my writings to the next level of weird/bizarre/trip to the odyssey.”

CHARLIE ZERO BIO 

What do I make of this quote?

I think for me ; humans always want to know things. We gossip, we want answers all the time. We naturally far too curious for our own good sometimes.

If you want to really extend your knowledge and give a kick to your mind and entire being you need to go to the source of your curiosity. Cut out the  middle man.

It is madness in a way because you are walking into a land you have no clue as to what you will find.

But by seeking out knowledge stripped of everything -ego and allow the truth of your discovery to to sink in –

you will find something that shakes you to your core and inspires you to live with fire in your belly.

Of course my interpretation can be completely  wrong. It is all about the effort, right? 😀  😀  – I’m trying here 🙂

HERE IS THE BLURB BIT

I’m always looking for great quotes so if you have one that is unusual or unique -let me know in the most recent post comment sections.

I will make sure I post your quote/ folk tale/proverb/ in #FollowGreatFootsteps category and I will send a a direct link to your page 🙂

*OPTIONAL* -add a short or long comment about why you love a particular quote a simple word or to on what it means to you.

THE ONLY RULE IS : MY DECISION TO USE A QUOTE WILL BE BASED ON THE FIRST COMMENT I RECEIVE WHEN I OPEN UP MY  EMAILS AT 5 A.M.

Why do it?
Who doesn’t love a good quote?

Bringing inspiring quotes into our conscious minds gives us the chance to try and adopt that quality we love in an inspirational person

Four quotes that get me through the day

The featured image quote is a random one I found this morning. It’s not a mantra of mine but it is possibly a good one to filter into our thoughts. So when I came across it I thought

“How apt-  you lovely quote is my post feature image.”

 These three mantras keep me going – sharing is caring right?

They work because I tell myself this every day, as many times in a day as I can. A lot of the times I don’t even believe them but I keep saying them out loud or in my mind. I never stop telling myself these.

Think of mantras as mini prayers you tell yourself.. I find this way of looking at mantras makes sense to me.

 

 The other one I say to myself is

“If I am going to do it give it all I have got..”

(All images sourced from Google images)

 

 

Why do I do this to myself?

Then again, Why not ? A small update on the NaNoWriMO front.

I have got my achievement badge of 10 000 words. Oh yeah! It’s pretty organic and rough but there is a story down. It is tangible and there is shit going on in it that may appeal to some one other than my characters sometime in my future life. I don’t know how some  writers  who plan every detail of their character’s tastes, shoe size -temperament etc. ever get around to writing and finishing a novel. I’m not trying to big myself up but I guess I need to be that person who pats herself on the back sometimes.  Aint No-body who  is gonna do it for you.This writing thing shows commitment. Doing challenges like this adds character and reveals another layer of  our highly complexed selves, that is more interpretable to ourselves and the world and people who live around us . At least, this is what I think it does for me. So 20 days to go  and 40 000  coherent linked up  words to write and make into a story.

Maybe my writing is worthy of some praise- then again- maybe not. At-least I’m putting myself out there. Getting out of my safety zone. Speaking/typing  of which, I have only gone and said I will stand up in front of a bunch of people next week and briefly talk to them about Anti-stigma and mental health. I hate talking in crowds. I’m more of a one on one sort of gal. There is only one way to conquer the fear of losing my train of thought when I get up and start my mini speech; and that is to confront it head on. Oh and make notes. tee hee!

Yeah, cos this will really catch on and be a hit right?

Yeah, cos this will really catch on and be a hit right?

Wing it until you make it.’

Not a unhealthy quote to live by.

That reminds me! I need to create a mantra for myself -to big myself up for my mini speech and be a credible person to work with in a work shop. Okay. thinking of a mantra…

” I AM A GREAT PUBLIC SPEAKER AND I AM AN ASSET TO THIS WORKSHOP”  – my mantra until next wed.

I’m rolling with it. I’m finding my place and it’s exciting and terrifying. I was a brilliant travel consultant and had loads of confidence a few years ago. I was good in every job I took on. I became ill again and I got up again. Never stop getting up.  I’m not about to let my side down now or ever. The one problem I do have is, there is so much I want to do but I am only human and can only work  within the 24 hour day structure. The main thing in is my mental health and physical health is good. The amount of pressure and stress I am putting on myself is not insurmountable. I’m having a blast!

P.S. no cocktails until Christmas (  apologies for actually bringing this word up as we are still in November- may I get no orange and half a lump of coal in my sack . It is time to detox the natural way. I am partial to a green tea and slice of lemon in hot water most days and the writer in me demands coffee. I am healthy therefore I must have one vice….