* Some say write what you know others say make it all up. Sometimes the best way to deal with  our shit is to  get it all out. Some need a good fuck -others need a mind fuck . I need a word play around fuck and have fun- not get too serious.*

You’re a great shagger!

Is it better when I stagger?

You will suck my cock?

Are we in Surgery , do I have  a needle in my hand? Am I dressed like a certified Doc?

Let me lick your pussy.

Nah! let’s skip the foreplay – you pretending to make love to me is so sweet but I know how you hate  being  portrayed as a wussy.

Let’s talk for a bit. I can show you my personality.

Um. Yeah like ,sure like let me put my music on and you can blow me away with talk of your Mental Insanity.

You are a great fuck!

But…  I don’t think it’s gonna work. Three nights cuddling on the sofa and watching T.V.?

Well, shucks – thanks for the post- fuck,  diplomatic back handed  compliment.

.That makes me think:

 shit,dude!  you so need to thaw and chow down on a super sized Smiley Maccie  E .

Why does it seem guys can move on so fast after  they cum?

Us girls – well me – I get to dual with my emotional, shit- loaded scum.

No amount of of limescale cleaning,

will make this emotional scum any more prepared to ditch my mind , take a sail ,

Exit the next

nearest body of water-  preferably not mine.

HINT: the one that is gleaming .

You need to stay away from me – we need to sort out our own issues.

Couldn’t you have fucking told me that pre -shag then I could have stayed home and read  the real  ‘Big issue’and saved a quid on fucking Kleenex tissues?

Sex politics;

Fuck

 with my intellectual  scholastic Holistics.

Want a sure fire way to make sure you never get a reply from a guy  ever  again?

Go on a two day  bender,start drunk texting inanely, tell him  how you think you  love him and then how you  hate him –

I’m sure he  will totally want to see your  pretty mug and have round two of a…..

Oh no wait, he will probably be lighting up the Good Bud having a good purging- who’s counting ? Maybe Ten . I’m pretty sure he is not picking up his precious  fountain pen.

Please get back to me! Have a heart -Stop being so mean ……

Yeah, I think , I’m going to be waiting for a while, like an orgasm that makes me want to scream.

How did this start?

Shagging

Pre -fuck – You are fucking stunning!

Banging!

Post fuck – maybe I will need to start gearing up with a shunning.

 Want to feed into Lip service -pay with your heart?

Shake a tail feather at it and you will probably get more respect -maybe even be admired for that show – it is  kind of an  Art.

So ,this has got to end somewhere

Maybe , I need to just leave and pick up my salty  underwear.

( maybe one day a  “complicated” friendship will get as easy as a pre -fuckable me)

Until then life continues…

Welcome to married life.

With a complicated wife.