“Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.” -UNKNOWN
Ha! I love this quote. I very rarely let myself truly chill out and veg. This weekend was the first weekend and time in over a year that I have given my mind and body a true chance to chill and enjoy being in the moment.
Why do we think that what we do is– nothing? not enough?
I look back over the years and, at this moment in time, no, I don’t have a 9-5 job.
However, I have been working harder than I would, ( I am talking about me here), say if I had been working in a 9-5 job.
I’ve only just realised how important it is to take some time away from my work and what I do.
I love being active and in the last couple weeks-everything, I love to do stopped being fun any more.
I was even getting stressed out about some of the things I do to wind down, an example is Blogging. It was having the opposite effect. I was getting way too grumpy.
I even thought of taking a break from it.
I have just realised that all I needed was a couple of days to
not get too worried about being up to date with my posts
not work out to my most difficult dance work out session
not only seeming to eat bloody fruit until the wedding.
not having to be the most awesome .. insert title here……
not worry an have that inner belief that I can give my all in whatever I have going on next week.
It’s Sunday and I woke up at 10. It does help to have a Bella Bee free night.
I didn’t wake up at 5 am to start blogging and reading blogs. I know I can do that later on today and this week and next week and the week after that.
Here is the philosophical bit.
I don’t know if it is age but my mental state is finally starting to shift.
I have my goals but I have finally started to stop trying to prove to people that they have to like me or what I do or say or write.
I care about a lot of people and support many people here and in my “real life” but I now know I don’t need their approval.
Not all people will get me or you.
Don’t take it to heart.
Usually, if someone seems to ignore you, is hostile, is not consistent with how they treat you. If you are always left feeling drained or uncomfortable and generally bummed out around certain people.
99% of the time, it is not something you need to figure out.
It is usually all about what that person has going on in their head.
People who judge and are critical to others, try and target the people who are themselves and who are 100% genuine and happy with what they are doing and where they are going. Haters try to make you question if you are good enough with what you do or have. They never give you anything but a serious doubt in your abilities.
Usually, whatever seems like a reflection on you and who you are and how you are – isn’t.
I know I am the only person who knows myself better than anyone. If I trust my gut instincts, I know how to reign myself in, reflect on my own judgements and check out what is going on with me.
Not everyone is comfortable with the fact I don’t hide certain ‘”skeletons” of my life in an overflowing wardrobe, that I supposedly should be ashamed to share.
My thinking is – I share them because I fucking got over them.
If you don’t like that I am not all caught up in an eternal self- mind fuckery, that is your problem, not mine.
I and you. We all have a life to live.
There is a great life out there to see and experience. We need to take time to chill and do our own thing. Even if it seems like we are doing nothing. We are usually doing a lot.
I am convinced that all the things I have lined up for this next week -will be tackled with 100% passion and commitment.
I’m feeling fresh, energised (amazing what a few haribos can do)
That’s it from me.
( photo credit)
Francesca Woodman – White Socks, Providence, Rhode Island, 1976.
( … from the book Francesca Woodman, edited by Corey Keller, San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, 2011.)
Never give up!
Nina sang it well: it’s a new dawn, a new day….
When you look at yourself straight on in the mirror – chant his name three times.
The Grim Reaper is more likely to pay a visit and say ‘wassup?
Thinking about all those folk who want to live. Don’t have a cat’s chance or a lucky clover to pray over.
Last night, life became mission impossible. If you read it – I’m free flowing this to say, don’t give up.
Don’t give in.
When it feels like you are at the end of Hangman’s noose, about to kick the bucket from under your feet;
that is the moment where we have the opportunity to reveal our true soul’s pathos.
Don’t you think the cloaked hooded figure has a lot of soul collecting to get on with?
I’m not saying that what we feel at the time we feel it is an illusion.
What I pointing out is that change is the only constant – and that can lead to desperate ,devastating confusion.
Inside me – I’m still trembling, worrying , wondering. What am I going to do? Can I do this?
Questions and questions and questions blowing out fog enough to make any mind spin.
Stop. Hammer time.
No , that is not what I meant to write. 😀
Warped sense of humour.
Effective enough to keep all the rattling bones and bolts inside me, cast a glow over my demeanour.
Look around you. Every time you see a flower bloom -despite its brethren humming out sad tunes.
That is Life continuing in spite of all the strife.
One seed of Hope. Get through this second,hour, evening.
Take the seed, germinate it, nurture it, feed it, love it , talk to it.
Take the time – make it thine.
watch it grow into a mighty oak – proud and on display.
it seems impossible to define.
Plant it. Don’t throw it away.
Keep a hold of it. It may just be the one thing that carries you over the struggle D-day line.
On the surface – flowers. trees, icebergs – all look fantastical – magical even.
Look below the surface. There is a formula – you can build on that too – no magic. no miracles.
Approach thyself with an examining eye.
Make it your number one priority to get to know what makes you tick.
If you stop ticking- make it your priority to know where to go to get a battery replacement or get your heart resuscitated.
Know what makes you well, try things that seem alien, reach out of that comfort zone.
Scream ,yell, type, don’t bottle it up – we have the technology – make a call -pick the phone up.
We have a voice – use it. Listen!
sweet melodic freedom – I am the only one with the key to unlock and escape from my own prison.
Never give up.
No matter how difficult and complicated it gets – remember that there is more to this space than a one-dimensional prism.
I know it’s scary – to feel caught up in a schism.
Pieces of the mind caving in -thoughts toppling over, it’s like being a Chilean miner being held hostage underground.
Two months of no light . A sorrowful plight.
It’s dark but you are still breathing. You may be the only one but time is not about to start giving in.
Chin up. Keep looking for a strategy.
An exit route. Use that sombre time to recollect . Hell, get all dramaturgy.
We come into this world kicking, screaming, wondering, possibly even believing. We mustn’t give up unless time says ‘okay enough’.
So, I say go the way you came in . If it is not our time – then fight with every muscle. All the nerve you can summon up.
Truth or dare?
I have truth spilling out of my aura like pennies falling into the slot machine, the one in working order.
Dare to have. slip on your shades if you have to – things might just get a little brighter.
You may levitate – feel lithe and even a little lighter.
Don’t be afraid to succeed and be happy
You don’t need to go to the dentist to get your two front teeth divided so you can look like Mrs Go Lucky Gappy.
*Inspired by my WRAP plan and my recent WRAP facilitator training*