Blog Archives

The authentic order

Be authentic 👏and keep writing , expressing yourself, pushing out of your comfort zone, getting back on the wagon , dealing with regrets with advocates/friends.

No person’s life is perfect. Many days a tough and unbearable however there are days when we can push ourselves to places we never imagined seeing or experiencing.

Challenges make us stronger even when they feel like they are destroying us at the time; albeit second, moment, hour, weeks, months…

Recovery has no limits-

if you have hope or can find a match or a flint or even be thrown a lifeline of light to help you guide yourself back to shore.
Don’t be ashamed to use the lighthouse. A metaphor 😉

I’ve leant on many people – strangers and family alike. People who were there short-term or long-term.

Not everyone is 100 percent helpful. Learn what you can from your experiences- good and bad . Set your boundaries. It takes a life time of changing them and setting them.

Don’t knock yourself for having to hit your head against a wall trying to learn the same lesson multiple times –
The aim is to keep your eye on the long goal.
👏👏👏
Have hope.
Be as educated as you can on yourself
Use others to lean on without abusing their time
Learn to take accountability for your life
And live.
Live.
Live
Drop down,
Stumble,
Fall if you you must..
Sleep

Just get back up and remember to look after yourself. Basics – hair , teeth , bath , clean clothes.
Open the curtains, make your bed even if you get back into it 5 mins later, get out walking even for 5 mins.
Feel whatever you feel and notice it and listen to others even if you want to hurt in & disagree…
That’s it from me.

Prompt the order of the dog

Posted in MENTAL HEALTH

3 Comments

Tags: Beliefs, Creativity, Culture & identity, Emotions, humanity, INSPIRATION, Mental Wellbeing, values

Dear So called friend

Sep 8

Posted by Daisy Willows

Posted in MENTAL HEALTH

4 Comments

Tags: #anorexia, Beliefs, Bipolar disorder, Creativity, Culture & identity, Eating Disorders, Emotions, Human rights, MENTAL HEALTH, mental health awareness, Recovery, values

Today

Jun 18

Posted by Daisy Willows

Walked out my front door

First time in 5 days, I turned right for a change of scenery chucking out the rubbish – the highlight of this today

Beneath my feet the concrete was still grey

My demeanour resembled the bland council houses unimaginative choice of decorating on the cheap -resembles a prison … whatever . No , I’m done rhyming today.

What prompts these feathered words typed and on display – a bird not in flight

Wings tinged with blue a sorrowful sight to see no fight

Eyes bright with dew dawn light.

Eyes screetching victoriously: I found the worm special of the day!

How do I say , justify , describe the way my heart swooned the wrong way. I looked up at the sky thankful for the first time in many for it’s consistant rays.

A distraction , a rouse – I knew it was dead . I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t move him onto a more dignified path. I was afraid he’d come back to life.

Circled around him in a hesitantly callous way

How dare he interrupt a quiet walk-the first in almost a week from sunday?

Did I imagine it semi flutter whilst I walked past him with my bin liner full of litter ?

I profess to love watching those with wings -airborn soaring . I’m envious in away. A speculating visual painting adorned with glittered hues , proof that life moves in every way.

I confess I have a phobia of dead birds. Past memories of one I wasn’t able to save in my childhood

Direction moved me to walk the other way from a lifeless soul left to rot on a staircase.

I’m ashamed.

Posted in POETRY

Sins amass-theatre

Mar 12

Posted by Daisy Willows

Last night I went out. Yes, wahaaaaaay!

Cheeky cocktail at T.G.I’s and then it was off to watch Grim North Theatres – ‘Sins of our Father.’

So this got me thinking about the word -ex-communication.

The production focuses on the seven deadly sins.

I liken them to the seven (not so) friendly dwarfs.

What I love about this kind of theatre is how vividly I can see who are the influences behind how modern theatre is still being developed in The U.K. – there was plenty of surrealism-

Names of Influential playwright practitioners of Experimental theater that come to mind are:

and indeed even

Stanislavski

I think every play needs a touch of what I will call realism although naturalism would probably be the better word to use here. I say this because without a human, being able to identify with a character’s situation – all meaning becomes lost…..

We all have emotions. We all have vices. We have all had to make not so great life choices.

In places when I felt, in the production, like I was being pulled into a real-life situation – as one would expect in a 100% authentic kitchen sink drama / naturalistic play. I DO MEAN NATURALISM AND NOT REALISM HERE.

Boom.

Lighting changed from soft blues to startling reds. These colors will all have a different meaning for the observer/ audience member /actor even. The subjective part of me was thrown back and made to rethink what I was seeing, question what I was, in fact, being led to believe.

Music – is another great technique that I love to use when I’ve written scripts.

Look at this random picture

CLICK HERE LISTEN AND LOOK AT THIS PICTURE

NOW,

CLICK HERE AND LISTEN AND LOOK AT THE SAME PICTURE

In my opinion, Physicality is an actor in the theater is so important.

Yes. Dialogue is needed but what characters don’t say and do on stage, is just as important and helps me makes connections in my mind and heart, when dialogue couldn’t.

There is a lot of physicality and communication interpreted in the characters devised movements in this production.

What is physical theater in drama?

A form of theatre which emphasizes the use of physical movement, as in dance and mime, for expression. Disciplines include children’s theatre, film, comedy, drama,physical theatre, dance, cabaret, visual art, performance poetry, music theatre, and the full scope of music genres.

I am reminded of the Frantic Assembly.

I loved the dance with the protagonist -Alexis- and the soldier( who turns out to be the seven deadly sins, final trump card) at making Alexis feel she should feel guilty for having had an Abortion.

She is faced with having to make a choice- to murder the concept of what we call life again.

The loose ends of the plot come together when she is faced with the idea that the soldier is her aborted son, or indeed could have been if he had lived.

Not presented as a failure.

Not weak but a Hero.

Yet,Flawed and subject to all the same emotions as any human and very much full of heart.

He too corrupted by emotions and experiences.

What we choose to give into and not into is a product of our emotions about where we are in a particular journey of our lives.

Is it better to feel Pride rather than Lust?

Is it something that needs a situational context?

Why are some feelings seen bad and others good?

We all have them. Good and bad feelings.

Fuck what the church says.

It is our fundamental right to feel.

What do we do with those feelings?

…well that is up for debate.

I feel this production was well executed because I can feel empathy for the ( antagonists) seven deadly sins themselves.

Excommunication.

Do not shun what you are afraid of understanding.

Do not stigmatize what is the most natural part of you.

What makes you – a human!

Embrace all your feelings -I believe that hiding our darker sides makes that part of us stronger and unbalanced.

Lessen the burden -be a whole. Be a rainbow spectrum of light.

There is more than Black and White.

Yin and Yang

Extract what you need in moderation.

Music I have been listening to while writing this. Shrug 7th Birthday Party Mix Tape By Marc Landish

Epic DJ-ing!

Playing now

OBLIGATORY NIGHT OUT SELFIE

Have a great weekend!

Posted in MY WORLD

35 Comments

Tags: Creativity, Emotions, Humans, values

Can’t Promise her a title

Jul 26

Posted by Daisy Willows

Lazily, a tigeress snores into her paws . If only retiring was as simple to rule her inner world.

Curled up in warmth after a stroll into the big wide world,then settle for a quinquennium pause.

Her heart beats.

Nationalists- not even patriots are exempt.

All want to play in their own chord, tighten the strings ,she keeps it together, to satisfy their crucified minds.

In a state of constant – motionless movement.

If not an act of physicality -drill cumbersomely inside her cranium and you will see chemicals and synapses – making up fresh bricks and mortar, to fit in with the latest homemade yeast infused hootchie.

Glance away now, for fear of pitying an evocative attempt to get a rise from it.

Secret plots to charge this queen with treason.

Where will she live?

Her throne burnt to the ground to make way for a newly elected dopamine and serotonin scrupulous , democratic union.

Flags of self-belief – burned infringed – protecting her staked land was all this monarch tried to take into hand.

Defamation – character assassination.

Cloaked – in darkness- rat scuttles past – no pause – it already knows this violated prisoner is barren.

Scars and welts – a confession is sought after by the cardinal living east of the castle manor.

Employed only to instill courage when the most powerful empire seized a chance to escape into heritic souls howling in the wind.

Faith and Hope – not draft an erratic, purple, incensed dogmatic pope .

Dire retribution -execute the one who claims this state is her very birthright.

Clubbed to her knees – she will crawl not humbly- you shall hear her plea.

She wants to make them a better nation.

It’s her biggest exclamation.

Out plotted by her very own court – bribed by cheap whores-given away by the roughness of their hands, dressed up as expert courtesans, who clearly have seen at least one day of sun.

Intoxicated by some amorphous potion.

Formalyhde doused in cleaveaged lace dresses – it was not her initial notion.

A scented air of burning flesh

A greek tragedy indeed.

Scorned by her very owns subjects . She may be longitiduely dimintitive but she refuses to be bullied into showing them that wanted emotion.

Defeatist attitude does not a fit queen make.

Words in a precise order do not prize a piece of art,

so clearly a fake.

Forgiveness is her only weapon. She won’t see her country be overrun by zealous creachers.

It would appear her subjects wish to prove that she is illiterate.

Tortured, holding her breath under water to procure a confession – let her reiterate.

The crown is made to fit one head – It is symbolic and vaporizes with her when she exhales all energy and is varnished as dead.

Look how you’ve turned on one another – in the pursuit of power. It is a notorious illusion.

To master control over all subjects requires more than an iron-clad fist and an outraged dalliance to declare outright confusion.

Compassion,

nurture,

recognition and honor are what she offers,

accept these as the wealthiest of gifts.

Only a fool would scream,

‘Off with her head‘ -a face full of sour lemons and a lust to frazzle the last tether.

The Noblest of causes – so much bloodshed – look into her bloody, vein threaded eyes.

She hasn’t slept for weeks in her fight, to appease all those in famine, hungry and underfed.

She needs no steering Regent to aid her in her duty.

All she demands is loyalty and valor.

With you all at her side ready to conquer life’s copious battles,

we shall not go down .

your hearts will not know the true grief inflicted made up of another community of arrows.

we shall not waiver.

Trust in your queen to walk as a stout cripple ,duty bound to protect and hold it all together.

Posted in POETRY

25 Comments

Tags: Emotions, female empowerment, In Yer Face poetry, Relationships, self-belief, spirituality, STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS COLLECTION, these are my words, values

Capital gains for an elite aura

Jun 24

Posted by Daisy Willows

Random fandom

Venerable vulnerable

Society disappoints my inner light.

It screeches out a backdraft

Quell the passion at the lack of incompetence.

Respect our traditions and values

Society came and went.

Flew over a universal credit faux pas.

Capital gains for an elite aura

Chakra karma paid & displays a tramp with an earnest title.

Sir Display Equinox Sonic fox

Sly enough to out weevil the equestrian retriever.

Animus archetype

Character sparks a debate seeking clarity.

More insight.

Live for the day (they say)

seize the Monet.

Be true to our nature?

Humanities’ fatal flaw.

The world is our stage.

only in hindsight

do we engage in our higher self.

It comes with the cycle of age.

Respect to our elders living in a world blinded by ignorance.

Dictating Hyacinth Bouquets ‘ keeping up appearances’.

Failing to honor our stories

Altering texts to appease the Ego.

Inner Iago

Escapism found in pictures of the anonymous

framed around wisteria fantasies

It screams autonomous

cantering on beaches in a dark continent

Memories are all we have to keep us on the right side of sanity.

The acquisition of wealth is useless

Where did the mummies end up?

Eyes dazzled by coins.

The mystery of life lies in a pyramid.

Inverted by the shape of our expectations

We let ourselves down.

We became Sellouts

Conforming to Huxley’s dystopia

conforming to live out Pret a porter lies

Covet our true label

hanged man squints

in contempt

inscriptions fail to authenticate our brand

Our tag

Our blueprint.

Posted in STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS COLLECTION

16 Comments

Tags: Beliefs, Creativity, Emotions, humanity, Life, society, Stream of consciousness, values

WRAP is it for you?

I have been quiet on the WRAP front – wellness recovery action plan. Only for the reason, I knew this testimonial video would be available for YOU and others who want to take their life in their hands and have a plan for if it all goes down the toilet.

<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/153148446″>WRAP – Experiences, Benefits and Rewards</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/janeyoung”>Jane Young @ earth</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a>.</p>

Anyway, here it is. I think it will have more of a powerful effect on those of you who do decide to watch it. Instead of me waffling about it over 12 weeks on camera. If you want to to do WRAP and are not in a physical place close to where I live. You can still do it via my WRAP page. No costs – for free. Or you can go to the founder of WRAP-Mary Ellan Copeland‘s website and pay for the various material (if it is not free) that can be found on this website. It all about you. It is all about what you want to get out of it.

I have found out so much about myself and what I am like, what I enjoy, what makes me happy, what keeps me well, what works, what doesn’t work, what I want people in my life to do if I have a meltdown.

Posted on Apr 27, 2020 | Image

WRAP – Life and Values

Apr 27

Posted by Daisy Willows

Another Wednesday already! 4 weeks down and 8 to go. Today’s session was to focus on ‘the homework’ I was given last week- I’m a naughty student and didn’t do mine for various reasons. Anyway , the most important thing is we all did it as a group today. YAY!

So, if you are ready type or write this heading down

WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE AND GIVES IT VALUE

Before I list mine -publicly -I would like to remind you that these are personal to you and you may not want to share them and that is cool. The point of this exercise is to get your thoughts focused on what matters to you. What makes you sit up and go ‘I can go on for another day’.

What gives you that sense of purpose?

Again these exercises may appear elementary but once you have it in a form you can read it gives a more concrete meaning to what makes you feel alive in this world. This list should be in a place you can access it. I laminated mine and I also have it on my blog. I know when I feel like shit and can’t make sense of my purpose in life, or I sense I am losing my way in life. I can get my list out

and go through it to remind me what matters when I am well and in a good place.

Right, so here is a list of mine;

My Family
the need to feel on top of things
finances in order
organising my wedding (short term goal)
affectionate and love hugs
Writing
Learning new things
My mental well-being
Maintaining a BMI that is safe and that I can live with the least amount of risk of relapsing
Feeling needed and important to others
Gaining and having peoples respect (while maintaining my own self-respect)
My cat -Tatiana
Planning/ Goals
My morning caffeine fix
Making an effort with my appearance -dressing fashionably -wearing makeup
Getting my hair, eyebrows and nails done regularly
Having an uncluttered and organised home
Reading time at night with my daughter
My daughter telling me she loves me- love, in general, is important to me
Me time
Being acknowledged as a person

Finally, I don’t want to bombard anyone with information overload, so I have decided to do an end of the week mini WRAP exercise that we covered with this exercise. So keep an eye out for updates. The content is about what you need to do DAILY to maintain wellness.

Posted in MENTAL HEALTH

8 Comments

Tags: Goals, Life, Mental Wellbeing, Recovery, Self help, values

Buy ding time

Jun 12

Posted by Daisy Willows

So many people watch and talk about those who they under estimate. By all means watch,

And learn.

Maybe you will learn how to deal with one or two of your own issues

A perfectly flawed Daisy Willows

I let us down?

Shadows betrayed with a mere glimpse of a frown.

No words can express the guilt dictatorship governing me

It’s not a cop out. I know right from wrong – I know this plea

Manipulations-sucked into the vortex

Epileptic fits, child crying for a place where dinosaurs indeed exist in the mix.

Buying time while losing our minds.

Insanity led me to insist this was the shortest cut to a state of perpetual eutrophic times

Heart attack — Jack missed his usual target in sundry extrapolation.

Too much — too much — afraid to not have enough-

Threats

once choice I have to have an abortion

…..or an abortion.

The value of life against a three digit number

is not worth the risk of another loosing sanity – Look at that temper!

Fuelled by selfish, ridiculous acts in percussive persuasion.

Sick of hurting the good ones in the pursuit for a place in time where we are not struck down by our own damnation.

Heightened emotions — rouged the face of her grace .

Head rendered poisoned by the one with the latex face

Queer sighs — teary eyed.

Worth all this anvil chorus shrieking out implacable aural instigation

The fear if a god had its grip on me – I would take the whip out on my vice with attempts of self flagellation.

21 days

my soul betrays all sense of balance –

5 years of drudgery for something that has less weight than a heart.

Lost in that maze of procrastination — buying time — throwing out another seasonal line.

Fear – it will run out-plans mystify my usual organised self — maturate until all evidence of ejaculation is collected by its DNA component to outsmart.

Happiness leads to an oasis dried up well —

See that camel over there?

she’s my final hope for a sip of redemption

Unusual for a vegan to murder an animal for a quench of innocence-how far I’ve fallen —

two points away from extinction

Madness runs forever in a contortion

Fucked if I know how to talk sense into a cross eyed mass of exhaustion.

Pillage me for I am running low.

All thought out plans left in the bloodied soulless bodies of Russia’s war in winter snow

Front line-I cower-there is no courage in the how I dished out my packable blow

Left in a quiver — screamed by the knock of confrontation at my door

I do. I do I do..

If not for myself but for the one who I look to

amazed-

I observe it as one would in a zoo

Rueful

Meaning to be dutiful

This reflection is the antithesis of beautiful.

How long can love last?

when the tokoloshe is cross examined for its denied attempt at buying its time

or trying to convince that biding echoes are indeed in the indefinite past.

Posted in STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS COLLECTION

22 Comments

Tags: Goals, motivation, MY WORLD, self expression, self-awareness, STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS COLLECTION, values

Daisy in the willows

The Wow! & Woe moments of an irrepressible woman

Blog Archives

Recovery has no limits-

Last night I went out. Yes, wahaaaaaay!

Cheeky cocktail at T.G.I’s and then it was off to watch Grim North Theatres – ‘Sins of our Father.’

So this got me thinking about the word -ex-communication.

The production focuses on the seven deadly sins.

I liken them to the seven (not so) friendly dwarfs.

What I love about this kind of theatre is how vividly I can see who are the influences behind how modern theatre is still being developed in The U.K. – there was plenty of surrealism-

Names of Influential playwright practitioners of Experimental theater that come to mind are:

and indeed even

I think every play needs a touch of what I will call realism although naturalism would probably be the better word to use here. I say this because without a human, being able to identify with a character’s situation – all meaning becomes lost…..

We all have emotions. We all have vices. We have all had to make not so great life choices.

In places when I felt, in the production, like I was being pulled into a real-life situation – as one would expect in a 100% authentic kitchen sink drama / naturalistic play. I DO MEAN NATURALISM AND NOT REALISM HERE.

Boom.

Lighting changed from soft blues to startling reds. These colors will all have a different meaning for the observer/ audience member /actor even. The subjective part of me was thrown back and made to rethink what I was seeing, question what I was, in fact, being led to believe.

Music – is another great technique that I love to use when I’ve written scripts.

Look at this random picture

NOW,

In my opinion, Physicality is an actor in the theater is so important.

Yes. Dialogue is needed but what characters don’t say and do on stage, is just as important and helps me makes connections in my mind and heart, when dialogue couldn’t.

There is a lot of physicality and communication interpreted in the characters devised movements in this production.

What is physical theater in drama?

A form of theatre which emphasizes the use of physical movement, as in dance and mime, for expression. Disciplines include children’s theatre, film, comedy, drama,physical theatre, dance, cabaret, visual art, performance poetry, music theatre, and the full scope of music genres.

I am reminded of the Frantic Assembly.

I loved the dance with the protagonist -Alexis- and the soldier( who turns out to be the seven deadly sins, final trump card) at making Alexis feel she should feel guilty for having had an Abortion.

She is faced with having to make a choice- to murder the concept of what we call life again.

The loose ends of the plot come together when she is faced with the idea that the soldier is her aborted son, or indeed could have been if he had lived.

Not presented as a failure.

Not weak but a Hero.

Yet,Flawed and subject to all the same emotions as any human and very much full of heart.

He too corrupted by emotions and experiences.

What we choose to give into and not into is a product of our emotions about where we are in a particular journey of our lives.

Is it better to feel Pride rather than Lust?

Is it something that needs a situational context?

Why are some feelings seen bad and others good?

We all have them. Good and bad feelings.

Fuck what the church says.

It is our fundamental right to feel.

What do we do with those feelings?

…well that is up for debate.

I feel this production was well executed because I can feel empathy for the ( antagonists) seven deadly sins themselves.

Excommunication.

Do not shun what you are afraid of understanding.

Do not stigmatize what is the most natural part of you.

What makes you – a human!

Embrace all your feelings -I believe that hiding our darker sides makes that part of us stronger and unbalanced.

Lessen the burden -be a whole. Be a rainbow spectrum of light.

There is more than Black and White.

Yin and Yang

Extract what you need in moderation.

Music I have been listening to while writing this. Shrug 7th Birthday Party Mix Tape By Marc Landish

Epic DJ-ing!

Playing now

OBLIGATORY NIGHT OUT SELFIE

Have a great weekend!

Lazily, a tigeress snores into her paws . If only retiring was as simple to rule her inner world.

Curled up in warmth after a stroll into the big wide world,then settle for a quinquennium pause.

Her heart beats.

Nationalists- not even patriots are exempt.

All want to play in their own chord, tighten the strings ,she keeps it together, to satisfy their crucified minds.

In a state of constant – motionless movement.

If not an act of physicality -drill cumbersomely inside her cranium and you will see chemicals and synapses – making up fresh bricks and mortar, to fit in with the latest homemade yeast infused hootchie.

Glance away now, for fear of pitying an evocative attempt to get a rise from it.

Secret plots to charge this queen with treason.

Where will she live?

Her throne burnt to the ground to make way for a newly elected dopamine and serotonin scrupulous , democratic union.

Flags of self-belief – burned infringed – protecting her staked land was all this monarch tried to take into hand.

Defamation – character assassination.

Cloaked – in darkness- rat scuttles past – no pause – it already knows this violated prisoner is barren.

Scars and welts – a confession is sought after by the cardinal living east of the castle manor.

Employed only to instill courage when the most powerful empire seized a chance to escape into heritic souls howling in the wind.

Faith and Hope – not draft an erratic, purple, incensed dogmatic pope .

Dire retribution -execute the one who claims this state is her very birthright.

Clubbed to her knees – she will crawl not humbly- you shall hear her plea.

She wants to make them a better nation.

It’s her biggest exclamation.

Out plotted by her very own court – bribed by cheap whores-given away by the roughness of their hands, dressed up as expert courtesans, who clearly have seen at least one day of sun.

Intoxicated by some amorphous potion.