Blog Archives

Strange Blood

Dad,

how do I  wish you a great day without addressing the past?

Memories are  usually a good place to start.

Let’s forget about the bad ones.

No room for improvement in a negative mind state.

You taught me how to fish.

That was cool because I actually caught a fish but I was not impressed when you threw him back into the ocean – he was too small to eat.

You taught me a valuable lesson:

Compassion and what is necessity.

giphy (5).gif

The night I was sat on the step, crying. Mom was going through a tough time. Nobody understood how ill she was and you sat next to me and begged me not to follow in my Mom footsteps. I would never live a life with joy.

I learnt that  enemies can want the same thing and can come from two completely different view points . Ma never wanted me to follow in her footsteps either.

giphy (6).gif

I remember the day I baked you a cake. You came over to Nan’s and you were sobbing. Great granddad was not well.

You taught me that there is a lot that goes inside a persons mind and just because they don’t express emotion all the time, it doesn’t mean they care any less.

giphy (8).gif

I remember trying to get to know each other in 1994. My holiday and first time back to South Africa in 6 years.

I sensed you were trying to talk . To break the ice. It is a pity my sister in her teens and  a little shit at the time and you had to act as the buffer.

I learnt that vulnerability doesn’t make you weak. I learned that jealousy is a wasted emotion. It makes us say ugly things.  I am only sad you didn’t try again to speak to me -one on one. 

giphy (9).gif

I remember on that same holiday we went on a safari. It was a treat and one the of the best days in of my life.

You taught me that you did indeed care about my happiness and you wanted to create happy memories.

giphy (10).gif

The truth is we are not close for so many reasons. I am so over blaming. It’s un productive and the truth is we do things that we think are the best for each moment we live. 

I understand this because I am a parent.

I know it is hard to instigate a conversation with some one you barely know.

I know you may have feelings about what you could or should have done differently. 

Let’s not get too hung up on what we could of done. 

Focus more on today and what we can do today.

Want to hear something funny?

I may not know you very well but I have kind of ended up getting married to a man whose birthday is two days apart from your own. I am actually marrying my Dad, in a crazy round a bout way.

giphy (11).gif

AWKWARDS!

Before I end this -I want to thank all those silly quizzes you do on Facebook. 

Who would think that I can learn so much about you based on a trivial quiz? 

We may not be close but if anything happened to you and I held you in my heart with resentment and bitterness, I would never forgive myself.

I do love you, Dad. 

There is some ethereal sense of commitment I have to you. I can’t give you up. I have tried but I won’t give up on you -ever.

I know my illness scares/ scared you. 

I am much more self aware these days. I don’t blame you , Dad. 

All I wish for is, to get to know you better. To sit down and have a chat, laugh and I want to look into your eyes and I want you to hug me and tell me you love me. 

I know you do but I want to feel you  see you and hear your voice. 

Have a great day , Dad -from the U.K. to S.A.

giphy (13)

HAPPY FATHERS DAY! 

No time for self-pity #SHOUTOUTS

“When in doubt. When I feel low and ready to back out.  It is time to stop feeling sorry for myself and start feeling grateful for all I have. “ DAISY

I have a new challenge I am working on for June. I am getting married in three weeks time and I have hardly wrote much about it.

All I can say is it is happening.

The best way to spend my time today is reading ‘Storm sister’ by Lucinda Riley- books always inspire.

Watching the second series ‘Orange is the New Black’  and as many documentaries about  species and evolution as I have time. I’m especially  excited for when Hollywood movie director and explorer,  James Cameron does eventually hit the bottom of the ocean and capture what is hidden down there. CHECK OUT WHAT HE HAS ACCOMPLISHED SO FAR HERE

The solutions to why volcano erupt and why we have natural disasters such as Tsunamis are hidden and to be found at the bottom of the Abyss.

I think the best way to get out of a self pity mood is to look out and not focus too much inwards.  An extra shout out for

Camellia’s Cottage Alabama Lifestyle   for reminding me about a song I love so much.

This is my favourite version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoJz2SANTyo

So I have the great pleasure of checking out all my new flowers /followers in the last week. Thank you and it’s time for a shout out.

SHOUT OUT  TIME!   

white_daisy_rustic_barn_wood_thank_you_note_card-ra7daa05fddd247d2ab6ed4d2fc03f1f4_xvua8_8byvr_324

Eat Bunnies

Tales from the Cabbage Patch -Because everyone wonders where they came fromTales from the Cabbage Patch -Because everyone wonders where they came from

Top cats on the web

MHAE MALDONADO THE BRAVE VULNERABLE MAJESTY

FREEING EXCALIBUR -He who holds the sword, owns my heart

DILKASH SHARARI – keep your secrets to yourself.If you can’t. So never expect the other one to do so

www.beat.company

Camellia’s Cottage Alabama Lifestyle

toofulltowrite (I’ve started so I’ll finish- well its not as if you had anything better to do, so let me entertain you.

at Milliways with a pen- the writer’s desk at the end of the universe

WELCOME TO OUR WORLD- An everything blog

WORD AND SILENCE POETRY & PROSE BY TIM MILLER

TheIntrovertedTalkative-AyomideOmole’s Blog

A Opinionated man- Jason @Harsh Reality

its_all_about_us -I’m not an anti-social. I’m a pro-solitude.

MSnubutterflies My Walk……….Living With MS

COMING OUT FROM THE DARK- -my second act

S A I N T S W E S T- Just my thoughts for all to behold

Le Amusant

SPLENDIPPITY -Stories about animals that have crossed my path

DECLARABLE & SERENE WORDS ARE MY PAINTINGS | POETRY & FICTION

EXPRESSIONS Sandra J. Jackson

Moody Much? Moody Much?

a cooking pot and twistedtales- Thoughts and Tales Etc..A Lifestyle Blog with a Zing.

Watching the Daisies Life Lessons on the Importance of Slow

Simpley Etta D.- INSPIRATION FOR THE HEART,MIND AND SOUL

CyberneticBlonde- Be kind to yourself 🌻

WALLPAPER TADKA-Photographs and wallpapers of different types of the nature and all aroundWALLPAPER TADKA-Photographs and wallpapers of different types of the nature and all around

The darkest fairytale

IFFYINK- words penned down with ever swinging mood…

Across The Ordinary- ASPIRING TO LIVE WHOLEHEARTEDLY ❤️

 

 

 

 

Awards- SHOUT OUT to new followers

THANK YOU!  for the Spirit animal blog award!

itsgoodtobecrazysometimes

Love this blog.

WHY?

Well we both have mental health issues and are not afraid to say it.She believes we are all unique and hates labels.

She is super quirky.

She started this blog because of the injustice she has experienced with the benefit system for those who are unwell.

RULES

Once you’re nominated add the photo to your blog.

  • Write a short description about yourself and what your blog means to you.
  • if you were an animal, which animal would you be? (No buzzfeed answers please).
  • Nominate 10 bloggers for this award.

A BIT ABOUT MOI

You can find out all about me in my ‘A DAISY IN THE WILLOWS WELCOME’. I started out this blog wanting to see if I could write and perhaps connect with people through my writing. So far I am succeeding.

I also wanted to express myself in a way that is authentic. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m pretty blunt and transparent.

A lot has changed since I started blogging in September 2015.

My biggest challenge with my blog is; the more involved I become volunteering with various mental health charities, is how  to include this aspect of my life in my blog – without breeching confidentiality and not offending people. I’m not 1o0% sure how this will play out but this is another goal of mine that I want to be successful in terms of  my blog.

If I was an animal…. today I would be the chameleon. I’m  good at adapting to new surroundings. I’m getting my 5 a day of insects( irritants) and consuming these pesty insects (or challenges in my life) and digesting them in a way that is good for my inner core.

Hope all you writers and bloggers appreciate this meme.

fbz_01c46aa933538b6ec31a079a0e55bccb

 

THESE 10 NOMINEES ARE MY NEW FLOWERS WHO HAVE RECENTLY STARTED FOLLOWING ME – THANK YOU 

  1. Spiritual mastery   with John Heckers
  2. La Audacia de Aquiles   – awesome blog for Greek Myth  fans. I am.
  3. Linda G. Hill – a life in progress
  4. TANYAS STYLE
  5. Be quiet Kate- the diary of a self-confessed millenial
  6. the naughty author -Be careful, or you might land up in my book.
  7. Hendrik Duvenage’s blog -Blogger . Author . Journalist . Thinker . Life Enthusiast.
  8. gainperspectiveblog-Hope in the goodness of Humanity. Search for: Search …
  9. www.beat.company
  10. That Shameless Hussy

45a0b022b6e1c1e5873f38c2227f84d7b12b78acb4868fa5b4b51c4b8f4a92fd

 

 

A very happy 365 days unbirthday to me

“All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.”  George Harrison

WHY I HAVE CHOSEN THIS QUOTE

To be my natural 1oo% transparent self. I do promise too much. I demand too much of myself. I get bummed out if I don’t do everything I set out in my head to achieve for the day.    . #FollowGreatFootsteps

Sound familiar?

Take yesterday as a fine example,

I’m up at 5 a.m. going through my emails , comments, start finding inspiration for the blog/s I want to write for the day. My hubby makes me a coffee every morning. I think he has a similar condition to people who have been kidknapped by weirdos annd develop  Stockholm syndrome, except  in our house it is called

OB-YQ538_isuper_G_20130823103802

He is a bit of a super star when it comes to little small gestures. My Bella Bee and and other non human child usually come bounding  into my bed at about 6-7 am.

Cuddle time and I have to listen to the diatribe of events that occurred in my daughters dream. Along with say the 5 or 6 other things that come out of her mouth which can seem like such a perfect and nonsensical thing at the same time.

She is the, Martin Luther King , of her generation

“Mamma?” 

“Yes, dear…”

” I have a dream……..”

I usually then do any challenges or whatever blogs I need to.  I then get ready for a good blog  catch up.

I’ve realised that saying yes to everything means I’m fucking knackered when I get home. I love volunteering. I had a blast at the training yesterday. It was intense( 10- 4 pm. )

We did a lot of practising how to facilitate in a support group group. I never realised how hard it is to hold the space, let the group lead and support each other, speak as little as possible , make sure the support group sticks to boundaries and their ground rules, time keeping and choosing what to disclose about myself.

We did a lot of ‘what you would do if? ‘ scenarios- where we were timed 30 seconds  to come up with an answer.

My head was blagged and  ready to implode by 3: 30 pm.

On the way home. Thoughts of going to put the heating on  and put my feet up, eat and chill enter my mind. It’s cloudy, raining and cold….. I’m going home to chill…

b9030c2a94bfa56a5e53f66527e0de1051a887cda125ff48a78eba2cef832d0f

erm, we are talking about me -Daisy.

I have a massive gym session to do.

There is no time to pause.

I’m at it like a boss.

Throwing my punches and my best  kick boxing moves  to the imaginary prick/opponent I am  uppper ‘hooking’and jabbing and crushing with my  awesome knee jump -like a ninjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I wish it were this easy

giphy.gif

 

 

These imaginary opponents   can take  on a human form or an animated form of

oh let me think now….

TALKING SCALES!

So hard core session is complete.

Steam is eking out of my pores.

I have a moment of panic that I might be one of those rare individuals you read about,in some obscure magazine,, who just spontaneously combust into flames.

I can see the headline:

‘Girl works out – with epic awesomeness and bursts into flames and then she arises from the ashes like a phoenix bird because she is awesome like that’

spontaneous_combustion.jpg

I decide that I’m being overly dramatic and then smell myself and think a quiet bath with a  face mask and a hair mask will be the Dogs bollocks- the best way to treat myself.

Erm……………………… I have a four year old who wants me to play princess Jasmine, Elsa, Raja and whoever else she can think of -all at the same time . Remember

ca63b958314dfa7878882905572dee82
… AND THAT IS WHY I AM SENDING MY LITTLE BELLA BEE TO AN ASYLUM BEFORE SHE DRIVE ME CRAZY TOO.  

Ooh and don’t forget she wants to help clean me.

Aaaaah how sweet.

More like, please piss off and give me time to myself. 😀 .

The last of the  bath  water remnants  swill down the plug hole and I look down at my hands –

shiiiiiiiiiiiiit , my nails are in a state .

I’m also thinking the blue colour totally out- rocks the orange I have on them.

 I then have to simultaneously dry hair an nails at the same time.

To say  I’m slightly talented is well a bit modest 😉 Ha ha!

56396164
WHAT CAN I SAY 😉

Ooooh. Tummy starts growling.

MUST.

GET.

FOOD. – THE MISSION BECOMES DAISY GET FOOD NOW OR I WILL TURN ON YOU AND EAT YOUR BODY ORGANS.

I’ve got way too much living and things to do for that to happen.

Get sat down in bed and I think of all the promises I made to catch up with y’all.

Before I can get any kind of decision made in my head.

It’s story time and it is not my turn to read 😦 very sad face- because Bella Bee’s reading can take  what seems a very long time.

reading-meme-2

I then get all sparked  up with my laptop fired up, I’m  under the duvets ready to enter the blogospheare. Cue – Epic music.

 

 

I must say these clean sheets are mighty comfy – only 7 pm .If I just close my eyes for a sec….

“Daisy wake up ,take your meds and brush your teeth it is half ten ” 

Yes my other half does say this to me.

My mind is scrambled. I have a bloody bloggging z-z challenge to do and I have to read over 200 posts of the people I follow.

No I am not going to cheat myself and just like them.

I am going to read every. single. one. Comment on every single one.

Two a.m. and I finally can hit the pillow almost guilt free:

I didn’t do my blog challenge

or my gratitude surprise challenge for my readers and peer followers

useless, take yourself out with the trash incompetent being.  

My thoughts are retired drill instructors. they paid a membership to lease out my mind and now that won’t fuck off  -pardon my sewerage mouth talk.

It is now 5:50 am and I am going to edit and polish off this post and hit the publish button -blast it into the blogoshphere.

Today I can imagine the set up being  similar.

I will not give up.

 

Can I just say coffee is a truly my best friend. None of the crap shit.

I mean proper coffee made from some little village in Columbia with it’s fair trade stamp on.

So, I’m a greedy  Bee with an itch ( bitch) . I want big slices of the cake. Hell, I want all the cake.

Sharing is something my four year old daughter has to do. This does  not  apply to me. I am an adult.

Okay, luckily my days are not always so full on – my mental health is important and it should be  for everyone.

This is not a long term solution to living for me. I have committed myself to various projects and (coughs) a wedding and all that. Nothing major….

Look just take care of yourselves, please. We all live busy lives and have our shit to deal with but be kind to yourself. 🙂

Happy mid week!

Want to  be a part #FollowGreatFootsteps?  You can do it! I will review your blog:) -check out the link above. It”s easy peasy.

 

 

Givers: the ones that taught us.

The globe finally stops spinning  and  tonight we are going to find a bit of global happiness in Vietnam.

SECRET TO HAPPINESS: Acknowledge your influences

TRADITION: Visiting teachers ( I would have balked at this concept a few years ago)

DATE: The third day of Tet/ Lunar ( New years for the Vietnamese that is celebrated January and February- a whole month of celebrating the new year!)

powerofwirelesseducation_thumb

Do you ever look around you and think

‘Well, gosh! How the hell did I get to this point in my life? ‘ – I do and try  imagine an image of a 34 year old woman with a finger stuck up her nose going ‘huh?’ at the same time.

I am sort of okay with where I am now but I am a mental sprinter. I want to do all the good stuff -rush past the learning and be at the top. To be more accurate I do enjoy learning . I love doing different training workshops and courses with mental health charities because I learn new skills and I can help others who are struggling.  I mean I want to start my Masters in Creative writing in October.  I know learning is a process but sometimes my mind gets carried away.

I was like that at school. The first teacher to ever make a positive influence over my attitude to learning was Mrs Hendricks. She was the first Indian teacher or any teacher that was not white to teach in my high school -way back ,2 years after  the apartheid era ended. He style of teaching and her passion made a huge impression on me. I suddenly loved Biology!  She was also the first teacher to read one of my first pieces of free style writing. My best friend at school told me to show it to Mrs Hendricks. She was crying saying how powerful my writing was. I looked at my friend in shock. How can what I write get a reaction like that?  Oddly, I never felt pushed to be creative in English lessons.

Can you remember your school days?

There must be someone that made an impression on you?  No, not that cute guy with all blonde curls and blue eyes and a cheeky smile. Maybe that teacher took an interest in you, made you feel special?  Maybe that teacher taught you some thing that went beyond a text book .

If you want to do some serious celebrating – new year style. Vietnam is the place to be.It usually occurs over three days and is kind of like a Thanksgiving and Christmas and New years all rolled into one.

Day one – it’s all about the family

Day two – time to roll in the friends

Now,

Day three is unique and I think it is pretty awesome. On this day the Vietnamese people go and visit their teachers.  They get presents and are highly respected members of the Vietnamese community. Old and new teachers are praised and acknowledged.

mmmh, I’m thinking a new career and life change on the cards….  I bet the teachers don’t on on strike in Vietnam.

Lessons-Learned

Project time- WAX ON WAX OFF ( a collective groan from the back of the virtual class room. I used to be a huge part of that collective groan too. Come on humour me a bit…. Yes?

YAY!

It’s simple

Acknowledge one person who you identify as a teacher in your life.  It can a be non school related person  of course.

Life+lesson_efe1bd_4107764

Put pen to paper or fingers ready to type about some of the things that come into your mind when you think about that person. Did they say anything important to you? Mrs Hendricks over in Biology told me to ‘never stop writing.

What was going on in your life then? I was on a bad path – getting into drugs and hating my body.

What would you say to them now? I wish I had asked Mrs Hendricks about bmi and about what kind of havoc messing with pills and laxatives and erratic eating habits and starvation diets would have on me in my future  ( the me today)

Is there any kind of insight into the path you are on now? Funnily enough, I’m going through the training process to open up a peer- led Eating disorder recovery and support group where I live.

MESSAGE: It’s good to be a giver in life. You never know what you are going to ‘take’ from the experience away with you.

(IMAGES SOURCED FROM GOOGLE IMAGES)

To be honest….

Been puffing away at my banana flavoured E vape these past couple of days. I’ve hit a lull in blogging. Since Sept 2015. I have not had one day I didn’t have something to post about.Now I am starting to doubt my content. Too long ? too short? boring? not enough flowery words?

NO MORE DOUBTING!

I’m not trying to make money out of blogging. Some people do. I started blogging to get my writing out there and see what people thought. I now have followers following my blog! – none of who were friends to begin with or family.I feel like I am blessed.  At first,I was upset that the people in my life didn’t didn’t support me. Then again why should they? If I support them in their projects then that is my choice and they too have choice. I’ve found some amazing bloggers on reader.

I am casting my net a bit wider now and have jumped into a bigger pool of water –STUMBLE UPON IT. Anyone want to join me?  There are so many bloggers on the  word reader feed that need a bigger platform. Me included. New challenges urge me to go on. I love being able to express myself in a way that doesn’t mean I  have be locked behind bars. I’m only human and I have discovered I need to grow as a writer and I want others to reciprocate. I want people to get my style.

Yes, I write  for myself and I have come a long way without using all the html tricks. I don’t know how to use. I put in the time to read peoples posts about whatever shit is going on. I have kind of got to the point where I need to decide whether I continue to support those who are unable to reach back. I comment a  lot on peoples posts and I just get a like. Is thatt I  am at that point where I feel I  could have said ‘You are a knobhead’ and still got a thumbs up like. NOT ALL BLOGGERS ARE LIKE THIS.

So I  am casting my net to wider parts of the blogo sphere. I will still be on word reader reading the posts I truly get. There are a few posts/blogs I don’t get and I can’t try and get all of you like I have been doing. I can’t.  This is the next bold step in blogging for me.

I’ve always been truthful and I won’t change speaking my mind- blunt and to the point.

So here is to breaking free from the lull and trying something new. We need change otherwise nothing will every change and we won’t move forward. I don’t need a google image quote to make my point. At least I don’t think I do.

(image is source from Google pics)

THANK YOU!

Hi all,

I started blogging  in September 2015. I had been putting off doing it for far too long. People won’t get me, my writing will be rubbish. You know how those garbage- can thoughts can infect the mind sooner,rather than later. 

It’s a big day for me. So I am going to pat myself on the back and say ‘well done- keep persevering’

I follow some incredibly diverse blogs but also many blogs about people with mental health issues. This subject is close to my heart and in my head -sometimes they are  loud and sometime  a little  murmur is all I hear.

 

I don’t want to go on too much but getting 100 word press followers is an epic milestone for me.thank-you-for-one-hundred-followers.png  I read your blogs and am blown  away by your talent and imaginations and your realities and how you put all this into words. I would like to add that none of my friends or family have supported me and that is what makes this achievement so valuable. I can connect with people and I’m good enough. 

So , let’s all raise a glass of whatever your favourite tipple is and cheers to you all. Cheers-GIF.gif