I’ve been a bit of a mess – mood-wise – this last month. I know I am the only person who can change this.
So time to move forward and look to the future.
THANK YOU Morgan @ UNIQUELOVEHARMONEY for this awesome tag. I love your heart and spirit. You write straight from the heart and you are just a wonderful spirit I have connected within the Word Press community. I have been saving it for a day like today. When I need to give myself a kick up the backside.
SIMPLE HAPPY RULES
1. Name 5 things that make you happy
2. Name 5 songs that make you happy
3. Nominate 5 bloggers to continue the tag
DAISY IS HAPPY BECAUSE:
I‘m co-producing and co-facilitating my first Depression and Anxiety workshop for Parents, in Boothtown, U.K., with Healthy Minds tomorrow 27/06. I did most of the groundwork before the wedding and I can’t wait to hook up and finalise details and then roll on Wednesday and BOOM! We get to do something creative and hopefully helpful.
I have officially been given the go-ahead to do the 5 days 9-5 pm WRAP Facilitator training in Mirfield, in September with Hope charity. I have done this 12-week course myself and I now get a chance to turn other people onto the power of WRAP.
WRAP PROMO VIDEO
I still have the motivation to keep fit and do exercise. I had a really good one-hour session this morning and my mood has lifted a little bit more.
I’m moving to France in the next two years. A new start. I proud to be a part of the EU. I spent two days crying after the result. I am a humanist. I hate manipulation of the working class people and then them being told that they exercised their democratic right to vote. I love the French public because they give their government hell. The public demand to have their voices heard and I want to live in a place where my voice is truly heard and actioned
Finally, I am married. I have a few more pictures from the day that just makes me smile every time I look at them. The people who were there made it even more epic!
Here’s what is getting me to smile:
FIVE SONGS THAT MAKE DAISY HAPPY
THE SONG I DEDICATED TO MY GAZ AND OUR FIRST AND ONLY WEDDING DANCE
EMPOWERING AND GODDAMN BOLD!
MY FUCK EVERYTHING SONG
JUST A GREAT TUNE
LOVE SNOOP – YEAH, IT’S SEXIST BUT I HAVE GOT A SENSE OF HUMOUR. – I’M A SUCKER FOR A DUDE WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH … SHOOT ME!
I could go on all day with music….
Oh okay – One more
5 BLOGS THAT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME SMILE – TAG YOU ARE IT!
- QUEEN BEE – I SING THE BODY ELECTRIC– a great friend
- SIMPLY ETTA D.– someone who motivates me
- LINDA G. HILL -Always inspires me to write
- CHARLIE ZERO – The sickest poet I know. The biggest heart too x
- Send Sunshine -Again she never fails to lift my spirits
- EVERYONE ELSE I FOLLOW AND AM YET TO!
I’ve finally received my results for my 1st year, doing my Masters, in Creative writing.
PASS-with merit. I officially can use more random letters after my name — ha ha!
I am now in possession of a post-graduate certificate in the Arts and Humanities!
How’s this going to help me with what I won’t do?
I have a dream.
I do. 😀
One of my goals is to move back to France. They love people with diplomas. I hope to get a well paid job there. I need to book a trip to The French embassy later on this year. My husband has decided he is going to take on my surname and become a French national. He’s English!
He’s not only English, he is Northern, from West Yorkshire.
I feel so uneasy about my family not having a passport. My entire life, It was drummed into me to always have my passport (in date)in case, we moved countries.
Which we did- a lot!
Moving on . ( pun unintentionally intended :D)
What’s happening in my life?
Loads of shit- ha ha! as usual.
I’m doing better – I keep making a come back. Oh, life – you little tease!
Dare me to live.
Dare me to succeed!
MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE
Yeah, it’s been.
up and down,
up again ,
very up –
not quite sure
aargh why did that and that and that and ..
did I do that?
Those kind of moments, really.
Surely someone can relate?
Not happy about a medication increase in my anti depressant.
I don’t of any person who is on (high/ highest legal doses) of
Two anti psychotics
Two anti anxiety tablets,
and sleeping medication.
I know my health posse want the best for me.
I don’t bullshit them.
I tell if I’ve been using shit coping mechanisms, good ones. Thoughts ,feelings…
I made my psychiatrist laugh.
He offered me psychology therapy — again .
I was like:
‘Look Dr J, seriously every time I sign up to a pyschologist , they leave!’
All my psychologists have left me half way through doing whatever new pycho babble, current trend treatment , is used, to deal with folk such as myself.
One dude, fell asleep in a couple of our sessions.
So, I was like
‘ Listen, I know how to use CBT/DBT, I know how to communicate and talk. I know what keeps me well . I just want a cure’
Another laugh escapes from Dr J.
He is a legend.
A legend ? yes, but not a wizard 😦
He totally gets me and I feel I have a choice in medication changes etc..
I’ve asked to come off one of my meds because I don’t see the point of being on it. It hasn’t helped me.
These meds have affected my memory. I’m terrified of getting Dementia. I’ve been on (legal) tablets since I was 13/14 and I’ve never been off medication.
Talking about memory.
I’m using my creative outlets to start getting into the open mic poetry scene .
I love performing but my memory is really rubbish. I’m going to brave it by doing more live poetry next week. I’m excited. Nervous. It’s all good.
I have my final year of my MA to keep me — super occupied. There is a lot of work to do. For part of my thesis ( check me out)
I’m thinking of using my blog to interview creative folk who live in my community to talk about, their work, (durr!) Creativity and their mental health. My photographer mate is on board to take pictures. Some people have shown interest — yeah!
My heads occupied which is good.
How will doing this help me with my thesis and final work?
Well, I am going to use this year of discovery and research on the link between mental health and creativity as an alternative form of therapy to cope with life’s unpredictable moments.
Then I will have loads of inspiration to write a film script (120 minutes) on a character ,who , is thrown back into society after a long stint in mental /prison institutions , and who is looking to find him/herself and another way of being and expressing him/herself positively, in society.
The opening scene will kind of look like this
I have an ending – (a bit abstract at the moment) – saying there words:
‘I look around for the first time with clarity. And see I’m exactly where I need to be. Around the misfits. The beautiful misfits just like me.’
DAISY’S UN NAMED CHARACTER
It’s all early days and I still have 4 scripts to write, a critique and a character analysis on a famous playwright to do before the final chapter.
All in all. I’m alive, optimistic-ish, full of emotion, drive, passion , a pain in the ass but just doing my thing.
All terribly boring really… 😀
So, I am back!
I can’t commit daily to blogging but I have joined a group on Facebook.
Shout out to Gary @ fiction is food for adding me.
It’s a website for us!
I’m a newbie, its good be around other bloggers again. I’m hoping it will keep me off Facebook and keep me connecting with people like yourself. People who use their time more productively. Doh, oh the irony.
One rant before I go : I wish people would stop leaving public posts about my appearance on my Facebook.
If you ever happen to read this
I know you are having a shit time dealing with your own weight issues. I’m well aware of mine. Please take a look at yourself. Look after yourself first. If you don’t – FUCK OFF!
That is a wrap. I know. Hilarious! ha ha!
Thank you so much for reading
Time to step out and live real life..
Catch up soon!
What’s everyone else doing with life? Blogging?
I’m genuinely curious to know.
There are no cries for help. There a reason why we act and do and feel what do. TALK
Daisies grow wild as do I . Out of cat lives I’m on my 17 th life so far and I want stop the self shaming & self loathing. I couldn’t publish this properly the other day. I was the HDC UNIT for 7 nights In a coma for trying to end my life ( again) could of ended up dead . Instead I woke up 7 days later with temporary asthmatic induced psychosis from 11-18 may and from 19 May day spent 7days in day in ICU so far. Finally, I can say, Thank every one for their support.My mom & my husband and close mates are have been my rock.I guess end u can get knocked down by the proverbial Spanish bull unless shoot the poor bugger🌈🐝🐐🌻😀🌼🌼🌼🚸🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼♏🌼
He’s not dead yet .OLEA and upwards. Love & bigs kisses to all my fam mates far & near and those not on here 3♏🔝
Daisies grow wild i & so do I . Mental heal matters to Everyone. It’s a big issue cos we all have mental health and we have pyschical health
There are no cries for help. There a reason
why we act and do and feel what do. TALK
I hope some of you have been able to put down some of the things that make you happy and keep you well and in a good place- mentally and healthily. To find out how to prepare your own ‘wellness toolbox then please click on this link. In the video, I refer to letting me or another blogger challenge you to do something good for yourself.
This weeks session we had a guest speaker who originally did the WRAP course 5 years ago and still credits her wellbeing to this plan. What I did today was think about how I FEEL when I am well. What I DO when I am well ie; how I behave. I realise for some people this will be a hard thing to try and think about especially if a person has been unwell or has a complicated situation that needs addressing. You don’t need to make a huge list.
If you put one thing down then that is cool. Be as simple or creative as you want. The whole point is to get it down in a place that you can access it easily. One reason to get this out your head and crystallised is to say for example you are having the worst day imaginable and all you can think about is how shit you are and how you have nothing going. Get this piece of paper out to remind yourself that what you may be thinking at a stressful time in your life is not the truth. Get a piece of paper or type in WORD these headings:
WHAT I AM LIKE WHEN I AM WELL.
HOW I FEEL:
WHAT I DO:
HOW OTHER PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE ME (I found this the hardest of the 3 to do but as I say in my video update, once you have done this exercise ask someone who knows you well how they would describe you when you are well. This is a powerful reinforcer of who you are as a person especially when you need a boost and a remind
EXAMPLES OF HOW I FEEL WHEN I AM WELL
I write these words
Green grass beneath my feet
I have a sacred homer, a babe too
Society says I’m now complete.
of a balalaika, playing kind
Dismiss ice blocks jutting out
Clearly on the rocks.
with a head full of the sublime.
Not one of us can stand in all perpetuity in the sun
Science adds a rationale to inform those lacking in sense
To subtract those people who we think revolve around our orbit.
If you recognise that instinct.
If it faintly find a pulse of love
Don’t ignore this sign preordained from the unseen above.
Spend 10 million ways to capture each moment of mirth spent in your star crossed lover’s finite existence.
Think not too far in the distant
Future & imagination fuels to the furies ears echoing our doubts.
Even palm readers learn to stay away from an answer to every Question’s insistence.
If there was a moral estimation to impart from this musing
Seek out existential ideas to rekindle the hearth of hearts
Two much history already been written.
True love is a conundrum of confusing
Too much future mapping unites
soul mates in need of refusing.
Eradicate over analysing
To evade living in a nebulous cloud of doubt.
These words I write
Green grass beneath my feet.
The end doesn’t rhyme
Mirrors reflecting the next steps
Dare to take a step
No easy feat.
(Beneath my feet- stream of consciousness writing)