Blog Archives

TRIGGERS AND ACTION PLANNING

This is the week everything has started to come together for me and I 100% feel I actually have been doing something that will help me in so many different situations in my life. Yet again I am so grateful to have been given this ‘gift’

Following on from identifying triggers’. Today we looked at a specific example of a trigger and we started looking at how we could get an  Action plan together of how we would deal with this trigger. Remember that triggers can affect anyone/multiple senses- sight, smell, taste, touch, sound. We are all human and flawed.

Time to allow me to be vulnerable to demonstrate the power of our thoughts.

There is a lot of stuff in our world that we can’t control: how other people behave or certain events that may happen. What a person can do is to decide how he/she will respond to the triggers. I say respond because it implies some thought behind it. As humans, we do have the tendency to react to uncomfortable people and situations and events which is more impulsive.

Here is a vast list of triggers that can tip a person into feeling like crap. There is a lot on this list that I would never have thought of as a trigger, so it is worth having a look. Below this list is a brief look at how a person can Action plan. The whole point of an Action plan is to keep you from getting unwell or feeling worse. What’s the saying? ‘Hindsight is a bitch’.  – there’s a few quotes like this. Well, it doesn’t have to be any more because we have got a plan. Okay, so today I ‘dug’ real deep and I exposed a huge fear/trigger for me. Before we get going, one of the group co-facilitators explained a vivid metaphor/analogy of what is likely to happen if we ignore our triggers.

Referring back to the butterfly metaphor I spoke of on my Action planning, Unfortunately, I  couldn’t come across the exact version our group facilitator told us today. However, I am not one to give up so easily and I have found something just as good that explains the concept in the same kind of context- i.e. don’t ignore and hide away from life events and how you respond to them. Respond to them in a way that empowers you!  This is the gem I found;

Imagine two caterpillars looking on As a beautiful butterfly floats on by

One turns saying after it is gone,“Not ever me as a butterfly that high!”Push away Resistance and be open for Change.

STOP and be more than just a caterpillar, ho-hum. Start by envisioning ideas beyond your range gain The Answer to what you can become.

As with the Caterpillar, it could be a gooey mess But you’ll improve and gain self-esteem, for sure Change is about letting go, trusting the process

Of becoming more than you are with things you were. The caterpillar was quite resistant and content; Causing him to ignore what the change involved. He thought his answer would stop the event–His Mother is a moth—his problem was solved!

Can we all learn from this? What can we try? Fight it as we might, Change will come our wayThe caterpillar’s colours are in and on the butterflyWe, too, can transform with our colours still in play

Source: Teaching the Caterpillar to Fly – A poem about a Work in Progress | Performance Management Company Blog

ADDITIONAL TRIGGERS LIST

  • TO IMPRESS A PARTNER
  • SITUATION WITH A ‘FRIEND’ WHO HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON ME
  • BEING STEREOTYPED/ PUT IN A ‘BOX’
  • BEING JUDGED AND HOW A PERSON RESPONDS. I TEND TO CATASTROPHIZE.
  • SAYING NO
  • CAR RAGE/ISSUES –SOMEONE PARKING IN A DISABLED SPACE AND WHO IS NOT DISABLED
  • PARTNERS MOOD SWINGS
  • ABSTAINING FROM ALCOHOL OR DRUGS
  • INTIMACY WITH A PARTNER
  • BEING OVER-TIRED
  • TRAUMATIC NEWS-HIGH EXPRESSED EMOTION– POSSIBLY FROM FAMILY MEMBERS
  • TRAVELLING TO AN UNFAMILIAR PLACE/ABROAD/DELAYS
  • EX-WIFE/HUSBAND CONFRONTATION IN RELATION TO CHILDREN
  • PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN
  • FAMILY DYNAMICS INCLUDING THOSE WITH CHILDREN INVOLVED
  • TRYING
  • SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ALONE
  • FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
  • BENEFITS /SOCIAL SECURITY BEING QUESTIONED OR DENIED

so once you have identified all your triggers, we need to do something positive with it, right? What you need is a plan to stop your triggers having too much power over you and your feelings. It is about stripping these triggers down-  some of you who have come across CBT and DBT will be familiar with this way of action planning but this is the more awesome way of doing it. TRUST ME!

This is my moment. Here is where I make myself vulnerable to demonstrate that this plan can work for you if you put in the work.  From  the above list, the trigger that holds so much power over me is:

BEING JUDGED AND HOW I  RESPOND. I TEND TO CATASTROPHIZE EVERYTHING RELATED TO MY TEETH.

What is going on in my head? what am I thinking? PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT MY TEETH, IAM GOING TO FAIL, I AM GOING TO BLOW MY ONE CHANCE TO SUCCEED. I CAN’T COPE. I’m SCARED MY THOUGHTS WILL STOP AND I WILL FORGET WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS PERSON/SITUATION.

I can see that this is all negative chatter. I want it to stop so I need to think really hard about how I am going to deal with these thoughts when they arise. It was a really tough thing for me to do. Brainstorm ways that I can help myself? What? Never!  But I forced my self to think. I went back all the way to week two. I have a wellness toolbox- link. The problem with this specific trigger is that it catches me off guard when I’m already in the thick of it. Part of my plan needs to address this and I do. 

Before I can do this I need to find a way to get into a zone of thinking that quietens down the negative thoughts. 

HERE IS MY ACTION PLAN
  1. I CAN TAKE ‘MY THOUGHTS TO COURT’ –  The link for this is at the end of my list.
  2. I CAN SIT WITH THE FEELINGS UNTIL THEY PASS- A TOUGH ONE FOR ME TO DO
  3. I CAN MAKE A PROS AND CONS LIST OF ALL THE THINGS I WILL GET OUT OF ME NOT OVERTHINKING AND JUDGING MY APPEARANCE OR WHAT I THINK ALL PEOPLE ARE THINKING. I’m NOT A MIND READER BUT I TEND TO THINK I AM IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION
  4. I CAN USE WISE MIND/ PRACTICE MINDFULNESS – SORRY ABOUT ALL THE JARGON -IF YOU WANT TO EXPLORE DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES THEN DO. IF YOU DON’T -THEN DON’T  –  LINK – the link can be found at the end of this list.
  5. MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE ONE IS WHEN I AM ALREADY IN THAT SITUATION WITH A PERSON AND THE THOUGHT TAKES OVER MY MIND I FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH SAYING: SORRY, IF I APPEAR TO BE ACTING STRANGELY ( SOMETIMES I’M NOT BOTHERED BY MY TEETH) I HAVE A FEW ISSUES WITH MY TEETH’.  I BELIEVE THIS IS SUCH A POWERFUL TECHNIQUE AND A BRAVE ONE BECAUSE I LAY IT OUT AND I VERBALISE IT AND THEN THE THOUGHT IS OUT OF MY MIND. I HAVE MADE THE PERSON AWARE OF WHAT IS MAKING ME NOT ENGAGE LIKE I USUALLY DO AND THE POWER COMES BACK TO ME. I HAVE MORE SPACE TO THINK AND TALK ABOUT WHATEVER IT IS THAT I WANT TO REALLY TALK ABOUT. 

TAKE MY THOUGHTS TO COURT LINK -If you would like me to do an example please let me know. It can be one of your triggers or one on the lists.

IF YOU ARE RUSHED FOR TIME THIS YOUTUBE CLICK IS PRETTY COOL. IT IS AN ORIGINAL TAKE ON EXPLAIN WISE-MIND- you can access it anywhere- in your car wherever and listen to it. I love it! 

CLICK ON THIS WISE-MIND LINK– I like it because I find it helps me understand the wise mind – I find a mix of images and dialogue easier to understand.

WRAP_ When things are at breaking point

Okay, so if you have been creating your WRAP  from week one. YAY! what a journey it has been, hasn’t it? And for those who haven’t you can always CLICK ON THIS LINK and see how you too can start your very own Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP).

Here is a clip describing a bit of week 10 When things are breaking down

Week 10  -down. WOW! two weeks and my three-month’ gift’ is coming to an end. I will save my personal thoughts and other group members thoughts on WRAP in week 12. I just want to point out that I did not think I would get much out of this but I can promise you I have learned so much about myself, how I tick, what helps me, what doesn’t help me and loads of empowering self-help techniques. WRAP is free. It was given to me as a ‘gift’ and I give it to you as a ‘gift’. No extras. No-fuss!

This weeks session focused on when you have ignored or not seen the trigger or Early warning signs and you can feel yourself slipping into meltdown, the plan to get that job is not going as it should, there have been delays in moving to where you are moving too. Your relationship is at breaking point, you can find no relief for your chronic pain if you have MS or Cancer even, but there is still a chance that you can pull yourself back and re-own your yourself.

Here is my breakdown list of signs and symptoms I feel when I start to feel like everything has turned to jelly. The stability is just that little bit further out of reach.  My list is very focused on Eating disorders because this is where my mind is at but I am fighting to regain my control. It is my responsibility to stay well. I can do this with WRAP.

WHEN THINGS ARE BREAKING DOWN

  • weigh myself obsessively
  • take more photographs of myself to compare them to what I think I see in the mirror
  • My perception of my body is split and fractured. I am unable to focus on my body as a whole entity
  • Panic attacks
  • Don’t want to or I am feel unable to communicate
  • Seriously thinking or actively starting to cut down on fluids and food intake
  • I refuse to try on clothes that I didn’t wear when I was at a body weight I deemed acceptable
  •  I will push myself to go 24 hours 7 until I collapse
  • I don’t want to g out
  • I want to or stop taking my medication to get my Bipolar highs
  • withhold love and affection -I don’t feel worthy of the two.
  • Lose my sense of humour
  • all seems doom and gloom
  • feel that everyone hates me or has a problem with me
  • Using degrading language on myself eg. I’m fat, I’m stupid. -all un helpful thoughts and mantras
  • I feel I am an empty vessel -no personality a loss of identity
  • I’m selfish and refuse or can’t look at the world around me and what is happening outside of my illness
  • I think about escaping- or over dosing on my prescription medication or act on it
  • Short tempered
  • Angry at myself
  • Depressed
  • Anxious
  • It becomes harder to look after myself. It becomes harder to look after my daughter
  • Sleep for days at a time or not sleep for days at a time
  • buy exercise energy enhanced pills on line
  •  over exercise for over three hours with no breaks
  • Indecisive- small choices are hard to make
  • feel disconnected to reality. I can reinforce this buy not wearing my glasses or contact lenses.
  • Spend less time with my daughter. I don’t want her to pick up on my emotions and for her to see me in a ‘weak’ role

That is my list. It is a tough list to do but if you are thorough and honest with yourself then we can take all these symptoms and experiences and start an Action Plan. All is not lost but it feels pretty close to lost.

You need to start brainstorming what you can or will try to do to get you back on an even keel. 

Create an Action plan 

Mine is:

call my C.P.N.  or my psychiatrist

Speak to someone I can trust- use my circle of protection. I have a select group of people I have entrusted into my personal space to help me when I I feel like things are breaking down

I can  look at my maintenance tools from week two and three and try see if I can reign things in a bit

look at the different uniqueness I have learned eg. the art of moment therapy, mindfulness, take my thoughts to caught, wise mind 

( you can always add more to your list as and when something you think will help you stay away from completely  breaking down.

 

That’s it for this week.

Be kind to yourself .Give yourself an affirmation to say for the week, do something for you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How can we help you?

How can we help you? You are loved.

My husband

I’m going to the source of my labelled diagnoses to find a way to answer this question.

Not to look for a reason to blame why I am like  I am, but so I can ask the right questions to help myself get better.

How can we help you?

Okay. The brain goes dead. How I help myself?

Set small goals for the bigger goals  I want to achieve?

What do I want to achieve?

  • A new carpet.

  • I want to clean the blinds,

  • I want to go through my drawers and  Bee’s drawers to organise our space better.

  • We need a new cupboard.

  • I want to get in the festive spirit.

  • Bring the big T.V.  downstairs.

  • I’m worried about Tatiana’s  ( my cat’s) cough.

  • I don’t want to be a FUCK UP!
  • I need to connect more with my mom and family.

 

All achievable unless its a “bad” day.

Write a list to Santa?  ( my inner Santa)

Being self-destructive is tough (sarcasm & truth).

Not as tough as being an 8-year-old child who doesn’t understand why her mother pushes her away. She is also scared to make her cry or hurt my feelings.

 Not as tough as having an endoscopy and no sedation. Having people talk about going for a pint after work while they look at your bowel.

Not as tough as being alone, having a panic attack & waking up in a hospital alone at 87.

I’m so quick to forget about the mermaids tail & a dog that can do anything ticking off Santa’s Christmas list.

I’m so quick to dismiss time.

Or is that just me looking up my own anus again?

Fluent in assholism

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How can I save my relationships before its too late?

Am I going through the motions as my husband asked?

A firm NO  takes up all the room in my cognitive region.

Before I answer I think again about if I’m just going through the motions…

Today I am going to look up the definition of  ‘going through the motions

PHRASE

If you say that someone is going through the motions, you think they are only saying or doing something because it is expected of them without being interested, enthusiastic, or sympathetic.

Well, of course, I am going through the motions. That is part of the problem.

Get up, eat, clean, sleep, fill my day.

It’s not because I don’t care. I don’t think about the consequences or I forget the pain associated with the consequences.  Or I think about how to get away from feeling a failure in the now.

Note to self: Don’t do things that will make you feel shit about yourself

It’s not that hard to do, Is it?

Maybe I hesitated before answering my husband because I asked myself if the way I am and response makes me a narcissist.

Well, of course, I am. I have spent many years trying to look good, be the thinnest, the most pretty the cleverest etc…

I know I am not & will never be all the above-mentioned thoughts.

What did that mean for me as an adult with Chronic Anorexia?

I don’t take millions of pictures of myself and think I’m better than other people. When I have judged others I try to look at the shitty things I have done or said in my life to humble myself… I am demanding. I can be selfish. I don’t think I am the best. I want to be the best I can be.

Do I live in a fantasy world?

I have done. I do live in a world where I am the object of desire/ importance to get away from who I see in the mirror, who I feel I have become measured by what I have achieved psychically/emotionally/materially. I use sleep as a defence mechanism to not have to deal with the person I am today. My perception of me.

I know what is real and isn’t unless my thoughts about weight and shame invade my inner world.

I have to wake up from my slumber eventually.  Then I convince myself that the only thing that will make me good & empowered is by proving to people I have the money to buy shit that isn’t worth it.

I put a value on what I pay for & how I want it to be packaged.

I don’t feel I need constant praise from others to keep my ego in check. I do feel I need to give myself praise and try & love myself so that I can come across as a person with feelings, warmth & love.

I do struggle to show my emotions. Perhaps its the way my face moves, or because I don’t lie about how I feel or because I’m shit at pretending to be over the moon about something when I am feeling anything but amazing.

When I’m in a toxic phase I guess I do feel that the world should stop for me. It’s unrealistic to think that the world does. I have to check myself. I need to live more outside of my head than in it.

 

I don’t try to exploit people maliciously for my own gain without feeling shame nor the ability to empathise.  I know how manipulative I can be & I have to check myself a lot to try & not be too manipulative. I do sometimes forget how it must feel like to another person to be taken advantage of.

I don’t think I am a person who enjoys belittling others to prop up my own ego. I hate gossip, I can use patronising language & behaviour if I feel threatened. I don’t enjoy making others feel less than I feel.

I want people to be happy & I want people to know that I can be a source of happiness too.

Maybe I am going through the motions but we all do!

If I said: yes, I’m going through the motions

then that would mean that I am a narcissist!

And according to Google: Narcissists can’t love their own children!

What?

I already feel I lack traits that a normal mother gives her child.

Or because of my eating disorder, I have traits of a “vulnerable” narcissist.

If I look indifferent I am also afraid of being abandoned so I try to prepare myself for that moment.

Most of my relationships are unstable -with my mom. daughter partners etc… I can go from having a high opinion of myself to having zero worth in myself in a matter of hours.

I do need to work on my self-image & habits to self-harm.

I have many diagnoses -I need to use what I know about myself to make a positive change.

I want my daughter to love me in 20 years time.

I’m not a child any longer. I want to be better than I am now.

 

WRAP is it for you?

I have been quiet on the WRAP  front – wellness recovery action plan. Only for the reason, I knew this testimonial video would be available for YOU and others who want to take their life in their hands and have a plan for if it all goes down the toilet.


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/153148446″>WRAP – Experiences, Benefits and Rewards</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/janeyoung”>Jane Young @ earth</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

Anyway, here it is. I think it will have more of a powerful effect on those of you who do decide to watch it. Instead of me waffling about it over 12 weeks on camera. If you want to to do WRAP and are not in a physical place close to where I live. You can still do it via my WRAP page. No costs – for free.  Or you can go to the founder of  WRAP-Mary Ellan Copeland‘s website and pay for the various material (if it is not free) that can be found on this website. It all about you. It is all about what you want to get out of it.
I have found out so much about myself and what I am like, what I enjoy, what makes me happy, what keeps me well, what works, what doesn’t work, what I want people in my life to do if I have a meltdown.

WRAP- Identifying your Triggers

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This week we looked at identifying triggers that can make a person feel a variety of unhelpful emotions such as anxiety, guilt, anger, shame. Triggers need to be identified and not ignored, especially if they cause mental anguish or distress that affects your everyday life,  how you treat yourself and what you do with your thoughts and emotions.

Today’s group was rather enlightening because most of the triggers each of us identified, all seemed to be tied up with judgement and criticisms of what we think a person thinks of us or what we think they expect from us. This could be good or not so good behaviour. We also discussed different self help calming techniques. One particular technique that resonated with me was and I quote ‘to consider the value of what is being said (about you or to you). An example of how this technique works in everyday life:

There may be someone or many people who trigger unhealthy emotions and thoughts in you.If you prepare yourself and tell yourself ‘you are a good enough person’ or anything else that is a positive affirmation about yourself. You can then pre-empt what you think others expect from or think of you, in whatever situation that causes you distress. When you are confronted in a situation with a particular person then you can automatically  ‘reduce the value of someone else perspective’ because you have already assessed the situation and you already know your own worth and who you are and it gives the power back to you. Your thoughts are then based on fact. Facts that can be verified by you. I think this is a great reverse psychology technique and I will certainly be using it myself.

 

Another great technique someone brought to the group is something called  ‘BRAIN GYM’ click on this link  – for the science behind it. In simple terms, the mind and body are intimately connected and when the body and mind are in harmony -studies indicate we as people are more healthy. Certain physical activities can help reduce certain emotions or increase more positive aspects like creativity.

 

An example.

This is the exercise I  did in the group today and (tried to ) re-enact in this video clip

CROSS-CRAWL: Standing up, “march” in place, alternately touching each hand to the opposite knee.Continue during the course of four to eight complete, relaxed breaths.**  This exercise is wonderful for improving reading, listening, writing and memory.  It co-ordinates the whole brain There so many simple exercises to help with a range of mindsets and feelings. I would encourage anybody and everybody to check out the blog link below

Source: Brain gym – simple exercises for a better mind and body | Jane Alexander

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have put down a list of my triggers and I invite you to do the same and next week we can look at action plans. I have a long list -how complexed am I !? Haha.

TRIGGERS

 

WRAP – Life and Values

Another Wednesday already! 4 weeks down and 8 to go.  Today’s session was to focus on ‘the homework’ I was given last week- I’m a naughty student and didn’t do mine for various reasons. Anyway , the most important thing is we all did it as a group today. YAY!
So, if you are ready type or write this heading down
  • WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE AND GIVES IT VALUE

Before I  list mine -publicly -I would like to remind you that these are personal to you and you may not want to share them and that is cool. The point of this exercise is to get your thoughts focused on what matters to you. What makes you sit up and go ‘I can go on for another day’.

What gives you that sense of purpose?

Again these exercises may appear elementary but once you have it in a form you can read it gives a more concrete meaning to what makes you feel alive in this world. This list should be in a place you can access it. I laminated mine and I  also have it on my blog. I know when I feel like shit and can’t make sense of my purpose in life, or I sense I am losing my way in life. I can get my list out

 and go through it to remind me what matters when I am well and in a good place. 

Right, so here is a list of mine;

  • My Family
  • the need to feel on top of things
  • finances in order
  • organising my wedding (short term goal)
  • affectionate and love hugs
  • Writing
  • Learning new things
  • My mental well-being
  • Maintaining a BMI that is safe and that I can live with the least amount of risk of relapsing
  • Feeling needed and important to others
  • Gaining and having peoples respect (while maintaining my own self-respect)
  • My cat -Tatiana
  • Planning/ Goals
  • My morning caffeine fix
  • Making an effort with my appearance -dressing fashionably -wearing makeup
  • Getting my hair, eyebrows and nails done regularly
  • Having an uncluttered and organised home
  • Reading time at night with my daughter
  • My daughter telling me she loves me- love, in general, is important to me 
  • Me time
  • Being acknowledged as a person 
Finally, I don’t want to bombard anyone with information overload, so I have decided to do an end of the week mini WRAP exercise that we covered with this exercise. So keep an eye out for updates. The content is about what you need to do DAILY to maintain wellness.

Always look up-

‘Always look up wherever you go – those who walk with there eyes to the floor miss out on so much of life’ 

 

If you have followed my previous posts on from the start of doing my MA,  you will know it has been an ocean of tidal waves and tsunamis and, high tides and low tides.

These still waters of mine run deep.

My First TMA (tutor marked assignment)   Act one of a stage script about a homeless couple received a CLEAR PASS  of 62%

There were tears, miscommunication, fallouts, despair and I lost confidence in my writing abilities.

TMA 2 ( my second genre -Fiction writing)  I wrote a supernatural piece about a girl who (accidentally) commits suicide.

Lat night, my tutor emailed me to say she was having an issue submitting my marks via the online system and she didn’t want me to start worrying, so, she copy and pasted all the feedback and my mark into an email.

She gave me useful and extensive advice on what I propose to write for my EMA ( end of module assignment due in May 2017)

The second act to the homeless couple script.

Eeeeek! 

I do feel more supported, understood, challenged and more confident in achieving what I want to do with my writing for this piece.

Oh, the results for my TMA 2

82%   a HIGH MERIT.

I’m back to the marks I was getting when I was doing the final year of my BA in the Art and humanities.

I need to keep this momentum going. I don’t want to find myself under merit territory again.

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I invest a lot of time in people and the things and causes I dedicate my time to.

 

DAISY DOES VOLUNTEERING:

One thing I have had to put on the back burner is helping to  co-facilitate 12 weeks of WRAP (wellness recovery action plan self-management program) with the EIP   ( early intervention prevention ) team for people diagnosed with at least one episode a psychotic episode

I’m gutted. There were many issues that led me to distance myself from this.

Two beings:

Issues of funding and logistics.

I enjoyed meeting up the people I was going to work with. I loved their energy and enthusiasm.

A lot was promised and then not delivered.

 I felt the need to email my colleagues and tell them what I thought about how the course was put together- I was my usual blunt self and not very diplomatic.  Ooops…

I feel that if the NHS ( national health system) in the U.K. expects results from a new therapy or a new way of self-help/lifestyle and illness management program, then scrimping on pounds is not helping promote or inspire that WRAP works.

In the long term WRAP  (run properly) will most likely save the NHS money.

As far as I’m aware- nobody knows what is going on with this current  WRAP workshop. I haven’t fallen out with anyone. I can’t give all my energy into something if everyone doesn’t have the same vision.

For me, it needs more planning and preparation and I’m not going to be that person who just turns up to volunteer at a workshop to go –

‘Oh look at me, I’m making a difference’ – when I know, in my heart, the results this particular workshop can have on people’s lives if  it is implemented properly.

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I’m currently putting my energy into other charities I work with to see how I can help them.

DAISY GOES TO HER FIRST SESSION AT THE  ACTING PROGRAMME WORKSHOP :

I wasn’t nervous until I got to the place. I arrived early. It was bitterly cold and I hate the cold.

It turned out to be incredible.

We did a few  Actor warm-up activities such as being aware of filling the space and being aware of other Actors around us.

We did some improvisation and using our body exercises to convey emotion.  Loads of fun!

What a lovely bunch of people. I am definitely going to the next session next week. We all seem to have common goals and everyone is so unique and interesting.

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UNEXPECTED SURPRISE ALERT:

There is a possibility we may (or may not) put together a little something to perform to students at the university after the 8 weeks.  How awesome is that?

I do try and keep up with you all on here. It has been difficult but the more knowledge and confidence I gain in the above  areas of my life – the more time I will  get to have fun- one being reading blogs and blogging random stuff

DAISY LIFE UPDATE:

 It was my husbands birthday on Valentine’s day. We have a sleigh bed!

hi ho!  hi ho! it’s off to bed I go – ha ha! It’s massive – king size!

 

After the mid-term school holidays in February, my Bella – my daughter will be joining Year one ( she is in reception at the moment)  for her reading and writing class.

She has two mates with her who are excelling just like her and she is a bit of a whizz kid at Maths.

DAISY’S MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE:

Long story short. Pushing other people’s buttons to get an honest answer has been difficult -emotionally- to sit with – without trying to avoid the emotions by self-medicating.

I’ve been angry at myself for nearly destroying the best thing  I have in my life- my family – because, I believed ( with help) that someone cared more about me than they actually did.I put a lot of my energy into helping a person when they had a meltdown last year. It all got thrown back in my face.

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I finally know the truth. That is all I ever wanted. Now, it’s time to let sleeping dogs lie.

That’s it – all very boring but it’s all happening

Physically. I’m eating better and I have more energy. I haven’t lost weight which is something that terrifies me equally as putting on weight does.

 

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WRAP ENDS- no full stop just yet;

WHAT IS WRAP ?

WELLNESS
RECOVERY
ACTION
PLAN
‘It is a self management recovery system designed to decrease symptoms/stress , increase personal responsibility and improve quality of life. Self management of mental health issues and wellness are an essential component of recovery orientated services’ – Mary Ellen Copeland

WOW! What a day.

I am lying if I say I’m not bummed that WRAP is finished. Three months of learning awesome life skills with a rather diverse bunch of people. all  brought together by little similarities that  only appeared once the surface was scratched and a mask or two had been thrown to the floor.

We had a really short session. I’m very excited about WRAP’a promo video which should be available mid January 2016. It’s been a pleasure and an honour to be a part of it all. I have a  short summing up video of my own. CLICK HERE .The shortest in 12 weeks. I don’t blame anyone for not watching them. I do waffle a lot! Oh and my camera sucks and now it’s broken so I need a new one. YAY!  more money to spend…

Anyway back to WRAP. it has been an awesome journey. I know this is super corny but we got a certificate for completing it. 12 weeks is a commitment and I guess I only realised that when I got up to collect mine. It makes me feel proud. And so I should be- along with my fellow wrappers.

WRAP is about  to get so much bigger next year. So make sure you keep an eye out for updates. I want it to be global. I have ideas and so do other people so -watch this space-

Okay you can stop watching it. I’m such a geeky writer. Anyway..

I’m going to keep in touch with as many of my fellow wrappers as possible. We have already scheduled a date to meet up, so can’t wait to discuss ideas and hopefully collaborate on something for 2016. The only way is forward. I’m also quite prepared to help anyone reading this prepare their very own WRAP. No money. No obligations. Just commitment to yourself to give yourself a special gift.

I thought it would be nice to show what an average wrapper and wrapper co-facilitator looks like. – here we are! Just a bunch of really awesome people!  I won’t say who is who but we are real people!

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A lovely touch to end our 12 week group session was to do a small activity. It’s so simple and it made me cry.

We all chose a coloured piece of A4 cardboard and drew a pen around our hand and then put our names on top. Everyone then went around the group writing something for each person.

I got mine back and I was shocked. I’m bringing this up because once again my thoughts have been challenged. I thought the group thought I was bossy and never stopped talking and I don’t know what else. I do know that it was not very positive.

This is what my fellow wrappers did write and it blew me away. All those shitty thoughts crumbled. This was the evidence that I am not rubbish what my thoughts tell me. I can get it wrong.

Creative and passionate- a good mum-who fought for her girl”

” Intelligent, articulate you are enough and enjoy being your perfect self”

“Keep up the good work”

” Top girl with a big hart”

” very nice to know you as a person.You are always giving  good and helpful news”

” Your enthusiasm and wisdom and generous heart has been lovely to see, thank you”

” Lovely person- full of enthusiasm .Nice to know and has come a long way in the group” 

” A caring person. A joy to be with.”

“Daisy, I really admire your strength and courage  to make the positive change in your life. You are inspiring and interesting. Your thirst for knowledge is wondrous.You have so much potential to do anything you want”

 

So 2016 we are all ready for you. It has been a pleasure and a wonderful gift just before Christmas. I was really upset I couldn’t stay for Christmas lunch but I had to go dashing off to watch my daughter  play an ‘Alien’ in her nativity play. It was so worth it.

I did get to pull a Christmas cracker!

That is it it truly is a wrap.

 

 

 

What is a Crisis plan?

So, here we are, we have one week to go. Sometimes in spite of planning to stay on top of life stresses, we can and do go into crisis mode. But all is not lost. This part of WRAP -is how to re-gain control when you can’t look after yourself. The link to look at what we have covered in previous weeks and how to create your own wrap is here.

10 weeks of finding out what makes you tick, what you like and what you hate, what to do more of and who and what to avoid. You have found out so much about you, it makes sense that you should write your own crisis plan. 

What is a crisis plan? 

Simply put, it is a 9 step plan you create to put in a detailed plan of what you want other people to know about and what you want people who sign this agreement to follow. I will suggest you do this plan when you are well.

This is not something you should hurry. I have created a powerpoint crisis plan. you can do your plan however you wish. In the UK. the NHS is turning away from Care plan approach and to incorporate a service user-led plan such as WRAP. You know yourself better than anyone and therefore you know what how you want to be treated and what you want to do if you ever slip into crisis mode. Obviously, this is tailor-made for you. Each plan will be unique. 

The 9 parts of the crisis plan are:

  1. What you are like when you are well
  2. Indicators that other people need to take over
  3. Who takes over and who doesn’t
  4. Information on your health-care contact and medication
  5. Acceptable and unacceptable treatments
  6. Home/community care/respite plan
  7. Acceptable and unacceptable hospital facilities
  8. Things others can do that would help
  9. Things others do that don’t help
  10. A list of chores and tasks for others
  11. Indicators the the plan is no longer needed
  12. Signatures from ‘key people’

I’ve put in a lot of thought and effort into my crisis plan as  I want it to work.  This is the final product of  three months of digging deep. It is my plan to stay well and I am serious and committed to it it.

I decided to personalize mine. I have created my crisis plan with power point because I can print out however many copies I need to. There are probably more things I will add to the plan as time goes on.

 MY CRISIS PLAN

WEEK WRAP 11- ‘THE CRISIS PLAN’- CAM CLIP

It is rather a long  clip – 13 minutes.. Apologies for all my waffling.

THAT IS IT.

Be empowered. Your choices are your voice. There is nothing more empowering than your voice to be heard and for your choices/wishes to have listened and implemented

 

 

 

 

WEEK 8 WRAP

Morning all fellow bloggers and wrappers.

Week 8 down!  Here is the link to the all the other weeks covered so far. CLICK HERE  I’ve learned so much. I hope that you have got or will get as much as I’m getting out of doing this course. This week one of our highly valued groupies could not make the group so we decided to put the second part  of Action planning our triggers on hold, until next week. We focused on Early warning signs. These can be rather subtle or they can blast up seemingly from nowhere. If you have been doing this course over the weeks. You will know  that Early warning signs can and often are linked with our triggers. Sometimes in life there may be many indicators that things are not going so well, perhaps you are not coping or managing your thoughts and feelings so well.  Identifying your Early warning signs can help you from going into full crisis mode.

I found this session tough as I have never really looked at my early warning signs that may off set my mental health- negatively. If you have one or two supportive friends or family members, they can help you identify you EWS. Sometimes another persons perspective and how they experience your mental health- good and bad is something you can’t identify because you are in the ‘thick of it’ so to speak. Their view is external to your own. So it might just be worth asking someone what they think are your EWS.

EWS are  usually thoughts and emotions that are going on inside. They are internal and seem to have nothing to do with a distressing  situation. Here is a good way to see how EWS are related. Imagine that your mind is a bucket.  From day to day you will come across many different stressful situations that fill your bucket.

So as an example: Your car breaks down- the bucket fills up a bit. You have a bad day at work, the stress bucket fills even more. Your child’s school call you in to discuss behaviour issues. The bucket is nearly brimming full. Then your partner accidentally breaks your favourite coffee mug. You bucket over flows. You then  go crazy at your partner. Perhaps you shout at  him or her and break down crying. It can seem like the coffee mug is the one thing that tips you into a negative mind state/crisis mode but as the diagram shows; it is an accumulation of events that fills up the bucket,  until it is so full, that it seems something quite small can tip you over. This is why it is always important to recognize your Early warning signs. You can put in place a tap to drain the water (an action plan) so that your bucket (stress levels) never reach that tipping point.

Solution+Focussed+Stress+Bucket


 MY LIST OF EARLY WARNING SIGNS

  1. I stay up until the birds are tweeting working on projects
  2. I get irritable
  3. I become overly obsessive with cleaning, my weight, everything.
  4. I miss taking my medication or stop using it 
  5. I cut down on my food/fluid intake
  6. I over exercise
  7. I’m unable to see anything else that is going on around me that is outside of my own problems
  8. Avoidance- people, places, things. emotions
  9. I go onto auto pilot- I can’t stay in the present moment. I look to the past or to the future. I  find it difficult to be in the present
  10. I isolate myself from people even family and lose friends
  11. I’m not able to give my full attention to my family
  12. I become focused on de cluttering my home (even thought it isn’t)
  13. I lose my sense of humour
  14. I’m resistant to all affection
  15. I focus on the negatives in my life. My ‘silver lining’ mantra disappears
  16. I trawl through social media websites comparing my entire life with the lives of what social media website users choose to present to the world and how they wish to be portrayed. I lose sight that this is only one dimension to their lives. 

 Brilliant!  What  do I  do now? Unlike triggers, where I would need to make an action plan for each one. When it comes to action planning for my EWS I only need one plan. So here is a comprehensive list of what I must do if I do start to experience any EWS. It would be a good idea to go back to  your WELLNESS TOOL BOX  and try any other techniques that I/ you have learned over these two months. download (6)

Here is my list

  1.  not over blog/write
  2. Disconnect from all technology
  3. carry on volunteering/working
  4. enjoy and give my full attention to ‘Date nights’ with my partner
  5. Spend more time with family/ friends-especially my daughter 
  6. Book to go do something I enjoy. It could be something as simple as watching stand up comics at home or  going to the theatre, cinema etc.
  7. Meet up for coffee with family and friends
  8. Exercise for no more than  an hour and a half
  9. Lay back and chill and listen to my favourite music
  10. Communicate or at least try to communicate my thoughts and feelings no matter how jumbled they may come out 
  11. have a clear out at home- don’t go over board
  12. face the day
  13. Keep in contact with my C.P.N.
  14. Use mantra’s and positive affirmations
  15. tell myself that ‘whatever happens I can handle it’
  16. Look for my silver lining
  17. Be kind to myself- a bit of TLC – go for a manicure, facial, massage
  18. RING MY LOCAL SAMARITANS      if I feel there is no one else I can speak with 
  19. A great technique to use is to alter my physical space which automatically alters my head space- it can be a simple as getting out of bed.
  20. Be creative- read books, write, paint, draw, do crafts
  21. Try the technique I describe in my video clip of week 8.
  22. Another good technique is this:

If you have a negative thought. Here is an example.

‘ I cannot cope.’

Write that thought down.

‘I cannot cope’

Notice that you have written done the thought

‘ I cannot cope’

The aim of this technique is that by writing the thought down you create a mental distance from it. It becomes not a fact but just a thought. 

Finally I would just like to add and remind people of the 5 key concepts of WRAP. Another exercise you can do is based around these 5 key concepts. 

HOPE. – write down  one experience from your life that gives you hope for the future.

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY -Write down one way that you take personal responsibility for your life.

EDUCATION- Write down something you have learnt about yourself on this journey.

SELF ADVOCACY- Write down one area of your life or situation where you would like to assert yourself more and a step you could take to achieve this. 

 SUPPORT- write down the name of one person who supports you and how they d that. 

If you feel this is a tricky  exercise and need an example. I will gladly use my examples. All you have to do is comment ‘EXAMPLE’ 

That is it for week 8. Go away and feel empowered. You are creating a powerful plan to help you in every life situation you face.