Blog Archives
My True penny
I’m taking back my power.
I’ve got my ammo and my gun powder.
I’m not going to use it cos I’m more of a peace than a ‘fuck you -let’s bomb you to oblivion’ type of person.
I have realised that to allow someone who thinks nothing about me to have so much power to lure me into a paralysed state of persuasive perversion is:
True insanity. I have my true penny and that is what counts.
I pushed him away like a woman under attack – I pushed my lot away – until it formed blood clots on the insides – comparably sized to mounting a herd of elephants.
unwilling to be ridden- trunks raised up, irate – exploding in shouts.
I started to talk about what goes on in my head and my true penny told me that we all makeup scenarios in our minds, to make sense of the lives and situations we come across, in this world of an uncertain, never-ending skyline.
I thought I was losing it.
I thought I was obsessed.
Turns out my brain works out my issues based on characters and story lines and other shenanigans.
Crazy? maybe but creativity strokes the beat with a brush – I feel there is almost a genius to be found walking on this fine line.
Swastikas and Reds are not my idea of interior decorating.
Tearing down my walls.
One little Nazi’s thought is not going to make me come down to that kind of level.
I have my life.
I am the queen of my disco.
I have retro roller skates on .
The sun is my Disco ball. I’m on the rooftop, in the light-beaming under the rays.
Not hiding in the dark, under the influence,an imposter.
A star that can’t twinkle, dishevelled – so shady – a back turns away – It’s the one known as the blue devil.
We are on two separate paths – I notice the screams of a shaken baby.
A rattle spins across the floor – Dummy dribbled with garbled spit.
I guess mommy is right when she says: ‘You always want what you can’t have’
It’s not infatuation, love or anything like that – This baby is having a tantrum – she didn’t get what she wanted .
She didn’t even get a maybe.
I’m done slithering on my belly across damp floors. Waiting for the next Gestapo, soot-stained boot to squelch me.
Turn out my guts until, all you can see is the insides of me- a sore sight of limacine.
Phantom limb syndrome – I am back from the war of past, oppressive obsession.
I’m awake.
Clarity.
Nightmares were all I had to grieve over.
I didn’t lose any limbs. Only my inner self- belief .
I’m a china teapot lady – I’m done trying to find happiness in a person who happily lives life drinking out of cups made of polystyrene .
The present is my greatest gift. I’m not wasting another second wishing on dreams that we can be friends.
My heart is my greatest ally and foe. It makes me work.
Dwarves getting their hoes to do all the work – chasing fairy dust , axe- picking fights with one another, to grow in a place under a roof of artificial light.
Genuine and melodic – true light – mountain breeze is the only place I will find a place to atone.
To make amends.
Let it go and go with the flow
I stand before the world smiling – unashamed – this is my show.
SHOUT OUTS AND AWARD NOMINATATONS TO FOLLOW
Do or Dye
Sitting on the roof top trying to tell myself I’ve not misbehaved.
Blush rose hues creep up my cheeks and I know my hearts desire is unexplained.
I look at the stars — one always stands out brighter than the rest.
I say to myself — there goes my next conquest.
With liberal wings and green peace in my heart ,
I know for the sake of inhabiting my skin-unconfortable feelings will always play a part.
Forgive me for being free spirited and seeking out a bon ami.
If I had testicles would my new gender let me walk free ?
to be me?
It’s a plea.
I love what I desire .
I desire what I love .
I hate it when my sanity decides to imitate a neat whisky on the rocks.
Truth be told – I know I’m getting old .
Disambiguous feelings about the path I tread.
May my daughter’s laugh always bring me round to the sound of present day clocks.
Murmurs of hesitation .
Live my life, have a voice, and sail away
Where else do you think I would choose for a holiday destination?
The one I never have to come back from.
It’s me inside me.
Dare to take a part of me — feel my anticipation.
The specials-the after math.
Told off for my impulsive reaction.
The fact I’m conscious I am typing these words-
I feel inauthentic in how they roll out my mind with a hesitant tense formation
Words rise up ,around me – Jab me and a jeer me to dare say whats on my mind.
I’m not a child and I’m not venerable just yet .
So I swim against the tide of the alphabet soup.
Clarity I seek.
One tidal wave from forcing myself to write these words down;
If only to reinforce I have my own sound.
Sound as a pound
Scared of clowns .
That’s better-Socs — that’s my deal.
My contraband.
How I get from a-z- without reaching out for the plan involving illegally, prescribed Ativan.
Banned from my perception of the elite.
Breached my licence to complete…
Should I hit delete?
This is my beat.
I won’t let me beat me down.
Self is the worst enemy-you know how it ages your reflection
scowling in a frown.
She’s back in business now . Wah da da da da — the song clearly has relevance in my sense of decline.
Fall 8 times — get up again.
Who am I to want merely blend in?
I was born to be a Bengal feline.
Character building — life coach ,I sense my patience won’t let me vote for your reality T.V. yoke.
It makes me sick.
Confession .
Watch one episode and I will mutate into just one more cockroach.
I’m on the down line with a mean upper hook.
Priorities in order.
House work infected by the pox — aren’t you glad you vaccinated your park life children?
Let my demon free to infiltrate the anti’s, confront them with the disease bitten book.
Have a say — what’s the worst that can happen?
Speak your mind — illegal aliens might just descend from that planet called Saturn.
Write to recover. Write to escape.
Shake up your mind , dare to continue —an inner ongoing live debate.
Not for hate — you make your own fate.
Feeling Anxiety. Too worried about what John Sax’s might reveal to his munchie queen.
Know thyself and be true to yourself.
I’m not going to change my character to fit in with society’s latest heart melt.
Superstitious mind – I earned it in walking my path — did you see my black belt?
Stand up for who you are and what you believe in.
Some may consider me strange but have you had a look at your inner heathen?
The entity is back — no wheel-dealing with a bad batch of sugar coated crack.
6 million ways to die — choose one
That came from a song – Who am I to sit around and hide?
Kooky heart
Oh how did this happen to me
The girl from some other foreign city?
Wiley enough to make a plan.
Cunning and soft of heart -all my eggs bled before the start of labour
Before the sun came up.
Hide all pain,
all the blood clots in her smiles.
She would koo koo
again
for her soul was of one who couldn’t quit even when they shouted: She’s already dead.No need for an off with her bed hair beheaded mentality
Signed
Ex oh ex oh
Kooky heart
Women of Ukraine
*8th March women’s international day 2022*
Under a senseless war you are not as noticed as your insight ..
Know that female propaganda protestation is a liberation .Maternal is a revolution
Starting with faith not doubt .
Radical against the martial law
notice
reveal your beliefs with the strength of your education
Never forget you have a duty to stand up .
Voice your opinions.. you are part of your nation.
Even when the patriarchy has you under a thumb.
It’s a parody
A caricature
Putin
employed mercenaries to pluck his monoborw.
Inhabit a cold continent to suit his Napoleon Bonaparte with fashionless gout.
He’s tied up , suited & booted mannerisms to strangle the patriots to go without..
A Siberian exile
An excuse to out those who’ve already come out.
No shame , my women …
Evil will lose this small man’s willy , I believe without a doubt 😏.
International women’s day
Ukraine
Russia we stand as our tribe .
We will win with every gender with clout.
He said : shut your mouth
He told me to shut my mouth
A matrix mixed up reality.
No voice could penetrate my words
Duplicity;
Over & over ,
I said too much
Too soon
Googled each mythological Grecian character channel without further a due.
He told me to shout out with his present presence.
I took offense due to my theoretical thoughts
An invasive entity .
Unsettling striking parallel perspex
Perspectives contrast.
Ineffectual dissonance
Cognitively one was watching the movie without subtext
The other summoning books of mythological Gods.
She clubbed the moment
She clubbed all movement to death.
A breathe
Mere words- littered
Pollute the stratosphere
Tube fed turtle dying on his tomb head
What to say ?
Keep my mouth shut!
Recalling an author – Christopher Vogler-heroes journey
A triumph against my early dementia onset.
Failure to visualise a world now mature
Plastic,
Stryophone,
Polyphryne- strewn.
A pavement to display the current concrete buns news .
Two little lives at me for food .
Did I make a mistake when my absorbed self brought nothing but blues
Shame
A sham
Help
Veered too far
This wasn’t premeditated
Merely wanted him to fondle my breasts
Last Friday he said I recoil like a chicken headless
From his touch or his brazen cackle
Touche
Eclat Yves Se laurent
No brush can lighten this intimate blush.
What more can I divulge ?
Not much with
Out
Taking off
All of my clothes.
That’s too much information…
Google the rest on my admission.
Phillipe flop
Hello, Holliday
You’re still here to stay
You keep my smile a smitten simile
Whether it makes sense
From day to day
That goes by
Needless to say
We’ve had our moments
Red flags
Purple flags
Better than nuances of the sane
Members of the ministry of love
Not circa 1984.
Or ….well..
We’ve evolved.
You’ve grown up
And become a mature man
I’m proud to have in my life
I’m proud to be your lioness
Mane-ly
I’m proud you are my king .
Happy birthday, Gareth Edward Holliday.
You are the man who has seen past Every sin.
Sees beauty when others discard me as flotsam on a tide
Tired when my damp tearful matchstick
Goes out.
Yet the flame you ignite remains within
My heart
You…
The diamond that bled for more than skin.
Noble , you are , I’ve learnt to trust you.
Happy birthday , Phillipe flop. Every day is a vacation when my eyes spot your baby eyelashes
Daring to look beyond
Within.
( encore ) HAPPY BIRYHDAY MON AMOUR!
Memories
If you could see the myriad memories that run across my eyes : you would be driven into a bedlam.Wishing for a forget me sods lot of wild flowers enraged with the promise of eeergh de parfume- dementia.
Naive Rider
Who am I ?
Designated driver left with that old Mad hatter.
The old mercurial adage
Question
Savage
Silence
Slithering
pereptual.
If I don’t write, talk or express myself
My beliefs mean nothing
My mind is a personality of multiples
Forgotten words
The story of my life.
Seems obvious
Desonate or disconnect from past traumatic strife.
Moving on automatic
No sense , inebriated , toxic , sober my God has left the pall bearer in charge of my destination.
Music is my only salvation
No! Just my words are the above without hesitation.
Motivation ?
Print ink on my soul
Cast a shadow
A casket made of ornate gold.
Maybe I’m not the oldest of souls
The palm reader knew when my rings didn’t make it up to my elbows
Oh well…
Fate ? destiny?
What does it matter when life is a choice whether you die or break the glass between the two worlds
It may shatter
I’m into cats.
Does it matter.
I’m a riddle of my own inertia.
Moon Go Viril phase
Though the light may fade.
Dark shades heighten the Euphoric daze
Forgotten words wasted on ill-gotten behaviors.
In that quagmire
Still driven to send out a vigil of hope.
Buried within me.
Buried under a myriad haunted ghost.
What keeps disarming me
Whose charm beckons me to this world?
When I open my eyes
Betrayed by curiosity in gazing outwards.
Look back at the words you have’ written.
Be inspired that you wrote them!
Sweep those sneaky snide comments out through the back door
How dare they Prevent this form of self-expression.
words made up of simple dimples are all we need
Self-respect
He cautiously peers out
perched a top
the Jonnies rotting,
woodlice.
Infected tears confidently descend
To the basement days
when his best foot turned all the bedheads.
Don’t worry.
Don’t over -care
Don’t overthink.
Don’t Glare without an ending for sentence as to what grows out from your mind.
Hauled up in dusty webbed rags of self-doubt.
Can you catch the Shadows doth change according to light.
Mere reflection and perception of how you do intimidate me
shadows can’t exist without a living
body
soul
And mind.
Take the power back.
At least from behind the scenes
Don’t hide from those
Impervious sighs
disproportionate contortions of their own path.
Happy lights-faeries delight.
Blissful smiles stipple out faces.
There can be no ulterior motive.
Unless we retrace for an Agenda?
confused about life twists mysterious Genders.
Tender
Guilt sprouts up-GMO crops
Pesticidal casual all matter starts to hoe out my mind
Crucify my time?
Fraternized with Flowers more sentient than humans taken up by nocturnal spaces
Unevolved sight is having an identity crisis.
Army of words
A halo of benign bravado.
To those monsters of Carpathian.
Here is my audacity & Gumption.
Try
Shout me down.
Mere echoes with no home.
Threaten me or one of my own,
I will stand up and defend my home.
Bats of fear — Clots of blood
Circulate above in a murmuration
So much I want to put down.
Not in the stream of consciousness
No more ashamed of how far down I free-fall into the squid ink mouth of the abyss.
I gripped onto nature’s own boulderous
A safety net of
Silver linings
I have.
I seek out another taste