Blog Archives

The other side of Fear.

Top of the morning to  you all!

WOW!

It feels good to be able to type away with no  worrying about any trains or buses or rides to catch.

This weekend I get to catch up on reading your blogs -YAY!

I have missed you all so much. I can’t wait to throw myself into my  Masters.

I always feel  I come across so smug when I say it or type that word but I have worked my ass off to get to this point.

Proper catch up with as many of you as possible this weekend.

For those who know -I DID IT!

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I am now able to officially and skillfully co -facilitate WRAP groups(  wellness recovery action plan program) to help people who have mental and physical issues or have had at one point,to  manage their lives- holistically.

It’s not a therapeutic based program. It’s truly a chance to revolutionize the way we  deal with our health in the current Diagnostic,clinical, prescriptive , doctor is always right  model we use.

erm.. I nearly didn’t do this program because I felt I wasn’t in a good place mentally or physically, however by going back to my own WRAP plan  ,

I remembered a few of my own wellness tools ( things that keep me well) . To share a few:

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  • educating myself

  • putting myself out of my comfort zone ( public speaking alert/thinking on my feet/making myself vulnerable to empower others)

  •  volunteering my time to skill up and be a person who is an active part of my community and who is wanting to share my knowledge/experiences and pass information along with others.

     So, pushing myself by doing the WRAP facilitating mental health  recovery  program,  using the key concepts and ethics to show that  people who experience mental health( good and bad),  with support and  without judgement,  can find new ways of coping with life and their issues that empower and give them back the responsibility for their own mental/physical health.

    If that is what they want.

It is possible. I’ve seen it work over and over again. I work it.

It was heavy going. I was thinking on my feet a lot, not much time to prepare things ,put on the spot, practicing presenting skills, facilitating skills, listening skills.  There is so much I could put down.

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I lost a lot of my self-confidence -3 months ago. On a positive note,by pushing myself and challenging myself to do this program at the next level, it has helped me find my inner confidence again, I’ve started to believe in myself again, I remember how far I have come. The future has  so much in store for me because I choose it to be that way.

I want this to be a really positive post.  I have these lyrics in my head: ‘don’t be negative (negative) just be positive (positive)’

  ha ha! How am I doing?

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 Tbh. I am relieved the training is over. I can now concentrate on my next goal – my MA in creative writing. EEEK!

Then, I can start using extra hours in my Life to  help form a WRAP  community in Calderdale, U.K. ( which is where I currently live).

This is the wonderful group of individuals I had the opportunity to work with.  I have had their permission to put this pic up on my blog.

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 Here is me with a bunch daisies I found in the garden .

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I am going to end it on a  high.

I’m going to be  a bit selfish.

 Yesterday, we  (including the WRAP training facilitators who run the group) each  had a turn to write down our thoughts about each person we have worked with on the five-day training course, using strength-based feedback.

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It’s not as cheesy as it sounds because I know I am my own worst critic and I know I am not alone in that.

This morning, I have read the comments people wrote on my name tent.  I’ve decided to reinforce these comments in my mind, by typing them into this post.

Yes, yes I am bigging myself up – no one else is going to do it.  My husband says  I need to blow my own trumpet. In his Yorkshire accent, he goes :

” Ya bloody earnt it.”  ha ha!

Here they are:

‘Tasha, you have a passion for growing and will be great helping others’

‘vulnerable but strong,empathetic,powerful,enthuisiatic,’

‘Tasha, you are an absolute star! Your openness and insight are inspiring. I feel priviliged to know you.x’

‘You are an inspiration to us all- your story is one of Strength and Hope. It has been a real pleasure working with you this week. Thank you x’

‘Tasha, your courage and Strength has been a shining light in this group.I have seen you listen, learn and grow.’

‘Tasha, you have shown strength and individuality. Keep on going’

‘Great to meet you, warm and friendly person’

‘Well done Tasha, for having the courage and Strength to complete the training course. You will be an asset to any facilliator team. Share yourself and your journey so far.’

‘You are a genuine individual. Never change x’

‘Natasha, I know you have had it hard.You are one strong, beautiful lady. Please look after yourself.x’

‘Tasha, your capacity to grow and learn means you are definitely   going too be a great facilliator. Your empathy stands out like a light’

‘Tasha, what a journey you have been on and I only know snippets. It’s clear to me you are a strong woman. I love your vibrancy and individuality.I also thought we made an awesome team x’

”Natasha, Don’t change who you are! Don’t doubt yourself ever again. You’ve shown kindess,compassion and consideration to everyone this week.I would love to stay in touch and see you again in the future.Girl done Good!. x 

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HAVE A FAB WEEKEND! 

LOVE DAISY XOXO

A Dose of Sunshine.

 The sun may have called it a day 😀  but as promised, I have done it! Caught up with all you ,bloody brilliant bloggers who have touched soil with the Willows. 

Finally, I have  had the  attention span and energy to go through all of your lovely blogs. You are all so bloody  unique. I LOVE IT!

This usually takes me a full day and night to do but it is totally worth it. You all are.

I am blown away by the diversity of the people and content  I connect with on WordPress. I am buzzing from checking out your Blogs. I have a massive smile on my face. The sun  is  still  shining for me and my heart is brimming over with sunny Delight.

WOW! I’m speechless. Ha ha!

Thank you for taking a chance on this flower. Me!

I know I have an epic award to receive but I have really wanted to meet everyone who has come into the Willows over the past two weeks.

SHOUT TIME – whoop! whoop!

I do sincerely check  out all your blogs and not only do I give you a shout out to say THANK YOU!  but I pick what I call -MY STAR SCENTED POST PICK to lead other Bloggers to check out your Blogs.

Please check out  these Blogs.

Be comfortable to feel how you want to feel!  

 Be yourself! 

Be! 

Live! 

Laugh!

Cry! 

Be human! 

Breathe in the Good shit!    OXYGEN! 

Thank you for bringing so much colour to my Blog!

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My balanced mind- body- Balancing the Mind, Body and Soul connection

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THE WRITING CAFÉ A collection of short stories and poems from an evergrowing group of best friends.

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MY STAR SCENTED POST PICK :  My kitten growls like a dog!

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MY STAR SCENTED POST PICK: From A Lover’s Diary -“I Want An Every Day Kind Of Love”

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HAVE A GRAND WEEK.

I HOPE TO GET MORE CREATIVE AGAIN IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. DYING TO JUST WRITE.

MY FIRST WRITING DEADLINE AT UNI FOR WRITING (CREATIVELY) 😀  IS THE 24/11 SO WISH ME LUCK!

DAISY ❤ ❤

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I Believe!​

“BELIEVE in you and see what transpires”

Daisy

Remember this?

 

I think my hourglass has a hole in it.  😀 😀

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Ok.

So it is that time to sing all your praises – new flowers and trees / plants – whatever you wish to be.

WELCOME TO THE WILLOWS.

This is what I do each week. SHOUT OUTS!

I give a shout out and share a post from your blog that hits me.

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ERM……………..

I like to express my gratitude and at the same time, give -all my other lovely friends in the Willows, new Blogs to check out.

I have decided to do what I did last week and accept an award and nominate not only ten people I already follow (  the first number that came to my mind) but also to nominate you for this award too. Simply because… I can..

Ha ha! No, I jest, I jest…..

The reason will become apparent now.

The intention of this award is to encourage connectivity and support in the blogging community and to increase exposure for individual bloggers. 

BROOKE @THE UTOPIA UNIVERSE

Here is my lovely award

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Thank you, Brooke. I have followed you since I started blogging and when I think of you I think pure white sand, balmy weather, a Mediterranean vibe, and cocktails 😀 – the cocktail bit is my added idea of what should get the thumbs up in  Utopia.

I sometimes think that you must be telepathic because whenever I read your posts, it feels like you have tapped into my brain and drawn out something that I need to face and draw strength from.

The song that comes to mind when I think of you is this. I don’t know why but I just do.

https://vimeo.com/33468861

If you wish to accept the award:  The rules are simple:

  • Accept award or accept it as a compliment

  • Credit Award nominator

  • copy and paste award image in your post

  • Explain what the award is for – check above

  • Nominate  whoever you want

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SHOUT OUT OUT TIME – CHECK OUT THESE BLOGS. THANK YOU FOR TAKING A CHANCE ON THIS DAISY 😀

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FEEL THE LOVE VIBES! 

CONTRA LEGEM

LIVING AND LEARNING Stories of my life and lives of those in it

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CLOUDYSKIES73- CLOUDYSKIES73 ABOUT This site is about my life and how I’m choosing to live it. I don’t judge people for how they are living theirs, but if you can learn from or you find my blogs are helpful to you in any way then my mission is accomplished. For me, blogging has become therapy and a way of trying to heal my hurting heart.

DEWI ANNISA

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  • MY STAR POST PICK – DAISY SAYS: SPOILT FOR CHOICE 😀

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  • MY STAR POST PICK – A NEW BLOGGER? WELCOME! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW YOUR BLOG EVOLVES -GOOD LUCK!

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MayaWillemse Elke zaterdag om 10:00 een nieuwe blogpost!MayaWillemse Elke zaterdag om 10:00 een nieuwe blogpost!

MUSINGGIRL CRAVINGS OF MY HEART ARE SONGS OF MY VERSE 💗💗

Life of a Mama

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MY  NOMINATIONS 10 OF YOU, WHO INSPIRE ME TO KEEP BLOGGING

  1. ROB

  2. LOTTIE

  3. SWETA

  4. POETURJA

  5. EDDAZ

  6. MEG

  7. JESSICA

  8. TIKEETHA T

  9. JUANSEN

  10. JASON

 

Time to get back to real life.

Saving the world, that kind of thing 😉

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Catch up with you later!

Daisy xoxoxo

 

 

Current mindset

PERMISSION: to Fuck up and pick myself up

“I fuck up all the time. I also make sure I get my shit together and fight for what I want  and who I want in my life. I can’t fight for the ones who give up on me but I can only wish them the very best “

DAISY WILLOWS

Apologies for not reading as many Blogs as usual. I have read as many as my mind can take in.  It’s been pretty rough for me lately.

WWJD?

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WWDD?

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All very “woe  is me” and it has got boring!

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 but it is a  new -ish day!

I needed too get something optimistic out into the Blogo sphere

My tuition loan for my MA in Creative writing has come through- waiting on  one more loan to come through.

I don’t take no for an answer!

Then 2 years from now I will do a mini PHD top up and go and rule my world!

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Oh and in other great News,

I’ve been officially approved on the WRAP training facilitator course in September. If you don’t know about it yet. You will do. I will merge my own personal WRAP PLAN and journey with my new role of holding the space for others to have courage and believe in themselves and feel safe to go on their own journey .

I’m not a teacher, merely a person who has  a chance to offer support.

Volunteering with  charities in Mental Health is the best thing I started doing with my life.

They know I have been ill , may even get ill again.  The point is, if I don’t put myself out there I will not have a chance to seize any opportunities.

Volunteering gives me drive, Keeps me focused, empowers me to do my best in life and if I manage to help a few people out on the way then what more can I ask for?

 

 Oh and here is how I was able to get on this course. Scroll down to check out my PLEA to get on this training.

Just hit scroll if you don’t want to hear me go on for oh 5 minutes on my video cam… 😀

This is my career. I take it seriously.

If you want to listen to me waffle about how I felt about WRAP way back in December 2015 – feel free. 5 minutes of me talking!

Oh the excitement! 😉

 Oh  and if you don’t want to know about WRAP.

I’m offended.

Ha ha! I’m not.

My WRAP page needs updating but if you want to know what Daisy get’s like when she is passionate and determined  CLICK HERE.

Never thought that me filming myself nearly a year ago would lead me to this.

Carpe Diem!

MY PLEA

  1. I, Daisy Willows,agree to abide by the WRAP ethics and values.

*PLEASE ANSWER THESE FOUR QUESTIONS TO CONFIRM YOUR PLACE ON THE TRAINING*

 

  1. ABOUT MY WRAP EXPERIENCES AND HOW I USE WRAP IN MY LIFE

When I was given the opportunity to be a part of WRAP, I didn’t know how much it was going to impact on my life and the lives of others.

I was and am by nature sceptical. I have relied on medication and psychotherapy and in patient treatment as a way of managing my mental health for most of my life.

WRAP was a three-month period where I began to realise that I could have more of a say in how I want to be treated and how I could cope differently.

I learnt so much. I now have so many different ways of coping and I find that when my mental health does dips, I do get back to being in a better mind state more quickly because of some of the techniques I have learned and adopted.

I believe WRAP is personal and unique to everyone who participates. I don’t think I took away the same thing as any  one of my peers.

It was an opportunity to discover more about myself. How I can help myself.

I learned to work as a team. I felt safe and I didn’t feel judged.

3.MY REASONS FOR WANTING TO BECOME A WRAP FACILLATOR

 WRAP has given me the confidence and skills to live a life I want to live. I want to be able to share that with others

I am able to take every aspect of what is covered in WRAP and either use it myself or pass on what I have learnt to others who may need advice.

I believe WRAP is the way forward with the CPA. I have given a plan over to my professionals who support me about my wants and what I don’t want to happen if I go into a crisis again.

I have alternative ways of coping with my wellness toolbox. I also have a post crisis plan to let people know when I am getting better and I can start taking more responsibility for what I can’t when I have been unwell.

WRAP is truly the best gift I ever received.

Is there anything bad to say about WRAP?

Well I suppose an open mind helps.

It requires commitment to wanting to improve my life and consistency.

4.WHAT I WISH  TO DO WITH MY WRAP QUALIFICATION

Spread the word. Let  people know there is another way to manage Life in many different ways. I want be a Wrapper. Use my qualification to just offer support. I am no teacher but I can give my time and my energy and my listening skills. I am enthusiastic and passionate about WRAP. I believe I will be a great asset to getting this programme and alternative way of living out into our community. I use WRAP every day, even when I am not even aware it.

You would think.

Today I decided to write first  and then check out Linda G Hills prompt for soCs  and find a place for the word prompt in my poem. Feeling ungoverned..

 

She has got the whole world in the grasp of both hands.

You would think she would be parading about with a  long procession  of New Orlean’s bands.

She has got a future so bright, it sets off her aura .

You would think  this would be enough to satisfy her disorder.

She  truly has it all.

Master of her destiny.

You would think she would be concerned with the ones who see the best in her shabby malarky.

Rave reviews flying about her  in great swirls.

Promises of a journey that  makes every oyster want to be that  part of a string of precious pearls.

She has got a future signed ,sealed and she has promised to deliver.

You would think one would satisfy her yearning for a sense of hedonistic pleasure.

You would think the world should  have tamed her – no  phoenix  bird rising from the ashes  to see  here.

Yet,  you see she is hungry , trapped , ogled at  and  even lustier.

There she goes strutting about  like she has it made.

What goes through her mind would probably make her   appear better suited to a romp with the Marqui de sade

There is a darkness in her that can’t be expelled 

I suspect she has tried to,

but she is constantly compelled.

Driven , fierce, ambitious and demanding to be heard.

She is that raven , gnawing at its cage with ideas of Freedom that can only come from the smartest  bird.

When will she feel her soul dripping in honey?

She knows it is not about the money. 

She can make a difference -she has already  stoked fury from her silenced foes.

Hark!

Look  at her!

How she  always comes up smelling of Roses?! 

She always comes up  the winner in the race of life’s woes.

Pleasure her and watch her laugh – she will make you seem like the only light in her dark.

You will feel her undivided attention and you will feel you have been counted and made your mark.

You have.

She is conflicted

Addicted.

Mystified by her own maledictions.

She still thinks about singing out her unpatriotic  defections.

Twinkle Twinkle little star.

She is what she is,

as much as you are who you are.

*Feeling irritated.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “long.” Use the word “long,” any definition. Enjoy!

LINDA G. HILL 

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Two hearts. One soul.

“If you are going to re visit the past make sure you don’t have any expectations. This is the best armour you can possibly have to protect you from disappointment. If you get something good from revisiting the past -it will be a surprise and a blessing” DAISY

I’ve learnt that time is indeed a great healer.

I believe that as long as my intentions are good and come from a good place then I don’t need no particular faith or religion in my life to direct me.

I know inside -already what is right and wrong. I was born with a certain code of ethics and life and the people in my life have helped shape and mould my beliefs and values.

I have got to a point where I am happy with my values and beliefs.

This morning I learnt a valuable lesson.

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We are not born evil.

We my do horrific things to each other in our relationships but relationships require hard work , commitment, compromise and respect and trust.

Love does feature and there is a saying that ‘love conquers all’.

I feel this quote can  only to be true when we know what true love means and what true love asks of us.

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Sometimes we say we love someone, for fear of being alone or because we are scared of not having some kind of attention.

 I am so blessed today as every day.

Especially today.

I have a beautiful family and we are all going to be able to take on the same name- the traditional way.

I will still be Willows on here but I will be Mrs Willows and our daughter and me will take on G’s name in the real world.

Today I received some fantastic news about this whole changing of names.

Thank you for not fighting me.

The past is the past.

We are never who we were 5 years ago, 1 year ago, a day ago or even an hour ago.

I was asleep 1 hour ago- not ready for today.

I am now Blogging and getting ready for what I need to get done today.

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We can be so ugly to one another when we are hurt, confused, insecure and not stable or thinking straight.

I’m so  blessed and grateful I have found my soul mate. We have an amazing child.

In 6 days time I  will let go of the name I have had for 34 years and take on a new name.

I’m so excited about this new chapter.

Sometimes we have to die a bit so that we can be re born.

It’s painful to let go and die..

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I’m ready to take my first breathe in my new life.

I know it is going to be worth it.

Don’t be afraid of endings.

Be excited that an ending usually means a beginning.

Such is the nature of life.

Like a circle we will constantly go through our ups and downs. We will be at the top of the circle sometimes and at other times at the bottom.

We need this balance .

I  needed  to feel hurt in order to know true love.

Blessings do indeed come in a variety of disguises.

 

We-Me and G- have been through so much and I still feel the same way I do about him that I did the first time I met him.

Oh he is a pain in the ass at times, stubborn and well… stubborn..

He respects me more than any other man I have been with.

Trusts me – we don’t have secrets even the worst kind .

He isn’t perfect but who is?

These are my words for today.

 

Family is what you make it.

Not all of us have the privilege of having a dysfunctional family that make us want to pull our hair out or grow another tongue and voice box.

Oh there are more than just me then?

Of course, duh!  many of us grow up and still live in dysfunctional families.

We fight.

We  become a part of bad decisions and then start making bad decisions too.

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What I have discovered on my Mom’s side of the family and I will extend this to my Nan on my Dad’s side. As the Cypress hill song ‘When the shit goes down’ says:

“When the shit goes down – you better be ready.. “

But what if we aren’t?

I was not ready for a mini  quest and challenge to test how truly committed and supportive I can be, 8 weeks away from my wedding day.

Life throws these C- balls.

Sometimes life feels compelled  to wake us up from our tailor made to fit for comfort  , just the right temperature coffin and shake us up and around and blow us side ways, until we are forced to roll out from it  and  un-stake our forsaken hearts.

TIME TO INSERT SILLY COFFIN MEME

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TIP: IF YOU CAN LAUGH WHEN THE SHIT IS COMING DOWN IN PELLETS. YOU ARE HALF WAY TO WINNING.

A part of the  quest becomes to remember how to  feel. To step up to the mark and prove you are all that you say you are.

In my case

  • Devoted

  • Loyal

  • Creative

  • Honest

  • Committed

  • Hard working

  • Loving

  • Generous

  • Compassionate

  • Empathetic 

I shall stop there .

Just a week ago  my ma  and I were at logger heads. Two stubborn mules not making way for  either one to cross.

So, effectively not getting anywhere.

I think we are even a hybrid of some sort of other animal with horns.  The horns are used for the bidding of any “cheap shots” we wish to call.

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SOMETHING I COULD SEE MY MA SAYING TO ME

A week later my little  life has been thrown off balance . I  suddenly  missed my routine ride to work  I felt myself skidding on ice. No tree, fence or any other prop to catch me from falling. I had Valium but I didn’t want to deal with this particular life issue solely under the help of “mothers little helpers.”

So I had to take get on all fours and start to crawl again.

It doesn’t matter that a bus load of people had gone by and seen me scramble.

I began to panic. How am I going to cope?

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It doesn’t matter that I could hear their collective voice of – if  she wasn’t wearing the wrong shoes then….

I rely a lot on those in my life to support me. They do make my life easier.

It didn’t stop me from getting  angry when I realised I had counted on some people so much I felt I had become lazy .

By allowing others to take the pressure off and do some of  things that I would usually do myself -I had rendered myself pathetic and I felt weak.

I didn’t know if I had the strength to take on EVERYTHING again plus the added  duty I have as a person  who loves another.

Step in :

Two knights in shining armour

My Mom and my Nan.

They had it all figured out. Bella bee is going to stay with them for a few days and I get to don my best nurse outfit and only keep up household duties for two and a cat child . We are going to get extra food supplies in so I don’t need to go out much. The bills will get paid. All I need to do is give them a list and the money.

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THAT IS ALL THEY ASKED FROM ME

 

Problem solved.

Once again, my family as dysfunctional as we are,  as many spats  and fall outs we have. There they are  ready to take a lot of weight off my shoulders so I can do what I need to do to the best of my ability.

It’s kind of terrifying when there is a role reversal I haven’t had time to prep for.

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The cared wants to  and must become the carer.

Like my Mom and Nan said :

“We will get through this as a family”

I’m not alone.

Are we ever really as alone as we may feel at times?

If we voiced our fears would we find ready and able bodies of support to help?

I’ve never been good at saying

I need some help here.

I’ve been good at indicating I am in need of help.

My health symptoms flare up

  • over dosing

  • self medicating

  • impulsive /promiscuous behaviour  –  

    this has nothing to do with being “easy” so if your mind went straight TO:

    “Oh , don’ you mean you become a whore when you are unwell? ”  

Please  feel free to grab a piece of paper and paper cut your balls or your clit.

Blunt.

Not for the paper cut but yes,I am blunt by nature.

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So I do recommend trying to actually communicate in a healthier way , if you need help.

You never know what may happen.

So, I’m feeling less stressed than yesterday.

IN OTHER NEWS –

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WEDDING NEWS: Food tasting session today and wedding run through rehearsal. Does this extend to the drink tasting too, I wonder?

I do want my mohjito to be 100% made to my liking. So a taster session is a must.

The hen do is booked -still adding confirmed numbers.

I can’t wait to share my day with you all.

My Nan and Mom should become wedding planners – they would make shit loads of money.

They are that creative.

So going back to family. There is a lot to be said for my family.

I have to include my Bella Bee in this.

She too is so perceptive.

She says things like

“I love you with all my heart”

“Daddy you are so funny”

“Mommy I look just like you – you are beautiful”

” Mommy you must look after Daddy”

“Daddy stop bothering Mommy when she is working” 

” Daddy stop squashing (hugging)  mommy” 

I’m going to go  all hall mark, emboss, stamped approved  here

FAMILY IS WHAT YOU MAKE  IT.

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P.S. I’m aware I am behind on my Blogging a-z – got to do W and X at some point today or tonight or the latest tomorrow.

I do love a challenge but I have always put what is in my head and my heart down in words first before any other  challenge.

It is what works for me. 🙂  This to me is a far bigger challenge than the extra ones I set out to do.

Don’t worry I am no quitter.

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Catch up with you all laterz 🙂

 

Conquer or be Conquered

“I have to keep facing the darkness. If I stand tall and face the thing I fear, I have a chance to conquer it. If I just keep dodging and hiding it will conquer me.”
Mary Pope Osborne, My Secret War: The World War II Diary of Madeline Beck, Long Island, New York 1941      

WHY I’VE CHOSEN THIS QUOTE.

I’ve been letting the dark extinguish all light. I have basically been a wuss. It is the start of a new week. Unfortunately this day starts with an M. but  go look outside your window. check  that cloud out and look for the silver lining..

My passion for life, just recently got ran over by a steam roller and flattened me out, Rolling me out like a  piece of dough, taking all the air- like passion out of me.

We all have our struggles. Shit, it sometimes a lot of the times may  seem like hiding under the duvet covers and growling at anyone who dares to step their big toe into my bedroom like a good idea.

How many times have we done that one?

What did we achieve?

what did we learn?

So how can I big myself up?

 I could hire out a cheerleader and personal mascot to follow me around for the week shouting

GO DAISY!  GO DAISY! D.A.IS.Y. -WHAT DO YOU GET ? DAISY! 

If I did this I may end  up in prison by the end of the week under murder charges for temporarily losing my mind and killing a cheer leader and mascot.

Imagine it. All week. That would drive me nuts!

I’m going to use my busy week to learn.

I know for a fact,that if I 100%

engage in my life this week;I will become bigger in spirit and character and I will learn more. I will evolve. 

 Come Sunday . I will no longer be who I am today.

I’m kind of nosy how that is going to turn out.

Change is good . Push yourself.

I think the idea of being conquered sucks. I know how much of a buzz I get when I push myself and I DO  what I set out to do. I go on a natural high.

I am usually quite successful in all that I  take on.

I’m worried that I won’t have enough time to be a Mom, partner and put the effort I usually do into my  blog and reading other blogs because:

  • I’ve got my hair trial

  • Make up re trial

  • Food tasting for the wedding

  • Run through for the wedding

  • suit hunting

  • ring hunting

  • dentist

  • Bella Bee back at school

  • long hours of group  facilitating  training  on Tuesday and Wednesday

  • More long hours of training with a different organisation on Friday

  • Exercise every day

I know it may not sound like a lot. To me it is a huge challenge considering how I have been feeling lately.

I’m so going to own this week.

Make a list of what you have to do. By all means focus on one day at a time. You don’t want to freak yourself out

Oh and please be fucking kind to your self. I hear this a lot.

GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR WHAT YOU DO GET DONE

Want to  be a part #FollowGreatFootsteps?  You can do it! I will review your blog  and link it to your blog website :) -check out the link above. It”s easy peasy.

35 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY MAN

Here is something I don’t do often – praise my man.

35 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY MAN

  1. He gives me lots of cuddles and I love you’s during the day

  2. He does the washing, dishes and makes the meals in our home

  3. He forgives me when I have been a total bitch

  4. He laughs at things I say and tells me I ought to give myself more credit for being witty

  5. He trusts me  even when I find it hard to trust myself

  6. He likes routine just like me and order. 

  7. he is such a big kid and does the school run with our daughter, come rain,  sunshine, or snow,

  8. He helps anyone and I mean anyone if he can

  9. he  is in love with my soul

  10. everyday he compliments me of my fashion style and how my make up looks

  11. He put up with my cat Tatiana,who I have had since 2008, (four years before we met ) pissing in the lounge for nearly a year. He cried with frustration because he told me he really loves Tatiana but he couldn’t understand why she suddenly started pissing everywhere ( we have worked things out and Tatiana is less jealous of our daughter these days and goes and does her biz in the box)

  12. He won’t have a bad word said about my butt

  13. He is a family man and not a man that goes out drinking with his mates until all hours. He enjoys doing family things

  14. He is patient with my Eating Disorder and doesn’t make me feel like a freak

  15. In the 5 years we have been together he has never let me down not once

  16. He has brought out all the good traits in me – even the ones  I thought I never had

  17. I don’t feel the need to overdose take drugs or drink with him in my life

  18. He will sit with me at the hairdressers and when I get my nails done.

  19. He can be silly just like me and we laugh in hysterics at times – like best friends.

  20. He lets me do what I want to do: start a business (that failed), volunteer a lot of my time to mental health charities, he encourages me to write and respects my need of solitude

  21.  He understands my need to exercise everyday 

  22. He’s rather fit and more than a handful in the bedroom 😉

  23. He is 100% himself. What you see is what you get. He is fit (rather dapper and suave) and doesn’t have a ego. He does have a healthy ego.

  24. He is not the  kind of guy to create drama and go all alpha male if some guy challenges him- that says a lot about his character

  25.  He pushed me to carry on studying and get my BA 

  26. He loved me and accepted me when my daughter was taken away from me and put into care. ( people who know my story will know I have her back fulltime in my life with no social services

  27. He is more intelligent than he lets on but doesn’t patronise me with his knowledge of so many topics – he waits for me to approach certain topics and then I’m blown away by how much he knows on xyz topic

  28. He takes a paper towel and soaks up all the extra water in my vegetables and never cooks with oil. I never needed to ask him. He just did it.

  29.  Sometimes I think about calling him to help me do something and then don’t and all of a sudden he calls me asking me if I called him. That is a bit trippy

  30. He loves jazz

  31. He is as stubborn as me

  32. I have no money and am poor and he still loves me. 

  33. He holds me close when I have panic attacks

  34.  He actually communicates with me.

  35. People say he looks like Jesus – the best thing is we are not religious at all. He could probably get away with murder. He can’t turn water into wine 

I don’t tell him enough how much he means to me but he is a huge part off my world. I can’t wait to be his bride. Happy endings are not perfect like in fairy tales – happy endings are usually a result of a lot if suffering and compromise.  The end may be the end of one book but it is also the start of another ‘once upon a time…..’