Blog Archives

Chair meeting (hung) over

Down with procrastination
Up with productivity

#justsaynotoslumps
Keep pushing on.
Is there a social media ban app that won’t let me unblock until I say it can unblock me ? 樂樂樂樂

I’ve been on a manic induced high for a week . I’m crashing down .
I can’t hit the  dug out ditch
Comfortably numb
soiled and moist 

I have people who I want to be there- cemented in a consistent framework-  for.

A lot of new changes happening in my life  etc…
And the depression is real.
Nothing makes sense,
Discombobulated sums it up best.

The tears are pulling at the heart- spiritually & physically .


Them those tears that seem forced
if you try to visibly show your seismic shamic induced  seizure of the internal  crustal plates  of your entire cosmos .

The Internal  inadequacies
An inferno of anxieties .
Various maladies & malaises.
It all comes across as dramatics, fakeries…
Not worth the eyes snapping desparatly in driftly

A backdraft of procrastination confirms I can’t complete my goal ( just a thought)

And reinforcees the belief that I’m  damned as a  writer .
A fraudster..

I never want to pick a pocket or two
Just say no to the plague or schism ..


Just do it !
Get my heart  into gear and finish my task .


Sincerely,
The * literally *  illiterate  literate..

Tears of unsung fabrications
Turn into tears of gaye garment fruition.
I need  more vacations
Less over occupied vagabond vacants  at my omission.

Boundaries not bondage.

Mah… bah

Ever felt like this ….

A special girl

I know a special girl whose heart is full of sunshine .

She dances her way around the world to deliver her own special punchline

She laughs so distinctly that people cannot help but become infected

It is a sight to behold when this observation is detected She is gracious and kind and is delicately inclined the phrase ‘she is an angel’ are the only words that come to mind .

Her name means beautiful-that of body, mind and soul and to have her touch so many lives confirms her title role.

She is my modern day princess -so noble and full of grace I love her with all my being and she is a person that I cannot replace

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my sweet child. You are the true gift I found it in your innocent eyes and that was the day my world truly began to shift.

My Blog is designed like my mind

Scroll down for the answer to this. Or you can read my post and then read the ending. It’s up to you.

Did I prepare-?

meh -not really.

Did I have an idea?

yup -kind of.

Plot?

come again?

Structure?

is there such a thing?

Character well rounded and believable – good and bad traits?

It will come.

Motives?

one small one for now.

Antagonist?

many…

media res?

yup

Show don’t tell – my mantra!

climatic end?

I will sell my soul to the devil…

Title?  

for now ‘Blurred’…

twists and turns?

Aaah yes of course. Twister is an awesome game. A great game to inspire writing,  c’est ne pas?

Shitting myself. I’m still trying to navigate the website

Burning the candle at both ends?

never stopped me before.

I CAN DO THIS! Personal growth never hurt me before so why change a good thing, right?

I write for personal achievement and I write because sometimes I find that words come easier in the written form. I also write because I’ve been told from a young age I should write.

I write because I can. This blog exists because I have a hell of a lot to write about , interests & my mind needs a place to let the dense mass in my mind tumble out & create form & order.

Hermit hymn

*To be revised*

 

I write about the hermit man

He often takes me by the hand.

Lost to gravity a  fan falls

The same one I use to navigate the wind.

 

Pushed me forwards never touching my body.

Motivated a will to resurrect forgotten seeds of hope

Planted for days when there are more downs than ups.

 

This son of a mother pulled out the brazen sun – shed the waning Luna

Roused the Apollo within

  stumbled about -gaze upwards  until

 in sight caught winged creatures

Caught a glimpse of the emotion of flying free.

 

The knowledge found  in a bare, withered  tree

Stem cell life.

 Presumed  the creature lived in my shadow

Turns out  it  had a growth spurt in

An external effort to shirk off the title of the saviour’s chosen one.

He who wears the hallow

Crucified by the unsynchronised dubbed over mouths

Pitched sounds out a  smoke effect bellow.

Can I get a score?

 

Few get to see his fallen wings

Unless preparation  sees an alternative

look to familiar skin.

 

That ole devil called love

Billie holiday thanks for the speckled dove.

 

Highs & lows

hi’s and by’es

 

High light

 at what remains

A pint of Bitter froth decomposed lost in the train of thoughts.

How the sun shine when it comes out.

blossom in spite of mood.

 

Life

you

I

we

Aren’t  vapid merely  short-sighted when  grey-bearded clouds appear

stubbled by  the  5 o clock shadow

 

Stunted by  growth paradigm

tuned into that dark cosmos we know is responsible for feeling so dim.

A connection to a  reflection of original purity to contrast moments we believe we don’t deserve to move forward.

Clandestine cloaks conceal our original sin.

 

This ongoing duet I sing with a feminine hymn

scintillates my belly until I feel the fire lit again from within.

 

Just a few words

 

Art of Protest

I’m no academic poet.

Talk  to me about about syllables, haikus – to be honest,  I can only hear the blood rushing to my head.

I started doing stream of consciousnesss posts in 2016. I’ve received positive feedback on here, and now I want to step up my game.

Just for fun, the social aspect and it’s a different way to express myself.

So, I did what I do best.

Wing it!

I went to the  poetry workshop, everyone seemed to know what they were doing except me!

 I went with my heart, my  emotions and willingness to try out new approaches, in tackling poetry for live performance.

It was a cool workshop – delivered  by a well established,British  poet – Matt Abott –

check out his bio HERE 

A  collaboration with  DREAM TIME COLLECTIVE. 

ART OF PROTEST

We went through a series of activities with the idea to have some form of a draft by the end of the  2 hour  workshop

The theme was political poetry.

Each participant chose a theme that they felt passionately about. I chose ‘Animal rights/cruelty. ‘

I got so much out of a two hour workshop that I’m going to share what I did.

Once we had chosen our theme/subject

we had to ask ourselves three questions

  • Who does it  affect?

  • How does it affect me?

  • Why is it important to me or to the world?

A Couple of notes I made:

  • It affects animals, people, ocean, planet

  • I’m a lover of animals, I don’t believe that we need to eat meat, or wear clothes or makeup made up of animal derivatives. Because of my knowledge of what animals go through to become a consumer product. I feel it  is unethical.

  • I have my own view of animals. I admire  how they are able to evolve and adapt, in a way, that doesn’t  have a negative impact on the planet .This shows me that humans could learn something from nature, instead of destroying our home.

2. What Matt stressed is:   that if we want our poetry to make an impact writing it to perform , we need a motive, a call of action, an agenda.

  • Who am I  delivering this message to?

  • What do I want to achieve?

Examples: Do I want to shock people, encourage people to look at solutions to the problem etc..

3)

Imagine a room( keeping in mind what your subject is) and put 5 points/Images using ‘show and tell’ language to come with up with  strong words.

Example:

  • tearing of flesh

  • frothing at the mouth

  • cramped

  • squealing

  • gunshots

  • insidious laughter

4)  Objective.

Place the victim/s in that room.

What are they doing ?

How do they feel?

Example:

I had two victims. I imagined a gorilla coming round from another bout of being sedated by electrocution. He was wearing garish make up – heavily made up blue eyes and bold, blood colour red lipstick.

My other victim was human – a female who happened to be dressed up in chicken outfit or as a bird. She had a morbid fascination finding herself in this  surreal room with this clearly broken ,macabre gorilla.

Next we had place ourselves in that room -observing what was going on

Example:

Horror, what do I do? , retaliate or fight or freeze. I was frozen on the spot. Upon reflection, this  is how most of society reacts to topics that make them uncomfortable. They become apathetic.

Next, we had to place the victim outside of that situation/ROOM . Different surroundings. Aware of what they have witnessed/ or know and how they react in a different setting.

Example:

I chose the female ,costume wearing bird human and put her in a cosmetic store. The emotions that came to me were  conflicting – this victim of societies idea of attaining beauty is thinking ‘ ‘I have a choice’

The next stage was to  put these  ideas into the poetic form.

Make a poem.

 Always keeping in mind what we want the audience or how we want the audience to react.

We were directed to to start to put together a poem of no more than 50 words, or certain amount syllables. The aim was to keep it short.

Keep it punchy.

On topic.

I wrote about  100 words – possibly more.

It’s okay.

Then we had to cut those words in half – 😦

I ended up with 46 words.

This is the  end product .

Carnival time!

Gaze  in the mirror.

Blue sparkled hues 

Red paint 

Blood fondue.

Do I look pretty enough for you?

Tearing of flesh.

Bleached in acid 

Gorilla Art

Reflection never part

Do I look pretty enough for you?

The true freak in this show is 

, indeed YOU.

Daisy Willows/ Natasha Bodley

Times up. Workshop over. Get back to real life  😀

Now, I have another to approach to  poetry when  I write.

Worth it.

Go me!

Have a great weekend!

Buy ding time

So many people watch and talk about those who they under estimate. By all means watch,

And learn.

Maybe you will learn how to deal with one or two of your own issues

A perfectly flawed Daisy Willows

I let us down?

Shadows betrayed with a mere glimpse of a frown.

No words can express the guilt dictatorship governing me

It’s not a cop out. I know right from wrong – I know this plea

Manipulations-sucked into the vortex

Epileptic fits, child crying for a place where dinosaurs indeed exist in the mix.

Buying time while losing our minds.

Insanity led me to insist this was the shortest cut to a state of perpetual eutrophic times

Heart attack — Jack missed his usual target in sundry extrapolation.

Too much — too much — afraid to not have enough-

Threats

once choice I  have  to have an abortion

…..or an abortion.

 

The value of life against a three digit number

is not worth the risk of  another loosing sanity – Look at that temper!

Fuelled by selfish, ridiculous acts in  percussive persuasion.

Sick of hurting the good ones in the pursuit  for a place in time where we are  not struck down by  our own damnation.

Heightened emotions — rouged the face of her grace .

Head  rendered poisoned by the one with the  latex face

Queer sighs — teary eyed.

Worth all this anvil chorus  shrieking out implacable aural instigation

The fear if a god had its grip on me – I would take the whip out on my vice with attempts of self flagellation.

21 days

my soul betrays all sense of balance –

5 years of drudgery for something that has less weight than a heart.

Lost in that maze of procrastination  — buying time — throwing out another seasonal  line.

Fear – it will run out-plans mystify my usual organised self — maturate until all evidence  of ejaculation is collected by its DNA component to outsmart.

Happiness leads to an oasis  dried up well —

See that camel over there?

she’s my final hope for a sip of redemption

Unusual  for a vegan to murder an animal for a quench of innocence-how far I’ve fallen —

two points away from extinction

Madness runs forever in a contortion

Fucked if I know how to talk sense into a cross eyed mass of exhaustion.

Pillage me for I am running low.

All thought out plans left in the bloodied soulless bodies of Russia’s war in winter snow

Front line-I cower-there is no courage in the how I dished out my packable blow

Left in a quiver — screamed by the knock of confrontation at my door

I do. I do I do..

If not for myself but for the one who I look to

amazed-

I observe it as one would in a zoo

Rueful

Meaning to be dutiful

This reflection is the antithesis of beautiful.

How long can love last?

when the tokoloshe is cross examined for its  denied  attempt at buying its time

or trying to convince that biding echoes are indeed in the indefinite past.

 

 

Hope’s unique gravity

I just wanna do my thing.

I don’t wanna hurt nobody or anybody with the way I decide to go.

I’m all heart – Sensitive a subject of the dark arts but in truth, I can’t really stop the blood flow;

coursing through my veins. I don’t need blood clots to interfere with my emotions.

I like to feel.

From time to time, circle crops set up home on my turf – I’d like to say it is an alien probing and feign ignorance, I  can’t deny  the familiar  weight of sentimentality  surgery.

Unforgettably  invasive- it is real.

Paranoid thoughts – tension is all I have set  on my watch dial. I know I have not been Santa’s best girl every time.

Honestly, I do enough good to save me from paying for another crime.

Honest intentions. Soul soft and pure. Warped sense of humor.

Bold, moody, loving ,trusting, overly sensitive cysts congregate into lumps, deciding on the logistics and geometrics, of developing a  cost effective  tumor.

Screams above – Take me – unleash me from the scourge of hell that I find my feet clad in cast  iron.

No one else can cut the chain. Raggle out that last breath.

Breathe life into a place  for the ones who seek redemption in their conceptualized   Zion.

Fighting spirit. Fighting a war. A battle within – Gore – more gore .

I deplore.

I abhor.

Is this really all she has to show for herself  and sell on the haggle market shop floor?

Brecht. Disconnect.

Fayre .Disrepair.

Coquette. Disinfect.

eclair. Declare.

Life takes us down alleys where the shit tide threatens to pass the neckline.

Think quick, Grasshopper – put that cap on backward and move into  a new gear. Time to engage and decline or re-define.

Shattered thoughts. Media social networks taunt.   Pull the plug. I’m  done with the fictitious lives.

Comparisons in a house of distorted mirrors. Insecurity breeds, incubate in these surroundings – glass shatters – contaminating other entities- is how it   thrives.

Worry,

Worry,

about not the friends who are not .

Worry about the ones who  are in ‘yours truly’ life and are what you would call ‘your lot’.

Happiness is not a concept. Dolce and Gabbana shoes heighten the germicidal  sensation of  Dopamine overload syndrome- early onset.

The human touch, the words we use. More lasting splendor than debiting additional  digits from your visa card, in an attempt, to feel less deprived. Wage a bet.

Birthdays are for celebrating –  don’t ignore the day you  not only gasped but grasped your first true breath.

It takes skill to meander through the valleys, hills, low-lying turnstiles, the rabbit holes of seemingly eternal strife.

You have passed by many  costly  troll bridges –  and managed to get away with what is most sacred – your life.

Another day  has passed – look at what you have done not what you have lost.

Focus on your strengths, not your adversaries – no need to subject yourself  to more savage beatings at an unnecessary cost.

No motivation – it’s okay,we all have these moments thinking we have forever lost our precious marbles

Get back on the wheel and break dance – do a wheely – show off that you have emerged from the eye of the storm – scarred but intact .

 Be pleasant,smile  it’s okay you’ve got this .Thank the alert, coast guard marshalls.

Live. Eat. Pray.

or

Give. Beat.Stray.

whatever you do,

always have your say.

 

Truth Terrorism

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Oh yeah baby – all I am asking for is a little bit of respect…. ( totally dancing on my own in my room – may just grab my hair brush )

TOTAL RESPECT to a very good mate of mine on Word Press for this award.

Who doesn’t know Paul ?

Talented, generous and a born fighter. I have a lot of time for this dude. Look at this face what is not to love?

efa87b1cb1a13e6ddd8edad58dcee694
PAUL AND THE INFAMOUS DAPHNE

Don’t let the title of  his Blog put you off – this is not all about fitness but it will put you through your paces. Or should I say Paul will.

wwwpalfitness

To train or not to train      – check his Blog out!

So a respect award is pretty fucking awesome right? I want to thank Michelle for nominating me for the one lovely award Blog. I recently just accepted this so I have decided I am going to give this award to some one else I think is awesome.

GUESS WHO?

one-lovely-blog-award-rules

SIMPLY ETTA D.    Your quotes  have inspired me and helped push me to move forward.

Here she is : I forfeit my award from Michelle  @ PSYCHEDELIC BAY -WHERE HOPE IS REAL   – Small shout out to her partner in crime 😉 Cezanne. 

11731589_866838766739627_3022584227301488117_o
SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT 

Before I continue with accepting this really cool RESPECT award. I just want to let everyone who reads this that there is an epic party going on this weekend at Jaquies a cooking pot and twisted tails. place. If you don’t know her.

Where have you been?

afb404351ac564fefe0c580836307204

 

Ha ha. She is another great inspiration and my Blog role model.

I also want to thank Linda G Hill. your  Saturday  soCS -stream of consciousness writing challenge. She  always prompts me to get shit out of my head and onto the screen.  You get me thinking out of my comfort zone which I love! ❤

Then there is the rest of you who I follow and who follow me. You make life that bit easier for me and I love all the different perspectives I read and the cool thoughts and ideas  you have swirling round those brains of yours – The Word Press community are full of heart. We are empaths and should rule the world .

What are we going to do tonight  ,WP posse ?

giphy (28).gif

giphy (29).gif

Okay so on with accepting my award from Paul.

RESPECT BLOG AWARD.jpg

 

 

THREE QUESTIONS TO ANSWER:

WHAT DOES RESPECT MEAN TO YOU ?

  • It means having faith and self love and self belief. 

  • Respect is about using old school style manners –  that will never go out of style for me

  • Respect is about boundaries and acknowledging others have boundaries and not to cross them and know when not too.

  • It means listening and it requires effort and commitment and compromise

WHO DO I RESPECT THE MOST?

I respect people who are honest with me. Who take me for who I am. I respect people who are true to themselves and are not afraid to stand alone when the shit hits the fan. I respect people who refuse to give up – the people who rise and fall and rise and fall and rise again.  I have a lot of respect for my Mother and my Nan. Two ladies who fought to keep me alive. I would probably  be dead today if it were not for their persistence that I could find a way to be happy in this world.

WHAT DO I RESPECT THE MOST ABOUT MYSELF?

Woah I guess…. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t hide my issues. I fucking embrace them. I am not really great at giving up. I like myself . I have a lot of love to give to people. I don’t take bullshit but I can’t hold a grudge. I try but I can’t -especially if it is some one who I feel or once felt a connection with. I hate conflict. 

ONLY THREE NOMINEES?

carpe-diem-and-fuck-that-shit

These are solely based on recent discussions I have had with these Bloggers.

  1. BRENDA  @CYBERNETIC BLONDE

  2. SERENA @ SERENA JOY SINCLAIR Lifelong Learner

  3. BROOKE @ theutopiauniverse

  4. LISA         @KIDSCRUMBSANDCRACKERS

  5. ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MENTIONED ME IN THEIR BLOGS THIS PAST WEEK. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIND YOU ALL ON WORD PRESS YET BUT I WILL……..

  6. T                MY LITTLE BIT OF SERENITY   HAPPY 6TH ANNIVERSARY TO YOU AND PRESH 

  7. QUEEN BEE @ I SING THE BODY ELECTRIC

 

 

 

Trapped

Motivation .

Deportation. 

What must I do with the tug that pulls at my rubber  heart like a current working against the frequency waves of my mind?

You’ve won a trip to wonderland!

Can I take my bed with me?  I’m finding it hard to stand. 

Look at your dress!  You are going to make a beautiful bride.

Everyone you  love is coming.

Heart and mind can’t you connect and just be normal and run with this ride?

Motion.

Potion. 

There must be something I can do to make me tick-tock  without the need to be  wound up every hour.

You have been Given 50 grand to buy whatever catches that mag pie eye of yours!

Can I take my bed with me ? I find it easier to shop if I  am in a position where I am flat and  can lie.

Look at the state of your current wardrobe. You have the chance to come home with bags of vintage finds!

Everyone will want to mimic your own inimitable fashion style.

Heart and Mind cant you connect and just be normal and and fall within the right lines?

Distasteful .

Disgraceful .

How am I going to get out of this  mind- full, conundrum soup when  I’ m not even given the correct utensils?

Look you have the key to happiness, it is my gift to you .All you have to do is unlock it!

Can  I take my bed with me so I can laugh  at your attempts to tell me what I crave is within me?  Let me have a snack and  scoff for a bit.

Look within you.  All you desire is hidden in that quagmire. 

Every one who loves you wants you to break free from this Sisyphus like dream state .

Heart and Mind  I need too show you how to connect again. I want to feel what my life reflects -allow me one last attempt to become everyone’s favourite   sunbeam, mate .

I need one last line ,

to make this life mine.

Again?

when?

Now.

I’m sick of living in a sand bed ,low tide -in  a place where chances of survival is hidden in an oasis-mirage like  den .