This guy can do no wrong in terms of creating a textured, engaging soundscape.
I’m trying to incorporate WRAP into my life.
My mental health took an obnoxious downturn.
The way I’m seeing life at this moment is that by having self-awareness of what keeps me well & knowing what my triggers.
Thus educating myself, Reinforces it into my brain by questioning what I’ve thought about . This helps me to organise the structure of my thoughts.
This will lead to knowing what structured thoughts to keep & discard.
Filter them more rationally.
Weed the garden in a manner of speaking.
I digressed a long time ago.
Wellness tools ?
What makes me happy?
Being around my daughter. Laughing with her and being more chilled.
By being more savvy and economical with money, I’m able to focus on my business with the retro clothes & handbags.
I’m wanting to engage with people in diferent ways again. I’m prepared to read and listen more to what other people say.
The sun shine is an element not to be underestimated in its ability to awaken our body and mind.
I’m communicating with my husband more. We have made plans to go out as a family . A simple movie & meal.
Time spent with the people I adore is time well spent.
This leads me on to my triggers that I’m falling back into my old ways.
Drinking too much/ any alcohal.
How I feel and respond or react to how I feel about myself after eating with my body issues ?
With an Eating disorder ( and like many illnesses), the only time people like you & me have a break is when we sleep.
If we sleep?
Sleep is a huge trigger for how I function.
It’s the only time we get a break from out thoughts & our life whom we share with others.
Willingly or unwillingly.
Please, fly with those birds who scintillate your soul into an exquisite murmuration.
Is it a blessing or a curse having insight into our various issues?
I’m keeping busy.
The sun is shining & I have a purpose.
Life is tough. I love to find the happiness that comes with the simple pleasure that my family and I deserve.
Top of the morning to you all!
It feels good to be able to type away with no worrying about any trains or buses or rides to catch.
This weekend I get to catch up on reading your blogs -YAY!
I have missed you all so much. I can’t wait to throw myself into my Masters.
I always feel I come across so smug when I say it or type that word but I have worked my ass off to get to this point.
Proper catch up with as many of you as possible this weekend.
For those who know -I DID IT!
I am now able to officially and skillfully co -facilitate WRAP groups( wellness recovery action plan program) to help people who have mental and physical issues or have had at one point,to manage their lives- holistically.
It’s not a therapeutic based program. It’s truly a chance to revolutionize the way we deal with our health in the current Diagnostic,clinical, prescriptive , doctor is always right model we use.
erm.. I nearly didn’t do this program because I felt I wasn’t in a good place mentally or physically, however by going back to my own WRAP plan ,
I remembered a few of my own wellness tools ( things that keep me well) . To share a few:
putting myself out of my comfort zone ( public speaking alert/thinking on my feet/making myself vulnerable to empower others)
volunteering my time to skill up and be a person who is an active part of my community and who is wanting to share my knowledge/experiences and pass information along with others.
So, pushing myself by doing the WRAP facilitating mental health recovery program, using the key concepts and ethics to show that people who experience mental health( good and bad), with support and without judgement, can find new ways of coping with life and their issues that empower and give them back the responsibility for their own mental/physical health.
If that is what they want.
It is possible. I’ve seen it work over and over again. I work it.
It was heavy going. I was thinking on my feet a lot, not much time to prepare things ,put on the spot, practicing presenting skills, facilitating skills, listening skills. There is so much I could put down.
I lost a lot of my self-confidence -3 months ago. On a positive note,by pushing myself and challenging myself to do this program at the next level, it has helped me find my inner confidence again, I’ve started to believe in myself again, I remember how far I have come. The future has so much in store for me because I choose it to be that way.
I want this to be a really positive post. I have these lyrics in my head: ‘don’t be negative (negative) just be positive (positive)’
ha ha! How am I doing?
Tbh. I am relieved the training is over. I can now concentrate on my next goal – my MA in creative writing. EEEK!
Then, I can start using extra hours in my Life to help form a WRAP community in Calderdale, U.K. ( which is where I currently live).
This is the wonderful group of individuals I had the opportunity to work with. I have had their permission to put this pic up on my blog.
Here is me with a bunch daisies I found in the garden .
I am going to end it on a high.
I’m going to be a bit selfish.
Yesterday, we (including the WRAP training facilitators who run the group) each had a turn to write down our thoughts about each person we have worked with on the five-day training course, using strength-based feedback.
It’s not as cheesy as it sounds because I know I am my own worst critic and I know I am not alone in that.
This morning, I have read the comments people wrote on my name tent. I’ve decided to reinforce these comments in my mind, by typing them into this post.
Yes, yes I am bigging myself up – no one else is going to do it. My husband says I need to blow my own trumpet. In his Yorkshire accent, he goes :
” Ya bloody earnt it.” ha ha!
Here they are:
‘Tasha, you have a passion for growing and will be great helping others’
‘vulnerable but strong,empathetic,powerful,enthuisiatic,’
‘Tasha, you are an absolute star! Your openness and insight are inspiring. I feel priviliged to know you.x’
‘You are an inspiration to us all- your story is one of Strength and Hope. It has been a real pleasure working with you this week. Thank you x’
‘Tasha, your courage and Strength has been a shining light in this group.I have seen you listen, learn and grow.’
‘Tasha, you have shown strength and individuality. Keep on going’
‘Great to meet you, warm and friendly person’
‘Well done Tasha, for having the courage and Strength to complete the training course. You will be an asset to any facilliator team. Share yourself and your journey so far.’
‘You are a genuine individual. Never change x’
‘Natasha, I know you have had it hard.You are one strong, beautiful lady. Please look after yourself.x’
‘Tasha, your capacity to grow and learn means you are definitely going too be a great facilliator. Your empathy stands out like a light’
‘Tasha, what a journey you have been on and I only know snippets. It’s clear to me you are a strong woman. I love your vibrancy and individuality.I also thought we made an awesome team x’
”Natasha, Don’t change who you are! Don’t doubt yourself ever again. You’ve shown kindess,compassion and consideration to everyone this week.I would love to stay in touch and see you again in the future.Girl done Good!. x
HAVE A FAB WEEKEND!
LOVE DAISY XOXO
Yeah, I’m obviously not going ignore that it is WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY -especially considering the work and training I have been doing this week, around Mental Health Recovery embracing the 5 key concepts to the
HOPE-People who experience mental health difficulties get well, stay well and go on to meet their life dreams and goals.
SELF-RESPONSIBILITY– It’s up to you, with the assistance of others, to take action and do what needs to be done to keep yourself well.
EDUCATION-Learning all you can about what you are experiencing so you can make good decisions about all aspects of you life.
SELF-ADVOCACY-Effectively reaching out to others so that you can get what it is that you need, want and deserve to support your wellness and recovery.
SUPPORT – While working toward your wellness is up to you, receiving support from others, and giving support to others will help you feel better and enhance the quality of your life.
I’ve been so inspired, comforted, shocked and angered by the stories I have heard this week. Every one of us has been through shit- the same clinical diagnoses come up again and again, being drugged, feeling ashamed, stigmatized.
Being called crazy for acting in a way where obviously a person’s mental health is not good for whatever reasons .
Still, we live in this society. With this Victorian -lock them away, throw away the key mentality.
In my life, I have met people from all walks of life, ethnicities,religion, job roles/class .
I knew a physiatrist, (I have known many) who was not mine but a fellow inpatient,just like me. No one will know who I am on about. It was many years ago and nobody who knows me today and who I connect with today will know this person.
The thing with suicide – it can be intentional and unintentional – a quick act or an act that goes on for years until eventually, Grim reaper does come to collect .
Usually, there are years of pain and suffering and wearing the ‘I am ‘normal’ mask, not like – them – the “crazy” -unwell people, before someone does intentionally/unintentionally ends their life .
“I only drink 1/2/3 glasses of alcohol, a spliff, a night/at weekends to calm me down/get a buzz .”
I’ve heard that a lot.
Why does a person need this kind of outlet and coping mechanism to chill or escape from reality?
I include myself in this.
Life is stressful.
We are not helping our mates, colleagues, family,friends and community by pretending this is one of the healthy ways to cope.
“I only inject heroin or smoke crack ,snort coke/Ket on weekends” It’s recreational use.”
I hear that too . These very words have come out my mouth over the years.
“I can’t cope with life at all and need to take antidepressants/ mood stabilisers/ drink/smoke/inject/starve/comfort eat to cope and deal with the stresses of life”
I can hear the crowd heckling and tsking already.
That person has gone too far.
“All in moderation.” I hear some people say.
Have you actually looked at what the ( ahem..) governments guidelines for how much alcohol you are actually “advised” ( doesn’t mean you should) to drink or the number of painkillers you should take and when you should take them ?
(if that is your “thing”)
Did you go out and buy a government ,custom made, wine, beer glass or whatever to make sure you are getting the correct dose?
If you look at your drinking glasses compared to what the size of the glass that is advised (if you insist on drinking something that happens to be legal), I think you may have gone over the limit.
In this context, The moderation theory is a fucking myth, in my opinion.
Food is legal – people get addicted to it/not eating it.
So is Sex. So is stealing – that is illegal, of course.
Why are we self-medicating ourselves in this way?
Ask yourself. Don’t point a finger at Bob or Tina next door who are total mad heads, crazy,raging druggies or whatever,who are always having a bust up.
Look at your own life. The own things you use to keep you well, that keep you able to make it to work the next day or not.
Keep you ticking over just nicely enough to cope with Lifes/ people’s unrealistic expectations of you.
Just a thought.
Do or don’t. I am not here to judge. I’m merely expressing my thoughts. I’m thinking/ musing– being human.
I know I come acrosss as confrontational in this post and maybe I am.
Hell, yes I am.
I’m pissed off at how society decides who is fit and who is a misfit.
There are so many other ways to chill, be happy , live.
Why do we (I include myself in we) choose ways that are not actually healthy?
Why do we alter the wiring in our brain? Numb our feelings?
What is wrong with feeling and expressing so-called “weak” ” negative” feelings?
Take a look at your friend, a stranger in the street/ family member/ the person who calls you crazy.
It’s not hard to figure it out.
Did you know that a person with a label of schizophrenia is more likely to kill him/herself before harming another?
Yes, self-medicating – drinking ,taking drugs to cope increases the chances of a person with a diagnosed mental illness becoming violent.
Think of christmas, bank holidays, seasonal drinkers who congregate in civiliced places to drink or even the illegal druk takers who congregate wherever to imbibe whatever substance.
I’ve been to these pubs/clubs/houses/parks/festivals/doss houses sober and seen what “normal” looks like.
How many of those people do you know ?
Do you know their back ground , mind state?
Really, How well do you know them?
Have you seen what what alcohal and drugs can do to a person who is a “normal” member of society?
“It was the alcohol , the prick who looked at me differently, the fucking coach of whatever sports team, that German/English/ French prick.”
What you put into your body will change how you act/perceive things and that is my point.
If I drink alcohal – when I have and done so, I tend to binge drink and I can “lose” it.
One last thing to think about, if you wish.
If I asked you to visually describe and give traits of a person who you think is likely to think about or actually take their own life,what does that person look like?
Here is a Fact: or about as accurate as a statistic can tell you.
The person most likely to attempt/take their own life,according to the statistic website I chose to use,
age 30- 64
method: firearm, strangulation, suffocation and poisoning
Previous Attempts to self-harm.
This is my husband.
I’m using him as an example with his permission, of course. 😀
Five years ago, he did fit into most of the criteria for being the person who is more likely attempt/commit suicide.
He thought about ending his life when he was bullied, in his early teens, in the neighbourhood, he grew up in.
My husband has ended up in A&E due to an injury he acquired intoxicated. In his case,skateboarding accident.
Today,he is not suicidal nor does he own a firearm( it is illegal to in the U.K.) He has not drunk alcohol in 5 years, doesn’t smoke or use drugs – he has never even smoked a cigarette.
What must I do with the tug that pulls at my rubber heart like a current working against the frequency waves of my mind?
You’ve won a trip to wonderland!
Can I take my bed with me? I’m finding it hard to stand.
Look at your dress! You are going to make a beautiful bride.
Everyone you love is coming.
Heart and mind can’t you connect and just be normal and run with this ride?
There must be something I can do to make me tick-tock without the need to be wound up every hour.
You have been Given 50 grand to buy whatever catches that mag pie eye of yours!
Can I take my bed with me ? I find it easier to shop if I am in a position where I am flat and can lie.
Look at the state of your current wardrobe. You have the chance to come home with bags of vintage finds!
Everyone will want to mimic your own inimitable fashion style.
Heart and Mind cant you connect and just be normal and and fall within the right lines?
How am I going to get out of this mind- full, conundrum soup when I’ m not even given the correct utensils?
Look you have the key to happiness, it is my gift to you .All you have to do is unlock it!
Can I take my bed with me so I can laugh at your attempts to tell me what I crave is within me? Let me have a snack and scoff for a bit.
Look within you. All you desire is hidden in that quagmire.
Every one who loves you wants you to break free from this Sisyphus like dream state .
Heart and Mind I need too show you how to connect again. I want to feel what my life reflects -allow me one last attempt to become everyone’s favourite sunbeam, mate .
I need one last line ,
to make this life mine.
I’m sick of living in a sand bed ,low tide -in a place where chances of survival is hidden in an oasis-mirage like den .
We criticise ourselves so much -it is always good to remind ourselves of our achievements, fun times, parts of our character that we know is good. The art of happiness is about honouring the good in ourselves and others. No person is responsible for our finding inner happiness. It is an art and is subjective.
QUOTES FOR THE SOUL
“Poems can’t judge you for healing wrong but a therapist could.”
If you always look downwards you will always see a pavement of despair. If you lift your head up and always look around you and to the sky you will always have many directions to lead a life of every imaginable feeling that is indeed the skies limit
11 EMPOWERING FACTS ABOUT ME AND FOR ME
I have a BA (Hons) in the Arts and humanities – majored in ‘Advanced creative writing’ and ‘Myth in the Greek and Roman Worlds’ & A post-graduate certificate in the Humanities. I’ve finished one year of my MA in Advanced Creative writing.
I have lived on three continents – Africa- Europe and America
I’ve dedicated many spare hours to working/volunteering my time with Mental health charities.
I have a Foundation degree in Acting performance that I completed when I was 5 months pregnant & in a soul damaging relationship at the time.
My cousin made me audition for the X factor because she didn’t want to do it alone. I sang ‘Nothing compares’ Sinead O’ Conner & thought I had a chance. I stopped halfway through “auditioning’, opened my eyes and looked at the judges- their faces crushed my short-lived dream of being a singer. I can’t sing at all.
I think I am an introvert but I come to life in groups.
People say I am witty and funny although it tends to happen when I don’t mean to or try to be.
I love music, dancing, going out, meeting new people, time alone, reading, researching and writing.
I never wanted to have children or get married. I hit my 30’s and ended up having my daughter & getting married without planning to.
I love people who can make me belly laugh.
My favourite flower is a yellow rose
People tell me I am too hard on myself, I am ruthless and need to take care of myself more
My dream career was to become a criminal lawyer/psychologist.I became a Travel consultant, writer and at times a jack of all trades -master of none.
I wish I hadn’t stopped learning how to play the piano. I love the piano and I love the violin too. I would love to be an Orchestra conducter