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Chiasmus

 

‘If it is true that soulmates should forever, always remain  happy together.

Likewise,forever, together, is a long time for soulmates to remain happy together.’

DAISY WILLOWS

*EPIC GRINGE* but  I have hit publish..  How did I do?

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Definitions for chiasmus

  1. Rhetoric. a reversal in the order of words in two otherwise parallel phrases, as in “He went to the country, to the town went she.”

Citations for chiasmus

What Phillips likes best, however, is wordplay. Inversion, circumlocution, alliteration, assonance, chiasmus, paradox: there’s nothing he doesn’t go in for. “The unexamined life is surely worth living, but is the unlived life worth examining?”Joan Acocella, “This Is Your Life,” The New Yorker, February 25, 2013

One well-known example of chiasmus is Quintillian’s purported phrase “one does not (a) live to (b) eat; one (b) eats to (a) live.” … Other examples are Mae West’s “it’s not the men in my life [that matter], it’s the life in my men.” And then there is President John F. Kennedy’s famous phrase, “ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”Joyce O. Lowrie, Sightings: Mirrors in Texts — Texts in Mirrors, 200

DICTIONARY.COM

 

A Potion for Complicated Emotion.

Moving forwards is easy to say.

Doing it though is rather dreary and I must ask is their a fixed pay?

 

Moving forwards helps take you from the now into the future.

Isn’t that better than being stuck in some outdated timed out computer?

 

Moving on helps you reconnect with family and friends.

Who knew reaching out would receive such a variety of hugs and vocal extends.

 

Moving forwards to heal the heart.

Is not easy when some one has wormed a way in and jolted it to jump start.

 

Moving on is the only way to go .

Its hard, especially when the tears refuse to flow.

 

Moving on when you still want to shake hands with your past .

Sounds mad but the heart doesn’t come with a free pass..

 

Moving on and each day will create more  distance.

Not exactly what I want but some other minds  can’t be controlled by my persistence.

 

Moving on need not mean to forget;

but it allows a space for that person to come back when they are ready to let go of their demonised, imagined debt.

* LEARN AND CARRY ON LOVING. LIFE LESSONS*

Finally,

I am trying to increase my word vocabulary so here goes: Use the word ‘selenotropism in a sentence or phrase.

“My biological make up, dictates that I can’t fail ,for like a flower, even on the darkest of nights, the moon will still shine and guide me to a state of selenotropism” ‪#‎wordoftheday‬

DAISY WILLOWS

Un done

Let it go

just go with the flow.

My mind comprehends all that I   need to let it go.

I change my physiological state to shock my brain into a newly formed hedgerow.

What about the heart?

My heart , specifically?

We all make mistakes and some fail despicably.

To assume, that one actually cares as much as I do,

was possibly the most arrogant act and now,

I  am that potato, left forgotten in the stew.

All heart – open to vulnerability.

I better change and put on a long-sleeved T-shirt

to wipe my snivelling tears and rejected mucus and hurt.

Heart sore.

I’m so naive

I do believe.

Let it go.

Just go with the flow.

I write because I know that it eases some of this rejection blow.

Stuck in a vortex with stale, carbon monoxide breathe.

How can a feeling of rejection make ME want to feel nothing- even death?

This is not me.

My emotions are struggling against the tide,

underneath,

 crustal plates continue to move at the bottom of the sea.

Climate change – is the world ready to blow?

Careless.

My nature is one who hates to be struck through the heart by a clueless arrow.

Why does it matter so much to me?

Why does it matter?

Why?

Full rejection would probably make it final.

Give me peace, answer me or just snap the cord – every vertebra of my spine – break me until……

Stillness;

is all I want in my heart.

I fight these thoughts but my heart drives me into some dark quagmire with loud noises from creatures that bark.

They snap too -not just at my ankles- but plunge their fisted paws, right inside the most fragile part of me- the part of me that is more like natures own bark.

Trees, flowers, love and hugs.

All worthy drugs from my from an undying lover;

 from someone who loves me even though I am crying out to be hung.

Cut me loose.

If you care – or at least answer me – I’ve given my all not just to be flung like Apollo’s impulsive son.

* what is better ? to be partly rejected or fully rejected? friendships, relationships, acquaintances?  *

What’s that saying about rather hearing ‘I don’t like you’ than being ignored.

I can deal with  ‘I don’t like you’.

 

Two hearts. One soul.

“If you are going to re visit the past make sure you don’t have any expectations. This is the best armour you can possibly have to protect you from disappointment. If you get something good from revisiting the past -it will be a surprise and a blessing” DAISY

I’ve learnt that time is indeed a great healer.

I believe that as long as my intentions are good and come from a good place then I don’t need no particular faith or religion in my life to direct me.

I know inside -already what is right and wrong. I was born with a certain code of ethics and life and the people in my life have helped shape and mould my beliefs and values.

I have got to a point where I am happy with my values and beliefs.

This morning I learnt a valuable lesson.

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We are not born evil.

We my do horrific things to each other in our relationships but relationships require hard work , commitment, compromise and respect and trust.

Love does feature and there is a saying that ‘love conquers all’.

I feel this quote can  only to be true when we know what true love means and what true love asks of us.

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Sometimes we say we love someone, for fear of being alone or because we are scared of not having some kind of attention.

 I am so blessed today as every day.

Especially today.

I have a beautiful family and we are all going to be able to take on the same name- the traditional way.

I will still be Willows on here but I will be Mrs Willows and our daughter and me will take on G’s name in the real world.

Today I received some fantastic news about this whole changing of names.

Thank you for not fighting me.

The past is the past.

We are never who we were 5 years ago, 1 year ago, a day ago or even an hour ago.

I was asleep 1 hour ago- not ready for today.

I am now Blogging and getting ready for what I need to get done today.

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We can be so ugly to one another when we are hurt, confused, insecure and not stable or thinking straight.

I’m so  blessed and grateful I have found my soul mate. We have an amazing child.

In 6 days time I  will let go of the name I have had for 34 years and take on a new name.

I’m so excited about this new chapter.

Sometimes we have to die a bit so that we can be re born.

It’s painful to let go and die..

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I’m ready to take my first breathe in my new life.

I know it is going to be worth it.

Don’t be afraid of endings.

Be excited that an ending usually means a beginning.

Such is the nature of life.

Like a circle we will constantly go through our ups and downs. We will be at the top of the circle sometimes and at other times at the bottom.

We need this balance .

I  needed  to feel hurt in order to know true love.

Blessings do indeed come in a variety of disguises.

 

We-Me and G- have been through so much and I still feel the same way I do about him that I did the first time I met him.

Oh he is a pain in the ass at times, stubborn and well… stubborn..

He respects me more than any other man I have been with.

Trusts me – we don’t have secrets even the worst kind .

He isn’t perfect but who is?

These are my words for today.

 

Will dance for Life.

“To become a spectator of one’s own life is too escape the suffering of life” OSCAR WILDE

My G found an awesome Oscar Wilde Quotation Book for me in a charity shop.

Last night, I came across this quote and I began to ponder on  it. I went to bed with it in my head. It is obvious to me that I have been a spectator when I was taking drugs or drinking too much.  Yet, I was still suffering.

I think the way I dealt with social services when I was proving myself as a worthy mother  was a time when I should have suffered the most.

I didn’t cry every night. Hardly ever.

I didn’t go drinking and getting high and over dosing every night or even every 6 months.

I began to watch my life unfold.

I was actively participating in it but for a while  my mind needed breaks- binge watching horror  movies, stand up comedy and other series .Learning to eat properly  again and not party.Take my medication even though it makes me put on weight.  I couldn’t be a Brecht- like spectator 24/07

I learned to live an almost hermetic existence. I  DID became closer to my Mom and my hubby to be  and I found out a lot about who I really am.

I couldn’t throw myself in the whole emotional vortex,  that was my life 24/7  because I think I  would still be in it.

I had to take it day by day.

Moment by moment.

I had to become an active spectator because I had a  choice to make. We always have a choice to make.

Of course on some level I must have suffered not being able to see my daughter for more than 10 hours a week for 16 months.

But the more I stopped looking at social services presence in my life as an invasion. I began to observe them as they did with me and the relationship dynamics began to change.

It’s a most surreal idea to say I never suffered when I was fighting for my daughter.

When the control of how I governed my life needed a full 360  degree turn. The control became about governing myself.

I did have moments where like a spectator I cringed and was brought to tears and “oohed” and “aaahed” .

 It was like listening to a song that disarms you for however many moments.

All songs end eventually.

Then, I was free to spectate again.

Sometimes not knowing what to do and just doing what I felt was right is what I think  saved me.

I called social services – MY UNWANTED ENTOURAGE.

It was our very public  joke .

Because let’s face it -if I  am ever going to need an entourage -I am going to pick a  P.A., a hair dresser, make up artist, editor, child minder,accountant etc…

But on the other side of the coin if you remain a mere spectator in your own life –

yeah sure you  won’t suffer,but

you might just  forget to feel.

If I can’t feel then what is the point of getting married?

Having children?

Having friends?

If I can’t participate in life because I am scared I am going to be let down then that is just a cop out.

When I risk the chance of suffering or potentially being let down or hurt…

If I participate, I have  half a good chance to make things right.

I get to fight for who and what I want in my life.

So suffer we must but the rewards, on the upside ,are the people we have around us and the experiences we get to feel that makes suffering worthwhile.

There is a saying – it goes something like this:

“How can we be so sure to ever know  and appreciate true happiness if we have never experiences disappointment and unhappiness?” 

I have learnt to take more risks with my heart and I have become a more open and aware person.

Yes, when we love others – friends,family – our partners…

There are going to be rough times.

Just be there.

You don’t have to give advice.

Just listen and check in every now and then.

If you want some one in your life.

Ask that person  to to be there.

They can only say Yes or No.

More to gain than lose if your heart’s intentions are good.

These are my thoughts on this stunning, sunny ,Spring Bank Holiday Monday.