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These are my words 2

It’s not dementia

Some folk say I speak too much

I say that’s rich.

 

I’m not even 40 years old & my bones are crumbling

Hind sights a bitch

Hell – a sight so unappealing

it brings me out in an itch

A rash of nervous eczema.

 

Today is my first adventure

with my partial denture

Like life, it’s only temporary

at least I’m not doing time in a state penitentiary

 

I can’t speak

this foreign object prevents me from talking

properly

 

The older I get I realise how naive I was to forget

that my mind is my greatest asset

 

Body, I love you

Looks? you’ll do

I’m yet to find perfection

I’ve almost given up on the pursuit of it

boohoo

 

What is beauty?

Judge we do under a unique hue.

 

Age has its wicked way with us all eventually

I’ll never let go of my character to laugh, be stubborn

go against all adversity

 

No, I  still won’t conform

The shy girl will not come out to perform

 

Inside my pride has been wrenched out of me

And I laugh at the old me

I laugh cos we are so beautiful

We just can’t see what others never fail to see.

You starring yourself

titled  ‘back in reality ‘.

 

We exist to serve the Gods?

I’m always going on about how resourceful people can be but I am  so high fiving the Tikopians.   The original true opportunists.

In the Pacific island live a small number of people who have dwindled away since the 1950’s, when Christians were on their Jehovah like mission to convert all people to their religion.  Sadly these people didn’t have a

‘We don’t open doors  to Christian people’ .sign and doors are are lot sturdier these days.

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These people would originally  do two -week rituals a year  which they called undertaking ‘ the work of the Gods’

These Gods don’t ask for much of our human time, do they?

The idea  behind  the rituals was that it was kind of like a  currency exchange in the form of:

I  indulge you and work for you and you provide us with what we need to survive.

 A great system of trade – fair and legit enough, don’t you think?

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Okay, Daisy, What is so awesome about these people that make you want to high five them?

This is genius! Okay here is how this religion was structured:

 Let’s pretend I am a Tikopian. I check my watch /sundial and  I’m thinking –oh boy, time to do some work for the Gods to please them. 

So, I think to myself –I’m not shy of work. I see a canoe. That looks like it needs fixing and I fix it.

I look at my soil and think  –Aaah yes, what a good time to plant those vegetable seeds I bought a while back….

I do a bit of gardening.

I’m sweating, I wipe my brow. I look up to the heavens. Crying out

“Look at all this work I am doing for you”. I get a few treats and a potent drink of kava and offer it to the Gods.

I know that they are not as consistent as say , Santa Clause. Unlike Santa Clause these Gods don’t take a sip of their drink or nibble at the food left out for them.  I could interpret this as being highly ungrateful, or

I go to the place where I placed my offerings and I say

” Gods! I see very clearly now. You must eat only ‘in essence’. I know what I shall do,I will eat and drink your offerings in the presence of your grace”

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I’m feeling a bit tipsy but I have worked hard and the Gods are happy.

Some time passes, I’m seen out having a leisurely canoe ride, my plants are harvesting and my people can’t understand how I can prosper so much when I consume the god’s offerings and work for my own gain under the guise of working for the Gods.

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My people shout my name and want answers. They have been self-flagellating or praying or chanting or whatever during their two week ritual of working for the gods.

I steer my canoe back to the shores and jump out of it and walk towards my people. They form a circle around me. I say:

” I was asked to take part in some work on this work for the Gods ritual, was I not?  I fixed my canoe and tended to my harvest. Is this not work?”

No one can really argue with me.

My people ( the ones who catch on quickly) start to look at me differently. The look is one that makes me feel like I have elevated my status. I’ve been rewarded by the Gods not punished. I am  now seen as someone with great  privilege.

So why am I high fiving these people?

Well, they used these rituals  with the Gods to create a social and economic structure within their community.  They saw an opportunity  to help their community to thrive and stick together in the name of their Gods.

These  rituals and how they approached them held the Tikopian society together.

Now you have got to applaud such cunning and resourcefulness from so-called primitive people.

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Beliefs (5)The Gods desire blood..

*DISCLAIMER. I WRITE NON ACADEMICALLY AND TRY AND BE WITTY”

Most of us know sacrifices happen in religion but  don’t you go giving them all  the credit. This notion/idea of  sacrificial ritual goes as far back as the Aztec’s and Maya people in Mexico.

These two  peoples held similar beliefs.

They thoughts that the Gods had shed a shit load of blood in order for the humans  to live in this world,  they felt it was only noble that they return the favour. So far very gallant.

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This creation myth goes something like this:

The Aztec’s believed that the Gods had destroyed four suns (eras) and  the God of wind-Quetzacoatl and his  shady accomplice –Tlaltecuhtli. ( I am so glad I am not standing in front of a bunch of people giving a presentation trying to pronounce theses name. The pluses of being a writer : D

In order for the humans  to have everything they needed to survive..

  • Trees

  • Gardens

  • Grass

  • Fountains

  • Wells

  • Mountains

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A great sacrifice had to be made.

Roll in the Greek Goddess/ God (always bloody women :D) – the two characters above with the unpronounceable names ripped her body apart!

Ripped he body in half! She howled in agony-

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 She may have said this or something like it.She did make a pretty fair compromise, she said:

” If I have to go through this savagery  to make  a new heaven and earth;then I want  pumping,bloody, human hearts to endure this.”

Okay so far -pretty bloody.

There is a tender moment to this creation myth. All future sacrifices had to include blood. So to create a new awesome planet- no global warming, plastic floating in the sea, poisoned fish.

The first stars were born from the blood of Quetzacoatl’s tongue.

How romantic?  erm……..

How did that happen?

He felt like  he wanted a tongue ring and pierced it himself. I am not sure how  hygienic that is so please please always seek a professional tongue /body part piercer.

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A fifth sun was needed and so  Tecuciztecatl and Nanahuatzin moulded together and   made themselves  into a funeral pyre and became the sun and moon.

A bunch of other Gods wanted to do their good Samaritan deed of the day 😉 and they gave their hearts to allow the sun to move across the sky.

Who need gas and petrol?

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The Aztec’s and Maya people were in  soem serious debt to the Gods. These Gods were the original   loan shark debt collectors.  The humans were forever in the red.

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Quetzacoatl had a taste for blood and he didn’t stop with the tongue piercing. He rebelled and he became the God of  under world. One minute he  is  innocently having his tongue pieced and then

boom! – the dark side has taken his soul …..

Okay I may be over dramatizing this bit.

This bit is true!

He scoured the earth for human bones and ground them (maybe) with a mortar ans pestle  and made them into a fine meal flour  with all the remains from the four previous suns/eras. He may have got a knife and sliced his wrist and let his blood drip over the human meal to make a new race of humans.

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WOW! Right?

According to the Maya myth.  It takes 52 years for a cycle to end. This end could be the end of the entire human race.

The Mayans huddled together in a group and brainstormed. One got a sheet of paper and a few marker pens and they got some ideas down.

An Aztec or Mayan  dude spoke up,

“Like okay dudes, this is pretty serious shit, any ideas?”

Silence  and poker faces moves past like a small breeze across their faces. Finally one dude pipes up. He may have lit a cig and inhaled it and then paused,  let the smoke exhale slowly – only for effect of course.

” Okay the Gods want blood? We want to live.” Lots of heads nodding in agreement.  Dude continues:

” There is this business strategy I learned in TED talks – it’s called ‘Auto sacrifice:” he motions for the pen marker to write that down on a sheet. Another dude’s face lights up :

“Oh yeah I saw that one. Good episode. What was it?” Scratches his head-trying to remember what was said”

Precious seconds tick by,

” that’s it! All we need to do is give the Gods our blood and then they will let us live.”

A pompous character at the back,  with eyebrows that appear to be knitted  joined in the middle,arms crossed says:

” Oh  yeah  that is pretty fucking civilized. ” There is always one with the sarky (sarcastic) comments. “

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The initiator of the auto sacrifice idea cries out:

” come on guys, let the juices flow. Get creative!”

Then seemingly all at once  ideas on how to auto -sacrifice come in thick and fast. Every group member shouts out:

” I have some sting ray spines we can pierce our skins with”

Another dude

“I have an Obsidian knife”  –

” we can pierce our ears, tongue, knee ,elbow” Some really creative dude chimes in:

” Our foreskins!”  the dudes visibly drew back but they were a proud bunch and really wanted to live and so that was put on to the brain storm chart too .

There we have it. I could go on but the I think I  have told the best bits.

 

 

 

 

Belief (3) Why do we die?

*Disclaimer I  write with a light heart and humour. I  don’t wish to offend anyone.*

The origin  of death- one view taken from Maori people in  New Zealand. When  the world started there was no belief in death.

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The Maori  always brings to my mind  this

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THE HAKA RITUAL BEFORE KICKING OFF A RUGBY GAME

There belief in  how it came  to be that we had to die is as intimidating  and passionate as the ritual war dance itself.  I type this with a smile on my face because I also can’t help but wish I could see how the opposing team keeps a straight face when the ‘All Blacks’ do the ‘haka’ – I mean it is not your average hand to the heart ,patriotic national anthem song is it?

One day  Rangi – the sky God and his wife  Papa, the earth Goddess had a child – -Tane. He took the form of a forest He grew up between his parents. He separated the two, because they forced him to live in the dark. Poor Tane! He may have had this thought

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This traumatic childhood brought out the worst in Tane. He had to conquer his fear of the dark.  He did this by becoming a monster – no one knew what he truly was. He kept all his dark, twisted thoughts in his head.

Until one day, Tane said

“Papa.  I think it would be a good idea if you and me ,well you know… get it on”

“Tane” his mother is shocked. ” No. this is not right. I don’t like the in bred  country folk look.I know you  are part earth and this is you country   but I think you have the whole language and music of love  ideaa wrong  ” .

She may even have been more blunt and said this:

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In my eyes this makes Papa super cool. Surf music, oh yeah! Play it too me.

Tane was like  -not having some mother Goddess tell me what to do! 

So, he found some mud, shaped it into a woman and  sowed his wild oats. Living in the darkness obviously didn’t give him any opportunities to express pleasure or meet attractive females.

The mud woman ( I think this was more a one night stand situation) fell pregnant and so Tane took his beautiful  daughter ,named her and married her.

So far, the twisted theme prevails.

One day she started asking questions about her family and she had a moment of shame.  She found out she was Tanes wife and daughter.

There are contradictory arguments about how she found out  but the point is, she had a conscience  and she descended in shame  into the darkness of Po –  the underworld.  So Tane may have said to himself:

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Hine -Titama didn’t know any better. She only knew something was so wrong with this set up.

This emotion of shame spread to the humans and so death became a place the humans would begin to frequent.

One day, Tane went to go and visit his bride/daughter. Something in Hine-Titama had changed. The darkness had changed her.

She said:

“Listen Tane -you need to stay in the light and look after our children. I will stay here in the darkness and drag them into the darkness, it is for the best”

Maybe this was the only way she could nurture and love her children ,by being in the dark. If they were dead – maybe they wouldn’t know of her shame and she could love them

Of course I am making this up and could be totally wrong.

After that conversation with Tane. She became known as Hine-nui-te-po- the Goddess of darkness and death. 

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What is missing from this tragic tale?  A……..

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CUE MODERN TALKING  SONG – MAYBE I DON’T  WANT A HERO…

Indeed, Maui was a hero but he was also a a bit of a………… mmmmmmmmmh

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Not you ! Him.

Hine-nui-te-po was having a nap. Dragging people to their death is tiring business. Maui decides this would be a great time to save the day and he rape the Goddess of the underworld.

I think he may have been a bit of a psychopath too. In his head he had  he may have had this thought

So, if I rape the Goddess of darkness I will be doing the world a favour. She will die. I will  make sure she does and then I .. I mean we humans can live forever.

Luckily Hine-nui-te-po woke up.

She had  put her time in the underworld  to good use -bench pressing and using arm weights. I think squats were her favourite exercise.

She  ended up squeezing Maui to death- with her THIGHS.

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She made sure that mortality would remain in the world forever and ever.

 

The end.

(ALL IMAGES SOURCED FROM GOOGLE IMAGES. I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR BEING THE AUTHOR OR SOURCE OF THESE IMAGES)

Sunday humour- I love to laugh

I think we can all do with more laughter in our lives. What have you seen that has tickled you? Please share! I love to laugh. I suspect I am not alone 🙂

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That’s for my mini me.

Eating at the table- as you do. My four year old starts talking about the end of the ‘skeleton dance’ . She has just got back from school. Concerned? just a tad. 

The Spanish inquisitor comes out in me and I realise she is telling me that Spring is coming.

ME: Oh yes, I can’t wait for Spring! Hate this weather

MINI ME: Mommy you are just going to have to be patient.

Well, what if I don’t want to be patient?  Little Miss smart ass.  

ME: Honey you know those monsters I said were not allowed in this house? well……………………