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Master of my fate?

What makes you anxious? – the cocoon asked .

Immediate response ?
I want to run away .

The cotton wool opportunity of turning into some thing I’ve never been fills me a desire to run.

I’ve always wanted to fly!
Darwinite if it means i can feel fire
In my belly
Leave behind the sycophants of past.

Presented with the discomfort before the freedom installs a stony face

A medusa

Unjustified punishment.

I finally replied: I want to run from your question because the master of my own fate made me question why I didn’t say I’m the master of my destiny

I sat on the toilet waiting for an answer

A tinkle

A brainwave to collide with my why.

Merely musing

I am merely mortal
Hence I will laugh at that which or who makes me feel alive

#thesearemywords

Hope-2021

Here I stand

On a mountain ūüóĽ of solid gold

Praise be for the choices I’ve made.

The toxicity of my past ends with recriminations with my inner foe

Self-respect glimmers

Good riddance to the self-destruction of the days now old

A clean closet reveals a door ajar

Bestows

a journey of new beginnings

If I vow to lift the cloak of doubt

Find the courage to replace it with hope.

Daisy not a death sentence

D utifully fights death with hope
A ccepts pain will help shed its old purpose
I n light it seeks for a rebirth – instincts prevail
S adness embrace – for loss will lead to freedom
Y esterday is a forget me not – a death sentence.

Nature is immortal

*Image prompt*
Swinging beneath the oak tree
I hear the tinkle of her laughter

I feel the breeze light
Peek through the tops of branches, undiluted sunshine ‚ėÄÔłŹflashes
it’s eyes looks down upon me.

Free,
In awe,

The sight of the flowers so striking

I remember them so vividly.

My gaze momentarily suspended
My heart
beats blessed to be in this moment.


Mother and child together preserved in this portrait

My memory states nature is immortal for eternity.

Truth

Tell me what you want to know.

Rainy days included, storms do pass

Under the bridge the homeless huddle around a fire trying not to cause too much trouble.

Together their eyes vacant, some stumble some stutter.

Hoping society will give them a second glance, a second chance.

Hope

We all have a different interpretation of what the word hope means to us.

To want something to happen or to be true, and usually have a good reason to think that it might

The Cambridge dictionary definition of hope.
So I’ve decided to think about what the word Hope means to me.

Hope is the ability to see the silver lining in one’s darkest moments.
Hope is about having the strength to hold on to a belief that no matter how scary and overwhelming life can be at times -we can get through those moments because we have done before.
Hope is holding into the belief that we can get better. We can grow and achieve our goals, dreams, and become the person we want to or aspire to be.
We all find different meanings in words. There is no wrong answer. 

I decided to start writing ‚úŹÔłŹ down words that I associate with the word Hope

  • Trust
  • Life
  • Goals
  • Opportunities
  • Achieving
  • Honesty
  • Love
  • Truth
  • Family
  • My daughter
  • Friends
  • Desire
  • Action
  • Education
  • Humanity
  • Creative outlets
  • Growth
  • Confidence
  • Emotions
  • Dreams
  • Fears

  • Here is 3-minute Acrostic poem I wrote about hope ūüôŹ

    H ear heavenly angels descent.
    O pen ears; wings in full flight.
    P assion stirred; Fears dissolve.
    E motions soar; new day begun.

    Second Life- Mort tell et tea

     

    * This Borderline poem was written a week before I attempted to take my life (again).I ended up in Critical Care  in a coma for 5 days & in ICU for a further 6 days. I was discharged from hospital on the 21st of May 2020 *

     

    Please, make sense of  reality.

    Use a stream of consciousness

    words to vent,

    rant,

    rave,

    A discovery in recovery

     Fathom out sense because words are only as good as the interpreter.

    20200521_0850322064238938547478683.jpg

     


     Could add literary success to a Gravatar profile  in  an ebook

    Add few drafts poured into that fulminate crunched up chaos.

    This doesn’t invoke a feeling of literary success.

    Trying

    Struggling to convey all words .

    Reciprocated words are often misinterpreted

    Misheard

    Another attempt  to convey these words

    Perhaps one person will see this array of affray spread its torment defecating the inner spiral case of the

    Mind,

    It swirls descends these steps in every way.

    The moment to call it a day

    This draws an outline forever have to have the last say.

    Hear me proclaim

    This

    Is

    My

    Life.

    Don’t want to carry on living this way

    Shame lingers

    It overstays¬†‚ÄĒ¬†the bailiff ¬†texts for rent arrears

    Read,

    What is laid down?

    Listen

    I’m not done yet.

     

    ¬†Hanging by a thread it’s tethered

    Seen many days to identify as weathered

     Hanging by a thread

    This is my life purpose!

    Final chance to  meet my fate

    Waited for this all my life

    A  mystery date with a severed soul mate.

     

    Taught & tethered & weathered is this rope

    To late

     convinced

    I’m no tight rope walker.

    I’ve become my own word stalker

    Shoulda, coulda, woulda arrested these rants before my digress

     

    Covert corner

    Wait in this hidden corner.

     

    Evidently I’ve learned that survival is innate.

    It ain’t easy to digest the days I’m not blessed to eat from a plate.

     keep rising up despite a life times worth of trip-ups.

     

    Until I die

    One fine day

    I’ll face the final exit of my mortality

     

    I’ll know the truth

    Either way it’s gonna end up with a body

    Fatality.

    Subconsciously  know why I feel

    It’s called humanity

    What do I know about that ¬†damp dark corner entertaining souls I’ve yet to meEt?

    Going to have to wait for a future promising chance we haven’t dreamt of taking yet.

    If I lose all memory

     Forget those words  

    soggy, wet, lost to another realm of the bereft

    Lest I forget.

    I write to recover.

    Be happy or die trying.

     

    Simultaneously a resilient species & inconveniently inept

     

     

     

    Deficit Wordsmith

    It’s hard to be a wordsmith

    when  brain cells  are deficit in cursive

    I strain to see the letters

    I  see I want to get betters.

    If these are the only words I write

    Today, a ¬† better ‘morrow insight.