My thoughts on escaping the past

Bahtuhkid · my thoughts about the past When I think I’ve escaped the past I know my Ma doesn’t drink alcohol and she Sort of kicked me out without kicking my ass. My daughter cried Tatiana didn’t meow I came back to the place where I thought I would relapse I went to buy catContinue reading “My thoughts on escaping the past”

Nefarious dove

I’m searching inside for something to help define me All that populates is the emotion – Weak – inside me. Over and over – the word like  a strained bacteria multiplying in a temperate  simmering heat. Don’t want to speak -move my feet. Feel like a caricature  of a human being. Falling, Let me fallContinue reading “Nefarious dove”

If you wanna switch off you could

I threw it away Not realising I would come to call it my most favoured crown. Fascinated seeing my self riding waves of the guilt drowned in salt tears of rumination to the hilt. letting mom down all my fam too. Those who truly love me. There are but few. Hot damn! That’s better thanContinue reading “If you wanna switch off you could”

Instinct -don’t know how to be

Instinct them there eyes that sit on the side of your face where your ears shoot up from the top of your head. Primitive- does it have a capacity to learn? What is instinct? the ability to know if something is a good idea or bad? Is it just leftovers from another former homo sapienContinue reading “Instinct -don’t know how to be”

Thorn between two roses

In the twilight of that mind, Turntables blast out despair  Unable to fathom out her own kind. Two open-ended books splay their outward innards. Hesitant to accept the possibility of another perspective. Suppose there is alien life out there… That we can conceive of. An outcome for her resolve to never give in to herContinue reading “Thorn between two roses”

Cloud with clout

And in my darkest hours, when the air extingushes all light. Hopelessness hangs heavy, spongy and dense. Above me it hovers, a cloud with a fierce clout. I scramble searching to strike my last match. Unable to see what is right in front on me.I hear the mirthful tinkle of a giggling child. A purrContinue reading “Cloud with clout”


When my Kalinda sees her reflection  she flinches over jagged, ragged parts of a body discombobulated Staggered &  separate. -body parts sewn together haphazardly. The truth is stranger than fiction. How can it be? His soul mate doesn’t mirror the effort in his deeds. fingernails claw pierce fleshy skin -protruding  hanging  agape flesh separates fromContinue reading “Kalinda”

Only one

Honesty is courage pride myself on not hiding behind kabuki masks yet, I’m still hiding in the dark seeking out my whereabouts. A familiar name being called from a place I know I felt zen. I can’t manage to summon the courage to get in with the rest of them. Success should be kite high skittleContinue reading “Only one”

When OCD got messy

  Caught out -overindulging on sexual delicacies. Orgasming, glow in the dark visuals projected onto her Fantasia cranium mental ceiling. So novel. Walls cave in – was it just lust that caused her to make up all this fuss? Why did she do it? once. twice. three times? Her heart was consumed. ‘Rose-tinted glasses’ a voiceContinue reading “When OCD got messy”

Building bridges

“I’m not a wilting flower. I’m honest, so I pick a lot of fights. I’ve burned a lot of bridges.” Scott Thompson   SO WHY THIS QUOTE? I don’t go around the streets picking fights with everyone. I don’t go hollering ‘Yo mama is so big…….. I have always been willful and stubborn and notContinue reading “Building bridges”