Life is a set of numbers within a market of numbers
who in our moments of graphic growth grapple for an extra addition to our sum total of flock.
We end up divided by a minion of millions
A herd of expletive multiplication lost to the world
Watching her frock slashed by our greed.
We are the true savages running our mouths with inequality
The demise of the humanitarians philosophy .
Do not judge me
For my sapling survival
a birth of a scape goat to inscribe the words of a free spirit
With no country
I claim as my own
I am who I choose as my identity
No political movement can discriminate against my spirit
For I denounce those who cannot see the truth
In front of them
even when they kneel
The only divine death
With nothing to face.
The unknown scripture of abandonment sans fear
I suppose I, as a writer can be ignorant and forget how empowering and therapeutic being able to write is and how creative it is. This is is something that every woman should be able to access. I saw the results of the works of creativity in every face at ‘Behind the mask’ exhibition this today.
The exhibition was led by a passionate presentation by the highly charismatic Sharon Marsden from verd de gris
I spent most of my time in tears. All masks shed to connect with British white and British Muslim woman through the medium of poetry, their personal words and singing. Yes, what a strange bonding power it is to want to join in and sing with strangers.
All connected by our desire to be unburdened, it released even me from my cage. Today, I flew high and found my voice intermingled amongst a collective . I didn’t need to say a word. Someone already had and I identified completely. I had a taste of the 12-week journey these highly courageous women have been through. It reminds me of my own journey in life as a woman. I’m not alone. We are not alone. As painful as some of these emotions were to witness and experience the exhibition left on a high – I was carried away with a powerful gust of optimism and newfound courage to carry on in my own journey in life.
All faiths, all ages, all complex woman with the desire to be free from pain and to be free to show their real face and not wait for the words of acceptance . The message I took away is this:
This is me! take me or leave. I will not hide behind any more masks for you or anyone.
Here is my crane symbol to remind me that I too can be that bird that ‘flies to the heavens’
The crane is a popular symbol in Asian culture, and the practice of folding paper cranes for good fortune, healing, happiness, and success was popularized by Sadako Sasaki, a young victim of the radiation from the Hiroshima disaster. Chains of paper cranes, often numbering a thousand in total, are given as offerings at temples and shrines. The crane is also perceived as a bird capable of flying to the very heavens, and is said to have borne spirits of the deceased there upon its back. In ancient China, the crane was used as the symbol of highest-ranking officials.
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Wellness/Environment/Galleries/A-Spiritual-Field-Guide-to-Birds.aspx?p=6#JvmBs22BfFs8PL8B.99
Caged Bird Excerpt
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
Female empowerment is continuing well into 2016. NEW RECRUITS NEEDED FOR THE NEXT BEHIND THE MASK COMING SOON!
I have also been moved to boldly upload my first video blog. What better inspiration than to speak with female empowerment. Seven minutes long but no apologies for what comes from the heart.
Here I stand
On a mountain 🗻 of solid gold
Praise be for the choices I’ve made.
The toxicity of my past ends with recriminations with my inner foe
Good riddance to the self-destruction of the days now old
A clean closet reveals a door ajar
a journey of new beginnings
If I vow to lift the cloak of doubt
Find the courage to replace it with hope.
I’ve been on Facebook and Twitter this morning and came across this status update.
“How can a Utopian exist in a Dystopia ?”
( author of the source has rights to privacy without breaching any rights/ plagiarism)
“It can only exist for the minority and the ones at the top. One great way the elite create an illusion of Utopia is by conditioning.”
I get mentioned in a comment with this reply- from the author of the status update
“Maybe I have conjured up a perfect paradise in my mind. A place where there are love peace and happiness. A place where everyone works towards the betterment of everyone else. A place where people go out of there way to help and support each other. An environment where laws are just and true.
A place where truth, honour and justice aspired by all.
A world where equality, brotherhood/sisterhood and fraternity is second nature.
A place where war and the wholesale slaughter and genocide is abhorrent and inconceivable to all the inhabitants of Utopia. T
he Utopian being born in this ideological setting then wakes up one day to find himself or herself trapped inside this present reality of modern-day existenc”
I think: what an idealist- how can I respond? My Brain is doing overtime.
That place in your mind is a place in my mind of what I think would be the ‘perfect’ society. I don’t know why we need to suffer and why suffering continues to go on mercilessly.
I see so many FB posts of quotes about wanting to wake people up to what the governments of our world do, how we are slaves, To stand up and unite against all the injustice, the crime of pain. I have got bored with these posts for what is enlightenment without action?
I take small steps to not be so influenced by a world of decay and diseased minds and I am not talking about people with MH issues. We have been conditioned to be ignorant for so long that it has become an automatic default- we go to ignorance because it is exhausting to challenge our perceptions.
I still do it.
If this world we want existed how would we know we are happy? Do suffering and evil have to be a package deal to experience or wish for something better? I don’t know the answer”
What do I think when I re-read these comments? is, what do we as a society symbolise ‘Freedom’ with?
If you can picture the generous extension of France’s ‘Statue of Liberty’ gift to symbolise the centenary of the American war of independence and a symbol of the solidarity of French and the American friendship?
WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON BEHIND THIS SYMBOL OF FREEDOM?
The burning torch is the ultimate emblem of freedom. When I look at this statue and go back to all I have read about it’s the true meaning. I see darkness. I see lies. I see people thinking they are walking around with freedom, to be who they were born to be.
This symbol of fire goes back to Archaic times.
The myth of Prometheus – the Titan who made humans out of clay.
The Titan who went against the Gods and tricked them.
As punishment, the Gods took fire away from the humans and he stole it back and gave it back to the humans. . In occult terms, Prometheus would be associated with the name ‘Satan’ or ‘Lucifer’.
He betrayed the Gods and tempted to elevate humans to God-like status (in the context) of knowledge and free will. I use the term Satan and Lucifer in a metaphorical/philosophical way. He is the symbol of betrayal.
Helena Blavatsky explains in her classic occult work, The Secret Doctrine Volume 2 (page 244) that, “The allegory of Prometheus, who steals the divine fire as to allow men to proceed consciously on the path of spiritual evolution, thus transforming the most perfect of animals on Earth into a potential god, and making him free to take the kingdom of heaven by violence.
Hence also, the curse pronounced by Zeus against Prometheus, and by Jehovah against his ‘rebellious son,’ Satan.”
I’m don’t want this post to get too complicated. Here is a summary of my opinion of the duplicitous meanings of symbols of Freedom.
Freemasons/Illuminati – members, know the power of using symbols in business and in governments, to manipulate events so that these events go in favour for the select few. Guess who?
Read these quotes by Adam Weishaupt founder of the Illuminati ( he later said that he didn’t mean what he said)
“There must not a single purpose ever come in sight that is ambiguous, and that may betray our aims against religion and the state. One must speak sometimes one way and sometimes another, but so as never to contradict ourselves, and so that, with respect to our true way of thinking, we may be impenetrable.”
“This can be done in no other way but by secret associations, which will by degrees, and in silence, possess themselves of the government of the States, and make use of those means for this purpose.”
“The Order will, for its own sake, and therefore certainly, place every man in that situation in which he can be most effective. The pupils are convinced that the Order will rule the world. Every member, therefore, becomes a ruler.”
Us “commoners” are told that knowledge is power – yet they hide a large portion of that knowledge from us.
We are told:
Freedom is being able to vote democratically.
Freedom is wealth.
Wealth = happiness.
They don’t reveal how they use these symbols to condition us to think we are happy and successful. We are mere slaves and help a very small elite portion of the world’s population live, in an almost utopian life, of their making, creating a dystopia for the rest of us.
Most of us don’t know we are anything but free.
Think back to the decade before the roaring ’20s.
Victorian times – solemn, sombre, emotions in check moderation, void of emotion.
Then, BOOM! The age of decadence arrives.
Diamonds become ‘A girl’s best friend’-worn by all the stars in Hollywood –
The film industry tells them to wear diamonds. Advertise them.
The message: If you love me -you will buy me a diamond because diamonds = wealth and success which makes me feel happy and loved.
When I am happy and loved I am truly free. There is nothing wrong with this statement
This was a well thought out and executed propaganda. The problem with the above statement is we still believe freedom comes from external things. Cast your mind to the slaves mining for diamonds under the watchful eye of the corrupt Congolese Dictatorship. Not so Utopian and free for all after all?
Another symbol comes to mind when I think of Freedom. The dove. Here is a bit of information for you – ever heard of the term Augury?
The definition of augury is the practice of clairvoyance by a prophet or oracle or is a sign or harbinger of things to happen in the future.
An example of augury is a priest explaining a divine act.
An example of an augury might be the flight patterns of birds.
Remember knowledge is power. What greater power is there than predicting the future? There is no mystical bullshit – governments and people who have their own interests at heart, use the symbol of a Dove to signal that the future holds peace and love.
It is an Aldous Huxley -brave new world, brainwashing, narcotic to numb us.
All is well with the world.
I could go on and on so I will summarise what I have learnt about these symbols of freedom.
In my opinion,
True freedom can only be found within oneself. So far the best answer to coming up with a solution to this problem is denouncing all modern society and live in Nature and become self-sufficient and independent. I don’t see many people willing to give up their mobile phones, flashy cars, collection of fine wines, burn up a bunch of millions of dollars to live a life of true freedom.
A snake has the power to kill yet it can be’ hypnotised’ by a snake charmer…
Does a snake have ears? can it even hear music?
A snake has eyes and responds to what it sees.
What do you see and feel when you see the word FREEDOM?
Charlie met Esther on abortionist roe.
Hedges neatly trimmed – enough to dishevel a bearded vagabond to weep after his latest woe.
No coat hangers to gut the newborn sac.
Charlie stood for hours until her number came up.
rouge screen screams with a tremulous beep.
to strike the star lead role in a Bolly wood film deal.
Unsullied arrived in a cumulous cloud
stricken by a thunderous compulsion to wail.
Esther didn’t hear the bond lust, lilted scream.
memory hazed -by two fat ladies at gate number 8.
Efforts disarmed – inability to count down to the primal odd.
nebulous chlorophyll masked her mouth.
Envy immobilised to an unrecalled dream.
swinging on tyres.
Freddie Kruger caught in a static slumber loses nightmare credibility to a sterile clinic;
Action paralysing every unconscious scene.
Stratham, London-night defends to keep watch.
Both stumble upon a tidy little room – 1970’s style. No disco defiblerater harmonizing jolts to the beat of
‘ Staying alive ‘
Old granny hoovered up flowers chocked in ivy a patterned carpet,
Mist of lavender lingers. This bitch knows how to spray.
Don’t mess with the O.G.
Peppered, seasoned hair, non-linear lines carve out a facial narrative.
Don’t be fooled by this kungfu hoe.
desensitized to her strategy in a game of cruel cluedo.
It’s all so normal. It’s life, you know.
Scissors ready to stab a beating heart,
Positioned in foetal
Sucked out the uterus.
Tall walled wars.
Bricks bolster the Illusion of affairs in order.
Nobody is scrutinized so fiercely as the woman who maps out her own destiny – navigates the boundaries that her ideas can afford her.
The NHS paid for a private eye.
Two signatures deemed sufficient to see her through the hours of her sobering silence.
Shameless in her flowered disguise.
Ginger nuts, unsavoury tufts.
No, this wasn’t her nine month due – no ice cubes for killing in the name of freedom to govern her own vessel.
No need for pro-life Stepford wives lies.
Where would our saints stand without a dissident at hand?
Society sits down, protest proudly.
Part the veil of clouds
Peer piously downwards,
ready to strike thunderbolts of judgement.
Rain down booming terror tactics.
Esther cares not for their gospel band
Society sips, exhaling wafts of fair trade, Ivory coast coffee beans.
Privilege smells of a modern holocaust of starving babies in bony mothers arms.
Who said any of these women consented to consummate?
Penetrative obedience to the phallic statues erected in morning glory psalms.
What if God was one of us?
a scripture in the making.-
Touch and kiss the sky.
Would he become the true reflection we see, when we catch ourselves about to exhale the final breathe before we die?
Fantasies always signed off with a silver lining and promises of a rainbow.
Reality is cold,
winter serves a plateau of ice.
Frigid flowers are frozen in angst,
Rebel against their reproductive nature.
One full gasp.
If only a mere raspy rant leaves on its depart.
It’s either them or an urban jungle of homo sapiens collecting another free day ride.
Ready to infect ignorance on every global ocean that has shores that go out at low tide.
I just wanna be free from this heartache.
I don’t hardly know you and you bewitched me, yeah you bewitched me alright.
I know I can go acting all crazy – I have nothing but my insight.
Bliss bliss – just wanna feel this bliss.
I got scared I felt like I got bypassed – missed -dissed.
I covered my true emotions from you cos I was afraid you were gonna reject me .
See, I didn’t know…..
I didn’t know.
I don’t hardly know you and you bewitched me – yeah, you bewitched me alright.
Didn’t mean to cause no fright .
Connections were made when I felt your beat – it moved my feet.
You got me dancing – all I wanna do – all I wanna do –
is dance – feel these beats – merge , combine.
sublime – is that truly a crime?
I don’t hardly know you and you bewitched me – you bewitched me,alright.
I just wanna be free of this heartache.
Checked every lotion I got to remedy this potion.
Stuck in reverse.
My heart is not well versed.
All I wanna do is reach out – yeah, reach out.
I keep getting rejected.
Emotions are not my rationale.
I consume triple portions –
I am about to implode.
All I wanna do is reach out – yeah reach out to you.
I just wanna be free,
wanna be free,
free to dance and merge our beats.
Sensations to make me feel, something resembling a full pie chart -a work almost incomplete.
I know I can go acting all crazy. I have nothing but my insight.
This is my soul bared- naked as they day you undressed me.
I came to you.
Yeah, I came to you; bare, vulnerable.
I just wanted you to know – I wanted to you to know .
My heart can’t be reasoned with. I’m breathing.
It is real.
Not cognitive dissonance.
Laid myself naked and bare.
I just wanna be free from this heartache……..
* Inspired by…………. lol . I’m a tactile person*
‘I have given you words of vision and wisdom more secret than hidden mysteries.Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will’ Bhagavad Gita
Why have I chosen this quote?
For those who read YESTERDAYS POST- I STILL GET TO CHOOSE
My fears were indeed unfounded. I think of my psychiatrist when I decided to use this quote. Yesterday,
We are open and honest with one another. The beauty of this kind of relationship is he leaves the control of how I use the concoction of medication I am on in my control under his guidance of course.
I don’t know many doctors who do this.
Yes, I am on far too many anti anxiety tablets.
Addictive ones. I have been on them for years.
I know there is day that I need to get off them.
There never seems to be a right time. I need to create that time.
Doctor J. put the words out there:
” You are on too many benzos”
(panic starts its drum) .I acknowledge this.
We talk about factors that may explain why I am still not stable (as I have been) with my moods .
not eating correctly
been on the same antidepressants for over 10 years
the pharmacist’s mistake in the dosage one of my mood stabilisers
Benzo’s make you depressed.
So what is the plan?
Up the mood stabiliser.
Think about reducing one of the Benzos by a half -a tiny little speck of a half
. Follow up with my C.P.N. three weeks from now.
Gauge if the increase in the mood stabiliser is working.
Decide how I want this to play out.
do I feel ready to start reducing the benzo’s?
No! (my automatic response)
Okay, chill, Daisy there is no pressure.
GO back to the quote:
The seed has been planted.- I have received ‘the words and vision more secret than hidden mysteries’
‘Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will‘
It is only my will that can lead me to true freedom.
How many other doctors do you know who are like this with their patients?
He trusts me. I do honestly try to use the least amount of benzos in a day. If I want to have another child after I am married.
I will not repeat past mistakes.
My next child may not be so lucky. He or she may go through severe ,life threatening withdrawals.
I was ignorant the first time round. I have learnt the lesson.
My child is a daily reminder of what I wish for her and my future children.
So, for now. I get back to my passions: volunteering and training, get my confidence and focus back- then I am in a stronger position to make a decision that will benefit me in the long run.
I read so many other posts where people with Mental health issues don’t get the kind of support and trust I get.
Yes,I am blessed.
I am also honest( to a fault).
There is some kind of message here: Not speaking up for Fear and acknowledgement of how we cope, can be a natural reaction to protect our mind.
the word- petrifies me
What will I do without xyz.?
Anorexia and many other Mental health illnesses have a strong component of control as a symptom. The way to empower us to to give us some control over how we want to be treated and how we don’t want to be treated.
I put together a WRAP plan last year – my whole professional support team have signed it.
what makes me happy
early warning signs that all is not well
breaking down signs
post crisis plan.
WRAP TESTIMONIAL CLIP ( it may just be the best gift you ever give yourself or to someone you love. All it costs is a bit of time and effort, I contributed to this testimonial )
I think more mental health professionals should move towards this approach. When a person with mental health issues is relatively well, that person is the only person who knows what will get them back on track.
I know I am going on a bit here
if we do a bit of work on ourselves and find out what makes us tick -we stand a better chance over improving our mental health and our quality of life.
Just an opinion from a person who has mental health.
Don’t I mean mental health ‘issues’
No I mean – MENTAL HEALTH.
Do you have a mind?
Then you have mental health.
Different life scenarios and experiences constantly change, so that you are always sliding along a mental health spectrum between good mental health and bad mental health.
I have bills to pay and grocery shopping to do today, I neeed to get my booty in to action.
So for now, to a person reading this, who doesn’t think they are susceptible to poor mental health;
I propose an exercise.
A challenge, if you will..
Where would you be on the scale of mental health? ( good feeling 100% well – bad being 0%) if
your cat/dog died
you got a job promotion
you got divorced
you won the lottery
you child is bullying at school
you find out your loved one is dying from an illness
you win tickets to go see your favourite band
you fall pregnant
you need to move home
you are moving to a new country
Just something to think about.
Can’t wait to read what other people are thinking about, what is going on in your lives and everything thing else. Thanks for reading. Time to hit the real world and get broke!
*DISCLAIMER – I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT ANYONE ATTEMPT SELF SUICIDE -IN FACT THIS POST’S MESSAGE IS COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE*
SECRET TO HAPPINESS: Embrace your mortality
TRADITION: Dia de Muertos ( day of the dead)
DATE: 1st and 2nd of November
CELEBRATED IN: Mexico
Death- the greatest paradox of all. We know it will happen to us all but we don’t know what will happen after. What a topic for Monday morning! Maybe it is apt, you may feel like death today. Jokes aside. A lot of us a petrified of the unknown. Fear stops us from moving forward and letting go.
Maybe some of you have not given much thought about your own mortality but I am sure that you have thought about losing people you love. I have and it terrifies me. I don’t know how I will be able to live when my own mother or father dies. Thoughts like these – can cause anxiety and depression which leaves no space for us to enjoy life.
Us humans are a resourceful bunch and have invented beliefs and faiths about what awaits us when we leave our mortal body.
Today the spinning globe makes a pit stop at mexico. Mexico’s Dia de los Muertos.
The origin of this festival started way back – pre Hispanic times. The tradition carried on to the present day is that death and life are parallel. When a person dies they are not lost but can come back and visit their earth home as ghosts.
These ghosts are welcomed by Mexico’s earth dwellers. Tempted by offerings of candles, food, flowers and the opportunity to celebrate with their family and friends.
After the feast – there is a mass trip to the cemetery to clean up relatives graves and re -decorate them. The event is a happy one. It is not morbid and sad.
There is usually a parade of inflated life size costumes of skeletons with smiling faces ready to party. They get into the groove with a little help from Mexico’s very own professional ensemble of musical artistes known as the MARIACHI BAND. There are fun fair rides for children and adults alike. Shops sell cakes in the shapes of skulls,coffins and skeleton . What a wonderful way to help children grow up not fearing the idea of death.
MESSAGE: No, we don’t all believe in the after life but what an awesome way to give your deceased loved ones the greatest send off. It is a way of remembering your loved ones and in turn you will not being forgotten. APPRECIATE THE DAYS YOU HAVE LEFT IN THIS LIFE! Death must not be feared. It should be seen as the ultimate act of true FREEDOM.
(Image sourced from Google images)