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#FollowGreatFootsteps with Curious Queendom

Sharon Yvonne blog author of CURIOUS QUEENDOM  has an awesome quote on  FEAR and is indeed following those who  #F0llowGreatFootsteps

Sharon describes herself as insecure. Something I think we can all relate to at some point in our lives. She started blogging because it is her dream career and also to find herself.

What you see is what you get. She’s going to take you on a journey with her to be her own super hero.

Who wants a super hero when you can be one?

Exactly!

She has a fighting spirit and a wicked sense of humour. It may be wise to bring a spare pair of shoes when you visit. You will only found out why when you visit her BLOG

If you are serious about  blogging and want to make a career out of it. This is your go to lady- FIRST THREE THINGS WHEN STARTING A NEW BUSINESS

She get’s all the cool  awards.

She has a mixed spice of topics. There is something for everyone.

Self help

Motivation

Monday meme

Lessons learned

Notable blogs (she is a giver)

Her own personal goals 

life 

and everything that comes with it.

 

Conquer or be Conquered

“I have to keep facing the darkness. If I stand tall and face the thing I fear, I have a chance to conquer it. If I just keep dodging and hiding it will conquer me.”
Mary Pope Osborne, My Secret War: The World War II Diary of Madeline Beck, Long Island, New York 1941      

WHY I’VE CHOSEN THIS QUOTE.

I’ve been letting the dark extinguish all light. I have basically been a wuss. It is the start of a new week. Unfortunately this day starts with an M. but  go look outside your window. check  that cloud out and look for the silver lining..

My passion for life, just recently got ran over by a steam roller and flattened me out, Rolling me out like a  piece of dough, taking all the air- like passion out of me.

We all have our struggles. Shit, it sometimes a lot of the times may  seem like hiding under the duvet covers and growling at anyone who dares to step their big toe into my bedroom like a good idea.

How many times have we done that one?

What did we achieve?

what did we learn?

So how can I big myself up?

 I could hire out a cheerleader and personal mascot to follow me around for the week shouting

GO DAISY!  GO DAISY! D.A.IS.Y. -WHAT DO YOU GET ? DAISY! 

If I did this I may end  up in prison by the end of the week under murder charges for temporarily losing my mind and killing a cheer leader and mascot.

Imagine it. All week. That would drive me nuts!

I’m going to use my busy week to learn.

I know for a fact,that if I 100%

engage in my life this week;I will become bigger in spirit and character and I will learn more. I will evolve. 

 Come Sunday . I will no longer be who I am today.

I’m kind of nosy how that is going to turn out.

Change is good . Push yourself.

I think the idea of being conquered sucks. I know how much of a buzz I get when I push myself and I DO  what I set out to do. I go on a natural high.

I am usually quite successful in all that I  take on.

I’m worried that I won’t have enough time to be a Mom, partner and put the effort I usually do into my  blog and reading other blogs because:

  • I’ve got my hair trial

  • Make up re trial

  • Food tasting for the wedding

  • Run through for the wedding

  • suit hunting

  • ring hunting

  • dentist

  • Bella Bee back at school

  • long hours of group  facilitating  training  on Tuesday and Wednesday

  • More long hours of training with a different organisation on Friday

  • Exercise every day

I know it may not sound like a lot. To me it is a huge challenge considering how I have been feeling lately.

I’m so going to own this week.

Make a list of what you have to do. By all means focus on one day at a time. You don’t want to freak yourself out

Oh and please be fucking kind to your self. I hear this a lot.

GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR WHAT YOU DO GET DONE

Want to  be a part #FollowGreatFootsteps?  You can do it! I will review your blog  and link it to your blog website :) -check out the link above. It”s easy peasy.

Secret words

‘I  have given you words of vision and wisdom more secret than hidden mysteries.Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will’ Bhagavad Gita

Why have I chosen this quote?

For  those who read YESTERDAYS POST- I STILL GET TO CHOOSE

My fears were indeed unfounded. I think of my psychiatrist  when  I decided to use this quote. Yesterday,

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We are open and honest with one another. The beauty of this kind of relationship  is he leaves the control of how I use the concoction of medication I am on in my control under his guidance of course.

I don’t know many doctors who do this.

Yes, I am on far too many anti anxiety tablets.

Addictive ones. I have been on them for years.

I know there is day that I need to get off them.

There never seems to be a right time. I need to create that time.

Doctor J. put the words out there:

” You are on too many benzos”

(panic starts its drum) .I acknowledge this.

We talk about factors that may explain why I am still not stable (as I have been) with my moods .

  1. not eating correctly

  2. been on the same antidepressants for  over 10 years

  3. the pharmacist’s mistake in the dosage one of my mood stabilisers

  4. Benzo’s make you depressed.

So what is the plan?

change-you-plan

The plan:

  • Up the mood stabiliser.

  • Think about reducing one of the Benzos by a half -a tiny little speck of a half

  • . Follow up with my C.P.N. three weeks from now.

  • Gauge if the increase in the mood stabiliser is working.

  • Decide how I want this to play out.

  • do I feel ready to start reducing the benzo’s?

No! (my automatic response)

Okay, chill, Daisy there is no pressure.

GO back to the quote:

The seed has been planted.-  I have received ‘the words and vision more secret than hidden mysteries’

‘Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will

 It is only my will that can lead me to true freedom.

How many other doctors do you know who are like this with their patients?

He trusts me. I  do honestly try to use the least amount of benzos in a day. If I want to have another child after I am married.

I do!

I will not repeat past mistakes.

My next child may not be so lucky. He or she may go through severe ,life threatening withdrawals.

I was ignorant the first time round. I have learnt the lesson.

My child is a daily reminder of what I wish for her and my future children.

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So, for now. I get back to my passions: volunteering and training, get my confidence and focus back- then I  am in a stronger position  to make   a decision that will benefit me in the long run.

I read so many other posts where people with Mental health issues don’t get the kind of support and trust I get.

Yes,I am blessed.

I am also honest( to a fault).

There is some kind of message here: Not speaking up for  Fear and acknowledgement of how we cope, can be a natural reaction to protect our mind.

fear-is-not-your-enemy-with-an-open-heart

 

 

Change.

 the word- petrifies me

 What will I do without xyz.?

Anorexia and many other Mental health illnesses have a strong component of control as a symptom. The way to empower us to to give us some control over how we want to be treated and how we don’t want to be treated.

I put together a WRAP plan last year –  my whole professional support team have signed it.

It includes

  • what makes me happy

  • Triggers

  • coping mechanisms

  • early warning signs that all is not well

  • breaking down signs

  • crisis plan

  • treatment plan

  • post crisis plan.

WRAP TESTIMONIAL CLIP      ( it may just be the best gift you ever give yourself or to someone you love. All it costs is a bit of time and effort, I contributed to this testimonial )

I think more mental health professionals should move towards this approach. When a person with mental health issues is relatively well, that person is the only person who knows what will get them back on track.

 I know I am going on a bit here

but,

if we do a bit of work on ourselves and find out what makes us tick -we stand a better chance over improving our mental health and our quality of life.

Just an opinion from a person who has mental health.

Don’t I mean mental health ‘issues’

No I mean – MENTAL HEALTH.

Do you have a mind?

Yes.

Then you have mental health.

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Different  life scenarios and experiences  constantly change, so that you are always sliding along a mental health spectrum between good mental health and bad mental health.

 I have bills to pay and grocery shopping to do today, I neeed to get my booty in to action.

So for now, to  a person  reading this, who doesn’t think they are susceptible to poor mental health;

I propose an exercise.

 

 A challenge, if you will..

Where would you be on the scale of mental health?  ( good feeling 100% well – bad being  0%)  if

  • your cat/dog died

  • you got a job promotion

  • you got divorced

  • you won the lottery

  • you child is bullying at school

  • you find out your loved one is dying from an illness

  • you win tickets to go see your favourite band

  • you fall pregnant

  • you need to move home

  • you are moving to a new country

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Just something to think about.

—-Andrea-Nguyen-copy

Can’t wait to read what other people are thinking about, what is going on in your lives and everything thing else. Thanks for reading.  Time to hit the real world and get broke!

 

I still get to choose

Quick catch up on my life.

 Some of you may know that I had a bit of a blip with my eating disorder in the New year. I stopped eating for a month and became ill and obviously dropped weight, which wrecked chaos in my mind. I started getting panic attacks every time I thought about eating.

Anorexia’s voice managed to find the speakers I had hidden and   turned up the volume. Hate the death metal  music genre. It was terrifying. Where did it come from ? I mean, I ended 2015 on a high. So much to look ahead too with my

volunteering

 the eating disorder support and recovery group

my wedding in 12 weeks!

Saving up to go to Orlando

My pyschatirist who has known me for 10 years and was on leave at the time I was in melt down mode. I saw a different psychiatrist to ask for a medication change. The medication has helped a lot.

What hasn’t shifted is the sadness and the spark I have lost and that doesn’t seem to want to come back from harming myself for that month.

Today I am going to see Doctor J. I’m nervous as hell. I do use a variety of coping  skills and medication is one of them. I’m scared he will change my medication. I don’t know why I have this perpetual fear of my medication being taken off me?

Especially ,the ones that help me with my anxiety and sleep.

One day I want to be rid of all these medications but I need them for a while longer.  I have managed to keep a stable weight -19 bmi. shwee im eye….

 I’m  beyond fatigued of of this illness!

I won’t it to get off my chaise longue and fuck off. Leave it’s wiry bits of fur so I can suck them up with my vacuum and empty the contents in the trash.

Usually, my fears are unfounded.

Writing is another coping skill of mine.

I write this not in the hope that someone will think it is an epic piece of writing. You can  think this if you wish. I won’t say no to that thought 😀

 When I write, exercise ,eat, get out, read and take my medications -the combination is what works for me.

So this is the purpose of my post to relieve the sadness and anxiety –

If you have read up to this point –

REMEMBER

It is okay to  have doubt and feel unbalanced. Having a blip doesn’t have to mean the end of the world.

I am back on track.

I do want point out as a ‘mental note’ to myself and  for whoever is reading this:

is to consider how long it is taking to shift my mood and for my confidence  to come back .  Acknowledging this  might help me from not falling from such a high height if/when the next time my illness comes to stare me down in a dusty old town  – hands ready to draw the gun faster than me.

There can only be one cowboy in this town.

 So, Mental illness, if I am going to have a cowboy in my life I am going to choose who that cowboy will be and I choose this dude

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(IMAGE AND GIF  SOURCED FROM GOOGLE IMAGES)

Pearl fishing

‘Pearls do not lie on the sea shore if you desire one you must dive for it’ – Chinese proverb

I have lost my courage lately, I found this proverb. My volunteering life with HEALTHY MINDS picks up again next week. I will be doing a workshop on Monday, in front of a lot of volunteers who work with vulnerable families; to help raise their awareness of the stigma against mental health. I then start a two-out four-day training course starting on facilitating groups and workshops.  I’m also pushing myself to re-edit an article for one of the newsletters  I sometimes contribute towards. I’m also 12 weeks away from getting married!

It is okay to be scared and nervous. I won’t ( and you too mustn’t)let temporary fears get in the way of my ambitions and passion.

Take it day by day. I  find my lack of courage and confidence comes when I live in the future of ‘ shoulda’s and ‘couldas.

I am sure many of you can relate to this proverb. Let us go out with a bold stride and a sense of determination today :0

(Quote sourced from  Pinterest )

The Grim Reaper dance of happiness

*DISCLAIMER – I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT ANYONE ATTEMPT SELF SUICIDE -IN FACT THIS POST’S MESSAGE IS COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE*

SECRET TO HAPPINESS: Embrace your mortality

TRADITION: Dia de Muertos  ( day of the dead)

DATE: 1st and 2nd of November

CELEBRATED IN: Mexico

Death- the greatest paradox of all. We know it will happen to us all but we don’t know what will happen after.  What a topic for Monday morning! Maybe it is apt, you may feel like death today. Jokes aside. A lot of us a petrified of the unknown. Fear stops us from moving forward and letting go.

Maybe some of you have not given much thought about your own mortality but I am sure that you have thought about losing people you love. I have and it terrifies me. I don’t know how I will be able to live when my own mother or father dies. Thoughts like these – can cause anxiety and depression which leaves no space for us to enjoy life.

Us humans are a resourceful bunch and have invented beliefs and faiths about what awaits us when we leave our mortal body.

Today the spinning globe makes a pit stop at mexico.   Mexico’s Dia de los Muertos.

The origin of this festival started way back – pre Hispanic times. The tradition carried on to the present day is that death and life are parallel. When a person dies they are not lost but can come back and visit their earth home as ghosts.

These ghosts are welcomed by Mexico’s earth dwellers. Tempted by offerings of candles, food, flowers and the opportunity to celebrate with their family and friends.

After the feast – there is a mass trip to the cemetery to clean up relatives graves and re -decorate them. The event is a happy one. It is not morbid and sad.

There is usually a parade of inflated life size costumes of skeletons with smiling faces ready to party. They get into the groove with a little help from  Mexico’s very own professional ensemble of musical artistes known as the MARIACHI BAND.  There are fun fair rides for children and adults alike. Shops sell cakes in the shapes of  skulls,coffins and skeleton . What a wonderful way to help children grow up not fearing the idea  of  death.

MESSAGE: No, we don’t all believe in the after life but what an awesome way to give your deceased loved ones the greatest send off. It is a way of remembering your loved ones and in turn you will not being forgotten.  APPRECIATE THE DAYS YOU HAVE LEFT IN THIS LIFE! Death must not be feared. It should be seen as the ultimate act of true FREEDOM.

(Image sourced from Google images)

 

What a pansy.

So Pansy what is on your mind?

PANSY: two things… well if you ever feel bored, sexually frustrated or frustrated in general: try scrubbing your stair case and landing carpet at 7 pm at night…

Oh and whaaaa

PANSY: I’m not finished… next book yourself a manicure or if you are poor like me then do a DIY

So what else is on your mind this fine evening?

PANSY: I put my height, weight, age and Gender on a on-line BMI calculator and I have 5 kilograms to lose before I am a BMI that is classed as underweight.

Interview over.Pansy has left the building.

It has been documented that Pansy’s lowest BMI ever was 13 that is 30 kilograms.

Fed up!