‘I  have given you words of vision and wisdom more secret than hidden mysteries.Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will’ Bhagavad Gita

Why have I chosen this quote?

For  those who read YESTERDAYS POST- I STILL GET TO CHOOSE

My fears were indeed unfounded. I think of my psychiatrist  when  I decided to use this quote. Yesterday,

We are open and honest with one another. The beauty of this kind of relationship  is he leaves the control of how I use the concoction of medication I am on in my control under his guidance of course.

I don’t know many doctors who do this.

Yes, I am on far too many anti anxiety tablets.

Addictive ones. I have been on them for years.

I know there is day that I need to get off them.

There never seems to be a right time. I need to create that time.

Doctor J. put the words out there:

” You are on too many benzos”

(panic starts its drum) .I acknowledge this.

We talk about factors that may explain why I am still not stable (as I have been) with my moods .

1. not eating correctly

2. been on the same antidepressants for  over 10 years

3. the pharmacist’s mistake in the dosage one of my mood stabilisers

4. Benzo’s make you depressed.

So what is the plan?

The plan:

• Up the mood stabiliser.

• Think about reducing one of the Benzos by a half -a tiny little speck of a half

• . Follow up with my C.P.N. three weeks from now.

• Gauge if the increase in the mood stabiliser is working.

• Decide how I want this to play out.

• do I feel ready to start reducing the benzo’s?

No! (my automatic response)

Okay, chill, Daisy there is no pressure.

GO back to the quote:

The seed has been planted.-  I have received ‘the words and vision more secret than hidden mysteries’

‘Ponder them in the silence of your soul and then in freedom do your will‘

 It is only my will that can lead me to true freedom.

How many other doctors do you know who are like this with their patients?

He trusts me. I  do honestly try to use the least amount of benzos in a day. If I want to have another child after I am married.

I do!

I will not repeat past mistakes.

My next child may not be so lucky. He or she may go through severe ,life threatening withdrawals.

I was ignorant the first time round. I have learnt the lesson.

My child is a daily reminder of what I wish for her and my future children.

So, for now. I get back to my passions: volunteering and training, get my confidence and focus back- then I  am in a stronger position  to make   a decision that will benefit me in the long run.

I read so many other posts where people with Mental health issues don’t get the kind of support and trust I get.

Yes,I am blessed.

I am also honest( to a fault).

There is some kind of message here: Not speaking up for  Fear and acknowledgement of how we cope, can be a natural reaction to protect our mind.

Change.

 the word- petrifies me

 What will I do without xyz.?

Anorexia and many other Mental health illnesses have a strong component of control as a symptom. The way to empower us to to give us some control over how we want to be treated and how we don’t want to be treated.

I put together a WRAP plan last year –  my whole professional support team have signed it.

It includes

• what makes me happy

• Triggers

• coping mechanisms

• early warning signs that all is not well

• breaking down signs

• crisis plan

• treatment plan

• post crisis plan.

WRAP TESTIMONIAL CLIP      ( it may just be the best gift you ever give yourself or to someone you love. All it costs is a bit of time and effort, I contributed to this testimonial )

I think more mental health professionals should move towards this approach. When a person with mental health issues is relatively well, that person is the only person who knows what will get them back on track.

 I know I am going on a bit here

but,

if we do a bit of work on ourselves and find out what makes us tick -we stand a better chance over improving our mental health and our quality of life.

Just an opinion from a person who has mental health.

Don’t I mean mental health ‘issues’

No I mean – MENTAL HEALTH.

Do you have a mind?

Yes.

Then you have mental health.

Different  life scenarios and experiences  constantly change, so that you are always sliding along a mental health spectrum between good mental health and bad mental health.

 I have bills to pay and grocery shopping to do today, I neeed to get my booty in to action.

So for now, to  a person  reading this, who doesn’t think they are susceptible to poor mental health;

I propose an exercise.

 A challenge, if you will..

Where would you be on the scale of mental health?  ( good feeling 100% well – bad being  0%)  if

• your cat/dog died

• you got a job promotion

• you got divorced

• you won the lottery

• you child is bullying at school

• you find out your loved one is dying from an illness

• you win tickets to go see your favourite band

• you fall pregnant

• you need to move home

• you are moving to a new country

Just something to think about.

Can’t wait to read what other people are thinking about, what is going on in your lives and everything thing else. Thanks for reading.  Time to hit the real world and get broke!