In the shadowed shades of my blues.
I tenderly look for another who I can summon as one who lives life in honour,
Of all that is true.
Those who speak the spoken word in all its iridescent hues.
Colours drape my inner wardrobe.
Yet, I clamber for my grey, nuances of noir.
Catastrophizing all the whites for showing up my yellow gnashers.
Against a blustery pale backdrop of mountains blanketed by capped ice.
Brazen, I stand on the highest peak.
Cheeks misted by tears.
Contemplative in being joyful for the moments of inner peace.
Cast out this unwanted wardrobe.
No more colours in clandestine!
The drab shabby (not so chic) curtains concealing my true identity.
My makeup is not for every entity.
I’m asked to write the truest sentence I know.
Hemingway knew a way to interweave words worth more than bread made from the finest patisserie dough.
Scraping pennies to get by the hard knocks.
We do what we gotta do to get by.
Poverty causes ‘bros before hoes’ and ‘chicks before pricks’.
Keeping my pins steady as balls curve to nebulant sides — it incites fear into my inner stream of consciousness, dialogue conflicts –
Savaged by doubt and insecurity.
I’m on a trip with a Make believe demeanour.
One to conjure up more stamina and longevity-
To warn my inner Hecate to hesitate before she dare pro-curate.
Write to recover through seeping, bandaged wounds.
Riddling the mind with infectious curiosity,
To want knowledge is the power I crave.
It’s my security.
Droplets of lonely anguish torment my darkest spell.
I am the white temptress tempted to awaken the beast inside.
Though, I know it will be the catalyst to an eternity of mocking turmoil.
My final destination is not the country I occupy.
I’m an immigrant
I’m a traitor.
Colonised and imprisoned by outdated Imperialists.
The world is full of egotistical folk in full throws of the delirium tremens.
Murmurs of fragile Life keep me close to the fire.
It scintillates what I know is inside — lying dormant.
Ready to drive out the cancers multiplying with faces frozen,
In that blissful look of the ignorant .
I raise my sword.
It bleeds ink.
It is my heart : my deliverance.
I can’t fathom another way to jolt my instincts to kick out, and rise to take another breath.
I’m the one who needs these murky waters to survive . Forget I too need oxygen and gills to stabilise my Eco system.
If my world was captured by a drone;
I would want it to show me evolved into a hybridised pro-humanity amphibian.
Swimming side by side
dolphins & whales ad infinitum.
Our life is entirely summarised by a dash.
1981- insert date of death.
Everything that we do within those dates define what we accomplish and who we become or don’t.
One small dash.
Engraved on our tombstone is what makes our life signicant in this life to others…
That dash between the years is what we did or didn’t get to do with our life.
Or maybe I’m talking crap…..
Probably the latter ..
*( inspired by my garden& watching my washing dry. I tried. Ha ha!)
Pink shaggy rug
New man with a Brazilian just looking for fun.
A hanging basket.
No drills to screw it into the place
Hitting my alphabetical lah lah
Momentarily on a bent knee phallically, potted plant lowers its fees.
The law of gravity serves the man
The feminists of this generation …
Some bushes thrive on moisture..
Those lil weeds grow faster than mother’s ducklings -highly strung.
A bush with no name but heavily influenced by the 70s – missed the bell bottom end of Fearne cotton’s
A gnome is a gnome by any other name
unless you call it a gargoyle then you’ve followed the rules and found yourself an OG
under the bridge – you defecate graffiti will pay for shelter:
A fedora hat,purple blush hearts,a stiletto , glitter ,fire
Even for your sin.
Looking into the eyes of a monster BIG mama bush -I daren’t trim her
fear she will suck me right in her tush.
A relic of tears
A blaze my malbora stallion.
Clearly I’m flaying
Is it me?
Or is it you?
For the years we scarpered away like dissident spew.
Acceptance should come from our real 3-D form.
I find it in the eye of the cyber- sphere storm.
Thunder used to scare me
Evidence was heard with me on skid row.
Now, I love a good drummer, to play my heart,
so you too have to face it and know.
Who are my friends among so many foes?
You may know my name.
You may have heard of my doings.
Gossip is for the feeble minded –
Yes, but all it does is reduce you to what I call are my fewings.
Lacking in truth and compassion.
In denial of your own feuds.
It’s a shame you, fewings, have to shine a light on my silky nudes.
Paint a picture – tell it.
Make it your own.
When you get closer to the next ear,
make sure you credit yourself with what you have weaved into that picture and sewn.
I may be mad and success is giving me an incredible hand.
We all have to play.
don’t go eyeing up all the spades.
End up back to level one and start off as a one-man marching band.
Look into my eyes.
Don’t like what you see?
Well, my dear .. what is that makes you want to get the hell up and do the blitz and flee?
see your own self?
Feed your ego with ya very own distiller killer.
Rattle my bones.
I am transparent.
I know your secrets.
They are not mine to go and unleash like they are a target for a spent errant.
Ignore me if you must,
but then don’t go using my name in a scattered attempt to unearth some dust.
If you want it.
You have your own soot.
Talk about that.
At least you are sure to have more than half the goddamn loot.
Opinion is not the truth,
but suffer fools gladly,
if it gets you to feel like some kind of Mickey mouse sleuth
She dances to my fascination ,
a soul that is filled with imagination.
carefree , bliss….
..no gravity can hold her –
Oh,what a kiss!
add a heel, another toe ,a shuffle and hop.
She leads the lot with her teeny tiny bop.
Four years ago. Born in the full sac.
Midwives tore at her home to make sure she would not lack
Life – no scream.
He had to be so mean.
She’s not breathing.
What the fuck ? I haven’t even recovered from all the sweat pouring and heaving
Skin on skin contact.
Enough to instil some sense of relief.
Four years later she is tall and graceful,
The word – darling springs to mind.
I look into her eyes,
I am blown away by the compassion I find.
She is my little lady –
Thank God I never stopped being a chancer;
because today I get to see my daughter ,blossom as a true dancer.
To be or not to be.
I could have stopped right there
Today I choose to be.
This family in all fairness will grow and grow.
Feeling like I do
Score as many times as you like.
Suffer we must
those who refuse to eat and instead are force-fed chickens on a battery farm.
Cow or Bull?
Why do men get to enter and exit when they want?
Why do women only have the key to the chamber with the will to want to open or not…
Which is better?
I suppose both is just as fair.
‘Blue balls isn’t a medical condition
Alas, if one must act this way,
A medical solution,
Used since the most ancient times.
an Antarctican blast of water
Ask any lunatic worth his marbles.
That one rolled right under the door.
Enough space for it to peek.
Not so fair when we cheat.
How to end with a two-letter word?
Shall I be a rebel and give not one but two fingers up to the rules?
a wooden leg tries to stick his in one hand.
Running away – I don’t want to see red.
rather break open the heavens
reveal yellow yolk hues
Crimson Fans snort in disgust
If I must
put a rose on the end and forevermore you will have my friendship,
on every level of schools, we enter.
enter in to.
I’m supposed to be the one who is feeling strong
Yet, I have got the biggest feeling I am getting it so wrong
Stick by me in sickness and in health,
You have never let me down with all your lovin wealth
I feel I have let you down
I don’t need to see no frown.
The truth is as my mind slowly unhinges
The incessant call of sleeping Grimm makes sure it stays on the fringes.
Loud and shrill,
My mind took a detour- scarpered for that biggest hill.
All I want to do is be your deserving queen,
the one that acts out on the things I mean.
Mind is running away after hearing a great big boo.
I am no poet
It’s not hard to show it.
I just want you to know,
even in this state of harrow.
I love you
even when I am stripped of my bow and arrow.
You are my king
with this fact alone –
let it be known that in the end
we will soar,
even if only with one wing.
Honesty and upfront are my greatest assets & flaws. I’ve avoided blogging too much or connecting over the last few months because I’ve been hiding a lot of guilt and shame –
so I’ve been doing some thinking.
No stream of consciousness or poetry in this post…
Are you still with me? haha
I write for myself first and I always will. When I write for an audience I lose my way easily.
Apologies if this is old news to the more evolved spirits reading this. 😁
Daisy has an epiphany.
I’ve been contemplating on the saying ‘dig deep’
if you decide to use this quote to get you through an experience
Do you know why you need to dig deep?
from our conception & birth into this life
From our first breath – we have started to dig our own grave.
We begin to design the layout of where our final resting place or end will be.
It would be epic and less stressful if from the moment we are born we knew what we are meant to be doing.
Many people never figure it out or, if they do, it’s too late to ask them if they have it for obvious reasons. 😞
Many people decide to choose a saviour either in the form of an icon – a god, a person, goals – money, love, careers, addictions, etc…
We strive to find something to focus all of our seconds, minutes, hours and years blatantly meandering about on this planet.
Be careful who you allow to support you – some people are so busy trying to save everyone else, ( we all do it at some point); we forget our first honour and duty is to save ourselves and know our own purpose.
It’s known in psychobabble terms as the drama triangle.
Most of use tend to flit between three roles -Victim, the dominating in yer face/demanding person or the carer role depending on the situation we are in, people we are around etc.
Many of us go on to have children who rely on us – depend on us to teach them how to navigate their own path – how to create their own resting place – and to be conscious that each action, each decision they make has a hand in determining how they will die.
Teaching others to rely on themselves is a blessing, not a curse.
It is when we are faced with our own reflection, with no other help but to rely on our own resources /skills we collect along our journey in life.
Will we know how we will get to the other side or to our end in this human form.
Some of us end up addicted or come to our end at the hands of illnesses like cancer or dementia, car accidents etc.
Some of us can go out and have a heart attack while having an orgasm. It’s possible
Maybe some of us are unaware that from the moment we are given independent life we are consistently (for better or worse) building our own coffins.
Is it fair that we are not told this from our first breath?
I didn’t make up the rules in life or society.
We -or rather I – can only govern myself and my actions
Choose carefully who you try to help or who you accept help from.
Don’t get mad when people let you down
They are doing what they need to do – following their own purpose.
Some people never find out what their purpose is.
How comfortable and aware of your surrounding do you want to be when you take your last breath in this life.
We create our own Elysium or heaven or utopia even –
sometimes it’s not what we want or expect-
The truth is we won’t know until we are swimming against the tide or even hanging ten and riding the wave.
I do know that I want to be as conscious and aware of my choices, limits when the waves crash.
My personal chosen Gods have always been tangible- in the form of fully crystallised human beings -flawed just like me.
I think I chose human “idols” to put all my faith because I can have a go at someone when “they” 😉 let me down. I want to face my own success and disappointments A-sap .
Patience /Sabili is not a strength of mine.
I need to look at a reflection of myself to determine I exist.
it’s not easy to figure out life- there is probably more evidence for the saying that instead of philosophising about how to find our purpose i. life- it needs to be lived – consciously and with purpose.
We can live with a purpose not knowing if that purpose is “right “and we can live consciously and not know what our purpose is.
Our Past experiences can help us figure out what tools or resources we need to use if/when we consciously realise
Perhaps I’ve hit the bottom of my pit
How do I bypass this mythical minotaur I’ve read about?
We wonder how we can or even if we can
find strength & savviness to crawl up & out of it to a stable Terre ferme place.
We may wonder if we have the endurance, courage and motivation to get out of coal mine
Whether it’s worth finding a running brook of water to wash the soot from the inside out.
The alternative option is that our final resting place will be exactly where we decide to rest – in this case, the bottom of a pit. State the obvious 😂
It’s our personal responsibility to find (in our finite existence)a place where we feel we have done everything in our power tosit amongst the angels or the gods of Olympus or whatever it is we believe in that will take us through from the beginning to the end. where we can feel at peace with ourselves.
Some of us – most of us never get to that point. Sucks to be us.
I don’t fully believe reincarnation but I am aware that it makes sense our essence/ energy will go someplace else.
Society tells us it’s a selfish idea
‘ look after yourself’.
Human beings are wired to reach out but how we do that and to know our boundaries and the boundaries of others is tricky to balance
boundaries are constantly changing with where we are in our lives, emotionally, physically & mentally.
It’s scary to know we are ultimately alone – only we can change ourselves – our emotions – our ideas – our path.
It’s hard not to resent others or life for making us so capable and resilient.
Damn you life! How dare you 😂
It can be easier to choose to not see the bigger plan – this idea that, yes we govern ourselves and we must govern ourselves and own our actions and our lives.
We must practice being aware that every action /choice/thought we make – has that butterfly effect –
we cause the ripples of life. We are made up of molecules & atoms. Ie energy
Science has come up with terminology -that can help us understand our position in this world, we make up , what and how much we are capable
How much responsibility we all have.
We are tiny specks in the universe however just one body made up of molecules has a direct consequence on those around us, our environment – one choice word or action could help balance our life conversely it can cause it to topple over.
We have nature to compare ourselves to – A crystallised example of what happens when we fuck up different ecosystems – when we put element somewhere and take out element B from somewhere else.
It’s trial and error.
We repeat – the cycle continues.
I think that the fear of being alone is a lot scarier than actually being alone
When I am alone by choice or because People forget me. I decide
I choose to swim and come up for air.
I realised that I have walked the earth with legs , I’ve flown and seen the world from a bird’s eye perspective.
I’ve also stayed a rather unglamourous mammalian unable to grow wings or a tail to adapt to my surroundings.
I choose to live another day. I don’t know if my choices are right or wrong .
Time is what it is.
People in my life , of my life
I love you but I don’t want to need anyone. My desire is I want people because of the love & joy they bring to my life.
Do I decide to fight the battle every day or fall back into a walking state of slumber?
Some of us are born heartbroken from the initial
To final push .
We are the ones that don’t cry until we get a pat on the back
We are the ones that know the doctors’ have a hypocratic oath to enforce .
Life is forced upon those who don’t ask…
The ties must be cut with or without a puppet curtsey or kneel in prayer.
The law states we have a duty to care for ourselves
for others ..
The laws – they diminish a heart beaten with a wooden spoon .
Zero tolerance.. humanity is a price we have come to despair.
Punitive the fare we must pay. The care sector,our families who wish no t pretence
to smile on arrival at a wake.
We live for our reasons . We betray our feelings .
Perhaps it’s when the sun denies we are in treason
we dare shed a tear for our shadow
Some of us born heartbroken ’til we die.. we become the life savers or the enablers of the lie.
Beautiful & befuzzling- Especially for foreigners.
My answers are long because the list of pre fixes – to shit – are long …
Horse manure! 🐎 – any tory response especially during ascot season ( the gentrification version ?
Please see pic below
✋️… I’ll try out my wit again..
This looks vaguely like a timeline of the gentrification of the word / class system: * shit*
Have you seen the price of rentals these days ? !
. EPIC FAIL – again.
I’m just not funny 😐 😒.
Waving the red flag..
Gone gorillas in the mist with the word rambunctious ( Stop. Is Google time .)
Am I F***! Waving the red flag !
It’s a doggy 🐕 dog world if you don’t live in China..
Dare I say how it goes if you do live in China 🇨🇳- oops is that a red herring.
( that’s me all over – a false leader )
I’ll stick with my morbid side
Fact : Paris has the highest percentage of irresponsible dog shit picker uppers..
Must be on uppers if they haven’t got the time to pick up dog shit from their little beathoven mutt.
so, basically Paris has the largest amount of doggy doo in the major cities of the world 🌎 to step in.
Oh, I forgot ( I wanted to see if I could try and define rambunctious before I cooled it).
A bit over the top, firstly, too much , horny even ?
And proper definition 👌
Mmh that’s what they say in most
Rape depositions/ statements .
I don’t think rape is something to be laughed at .
Trust me I’ve been there .
Unless they have a small willy.
I can’t use hashtag metoo in this case.
Truth is I don’t have a willy.
Not Bullshit . Potentially batshit
I poured a rather long gin.
Snoop dog influenced me .
#laidback ####’d the crack out of that ..
. Well , on a final note atleast the English language has moved on from human excrement although excrement feels more like an achievement 👏 or an accomplishment than a shit.
I’M MAD SHIZZLE CRAZY .