Blog Archives

Celebrating being a woman

 

I did a lot of things I never thought I would have the guts to do

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” -HENRY FORD 

When I was fighting my ex and social services for custody of my daughter, I did something that I didn’t think I would ever have the courage to do. I thought everyone thought I was this

 

I was finding myself again. It is a never ending process.  I was many miles -eons even away from the person I am today.

This person who I am today is someone I could not have foreseen.

I found out a girl from college was doing a ‘equality and diversity ‘ campaign for her final project  before she graduated and all I needed to do to get involved, if I wanted to was get naked.

Yup! that’s it.

 

A bunch off ladies I had never met bar one (College girl) was my company for the day and we were all walking around butt naked -having our pictures taken.

I was compelled to do this project because I was trying to find freedom – a freedom I had never expressed or experienced before, under the blaring  light of my unwanted entourage- social  services and who ever came with them skirting around their coat tails..

  • I couldn’t fall into abusive relationships any longer

  • I couldn’t close my mind to the world by self medication.

  • I couldn’t lose my mind and end up in hospital 

I ended up rebelling or what I now see as expressing my uniqueness in more gratifying ways.

I was going through a mad time of changing my hair colour nearly every 2/3 week. The day before the shoot. My hair had turned from purple to murky green.

The hairdresser wanted me to pay for this mistake but I stood my ground and this was also new to me. I was good at telling myself what to do but I was never assertive enough to tell others what I would and would not accept.

I have found out that we have a name for this  in our everyday communication and it is called ‘Boundaries’.

Hairdresser sorted my hair out for free and off I went to do the photo shoot. My partner literally held my hand leading me like a child to the school gates.

Gently telling me I could do this.

I walked into the room , laughter, nibbles and cava flowing to yield the nerves  It felt like they all turned to me and gave me the look. That girl look we do with one another.

e7e8e68067a69cc1a5b6545afa726416

You know the one.

They probably didn’t.

1003875_10200305529030056_1512978698_n

 

I got naked and just put my ‘I am super confident hat’ on and I winged my way through the day.

I tried to be a normal woman. Not a mother who had social services on their back and an ex with a taste for revenge. I know some people had heard gossip but I just carried on.

Forced myself to speak and do chit chat- which I loathe.

I came into my own and loved posing and feeling empowered. I got to laugh and be among women who had their own issues and problems. I didn’t feel so ostracised from my community for those few hours.

So, there is a lot to be said about diversity and equality -all can be found here

please if you can take a moment to watch

 I was fi

This kind of rebelling or should I say going against the crowd was new to me. I was used to rebelling in  a way that always ended up hurting me and not empowering me

There is a lot to be said about how powerful empowering yourself is. Sometimes we don’t know that what we are doing is empowering myself.

971370_653210208028736_2140351718_n

Since I’ve done a lot of inner self-help work on myself. These are a  just a few of the ways I have empowered myself

  • I carried on studying for my BA  online. I would study at court waiting to go into the judge’s chambers. Day in and day out.

  • I went on an empowering program for woman who has been abused by men called THE FREEDOM PROGRAMME

  • I refused too be bullied by anyone in the social services click. I spoke up a lot for myself and my daughter

  • I held my head up high when I walked around the town I live in. I refused to be bought down by peoples “tsk tsk- did you know that girl had her……..” 

  • I started volunteering not thinking it would have the effect it has had on me 

  • I did loads of courses and training workshops to skill myself up

  • I became a true feminist and equal to my husband to be

  • Accepted people and relationships for what they are

  • I started blogging

These are just a few ways I have empowered myself and in turn, enriched my life. The person I see or who you may see today did not just happen. It took a lifetime of mishaps, experiences, mistakes, learning, behaviours and generally trying my hand at living to achieve me.

431886_645771758771521_1329415243_n

I see something in me that can only be seen outside of me because the glow is not a few embers chilling out on a bit of coal. I have an inner fire I try and keep lit all the time. I am the vigil of this candle.

It is my responsibility to keep the fire blazing. I had taken myself to the ‘hoki poki’ clinic and turned it all around for myself. 😀

 

Expect more wedding-themed updates in the next upcoming week. 21st June is fast approaching. I have a post about wedding vows which made my heart melt but I will write about that another day.

There are so many ways we can empower ourselves. I have found that if something is scary and it is partly terrifying, it involves me coming out of myself and connecting with others. This is usually  a good gauge  to check out if  I am doing something to empower myself.   I hope all these ladies still feel proud about what we did  three years ago in May 2013

 

( photo credits Julie Teague @ https://www.facebook.com/Julieatjtphotography/

Follow Great Footsteps Unity

“As a bee sips nectar from many flowers and make a hive from honey,so that not one drop can claim, ‘I am from this flower or that’. All creatures, though one, do not realize they are one.” Upanishads (c1000 BC) #FollowGreatFootsteps

WHY HAVE I CHOSEN THIS QUOTE:

This week terrorism dominated the head lines in the news.  Still trying to further their warped and chaotic quest to divide people. This is a simple reminder that we all bleed, we all are born the same way, we eat ,sleep and all have to take a crap. We are more similar in spite of our differences. Remember this. It is Easter. Some may not celebrate it but it is a time for coming together.

Want to be a part of #FollowGreatFootsteps ?

Want to increase your blog views and hits? click on the above green  highlighted link 🙂

Have a great Easter. 🙂

Unique

We hear so much about equality and diversity these days. If I asked you what each word meant, off the top of your head could you tell me?

 Mine goes: well, Equality is about fairness and being just with all people while at the same time celebrating our differences (diversity).

It’s so frustrating why can’t we accept what we can’t change?

 You accept your friends for who they are.

Your children?

Boyfriend?

 Why can’t we accept that there are some things that we can’t change about ourselves, no matter how much we try?

What You Can Change: You can work on eating cleaner, healthier foods that leave you feeling full of energy and in a good mood throughout the day. You can find an exercise plan that suits your needs and also doesn’t leave you feeling as though your life revolves around physical activity. You can wear clothes and style yourself in a way that makes you feel attractive and healthy, while still being aware that your physical appearance does not define you as a person. You can pursue a balance in life that involves both indulging yourself and treating your body with respect.

What You Can’t Change: You can’t make your body be naturally predisposed to a different shape. You can’t guarantee that you will always be in a certain weight range. You can’t ensure perfect skin, or find a diet and exercise regime that works without fail. You can’t spend your entire life denying yourself the things you want every now and again, nor can you give into every craving or whim and deny your body the care that it needs to function normally. You can’t make the scale replace every other source of value in your life.

SOURCE LINK

Our main focus should be on being healthy and maintaining that health. That saying ‘you don’t know the value of health until it is taken from you ‘seems apt –I may of made up that quote.  I guess we can to some degree alter our physical appearance. It is harder for us ladies when we go through puberty and when we go through ‘the change’. There are loads of traits we can change about ourselves if we are unhappy.

We can change

  • how   we do certain things

  • how we act

  • Our attitude.

By the end of this ‘Celebrating your unique qualities’ challenge. I challenge you to find three things that YOU can do to help promote acceptance of your own unique qualities and appreciate other people’s qualities.

UNIQUE TWO?

Quality over Quantity-followers following.

I may be committing my own blogging life suicide here- but when has that stopped me from writing about my thoughts? Never. 

WOW! I started at 6 a.m. and it is now 17:37 p.m. of going through the blogs I follow. It has made me kind of sad and a  bit confused too. There are some bloggers who write so beautifully , have a story to tell, need support and some are so awesome but because no one likes their posts, I assume they give up!  There are a couple of blogging sites with 1000’s of followers but I didn’t connect with any of what they put in their post/s . I read more than one to gauge if it is a blog I will read and not just follow! Some people haven’t posted in so long that their blogs don’t even come up so I have no option but to un-follow. Then there is a blog I loved to read and I find out she is leaving this community and I have asked her to comment in a post of mine if/when she picks up blogging again so I can follow her blog again..

I may not have hundreds and thousands of followers. I started writing for myself and also  in the hope that I could connect with others. Having people follow my blog annd interact is the ‘dogs bullocks’ as they say in England.  I have done this and do this. I love reading the blogs I follow. I do NOT want to get into that ‘you follow my blog so I follow yours’ which is so easy to get caught up in .Then you find yourself scrolling down all the time to find some one you follow because you connect with what that blogger writes. There are a few blogs that still haven’t come up on word reader,  I want to explore their site more and what they are about -soemtimes time can be a big issue in exploring more sites. Blogs can be a bit like emotions, in my opinion. I  know that my emotions change frequently and it is only normal I will want to read blogs that connect with what I am feeling at any one time. That is why I don’t just follow one topic. I’m confidently assuming that I am not alone in this.

Here is what I am thinking : I’m not just going to follow blogs just  because someone has followed mine. If I follow your blog, I will interact with your blog.  I do check out every person who has followed mine and most of the time there is some kind of connection. Something that makes me think I will get something from reading xyz blog.

So I have had a clear out. I don’t limit myself to how many blogs I am going to follow. I want to make sure that wwhat pops up on my reader is what I want to read- be it sad, glad, mad- you get my point.

HAPPINESS TIP:To be different is what makes life spectacular

SECRET TO HAPPINESS: Accept yourself and others for being different and embrace who you are

TRADITION:La Vela de las Autenica’s  Inrepidas Buscadoras del Peligro – (bit of a mouth-ful, roughly translated as ‘The festival of authentic, Intrepid Danger-seekers)

DATE: November

CELBRATED: Juchitan, Mexico

Being different to others can suck balls! I know from my own experiences growing up. There are all these stereotypes of how a person should fit into society. You know, like that popular girl that everyone gravitates to with the blonde/ black hair and blue/green eyes -the perfect figure. Everyone wants to know her. Then there is the Emo who wear eyes liner and grunge clothes and never smiles and gets odd looks wherever he/she may go. People stop and stare and gasp. People call him/her  a freak. Then you get the straight A student with a bad case of acne, skinny, pale and is an easy target to bully. I know I am generalising a  bit but you get my drift.

people-will-hate-you-quote-strong-quotes-life-sayings-pictures

I know the world is getting it’s head around the fact that gay people , lesbian people and Trans-gender people do not have a kink in their nature, and as a culture we are more accepting of peoples sexuality choices/ race and religious choices. This step  is not enough because their is still a lot of prejudice around being ‘different’. Many people are still segregated from society because of these reasons. In a world of never ending war – British Muslims and American Muslims are being ostracised and blamed because they supposedly share the same faith as terrorists/suicide bombers. An intelligent and learned person will know that these cowardly terrorists hide behind the Muslim religion and distort and warp this faith to justify their horrific actions. There has been a lot of debate around African Americans being over looked by the movie industry. A lot of people still think that all  people who identify themselves as black, are gangsters who want to mug people or deal in drugs.

In Juchitan, the the zapotec people of the Isthmus of Tehuantepec believe and celebrate a ‘third sex’  This group or class of people includes both Gay/Lesbian and Transgender people. They are referred to as ‘Muxes’ ( pronounced Moo-shays). Muxes people are given divine sanction status and are considered a blessing to their families and within their community.  They are respected and treasured for their beauty, tranquillity and their domestic talents. 

Forget about San Francisco’s  annual ‘Gay pride parade’ being a cutting edge and bold culture in celebrating diversity. These awesome people in Juchitan were celebrating  different sexualities when G.P.P. was not even a seed -in germination mode.

At this festival -the muxes  Zapotec people dress up flamboyantly proudly  sashay around in brightly coloured clothes. They have a full on fiesta- with plenty of food, drink and revel in the whole towns attention.

What a glorious world we would live in if everyone no matter how different was accepted and got their very own party to celebrate their differences. Can you imagine it?

The message is simple: Love who you are -you are not meant to conform to one ideal of what a community or a society dictates you should be.

 

The final message is:  if you live in some part of the world and are not accepted for who you are, have hope, take comfort and remember there are places’people in the world  who think you are  awesome!