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It’s complicated.

Will you?

Will I?

Yes, wouldn’t you..?

Wouldn’t I?

What I mean to say is….Will you? Please ……

What are you doing?

Erm…… Doing?

Yes… Down there. I tower over you enough when you aren’t half bent and crooked…

Half bent? What is that supposed to mean?

Half bent! You have that look… that thing those people -how do you say it?- Oh, I don’t know airy and breezy…

Is this a joke? Are you really enjoying this?

I would ask you the same question. Last time I checked you were not the person I see before me…

And what person is that? 

Not this – it’s so ………….so ………… unnatural. For you, I mean.

Well, I know I’ve never been conservative but unnatural?

Rather liberal I would say. 

Ma Cherie, Will you? 

Will, I what? 

Will you come down to my level of thinking?

Are you sure you are not possessed?

I think you have confused me with some character. I’m not quite sure what it is you imply…

Look!  I will come down to your level and tarnish my finery, on one condition…

Anything. of course!

Ask me the question again?

The..  Which one?

Oh the heavens, this will never wash out -the first one!

Oh, of course. Will you?

I will…

You will – this is just marvellous!

if…

If what? I beseech thee.

If I say I will: will you promise to remain the Gayest fiance there was ever born?

Gayest? Have you lost you….. I am a full-blooded Alpha. Is this a joke?

No. 

No. Just No.

If I say I will -will you continue to be the Gayest man I have ever seen?

Well, my love. Don’t mind if I get up off my knees- I need to think about this.

I said yes, I  will!

You are mocking me.

No. I love to see the way you look at me – T’is the gayest I have seen you yet.

Dear Lord! 

Will you? , it is just Darling.

I think, ma Cherie. I think I need to, uh, communicate a little better..

If you say you will, you may kiss me.

If I may say….. K- cos I  b like MindFuck. gotta chillax with my bros in a mo, my answer is mb. 

MB? Another mighty bastard

(Doesn’t it suck that we use text lingo instead of proper language these days)

 

And Then there are the days

And then there are the days when the rain has stopped.
sunshine will follow the rain.

By all accounts I should feel the warmth.
My smile aches.
My heart

breaks.

 My cheeks are strewn not by rain this time but more tears.

I feel a part of me dying I think of all the tears I’ve overcome, the one I’ve mopped up.

I think about how other people struggle, and see them get up again and again until, one day they don’t.

In these twisted moments of my melancholy; my heart beats even faster- than when I’m even tempered.

I realise I won’t die from heart ache or an abundance of leaked tears.

I won’t dehydrate.

I won’t become the next corpse poised in fledgling flight to arouse its soul.

So many words and questions I wish to ask.

I answer them myself-in moments of cowardice . In these moments of despair, I search for strength.

I love to see people I care about prosper.

I cry because
.. I shouldn’t have regrets.. but I’m beginning to wonder if I should….

When words are few

When Words are few

Connect

Create.

Collaborate

With other Creativists.

creativists

Noun — (1) To be a creative activist. (2) To challenge conventionality using art and expressionismas your tools. (3) To creatively enactchange.

Someone who is attuned creatively to their surroundings; a person who understands and expresses their lifethrough creativeworksor motifs.

URBAN DICTIONARY

When I don’t feel able to talk to anyone my thoughts are scattered and strewn about;

I’ve always found clarity & relief with the help of writing and Music. Music allows me to put displaced emotions into a feeling of organized chaos.

It can help with replacing my emotions and self talk to break the negative cycle I’m in and I can re-engage with people (even if on a small level) and feel passionate about life and my goals again.

I believe that we are all creativists — We don’t need to sing well, play an instrument or be a DJ, professional dancer to express our emotions through music. Personally, I enjoy combining my passion for writing about and listening to music to get what I need from music.

We don’t need to have a degree in Music and Arts to feel or write about it. Although that’s cool too.

Google, a couple of books, communicating with people who are into music, and your soul-should be enough to make whatever it is that you get out/want out of the music industry- happen. Oh, and passion and focus helps too 😉

Self-expression is creative.

When we find a medium to feel, it can help us feel that we’ve been heard-we are being creative.

I’m more than passionate about Mental health and anti-stigma. I know the Music industry is in need of more help to help artists channel their energy productively, but like any industry as big as the entertainment industry there is a lot of pressure and stress attached to achieving our goals.

On the flip side of the coin, there are the obvious benefits being creative in any medium can have on improving mental health.

One massive stumbling block to (ahem..)blocking creativity is not connecting with people who allow us to create something with another person. It could start out as a simple conversation, comment, idea, compliment, dream, or career.

This decision to connect with a person/group creates.

We are all creativists. Technology and social media help to communicate. So that even a person who doesn’t or who can’t get out and “connect” socially can still be super dope in their creative outlets via the internet.

Self- Doubt and listening too much to other people’s negative opinion can wreak havoc on your confidence and ability to express yourself. This is intensified for people who are suffering from their mental health issues.

Of course, feedback is a good thing. Pick your mentors wisely, if (like me )you want to write about music or work in the Music industry.

Find someone who doesn’t rip you to shreds. Constructive criticism and being a blunt asshole can seem like the same thing coming from an “expert” but it’s not.

Constructive criticism is taking into account the overall work and presentation and breaking that feedback into sections. It should be honest and tactful. There is no one way to write a review, or compose a piece of music or run a music label.

When you connect you have an opportunity to create something with another individual who has a whole different system of thoughts, beliefs, ideas and experiences to contribute.

You don’t know what the result is going to be and that can be the best part of the creative process: The not knowing. We often surprise ourselves with what we can do when we just-DO IT!

The collaboration process doesn’t have to be a huge gig,

Or it can be.

It can be anything.

I’ve uploaded on social media have spoken word/music oddities that I’ve made on garage band!

My favourite recorded spoke word project is one I did with a mate. It was fun.

I’m not too precious about what people think. Creativists should take risks and often end up surprising themselves.

Don’t let other peoples talents or your own self-doubt, or a lack of knowledge of music theory, for example, stop you from expressing yourself. If you want to learn to play an instrument well. Then you have to put in the effort. Technology makes it so much easier to connect and learn.

I’ve also started writing song reviews on my blog. Not everyone gets it or likes it but its something I’m passionate about doing. Blogs should evolve if we are to change, surely? They need work and I need to Improve. We all have to start somewhere.

NWA all the way.

EXPRESS YOURSELF!