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These voices

These voices in my head gossip it’s a constant source of bedlam.

They never stop,

They never leave.

Their constant trolling,

There incessant banter

Sparks a hell-raising fire

Until I kick out from cracking up from all of their heckling.

I imagine a dark horse rescues me so I can canter away, breathe in the ocean air.

Keep up this distraction forever.

These voices make me pull at my hair, I see I have a few grey hairs now.

Droopy disproportionate boobs.

I fear the larger breast a whole 2 cup sizes bigger needs to be stabbed, squeezed, cleansed from the infected fat.

If only this would quell these voices in my homely self made asylum.

Perhaps my patients would snap back into reality

Snap out of their various maladies.

Even when my glass house shatters

These voices know I’ll glue back each piece bit by bit in an attempt to make myself better.

These voices know they can always come back.

Rent-free

The foods on me.

Feeding on the folds of my imperfect flaws.

That emotion I can only describe as fatness.

A feeling, a thought, a moment, an eternity, a sense of a loss of control.

It comes and it goes

It takes a second glance

Catches me off guard.

I have to take pictures to believe I am not hallucinating. Pictures lie.

They do and then a second glance and they don’t.

They do and they don’t.

They do and they don’t.

They do and they don’t.

This is what these voices chant.

That fatness comes

That fatness goes with a second glance.

Another thought pulls through for me

One second glance

One more chance to be lucid.

To survive another day

To survive another day

Only for these bastard critters to gorge on my mind.

Make all their fears mine.

These voices, they scream at me.

They yell at me.

They tell me to go away.

Often when I wish to disappear I dissociate

Have a rest

Go on autopilot.

Leave the carnival of freaks to cast me out.

I want to process what I hear, what I watch, what I read, what I see without them humming their filth in my head.

I want to be present

Tune into my world

Reality.

where it truly matters.

I don’t want to miss connecting with my loved ones.

These mouthpieces…

I have nothing left to say.

Confessional poetry -Anxiety

*inspired by a work exercise I had to do for my bibliotherapy course- WORD PROMPT -ANXIETY*

Loss of control
Increased numerical equation
Detract from the value of self-worth.

Mind full
Mind bloated

Aspirations snipped loose by an unearthly, scale driven puppet master
Reduces an entire psyche to a chemical embarrassment.

Good mood desires nourishment
the live to eat philosophy
A heavy burden the beast bears herded in
restricted to forage on cashing out a societal life policy.

A one manned island
ravaged
to its hunger

Elderbrook

 

Stopped everything I’m doing to post this track. It’s catchy. I first heard it back in 2018. Its got an almost haunting & entrancing introduction. When the intro kicks in with Elderbrook hypnotic chorus

‘If you wanna switch off you could’

You know you are going to be engaged from the start till the end.

 describing   his approach to the  music production process

Phonetics are as important as lyrics. My voice adds another important harmonic element to the sounds

It’s a mesmerizing song.  I love the repetition of words  & their apparent simplicity.  Hypnotic. It’s downtempo/ambient with a twist. The bridge chorus chants toying with your ears & soul.

The clicking sample has  ( is there an official term for this? )   adds an organic feel to this track  & fits with the harmony & lyrics. It’s GOAT.

Inherently, Elderbrook enjoys creating samples from simple sounds

two examples are, Breaking his reading glasses and the crackling of ice in a hot cup of coffee.

” I often bang the table I’m sat at, sample it and use that as my drums

It’s a sweet little find. The video is A Vincent van Gogh painting come to life. A paradox of a song- You can switch off to this yet still remain critically engaged. Who can switch off when someone is telling them too? Reverse psychologically 101?

Who is Elderbrook? British musician, producer & all-around Creativist, Alexander Kotz.

He’s relatively new on the electronic scene. His musical background started at 16 when he joined a folk/ indie band.

He initially wanted to explore the more soulful sounds of hip hop. This song captures the essence of the gospel