Category Archives: INSPIRED BY MY MUSE

Bringing inspiring quotes into our conscious minds gives us the chance to try and adopt that quality we love in an inspirational person

Nina Simone

“The worst thing about that kind of prejudice… is that while you feel hurt and angry and all the rest of it, it feeds you self-doubt. You start thinking, perhaps I am not good enough” -NINA SIMONE –

I never knew why I connected so much with this woman’s voice and songs so much, until now.

We seemingly have nothing in common- she was a trained classical pianist, jazz and soul singer, and a proud African  American lady, actively a  part of the  American civil rights movement.

She hung out Martin Luther King! She was born in the 1930’s.

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I , on the other hand, was born and grew up in South Africa. I am white. I was born in the early 1980s when the apartheid regime was crumbling.

 

Recently, I watched the documentary about her life on Netflix and I identified with this  wild spirit within her.  A spirit demanding justice. She was a  person who had a name but couldn’t truly own it.

There is a song she sings  – AINT GOT NO -I GOT LIFE (she is simply mesmerizing to watch)

 

The song ends with her singing

“I am my freedom. I got my freedom.”

That is my connection to her.  For a long time I wasn’t accepted,I may well have been another skin color.

In fact-  in post-apartheid. -early 90’s -I spent most of my teens taking drugs with the colored or black  and Indian community ( they identify themselves with these terms in South Africa btw ) and increasing less  time with white people.

At various points in Nina’s life she felt like she had lost her mind.

 

I nearly became mad.

In fact I am sure I did.

Many times.

I   nearly died -countless times  too.

I was forced out of South Africa because my mother couldn’t stand by and watch me die.

It took 17 years to get  to the person I am today.

 

I should be dead.  I guess life has bigger plans for me.  It is not for lack of me trying every possible way to kill myself by my hand or another’s..

I have always wanted my freedom to be me in my body  and mind and be comfortable in it.

In my search for Freedom I even became like some feral creature to get it.  I  could say I only imitated what I saw other people do.

Its’s strange how other people are quick to judge. They don’t seem to see that they do the same things to cope.

 Oh,how they just took .

Boys

Girls

Men

Women

People just took  from me what was useful to them  and discarded me like a used condom. Making sure there was no evidence to be found that linked them with the theft of my own creativity and soul.

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People took a lot from Nina – she left the U.S.A. for many years to find her mind and peace.

One of my favorite sayings I always tend to tell people is

“I’m a person with good intentions”

“My actions and heart come from a good place .”

I think I must have picked it up from the lyrics in the song  ‘DON’T LET ME BE MISUNDERSTOOD

“I’m just a soul whose intentions are good – Oh lord please don’t let me be misunderstood”

I’ve often  felt misunderstood.

 I have made one hell of a journey.

So these days if someone misunderstands what I say, I have to pretty much cut them off and be direct and tell them  that they have misunderstood or not heard or misinterpreted what I am saying .

 

To have soul, you have to be free.

Completely free of your mind and body -you mustn’t covert away any part of you , you must reveal your soul to the entire world.

People will either get you or they won’t but that becomes their problem not mine or yours.

There must be no shame in revealing your soul to the world.

Your story.

Your journey.

Nina  was diagnosed with Bipolar in the 80’s  and I guess she felt displaced.

Bipolar,huh ?

Displaced ?

Now I know that world well.

 

I felt displaced in so many situations in my life. I did actually do something  Nina did  (at a point in her life)-

I  turned inwards on myself.

I couldn’t win the political game of  “normal” social life.   I never fit in one social group or culture.

I stood out for all to see.

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I didn’t fit. Yet, I felt comfortable in more than one place or with one type of people simultaneously.

I didn’t want to have to choose just one set of people to be around. I tried to conform but my soul rebelled

I struggled when I was growing up.

Not being able to fit into one box  came  high levels  of recklessness on my part. I  was probably the first person in my social group who displayed crazy- off her head signs.

It was awful because I was only 13-17 years old.

You could be a certain type of crazy but not my kind of crazy.

People backed up the fuck away…

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Never mind that later many of my peers would have had more life experience and with that , they had gained a few extra pounds of  experiencing the not so great hand life deals us at times.

There would come a time when many I knew would have  to deal with  whatever  it decides to throw at you. Whenever it chooses to do so.

 Maybe a few of them went

“Oh,now I get it.”

I took on adult responsibilities from a young age.

I didn’t  fucking want them.

So it then  became a political inquest into my soul…

My soul fled from me – leaped out of my heart, got lost in my head , ran- in search of the nearest exit.

It found that exit in a secret tunnel at the furthest part of my unconscious.   It did a backflip out and  over the balcony of my  mind, landed on its feet and made for the ocean.

It went into hiding , to the deepest part of the ocean. A place it knew it could surrender to without protest. It could go with the current and not be examined for doing something as natural as just being its nature and of nature.

 

I searched to reclaim mine back  for years.

Soul can’t be questioned it must be  felt.

Nina felt stigma,

I felt stigma,

Many feel stigma.

She connected to so many because  she wasn’t afraid to share her humanness and be her and speak up for ‘her kind’.

She inspires me to carry on  speaking out for people who still suffer inequality with their mental health issues. I will never stop using my voice and writing to break down stigma and prejudice and ignorance.

There are four songs I want to  share that she sang.

 The only way she knew how to help change and shape the world she lived in -was to get political with her music. It killed her singing  career and nearly killed her.

I can’t help but see Nina as such a positive role model for all genders, race, sexuality, age and faiths.

STRANGE FRUIT-   The first greatest protest song. Originally sung by Billie Holliday -another idol of mine

 

GODDAMN MISSISSIPI –read about the meaning behind the song

TO BE YOUNG, GIFTED AND BLACK – be proud!

This leads me to tell all your Jazz lovers out there that today is Sunday  ( again?)and I kind of accepted to do a challenge.

INTERNATIONAL JAZZ DAY EVENT is on 7th May.

THIS EVENT IS ABOUT CELEBRATING THIS DAY TOGETHER AND SHARING OUR EXPERIENCES

WANT TO JOIN IN  ON FACEBOOK?  HERE YOU GO.

 

If you can, I recommend watching the ‘WHAT HAPPENED, NINA? ‘ ‘ DOCUMENTARY ON NETFLIX

CHECK OUT THE TRAILER

 

 

 

 

Life -unbitten by bitterness

Don’t let life, and how other people treat you to allow you to become bitter. Don’t expect people who keep the same company to be on the same level as you. Be a good person.

Remain honest, full of heart and genuine.

You do not owe anything to anyone who chooses to disrespect you or your values.

Remember – we all have our own way of coming to a conclusive thought or opinion. We are human and we feel and it’s okay to talk about our feelings and thoughts.

People are influenced by the company they keep (an observation).

Protect yourself, keep yourself safe -especially when you are a person who has a lot of empathy, and time for others.

Let other people talk, critique, gossip about you. It doesn’t matter what people do or don’t say who isn’t in your life.

Remember who you are.

We learn every day of our life.

Stay around people who ask how you are, who cares, who stick up for you. Forget about those who don’t.

Give people the benefit of the doubt but don’t ever allow anyone to disrespect you or bring you down. Or make you feel that your values are being disregarded.

Don’t hate. Let people find their own path.

Lessons I’ve learned lately. Opinion is not always the truth. I can’t be responsible for what a person understands.

Copyrighted Natasha bodley

Take a leaf out of the Amazon

One reason global leaders are able to sleep at night? They find absolution in ‘the family’. ( Check out Netflix) these global leaders, politicians, and public figures have invented a Covent composed of ( rather) impressionable modern-day “disciples” to justify what they let bypass / happen to our world.

They have messed with men’s spiritual health. By spiritual, I mean I don’t necessarily mean in a religious sense. We are all thinkers. We have the ability to feel & reason. Spirituality can be something emotional & philosophical. Our spirituality is personal to each and every one of us.

These bastard leaders are killing our planet.
They have brainwashed themselves to believe that they are “chosen “to lead for religious reasons.
Can you grasp how much power that is to give to 1 % of the elite in this world?

Nobody – alone can control all that power. Greed corrupts. This is just an example of how one ( ahem) leader- Thump justifies🙄 his outlandish & vapid ramblings on the trade wars with China & U.S.A. we need a revolution of consciousness.

Read  POLITICSTrump Looked Up To The Sky And Told Reporters ‘I Am The Chosen One’ by anonymous

A shift in consciousness. I haven’t got all the answers. I hate injustice.

Listening to Tupac’s song about Changes & thinking about the themes of the song. He seems to to be questioning us (  the black man ) to question the consciousness of society.

THUG society wasn’t about being a thug. Another post for another day.

It’s not a song that is about self -pity. Its a more hold your own nuts song & be civil. That is why it is revolutionary

That isn’t even equal.

As Micheal Che said in his stand up comedy debut – ‘Matters’.

if we can’t be equal: can we at least be civil? (haha!)

Society has really messed with the willows today.

PLEASE sign the petition to help the Amazon frontline save the Amazon. Our home too.

GREENPEACE.org -SAVE THE AMAZON

750 Starving lions were found in captivation ( malnourished )& their sole purpose for living was for Trophy Hunting.

Trophy Hunting?

People in Serengeti are being forced from their homes to make way for poachers to slaughter our earth wildlife. Our delicate & intricate ecosystems.

China killed another whale today.  After 30 years of efforts to save these mammals. They are now activley commercially hunting whales again. Why?  Greed & corruption. The divided between the West and East is killing our planet with policies.

Yes, I’m passionate because I sense the complacency in society ( in myself even) to fill the void and over-consume. Desensitize our selves more to what is happening to our home. We have blinkers on. We need them to grapple our heads around what a mess the world is in & how what we can do about it.

One act in the right direction. A shift in thinking. A conscious shift. What you do (no matter how small or big) matters. What we do has consequences. SCIENCE 101

I’m sad & I’m mad. All I  can offer are my words & to spread the message about what is important right now.

Over what?

Diamonds that have no value?

Over paper planes & money?

Trees provide us the paper to breathe. Why do we ask more of it? How can it provide life if we burn it out to its very core?

We an indulging in a mass matricide with mother earth and self- suicide and genocide people all over the world. Our own world.

I’m spent. I have to write about what I care about. if only to reinforce what I value & truly believe in.

Goodnight