Reading back on words I’ve written
I mapped out a destiny of self hatred
Gulping down chunks of disbelief
I can’t loathe every part of the inner beast.
Choking on the words of the past.
No happiness to impart
No happiness to instil in my heart.
Struck by the shadows of villains in the dark.
Corrupted by an inner iago
Chanting in tongues.
I don’t understand this malarky
Find a place to comfort or hide
Another lesson not learned.
40 winks of birthdays celebrated
Not one has counted in culminating in a positive celebration.
The reckless use of words.
Contort my body
into a waking slumber of chronic illness
I’ve lost the gumption to confront my demons .
A dummy soul sold out to my own adversity.