Most of my memories are tangled up in music
A lot of inner emotional conflict arise from that music.
Even when I listened to these songs alone, on a tape recorder ..they affected me on a level where I didn’t know what to do with my essence, my spitirt, my soul.
Rave music takes over.
It has its place.
My first memory of music( no associations intended)
5 years old -a car – Johannesbueg -Step fathers car. bored. A cassette appears.
Album cover :(let’s give it a whirl /wind over/winde over)
Guitar -fliuck of the hair ( no girly cries cos I was 5 years old….)
Why did this song impress itself on my scattered/episodic memories ?
My step father was a rebel
/bastard/pheadophile/cheat/wifebeater/ worked t Pizza Hut
Mom woke up to the fact I could see her broken noses and my blood stained underwear…
No sound -only after that…
8 years old
Intro riffs couldn’t compare both of Waynes world soundtrack songs. 10 years old.
I noticed every part of me stop& listen to my Mom’s music….
Mom listens to :DEEP PURPLE-okaaay I’ll give it a whirl)
(10 years old thoughts) Who is this person who calls herself my mother? (Riffs, rock?) can I smoke a “10 year old’ cig, sure, no? Waaaah?).
(Whatever. Another memory I hit play on the cassette player as I free silk worm / catapillers, I walk around and find my swing (I’m the…
How I swung to the best of ……
until…. I moved back to my Nan & black out
My Nan was a huge fan of Pavarotti -this part haunts every Sunday’s woken moments
I can’t write any more BECAUSE IT HURTS – NO – IT MAKES ME FEEL EMOTIONs I can’t identify and reconcile with…..
This is when words and scrawlings in black markers took over my 12 year old bed room walls & the Annie Lennox ‘s Medusa album became mom’s obsession & an album that haunted me through my teens