Daisy in the willows

Most of my memories are tangled up in music

A lot of inner emotional conflict arise from that music.

Even when I listened to these songs alone, on a tape recorder ..they affected me on a level where I didn’t know what to do with my essence, my spitirt, my soul.

Rave music takes over.

It has its place.

My first memory of music( no associations intended)

5 years old -a car – Johannesbueg -Step fathers car. bored. A cassette appears.

Album cover :(let’s give it a whirl /wind over/winde over)

HIT PLAY

Guitar -fliuck of the hair ( no girly cries cos I was 5 years old….)

Why did this song impress itself on my scattered/episodic memories ?

My step father was a rebel/bastard/pheadophile/cheat/wifebeater/ worked t Pizza Hut

?

Mom woke up to the fact I could see her broken noses and my blood stained underwear…

EPISODIC MEMORY

……..

No sound -only after that…

8 years old

…

Intro riffs couldn’t compare both of Waynes world soundtrack songs. 10 years old.

Mom’s bedroom.

I noticed every part of me stop& listen to my Mom’s music….

Mom listens to :DEEP PURPLE-okaaay I’ll give it a whirl)

(10 years old thoughts) Who is this person who calls herself my mother? (Riffs, rock?) can I smoke a “10 year old’ cig, sure, no? Waaaah?).

(Whatever. Another memory I hit play on the cassette player as I free silk worm / catapillers, I walk around and find my swing (I’m the…

How I swung to the best of ……

until…. I moved back to my Nan & black out

My Nan was a huge fan of Pavarotti -this part haunts every Sunday’s woken moments

I can’t write any more BECAUSE IT HURTS – NO – IT MAKES ME FEEL EMOTIONs I can’t identify and reconcile with…..

This is when words and scrawlings in black markers took over my 12 year old bed room walls & the Annie Lennox ‘s Medusa album became mom’s obsession & an album that haunted me through my teens