Creativist FEATURE: Fear me, Dear me
I usually know nothing about the people I ask to feature. Here is the usual process of listening to music to getting a feature.
I’m listening to music and goawwing about my day.
A song stops me from whatever I’m I’m doing.
Hit repeat again. And again. Then before looking into the artist’s bio. Before thinking about how I’m going to put źßacross the themes I’d like to touch upon.
READ ABOUT MY CREATIVIESTS I NEED YOU! PROJECT
Mental health and how creativity by having a creative outlet to express ourselves can lead to better mental health.
My approach is instinctive. Before I ask myself how I’m going to achieve this in a feature interview, I realise I’ve hit send asking for a feature.
When people get back to me and say yes.It sends my thoughts spiralling down a tunnel picking up random and conflicting emotions
Yay, someone thinks I can write about them.
Someone thinks I can write about them in a structured way.
Someone will probably think I do this all the time.
(A barrage of emotions).
What do I know about interviewing and communicating?
I know nothing about this person/band.
(Frantic typing on my laptop).
I obsessively research, listen to their music, doubt myself.
Berate myself for doubting myself.
SELF TALK: I love doing this. This is another experience to add to my goal of writing -connecting with people. A chance to be creative. A chance to express myself.
A chance to embrace my own passion for writing. A chance to challenge my writing style and that means communicating with other people not just in the writing form but “live” speaking.
I have to come out of my writing bubble world so I can go back to the fun part of writing and researching.
I struggle a lot with my mental health. The one way that helps me stay on a good path with my mental health is writing and being creative. feel self-worth and self-validation that comes from inside, feeling like I have expressed myself in a way that feels genuine. writing for me keeps me away from my triggers for relapsing with my mental health.
I immediately wanted to run away from an outlet that I get so much positiveness from doing.
it is quite bizarre that my instinct to run away and not do the interview stems from my own thoughts about if I can be creative.
It puts pressure on me to follow through with what I say I want to do and then I am given the chance to do something I am passionate about not a professional music journalist. I am afraid to fail.
I feel like backing out of doing most features if I did that then I would be a hypocrite because the whole point of doing these features is to demonstrate to myself and others that feeling the fear and feeling inadequate prevents me from being happy. It is a challenge to my own self-perception and my belief that creativity does improve mental health.
The way I prove it is by doing it. This is my style and I express myself as the person I am because I want to be well. I want to enjoy discovering new people, having new experiences, learning and feeling a part of something that means something to me.
Posted on 2020-07-29, in MY BRAIN -MY THOUGHTS, THIS IS LIFE and tagged Creative Writing, Emotions, fear, Goals, Music blog, self expression, THIS IS LIFE, Writer development. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.