My thoughts on toking humanity
*Apologies for the long preamble. I have so much respect for many people /bloggers – people who have never met me. Read my words. I read theirs and I grew as a person by becoming part of a community. I believed kt thrives on communication, collaborating, engaging with others. I stopped reading other peoples blogs for 3 years I have felt anything but human. *
These are simple words about a complex subject.
This is a long-overdue post that I’m not just copying and pasting it. I am embracing the power of human gesture and I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t pass this on to someone and all the coincidence will turn into moments of synchronicity.
Patty helped me (via email with messages and ideas to give me support ) and she genuinely wanted me to be as well as I could and can be.
I’ve just found a rough draft that explains what the token of humanity is, my intentions were good, for sure.
At that time I was in a shockingly wrong & degrading mental & emotional state. Clearly, on the wrong blog too. Haha!
Apologies for taking so long to pass on the token of humanity.
It’s taken me a very long time to know what my writing “niche ” is like I have to choose one thing. Who said I had to choose one thing I’m passionate about and can only write about and be successful by my standards in multiple creative outlets. For the record, I draw stick figures. I would rock an abstract painting into an explosion of rich reds, greens, ambers, browns -maybe purple. I had the idea that my chosen creative outlets need to ground me too. I can’t always be high or euphoric when I’m doing good. I need to honour my humanity and fight through every dark day.
I always say how blessed I am, and then do strange behaviours like trying to take my life, hurting myself and my family. A token of something if giving someone else hope in another moment, another day or even another person. I know this because I am this person receiving this gesture to carry on with what makes a smile.
I’m scared of failing and now I have people to keep me busy I’m beginning to think I am a novice human being.
I’m not going to give up living my life and being a good soul who enjoys mixing with people who also want to spread happiness and inspiration into other peoples lives if only for one poem, or one post or one painting or one DJ set, one album, and the list goes on.
My Life, my values, passions and even my choice of my studies are proof that I am a true heart wearing humanitarian and I write for and about humanity and the beauty and culture I see in humans. We’re not all monsters yet.
I admire Dreampack and writers and humanitarian organisations who remind me that we have the ability to do something. Sometimes we can get too wrapped up in our own life shit.
It strikes me as ridiculous that it’s taken so long to know where my energy and where the focus of my writing and the kind of people I want to get know. I mean I’m not bigging myself up but I have a piece of headed paper with my name and letters after saying I am a pOST (haha) graduate in the humanities & still looking at the work I have done and How I feel I thrive when I’m fulfilling my piece of paper to prove that I can’t hide from myself any longer, help others then pretend that I have it all figured out. I don’t.
I’m grateful to the people I’ve met here and on social media and in real life who have unknowingly given the courage to carry on with not doing 1 thing. I had a long chat with a very talented. spoken word performance artist on Zoom ( we chatted for 3 hours) and he explained that he is not a fan of silly labels.
He refuses to let himself, his doubts, his family society, his emotions ranging from heartbreak o anger to rage to love to insert emotion here. I’m glad I recovered 3 hours of a very informal and fun interview on zoom. I’m honoured to have had the chance for him to tell me his story, share his words and encourage me (without me telling him0 that I could be well and stay well and still get high on what I love to do. No one can take away what I was born to do. Unlesss they cit all my fingers and toes off but then I wouldn’t keep quiet. I would continue to express myself and validate myself as much as ai validate and believe e in people when they are going through shit. Express me so that I can be happy, feel human, feel piece and not apologise to people who don’t deserve my energy.
My energy is better-served typing and spreading the essence and the energy and power that the token of humanity means.
It isn’t a way to get more follower/fans/glory in my opinion. It’s way to reconnect with the right people and keep connecting with people who Bring out this side of me.
I will feel I have helped others in their dark moments when these same people I communicate with when their sky looks full of soggy, soggy wet, grey clouds drenched droplets of more doubt
I can say it to my people: it will pass because that is what they tell me. I might mot believe but eventually, I thank them or hug them.
Life can be a shit storm. I stopped reaching out to our community because I had lost hope in the one outlet that doesn’t destroy me. What my creative outlets are given more writing to do. \I’m terrified I have3 hours of material to write what I’ve called the wordsmith feature- Andrew.
I want my words and what I felt from our conversation and exchanging of ideas – I want to give his words, time and talent justice. I want his story to encourage people, inspire hope.
I have another feature I’ve been dipping in and out of and perhaps I have; be clear about what I want to get across the doc features on people who choose to keep focused on their with creative outlets. I want to promote the gift that creativity can do to still the mind and to heal if you are patient, kind to yourself and others and willing.
So I’m overwhelmed and terrified of I screw up 6 GMAGS feature because I respect the effort and passion he has for his creative outlets. I respect he has and is willing to talk about the uglier moments of life that have led to the awesome moments – that may not have happened if he didn’t. I’m working with 6 Mag to work out a feature.
If you want to hear some of there older material
My final token of humanity is one I’m terrified of. screwing up because the man is a genius, elusive. He first turned me down for a feature saying he does not speak good English to do feature interview. and I persisted and wrote in very bad french -not giving up the chance he may change his mind and I’m not going to give up because every song I’ve listened so far and the small communication we have had or stuff he shared with me led me to discover an artist that blew MY mind. I encourage everyone to On the music and listen to her sport, the fusion, the soul; her energy. She embodies the soul and humanity.
read about her story here.
The Token of Humanity, brought to you by Humanity Lives On and Dreampack, is aimed at creating awareness on the impact of what an act of humanity could carry not only towards the life of another but your own as well.
It is in dedication to bringing knowledge that by surfacing compassion, spreading kindness and caring for what surrounds one’s environment is what acts as breath for your soul to live on in this world.
Without souls, we are just a mind that gets busy over-thinking about a lot of ongoing relating to oneself, a body that on parallel terms goes by what our instincts asks us to and a heart that beats in silence.
Bring our Soul Back to Life
Every week, we will pass on this Token of Humanity to those, no matter their circumstances, contribute to reviving Humanity. With utmost appreciation the first three Beautiful Souls we selected:
Natasha -Daisy into willows