Confessions about the illusion of class

Class is an illusion or an in trusion

 

Don’t mix your dish clothes with your serviettes

Ever heard of that one?

My Gran drummed that into all of us as much as she could.

She was born with money but lived the life of Cinderella because she was pretty and Grand  Mamam remarried and acquired two not so pretty daughters.

She fell pregnant at 16 and was made homeless and went to work as a femme de menage and then trained to be a beautician.

She fell in love again and had my Aunt.  Her Love left her like a  stolen kiss and she then had two children to look after.

 

She had to put my aunt and uncle in a children’s home so she could work and survive and send money to them.

It’s not a train smash.

Ever heard of that one before?

My grandpa drummed that into all of us as much as he could.

His parents left Russia in 1918, took on a Polish sounding name and ended up leaving a good life for the slums of Paris.

Grandpa was born in the slums of Paris.

Grandpa took to cruising Paris with the other street kids, always hungry on the lookout for food.

One day Grandpa got a chance to change everything. He got a contract with L’oreal to bring the brand and introduce it to the dark continent that is Africa.

Always an opportunist he took the contract, found my Gran along the way, got married to her (much to the disapproval of my Grans family) and left for Madagascar, then Zimbabwe and finally South Africa.

 

My Gran couldn’t leave her children. She had to tell grandpa that she couldn’t leave France. He asked why and she only managed to tell him about her daughter – my aunt.

My grandpa took my aunt out of the children’s home and gave her his name that very day. My gran couldn’t bring herself to tell Grandpa about her other son. He would remain a secret until he wrote a salacious book about our family many years later.

Grandpa would have taken on my estranged uncle too if he had known.

They went on to have four more children.

Grandpa made a lot of money and finally got live the life of O Riley in South Africa.

The fridge was never empty again.

I got to live a pretty good life too.

Did having money and class make me a better person?

It got me into a lot of trouble.

I had far too much money from my Dad and my Mom’s side of the family.

I got into plenty of trouble.

 

I ended up living in squats and places of poverty. I was always more accepted there for wanting to get high than with other wealthy friends.

The reason: I didn’t hide who I was.

I don’t regret becoming a drug addict.

It taught me that just because I was white and privileged that didn’t mean I was exempt from getting hooked on the same drugs that only the poor and coloured ( is a race in South Africa and not a slur), Indian and black community did.

Class doesn’t buy you happiness.

Drug dealers hated me.

They didn’t get why a white girl with seemingly everything would be wanted to live a ghetto life – have black boyfriends and live in squalor.

One thing having  class did help me with is get me out of a lot of trouble

Before you say money doesn’t buy class.

I already agree it doesn’t.

But have you ever noticed that some people carry themselves a certain way and others have an inbred look?

This is subjective and

Harsh, yes!

Don’t tell me you haven’t ever had that thought!

That person looks like …. (insert your thoughts here)

What I love about the Word Press community is I don’t have a clue who has money and who doesn’t unless of course, a person tells me.

It still doesn’t make a difference. All Good  Writing is classy in my book.

 

 

What irritates me is even though I am living on the poverty line not because of choice but because of choices I  have made – people who don’t know my financial situation assume that the reason I got my daughter back and managed to manage my mental health issues is because of how I present myself and because I look like I have money.

I communicate well.

 

Being privileged does not make me make better choices.

It doesn’t make me better in any way.

There are many people who live in poverty who just like me want to learn. crave to learn.

I truly believe ‘knowledge is power’.

I communicate well because I have educated myself.

Everyone should have this chance

 I’m in debt because I wanted to study in higher education. I am willing to get into more debt to get my Masters.

The problem with the class is the privileged have a better chance at learning to communicate and getting their point across in a “rational” manner from an early age.

We are all born with emotions. It is as natural as breathing

 

For many reasons when we display our emotions in society, we are seen as bad and showing ourselves and our family and friends up.

People with mental health issues -Rich or Poor get outcast as soon as they start leading their life in emotion without knowing the rules of how to be “civilised” to try to get what you want.

 I didn’t get lucky because of my background.

I got clever and I studied and I learnt. I watched people and how they interact. I went on self-discovery courses to find out what my priorities and beliefs and values were and what makes me tick.

I have had at least one chance to marry for money. A pity the person was double my age, got a great pension and couldn’t communicate unless in anger or affection and drunk.

I have never had a rich boyfriend.

 

I think the closest I had to a boyfriend with “Money” was a brief love affair with someone in the army who had so many issues that he accused me of only wanting him for his money.

Funny story. I actually crushed on him because he had travelled like me. He had opinions and ideas. He was creative and he made me feel special.

I am married for love.

My mom is not rich any more but she has a lot of class and really great taste in fashion.

She has been my wedding planner and if our day looks privileged: it is because she got clever

We got clever. We got our priorities right.

I am rich in love.

 

My husband to be was born in a place where everyone who hears the name thinks ghetto, drugs, inbred families and rough around the edges.

Granted Gaz looks like he may smoke a bit of the green stuff.

He has never smoked or taken drugs.

He doesn’t drink. Hasn’t done for nearly 5 years.

He does know how to communicate and get his point across better than a lot of the Rich people I have had the opportunity of conversing with.

His mind is open. He is not ignorant. I love him for that.

We get on so well because we try to put the world to rights, we are inquisitive, always ready to learn and find out about our world and even beyond it.

We laugh. A huge turn on.

Make me laugh or buy me diamonds?

Oooh, what will I go for?

 

 

 

 

 

About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on 2020-07-13, in THIS IS LIFE and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 50 Comments.

  1. A beautiful and honest tale, so much empathy and awareness within

    Liked by 1 person

  2. revengestar

    This is so powerfully written i am stunned.

    Like

  3. Advanced Research Technology

    I really liked this Daisy, especially the summary line, “Class is an illusion.” Ain’t it so?

    Like

  4. Wow they were really interesting stories! Always love stories about how relatives met and how we came to be xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. wwwpalfitness

    Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A @ moylomenterprises

    Thanks for being so honest. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Liked your blog. I love how light, airy, and peaceful it is. Check mine out sometime.

    Like

    • Oh hi Ash! thanks for stopping by. I usually do a full check out of all my new friends on WP every week. Things have been hectic with my wedding on Wed. I will so stop by your Blog asap. I can’t wait. I love connecting with others and the community vibe on here is awesome. xx Speak to you soon 🙂

      Like

  8. Nothing like being with someone for all the right reasons. Money is a wonderful accessory but not the most important and money never bought true love. Good to see more of you 🙂

    Like

  9. What a fantastic post, Daisy. In addition to that great story about your grandmother, you also make a lot of true and awesome points. Wishing you a beautiful day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m proud of my heritage. I think its important to know where your family comes from and I’ve always been a sucker for family stories. Thanks. I’m so stressed over the wedding. I just want it to be Wednesday already. Trying to calm the mind. I will defo be looking to having my mojhito on the day xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • I remember my wedding day. I was nervous and completely stressed. I wonder if all brides feel like that? In any case, it doesn’t matter when you’re the one going through it. The time has flown, hasn’t it. I hope your guest list worked itself out. It may not be of any comfort, but take a deep breath and take some time to yourself before the big day. Allow yourself some quiet time to clear your head and to re-energize. I wish that I had. And remember, you’re going to be a beautiful bride. Take care of yourself as you get ready for the big day. We can get so caught up in the business that it’s so easy to forget.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Brenda I would love to see pics of your wedding day.. I am trying to chill but it’s not really working. I have to trust that my 20 guests are all going to stick to their word and if not well I can be sarky and well …. I’ve given people enough time to bale out so they will have to deal with my not so sweet side. Ha ha! I will do and I can’t wait. Did you find that pre nerves were the worst part? Did you enjoy it? What was it like walking up the aisle? what music did you have? Sorry so many questions…. You don’t have to answer but it would be great to hear more of your thoughts xxxx

        Like

  10. Awesome post Daisy ! I had to chuckle with your Gran’s saying ‘ don’t mix your dish cloths with your serviettes’. So nice to get to know you more. Money certainly is not everything. Thanks for being you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha Yes, She was very old school and tbh was like a mag pie – she loved shiny things. My grandpa gave her everything. He was a big family guy and they were like day and night – she stuck with him through thick and thin. The good times and the bad and that says a lot. I didn’t know what people would make of this but the whole point of stream of consciousness is to write and hit publish – I don’t know if you know but my Gran has severe Dementia and lives in a care home but she will be at the ceremony with a carer on wed for our wedding. I didn’t think we would get her to a place where she would be strong enough. But she is going to be there and money can’t buy what will be a memory to hold onto forever .She might shout out because she can’t speak but its just her illness and well… it is just awesome that she will be there on the big day xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am super happy your Gran will be at your wedding to share your special day with you, no matter what transpires with her that day regarding her Dementia. I know how important she is to you. People must, and I am sure will understand if she has a moment. She will be there, and that is important.
        I will be thinking of you, on your special day. xxx

        Like

  11. Loved this Post.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This may be the first thing I’ve read here, or the first thing I’ve read by you in a long time, but regardless, I love the genuine tone, the interesting content and the way you sprinkle hard stuff with humor and funny videos. Best wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This is a great post Daisy. A lot of life lessons learned along the way. These lessons are priceless and have no class status. I have been wealthy and I have been bankrupt, but I found that the core of who I am stayed the same and the people in my life loved me for who I am not the size of my bank account. You are awesome in your always honest writing. 💜Alexis

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Alexis. Yes , that is a great message -many only love for money and are forever unhappy. we are lucky we have had a taste of both sides and I prefer the people who love me for me and not what I can give them. Thanks -I think u are pretty awesome too.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Quite a story, Daisy! It’s good to know you better, I’m glad you shared! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Super post….Daisy! May not seem so, but such opening up can be…often is…very therapeutic. Thanks for sharing. Hugs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Like you say, access to education is the disparity of class when then next meal is the fundamental need. I always enjoy stories about your Gran – now I know what serviettes are. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Thats an amazing and humbling story. Something we all have to remember. I like your premise of writing without thinking 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Great post Daisy. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

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