Grace full of distate
I’m not always distasteful
Some bluds might call me graceful
No more graceful than dying hair red
Taking a bath
A pic of fake Menstruation on social media seems needed as its relatable.
Those who don’t know how it feels when your daughter whispers sweet nothings in your ear
Until you can’t deny she is you blood.
Veins pumping genetics down to her very veneers.
Unlike a gangster with a knife
She can disarm me with one word.
More tears to fall.
She is my life and I feel shame to be told I am a failure according to ‘the perfect mothers’ bible.
Secret whispers in the night with my Bee and our cat
I’m elated by delight of their sight.
I pretend I’m tired
all I want to do is listen to an 8-year old tell me about her life
Virual is alright.
Her self made granny
The architect homes she designed
The way she does things back to front
Kisses her cat before wiping her face
Is it so bad
she has character?
She is a person with grace revelling in her precious nature.
I love her
Forget the love me not.
She heard me say that her dad needs a shaggy cut.
She screamed out in jest that his Mario sweater is replaceble.
Cut and dry
Wife with a belly full of fire.
She lived with an advisor
Who clouted her with words
She holds herself like a raw diamond.
With all my strength I wish I could embrace her with my words
Take away the miscommunication.
She is my blood
She gave birth to me
How could I truly hate her?
She gives advice and tips
Tells me: I’m wiser I’m wiser I’m wiser!
Tell her: I know I know I know!
Indulge her fear to check her memory
Alzheimer’s runs in the family it may not happen to my maternal
Mom and I disconnect because she thinks I’ve misplaced her mind with my mind chasing speedballs
With out thought
Nor thoughts of a future.
Denounced my victories
Declared I should be recovered nor heeded her advise
Disrespected her pain
I wish she could put her life onto paper
For now, I see she wants recondition me to remember where I come from.
I hadn’t forgotten.
Save my daughter who will never forget her cumbersome roots
No Respect for a mothers love
When the child has not lived an age of daughter & mom with 38 years and odd some
Not for the grace of any God did we want the same for outcome for my child of surprise.
She is the one who has become our saviour.
Breaking up the pieces of our past.
How can I tell her to choose between mother or grandmother?
Who’s life is already unstable
20 years from now perhaps she will be a disorderly
Drunk or solicitor with letters after her name.
I’ve has enough of her being held at ransom by the past, ifs and buts
all the songs screeched from
The rabid rats
The stray cats
We once loved them.
I live in a place that’s to become my home again.
Ive sinned in mothers eyes
Because neither being clean off coke, weed & MDMA nor alcohol is enough to placate her that I’m enjoying recovery after waking up from a 5-day coma.
I believe I’m trying my damn hardest to get better.
She doesn’t care when I explain the recovery process.
You have too many issues.
Time to find a semi used snot filled tissue
We powwow with our words
Resulting in bad art titled ‘the splatter’.
I’m not trying to berate her.
My heart breaks.
She falls apart into pieces of bloody flotsam
Salty droplets of water flick her face at high tide.
In another room
A child washes her hair
Cuts out the words she doesn’t think she wants to hear.
She doesn’t understand the possible dynamics of life that awaits.
I hope life and fate won’t degrade her.
My child’s soul is pure.
Please, higher power embalm the one I call my graceful dancer
For I do I love her.
My mom too.
I love her
More than the blank stares and words that are hidden in my mind riddled with bedlam made cancer.
Posted on Jul 10, 2020, in MY WORLD, WRITE TO RECOVER and tagged Children, Creativity, Emotions, family, Life, Love, motherhood, Recovery, Relationships, Stream of consciousness, these are my words. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.