My confessions being a crazy pycho b*tch*

“if she is willing to screw you, like you or date you -He can’t handle the truth and question’s why- so is She crazy or is He just being a dickhead for calling her crazy ( for seeing something in him -he is obviously having a hard time coming to terms with ?



When like me, you are a second generation-er (in my family) of hooking up with men that tend to leave me

Thus leave me wanting more “love”.

I’ve always thought that the more love I crave equates to more unkindness , more abuse & more words spewed at on how crazy I am.

When I was working on drafting a script- ( at uni),The main themes that cropped up were Betrayal & Love – just to name two.

I used to think a Solid foundation like a tent is good enough to build up on a secure relationship . Upon relfection a stone house is probably a better choice of material.

In 2012 I went on date (and eventually marry the first man, who treated me as his queen.


  • Honours me

  • respects me

  • loves me

  • accepts me

  • empowers me

  • Dominates me ( when I let him)

I couldn’t get my head around it. I still struggle to understand this love he has for me without the abuse, belittling & selflessness he has for me. Even after 9 years together & I’ve done a few things that nearly destoyed our marriage.

Slowly,I am starting to understand his unwaivering love.It is hard to accept his love at times. I immiedtely cower away from him. I second guess him, I look for a way out from experiencing true love and respect.

I mean ,I married the man who treats me so different from all the others.

I wonder if he is normal!

The thoughts come & go.

When is he going to start treating me in a way that I have been conditioned to respond to?

Why is it that even now, a part of me is sad that I don’t get the respect from those who have never shown me any respect?

All Genders are included in this question.

Take. Take .Take.

I Give Give give.

I don’t know if this a guy thing but it seems like ‘crazy’ is the buzzword to try and put a woman in her place -if she expresses feelings and does things that any “normal” person would do if that person was in her shoes.

I read up about this culture of slut shaming and I came up with the ones I think resonate with me the most. Here are the ones that actually helped me see myself as a person.

Here is a huge middle finger to those( not all ) men who think throwing out the crazy word to try and cop out or put me or any one of my sisters in our place.

She’s so emotional! F-ing psycho!

If I cry often or during difficult conversations, it doesn’t mean that I’m a crazy emotional mess, it means that I am a human being with emotions that I have invested into that particular conversation. Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, craziness, or hormonal imbalances… so please in God’s name do not ask me if I’m getting my period!

I can so relate to this. If I have invested more of my emotional energy into a friendship , relationship, acquaintance, career even, and I get upset when I have fulfilled my purpose to an individual and not got what I was expecting. What does a person expect?

If I don’t cry when we are having a difficult conversation. I may be trying to take in what has been said and let my heart catch up with my mind.

We all internalise and externalise our shit in different ways. One guy I gave my body and mind too, in the hope of gaining his friendship, made out like I was off my chuffing head because I asked for certain drugs to block the pain and guilt of what I had done ,after his ‘I have just fucked you. Here is why it can’t work’speech.

“If you can’t chill out with Valium then you are seriously fucked up.” said He.

This was said as a follow up to his

” I only smoke weed day in and day out and have Ketamine/MDMA/insert drug of choice here every couple of weeks or so.”

Heads up this guy has/had serious Addiction and relationship issues himself. I’m not finger pointing -I’m stating fact.

Another guy said

“I don’t really drink anymore” – I look around the house- it is a tip , empty alcohol cans ,bottles and remnants of ‘a party I had two days ago’, said He.


She flipped out when I left my dishes in the sink…she’s nuts!

If I get angry at you for feeling taken advantage of, it doesn’t mean I’m uptight and crazy, it means that sometimes I don’t want to be treated like an indentured servant or a sex slave. You’ve had a long day? So have I, and looking cute or being sexy while cleaning up your mess isn’t exactly on the top of my priority list. Anger is fine for men, yet when women express it, we are donned crazy.

This one doesn’t just have to be about dishes. It does seem true that Anger in men is fine, encouraged even. I have been an instigator of this myself.

“MAN UP” says I.

A woman gets Angry and lashes out !

Why is that crazy or anything less validating than a man expressing his emotions?

Some Men just don’t understand women at all.

It is easy to run away and point a finger and say ‘it is her- me I have my shit together. PLEASE LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING LIFE

She’s left me like 10 messages demanding that I call her back!! She’s not understanding the brush off!!

If I continue to call or text after no response from you, It doesn’t make me crazy for not getting the “hint”, it makes you a child who refuses to take accountability or responsibility for your feelings/lack of feelings. I know you don’t want to talk to me. I deserve to have that conversation even if it’s difficult for you. And at this point I’m desperately hoping you pick up the phone just so I can hear the terror in your voice. What exactly are you afraid of? Honesty? Grow up!

This is one, when I read it – A light switched on for me . Yes, I may have sent ineligible texts, nursing my heart with benzos and alcohol at the time, decided it was a great idea to text a person/s who I needed answers from. When I was picking up the pieces.It was a hard for me to be objective about because of where my mindstate was. It wasn’t a side I like to see in me. I looked pathetic. I got over it.

Until I read the above. I think me wanting answers is not unfair and this is when I finally realised just who I had invested so much time into –

Some Boys think life is a game.

Men know when it’s time to get honest and talk without their dicks.

You’re a crazy bitch but ya F—- so good I’m on top of it!

If I enjoy sex and I know what I like it doesn’t make me a crazy slut, or just plain crazy. An important part of being a woman is knowing your body, knowing your limits, and not being afraid to ask for what you want. People have kinks and preferences. Adages like “crazy in bed means crazy in the head” is just another way to make women feel badly for being exactly who they are.

We are constantly told not to be ordinary, normal, or boring, so when we embrace our not so boring side we shouldn’t be feared and shamed. Grow up and embrace the sexual revolution boys! A real woman should be confident in bed, no matter what her preferences.

Yeah, what I have to add to this as a woman is, I’ve grown into a woman -one way is I’ve gained sexual confidence in myself. I don’t not needing alcohol or drugs to fuck/shag a guy.


But true.

Men have rarely make any apologies for wanting to fuck me. Oh, hang on- I always get ‘you are so sexy that is why I want to….’

When I’ve show I can take control and say this is what I want and no I don’t like to be treated mean.

Some guy’s seem to love that, until………………..

they cum.

Then it dawned on me that if the man didn’t make his bed the first time – he sure as hell is not going to start now.

So he starts back pedalling. His spine goes as limp as his previous most erect penis .

That is a bit cruel. Maybe I indulge a man’s ego because I don’t want to say.

I can’t feel a thing. Are you actually in yet?

Maybe, I have had a child and slept with many or a few dudes or maybe I am just used to bigger cocks.


She says she’s in love with me…she must be crazy!

Lastly, If I tell you that I love you chances are I do…or at least I think I do. Falling in love with someone is difficult. Admitting to it, is even more difficult. Don’t belittle my feelings. Don’t give me reasons not to love you.

And don’t, by any means, stick around if the feelings aren’t mutual. I love you..there I said it…so either be a man and dive into this thing with me, or be a man and walk away. And remember, if after you’ve made your choice, (to stay and love me or to walk away) I am a crying mess, I’m not crazy. I’m just human.

Even if this is said by a drunk women texting. She may not love you – she may just have ” complicated” feelings for you. She may say she hates you in the next text.

Rejection sucks. Ever been there?

The biggest cop out is ‘it is not going to work but of course we can be friends’ two days later -unfriended with no answers.

Finally, be fucking specific. CRAZY is such an umbrella term. Its lacks imagination.

She’s constantly drunk. ( daisy adds when she is around him)

“She got hammered last night and was completely crazy.”

Do you mean to say, “She has an issue with alcohol abuse?”

That’s very different from being crazy.

If she’s constantly drinking that much and losing her sh*t, you might have some more serious problems to deal with other than her “craziness.”

Going back to the draft I wrote (2016/7)

I tend to write what I know. I  dramatised scenes.I like to get more creative and make it original, when I put pen to paper and got my draft down, then the editing process starts. Characters grew the more I wrote, and what they  had to say to each othe, the more the plot develops.

I started reading these articles because I was looking for motives for who at the time of writing the draft  I wodnered how  -the Antagonist –  could change & when or why.

Characters and real people all have light and dark in them. No person is wholly good or wholly bad.

About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on Jul 1, 2020, in THOUGHTS and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.

  1. i always remember, people who point fingers have one pointed at you, but at least 3 at themselves. you deserve all the love heaven & earth has to give 🥰

    dunno if u remember me, but this is (got locked out of that account so now i’m @; we even e-mailed once (M), last i remembered you were doing a degree in drama or smth 😊 hope you’ve been safe during this pandemic! peace 🕊☮

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do remember you. I’ll follow your new blog. I finished my postgraduate in humanities and I’m half way through my masters. It’s been put on hoild asI’m so busy these days I have to use my spare momenta to blog. I miss the old days of my blogging. I’ll sign blog, old friend xx


  2. Love that last little quote.. true and real

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is just brilliant! A thought provoking read and funny too in places. Fuck you in calligraphy, love that! It sounds like you’re not in a great place right now though emotionally, I am here if you need me, just a text or whatsapp away 🙂 xxxxx HUGS xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • No I am okay… SMILEY FACE. I just have a bunch of ideas and shit in my head and just thought I would share it. I am alright hun. Up and down – like a horse on a merry go round- as long as the music doesn’t stop. I’m cool. Oh I had to moderate this comment. Weird cos I only use comment moderate for first time comments xxxx I know hun -same here. I text u this A.M. just can’t locate my ph at the mo. Im not very good with keeping my mobile in sight.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Honest and beautifully written Daisy. I’m so glad you found a man who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I totally relate and love this post… woo hoo!!
    BTW i found your link on jackie’s blog… thought I would stop by and I am darn
    glad i did… 🙂

    Kind Regards and gulping coffee- K


    • Hi K.. Lovely to meet you. Jackie holds some great parties. I’m on my second coffee already. muchos caffeine needed. Will check you out soon. I usually check out new blogs and friends every week or so – please be patient. I like to spend my time getting a feel for a blog and be able to focus my full attention on what I am reading. Thanks for the follow. Catch up soon. 🙂 x

      Liked by 1 person

      • NO worries. I only do 2 at a time… that way I can get to know the person(s)… i am headed for cup number 4… have coffee will travel… 🙂

        Rainy morning here.. and thank you for such a pleasant reply…

        Kind Regards and raising my mug to you – K

        Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t know if you feel the same way but as my Blog grows. I want to pay attention and thank everyone and I do. It just takes a lot of time and effort – I don’t mind doing it because I come across some fantastic bloggers and love the vibe on WP. I’m slowly realising I can’t please everyone. I’m in the U.K. and you? – no rain – woohoo! cheers to a great day xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • USA -Northeast… and yes, I feel the same way.. hence the 2 blogs at a time..which may take me 3+ days… :)…Connecting is very important.

        Enjoy your day… I promise not to send any rain your way!! though, mother nature seems to have a mind of her own…. 🙂

        Kind regards – k

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ah lovely. ha ha! Yes, mother nature does have a mind of her own. Yes, well it will be great to get to know you better. In spite of the rain – you have a grand day xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Excellent post, as always. I can add one to it – “Did you take your meds?” It doesn’t matter what you’re saying or what you’re doing, they can justify anything and everything based on that. In their eyes the argument is over after that statement, therefore making the argument over for you. What would be the point of trying to continue?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. wow way beyond carol toxic! remember the gilmour townshend all lover s are deranged and aint love strange. i have that love hate thing with tessy she finally went north. now i m doin the bussard however absurd!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Love is strange and thinking you have feelings for a person can get complicated – ha ha! I like what Jim says – people are strange, when u a stranger, faces look ugly when you r alone, women seem wicked when ya unwanted -streets are uneven when ya down. – Love/ hate – different sides of the same coin. I live in the North – not in USA but North is North right? Emotions – love/lust/ anger/ whatever get a lot of people doing the bussard 🙂


  8. In other words, nobody in the world is perfect. May I say, this blog is amazing and have you ever thought about writing a book about this? You should, I felt like I was reading a book about 2 characters feeling or debating against what is wrong in this world with relationships.

    You should definitely write a book. Love it! Hi! Daisy. I’m back and I am blogging again. And I posted a new poem. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Stranger. I’m working on a new script of mine. I have read a couple of your poems. So many books to read. I’ve finally got confirmation that I am to start my MA in Creative Writing in Oct. So got a lot on my mind and a lot to do and read. You have been a busy bee. I super proud and happy for you and your book. My husband laughed at the synopsis bit where you advice readers to caution their patience:
      ‘these poems can make you see things,resulting in weird traumatic awe. Visions itching,neurons spasm, am I forgetting soemthing else? Oh! Yes, better CGI for the imagination itself’
      Glad you are back to blogging. Missed you Charlie. 🙂 I’m going offline for a bit. Life duties – ha ha! I will check out your poem before I log off 🙂 Love to you and your partner 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sorry for being absent. 🙂 Your working on a script? awesome! Is this a book? or a movie? Just curious. 🙂

        MA for creative writing…that is super awesome! I’m very and truly proud of you Daisy.

        hahaha!!! I’m happy your husband got a kick out of those lines. 🙂

        Life is wonderful and peaceful. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I love the theatre. I’m into experimental theatre. Theatre of the absurd and surrealism, that kind of thing. It is good to have u back. Yeah. I can’t believe it about my ma. I am kind of shit ting myself but suppose that is a good thing to feel. Means it’s worth doing 😆😕😆😆😕😆😆😨😨


  9. Excellent, excellent, excellent !!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Daisy, do you remember wayyyyy back when we first met, i was telling you about this book that was about the different way girls are educated about sex versus boys? Like they aren’t told they should expect pleasure or equality in matters of sex? Its only later in the game that we figure it out IF we figure it out. Anyway, the book is called “Girls and Sex” and the author is Peggy Orenstein. She’s done an interview in Salon magazine and was interviewed for National Public Radio’s “Fresh Air” on March 29th of this year. It’s really good information. Anyway, excellent post, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gosh . Yes , that was waaaaaaaaaay back but it does ring a bell. Defo going to chase up the interview first. Thanks. I just can’t believe how much shit women take from Men. Then I find someone who above all wants to make me happy. We try all sorts of stuff. Sometimes I ask ‘What do u get out of this?’ My husband notices subtle things like a change in my breathing, eye contact, me relaxing, me moving or not moving and he loves finding out what pleasures me. He says I know his body very well. ha ha. I guess it is so easy for me to focus on performing for another that I forget about my needs. To the point where an orgasm is something I wonder if it actually exists for a me. It is a great feeling to have someone willing to give to me and trust he won’t be offended if it takes time to figure out what really works or doesn’t …

      Thanks for reading, Meg x

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’ve found yourself a winner, Daisy! And so has he! xo

        Liked by 1 person

      • Indeed I have. We have. He brings out the best in me. He has seen the worst of me and vice versa. I trust him 100% and I will never and have never lied to him when I have fucked up 🙂 I invest a lot more time in to the winners in my life. The losers are not losers but great inspiration for characters and they can go into my writing and scripts bwhahhaha – my rules – mwahahahaaaaaa 😉 xx I have actually been tempted to ask certain people for interviews to create a 3 dimensional character- I don’t think certain people would appreciate it but the thought has crossed my mind. Am I alone in this?


  11. tarnishedsoul

    “Crazy” is another generalization of individuals. Simply, it lacks the intellectual capability to truly understanding a person, doesn’t it? 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

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