Second Life- Mort tell et tea

 

* This Borderline poem was written a week before I attempted to take my life (again).I ended up in Critical Care  in a coma for 5 days & in ICU for a further 6 days. I was discharged from hospital on the 21st of May 2020 *

 

Please, make sense of  reality.

Use a stream of consciousness

words to vent,

rant,

rave,

A discovery in recovery

 Fathom out sense because words are only as good as the interpreter.

20200521_0850322064238938547478683.jpg

 


 Could add literary success to a Gravatar profile  in  an ebook

Add few drafts poured into that fulminate crunched up chaos.

This doesn’t invoke a feeling of literary success.

Trying

Struggling to convey all words .

Reciprocated words are often misinterpreted

Misheard

Another attempt  to convey these words

Perhaps one person will see this array of affray spread its torment defecating the inner spiral case of the

Mind,

It swirls descends these steps in every way.

The moment to call it a day

This draws an outline forever have to have the last say.

Hear me proclaim

This

Is

My

Life.

Don’t want to carry on living this way

Shame lingers

It overstays — the bailiff  texts for rent arrears

Read,

What is laid down?

Listen

I’m not done yet.

 

 Hanging by a thread it’s tethered

Seen many days to identify as weathered

 Hanging by a thread

This is my life purpose!

Final chance to  meet my fate

Waited for this all my life

A  mystery date with a severed soul mate.

 

Taught & tethered & weathered is this rope

To late

 convinced

I’m no tight rope walker.

I’ve become my own word stalker

Shoulda, coulda, woulda arrested these rants before my digress

 

Covert corner

Wait in this hidden corner.

 

Evidently I’ve learned that survival is innate.

It ain’t easy to digest the days I’m not blessed to eat from a plate.

 keep rising up despite a life times worth of trip-ups.

 

Until I die

One fine day

I’ll face the final exit of my mortality

 

I’ll know the truth

Either way it’s gonna end up with a body

Fatality.

Subconsciously  know why I feel

It’s called humanity

What do I know about that  damp dark corner entertaining souls I’ve yet to meEt?

Going to have to wait for a future promising chance we haven’t dreamt of taking yet.

If I lose all memory

 Forget those words  

soggy, wet, lost to another realm of the bereft

Lest I forget.

I write to recover.

Be happy or die trying.

 

Simultaneously a resilient species & inconveniently inept

 

 

 

About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on 2020-06-07, in POETRY-FREESTYLE/IN YER FACE/EXPERIMENTAL and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. I think you’re very brave to go through such a harrowing experience and come out stronger.
    Very best wishes always

    Like

  2. Daisy..I’m not quite sure what to say..as you said I hope my threaded words reach you and waiting hear more from you

    Like

    • They have reached me, Akhila. Something happened to me when I was in coma-I thought I had been abducted by Aliens. It was torture Hot and cold, they were performing experiments on me. It was what my Mother calls Purgatory. I was in such pain-physically, Emotionally and Psychologically I kept on seeing my Mom’s face and I came to what I can only describe as Atonement. When I was discharged from hospital on the 21 May 2020, my Mom who has her own faith described how she prayed to her God for 5 days until she was out of praying. And she went to go and lie down on her bed and gave her control over to her God. She described a feeling to her Higher power that she had never felt before, ‘As of God was looking into her heart. She felt peace. The equivalent to my experience of Atonement was she had been ‘Anointed by Christ’. I have so much on at the moment with finding a new home, home schooling, my Mom’s illness and many other priorities that I need time to reflect on this near death experience so I can write authentically and from an objective stance about it. I apologise for not being as active on my blog as I’ve recently bought my domain (YAY!)9 and I’m navigating my way around plug ins, the new WordPress block etc…

      I’m not a quitter. I am here for a bigger purpose.I am on the right path. The light has over taken the darkness. ❤ big hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. 😟😟😟Life is precious and so are you. And no situation has to be permanent. You are never alone 😰

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know it is. There has been a huge shift in my thinking and my perspective on life. In e weeks I have made so much progress. I see my worth & I have hope again. I was in purgatory for 5 days . I remember it all. I thought I had been abducted by aliens. Hot and cold . torture . utter torture. It is a miracle that I’m alive and not paralysed or brain damaged. My life is moving in a positive direction and I’m never going back to that place mentally & physically again. Life is precious and so short. Xx. I’m OK.

      Like

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