Mercy for a chancer
When I say I want to disappear
By God, I truly want to conjure dark sorcery
never come back to this planet.
I’ve tried to take my breathe many times
This might sound like Self -pity ( perhaps it is).
But I’m not here to get into it.
These are about my feelings.
I’m not a poet. I’m a person who has feelings & thoughts I need to express.
I’m not trying to hurt anybody.
I’m trying to live the best way I can,
I’ve tried to take my life many times (and) yet, here I am.
I do the best I can.
Deep pan Pizza, Fried Chicken,Sushi, Prosecco.
Get my fringe trimmed,
My daughter, a mermaid’s tail.
Yes, I have sinned!
But I’m still here.
And all I want to do is disappear because I know that
Everyone I love,
Everyone I know is going to be gone.
And I wouldn’t have made the bonds with who I brought into this Life
Mor the people I’ve met or come across.
I won’t have secured any bonds.
I am lost
I am always forlorn.
I wear my
heart on my sleeve and
I cry. I
pace this kitchen over & over
And no I don’t have an excuse for relapsing
And I don’t have an excuse for what I have done.
If there’s one thing I am certain of my heart was invested in it all.I’m trying to do the best I can!
I wish I wasn’t here. I have plans- is this a death threat?
I don’t know.
All I know is there is pizza cooking, and I’m on my last tether
Overdoses don’t do it.
Maybe hang myself?
I’m (just) so far gone. This is not even a poem.
Posted on 2020-02-07, in POETRY-FREESTYLE/IN YER FACE/EXPERIMENTAL and tagged Embrace change, Emotions, Experimental Writing updates, Family matters, Love, self love, suicide awareness, THIS IS LIFE. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.