Nefarious dove

I’m searching inside for something to help define me
All that populates is the emotion –
Weak –
inside me.


Over and over – the word like a strained bacteria multiplying in a temperate simmering heat.
Don’t want to speak -move my feet.
Feel like a caricature of a human being.


Falling,
Let me fall into some black abysmal seeing.
You are the strongest person I know, says he.
You mad fool!
what has love done for you,
To be so possessed by the voodoo in me?
Stop.
Stop.
I want to stop feeling.
Yellow, blue, red little pills rally around me.
These little friends have mastered their great skill to feed me and confound me.
Blister packets pop festive like its the fourth of July.
Muted slumber please come and blind me – let me just lie
Still
Waters.
Values made of plastic.
Bottled up emotions.
Swallow.
there is no nectar sweet song in my voice that follows.
Anxiety pervades. I have to shout out – GO THE FUCK AWAY!
Petrified
Timid


A creature crawling out the woodworks.
the first sign of stress and sorrow.
A trail of slime leaves evidence that this creature has no courage to face life’s cruel, sooty smirks.
To hell with it all
Horror.
Take me down — let me fall.
Sleep?
make sure the crash comes from somewhere steep.
Don’t let me wake up -covered in wet rags.
The apology of my life will be over when I wake up and grab for my fags.
Smokescreen.
It’s the best way I know how to protect my own self-esteem.
Selfish.
shellfish.
Lost my nerve.
Caught and quartered in the nets of the absurd.
Find myself served up as a delicacy dish.
Eat me
Drink me
Consume me -if you must.
Just don’t make me face this reality
for my soul has gone and inanely combust.
A Letdown.
Shaking out Scraggley hair
This is all I have to show for the one I claim I hold in my heart – dear and fair.
Slumber come and give me my due.
Infiltrate my blood with the toxin.
That takes my body and locks in.
Show the true colour of my heart –
a dismal, manic smudge of dark blues.
Singing.
I’m sorry my love
I am that nefarious dove.
Aces.
hearts.
we are meant to be the best pair.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
Tomorrows’s bells will awake me to a harrowing carnival fair.
A Rendezvous.
no time to be fashionably late.
My dearest,
if I let you down and forget to close the gate-
may I languish in my putrid stench of cowardice?
Have no fear. Please rest.
May I never truly fully awake from this hell I have made my home state paradise.

About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on 2020-02-05, in Experimental Writing updates and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 39 Comments.

  1. I’ve tried to like a couple of your poems. I can’t figure out why WordPress won’t let me πŸ˜•

    Like

  2. this is raw perfection 🌹

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very powerful ideas here.
    Glad I stopped by ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You manage to capture the rhythm of speech in your lines.

    The other thing I like about this piece is that I get the sense that the lines will fly apart…that it’s that rhythm that unifies the words. Nice work.

    AND

    I’ve nominated you for the Respect Award…

    You don’t have to do a thing…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Things can get better. I’m glad you’re managing to express your feelings through writing. I do this a lot as well, although I don’t post it. Does it feel cathartic to you? I hope so.
    Remember, the one thing that true’s in life is that it never stays still

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Advanced Research Technology

    Do not worry. All will be okay. You can step forward now… and leave the past behind. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Daisy, you poured out so much emotion in this poem. I don’t even know where to start.
    This is a different side of you I have never read before. Which is a good thing because I can sense that you are a fragile and sensitive person. That explains why I connect with you in so many ways. Lovely a beautiful masterpiece of poetry. πŸ™‚ My favorite. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love this. Lot’s of emotions!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You are swimming in a bog of emotions.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sending you BIG HUGS!!!!! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. A lot of powerful statements in here. I love this kind of poetry actually, when it’s an ugly subject, but the language is so beautiful. That’s how I try to write a lot. My favorite example: “may I languish in my putrid stench of cowardice”.

    Liked by 2 people

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