I’m feeling suicidal

I can’t deny the concoction of escapism acts help keep me in denial.

Too many people looking out for me

I haven’t  had enough time  or privacy to actively find a sure way to make sure I’m undisturbed  absolute in my effort to be free

My daughter deserves better

I can’t connect with her

I’m not blaming anyone else for my failure to join the dots.

A girl succeeded in jumping off suicide bridge in 2019

I wonder if this morning will have an impact on my odds of survival – washed up in the river. The law doesn’t get I don’t want to be saved.

My calculations are all wrong.

I’m not doing this because of an income

9 months later after an ESA inquest assessment

And I’m safe till 2022

thanks for letting me know

Government Orange agent.

It doesn’t make me  happy to know that I don’t have to show up & prove I’m ill

Everyone else has a hard time at proving they are  beyond  over the mental /psychical capacity hill

They are sick

Why can’t  I CAN’T KEEP MY MIND STILL?

The odds of taking an overdose tonight getting it right are slim.

I need to run a warm bath and make sure I hit an artery

let the blood bad

bad blood leave me

Circulate not from within

I should have this right.

I’m in support of the assisted dying law for those whose  aguish is terminal

a mental psyche destroyed with life’s poison.

I still haven’t eaten.

This isn’t poetry

I’m borderline convinced I’ve lost the plot. I  told too many people my plans & now I’m living with the consequences.

Keep my daughter safe from me

She deserves to better. I m certain that better is far away from a mind convoluted by past & insight into the mother I am not.