In the twilight of my mind

I arise from my slumber.

A perfect piece of calm envelopes my sacred space.

It intertwines with my beating heart.

A knock at the door.

The man from two doors down-

Inebriated,

Staggering,

Incoherent.

He mutters about galloping away from his latest nightmare.

My child –

Her peace disrupted by a primitive, feral sound.

I breathe,

Desperate to inhale pure oxygen.

Disruption causes me to

Choke on my anger.

I’m forced to close the door, only because I’m fair.

A warning odour of familiar carbon monoxide threatens to extinguish all hope.

The scales tip

Unbalanced.

I fear I’m falling to the ground.

A piercing tone emanates from my mobile phone.

The one who I hold dear in my arms can’t get out of her abyss,

Again

Alone with my lonileness.

I think of my cat.

Force tablets down her throat.

She pukes up bile.

I weep wearily .

She needs to cough up fur balls not green mucus.

Get better my loves: My world.

I peer out my windowed prison

I look above.

There goes a bird

Wings spread soaring above.

It reminds me of the phoenix

I reach for another kleenex.

Blow the ashes from my grey matter .

Alone.

Alone.

I reach for my phone.

Its time for the school run.

My child needs to leave home.

One day she won’t look back to see me smile at her regal pose.

Another day in this world.

I see the real life heroes,

Walking to work,

Catching buses to fill the void from their hurt.

One thing is certain I’m not alone in my loneliness .

We are a collective of souls

Waiting.

Queuing up for a moment to peek a glimpse of Elysium.

I pick myself up off the floor.

A needle and thread catches my eye,

I stitch myself back together.

I open the door.

Times run out -it refuses to stand

Still

I feel a sense of the ghost of his Holiness.

Unrevised stream of consciousness .This needs a lot of work.

Inspired by reading a poem by, Kathryn Maris, called ‘School run’.

National poetry day 2018