ACT OF SUICIDE June 2020
OUT OF LIVES
The final demise
Can’t even
Summon up the courage to put my coat on
I know I would get in a dither over which one to wear.
I’d grab my converses
to growl at my fear –
dare it get in the way.
10 minutes
walk
to north bridge
Figure out the best place to land
deliberate if the fall will cause fatality.
II don’t want to strive to take attpents on my life
No dutch courage to tip me over
but a load of bentos
thadon’t know how to make me fall over
anymore
Alone,
Alone
alone
here with my phone
No one to call
Knocked down all ten pins
I win all the games.
I’m thrown out
N one believes I can never miss when ti comes th the kock down
Hey Mr holiday
YOu forgot your flip flops
Finally found the right size –
ah right then I’ll see you in the wind
Blood
dried
scrape
my inner thighs
Damb. I made it die
Life
everything that was
is no more
The battle of the bulge
White flag dido voice lasted four days
The demand to keep the enemy numbers down erupted in wrong strategy
Leaders often cry alone in the dark
or they contuse to rise to power
it’s all a demise
a loss of self, the truth
a departure from humanity
I think I’m nearly there
Oh lord
Fragile
I used run my own show and now Biggest low blow
The phone is live – fuse short
It feels dysfunctionality
Why do I leave as my legacy
Sorry bee -Im a travesty
Dman.
Not one penny left to see
My wedding ring is finite
Born into a shape resembling a homeless shadow
seeking a bright light
The fear
the bug flows have got me
Jah, Can have little of that grounded vibe.
I’m noting but a numvber
Take the [pills
and jump \
If I rise as I wake may I pull the life saver with me to my final; resting place
The fat is kneeding
holding me
I’m not proud to know the self I feel crumble
I’m sane by dealers who see the signs
one direction – this bitch aint benign
So alone -I can’t move – I have no hope to look after me
my daughter, my world
So goodby – bet you all happy to see the last of me.
Posted on Jun 5, 2018, in POETRY and tagged Depression, Emotions, Life, POETRY, POETRY, suicide awareness. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.
I feel a sense of being lost, with this piece. And restlessness; perhaps almost panic, or a rush to get to the finish line.
Hope you’re doing OK, lovely. I certainly won’t be happy to see the last of you ♥
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I did struggle with this piece. I doubted whether I should voice my feelings write about sonething so negative of surviving a suicide attempt on suicide awareness day.
I’ll be ok. Life has ups and down days don’t they? Lots of love, beautiful.
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