ACT OF SUICIDE June 2020

OUT OF LIVES

The final demise

Can’t even

Summon up the courage to put my coat on

I know I would get in a dither over which one to wear.

I’d grab my converses

to growl at my fear –

dare it get in the way.

10 minutes

walk

to north bridge

Figure out the best place to land

deliberate if the fall will cause fatality.

II don’t want to strive to take attpents on my life

No dutch courage to tip me over

but a load of bentos

thadon’t know how to make me fall over

anymore

Alone,

Alone

alone

here with my phone

No one to call

Knocked down all ten pins

I win all the games.

I’m thrown out

N one believes I can never miss when ti comes th the kock down

Hey Mr holiday

YOu forgot your flip flops

Finally found the right size –

ah right then I’ll see you in the wind

Blood

dried

scrape

my inner thighs

Damb. I made it die

Life

everything that was

is no more

The battle of the bulge

White flag dido voice lasted four days

The demand to keep the enemy numbers down erupted in wrong strategy

Leaders often cry alone in the dark

or they contuse to rise to power

it’s all a demise

a loss of self, the truth

a departure from humanity

I think I’m nearly there

Oh lord

Fragile

I used run my own show and now Biggest low blow

The phone is live – fuse short

It feels dysfunctionality

Why do I leave as my legacy

Sorry bee -Im a travesty

Dman.

Not one penny left to see

My wedding ring is finite

Born into a shape resembling a homeless shadow

seeking a bright light

The fear

the bug flows have got me

Jah, Can have little of that grounded vibe.

I’m noting but a numvber

Take the [pills

and jump \

If I rise as I wake may I pull the life saver with me to my final; resting place

The fat is kneeding

holding me

I’m not proud to know the self I feel crumble

I’m sane by dealers who see the signs

one direction – this bitch aint benign

So alone -I can’t move – I have no hope to look after me

my daughter, my world

So goodby – bet you all happy to see the last of me.

About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on 2018-06-05, in POETRY-FREESTYLE/IN YER FACE/EXPERIMENTAL and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I feel a sense of being lost, with this piece. And restlessness; perhaps almost panic, or a rush to get to the finish line.

    Hope you’re doing OK, lovely. I certainly won’t be happy to see the last of you ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    • I did struggle with this piece. I doubted whether I should voice my feelings write about sonething so negative of surviving a suicide attempt on suicide awareness day.

      I’ll be ok. Life has ups and down days don’t they? Lots of love, beautiful.

      Like

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