Monthly Archives: Jan 2018
Great ideas and plans sometimes mean delays.
I’m the worst person to put off goals I’m passionate about. I am learning that if I want things to look and come across a certain way, I have to wait.
I’m beyond excited to be approached to be a part of an industry I love. I’m one of those people who will do what it takes to learn how to be the best at what I am doing and then worry about the money.
I do believe ‘money is a means to an end’
I’ve had money and I’ve been on ass and lined up in food banks.
No-It’s not fun owing money left, right and centre.
It’s a bleak existence not knowing what the true value of money is.
Today-I know the true value of money.
Its value is not a destination.
It’s a means to get me from one part of my journey to the next.
Some people (who I’ve met in my life) wonder why I make out like I have an endless supply of money.
People have come into my current home and looked around confused —
“How dare this “peasant” make out /look like she is rich”-
First of all,
I am rich.
My idea of wealth is different to the next person. I grew up a certain way and some traits stay with us.
I have also realised the value in ‘letting go’.
No, I haven’t read ‘the secret’ or started an illegal job nor am I involved in work of a frivolous nature.
(If I did want to sell my body or body parts….)
Hashtag “Just saying”
I have Life to guide me. I have my personality, experiences and I have an open outlook on Life.
I am a student of Life.
Be happy. Don’t give your energy to the wrong people, if you do then let it go. What they do with your energy is out of your control.
We gain more from realising the power of letting other people be. It’s taken me a long time and many mistakes and heart aches, falling out with people and picking myself off the floor; to realise I gain so much from everything I do.
There are no mistakes, only lessons to be learned’ is true
Continue to stay to true to yourself. Embrace your quirks and work them.
Flaunt them and love yourself.
Look around you , think of all the people you have loved, admired, bigged up, given a part of yourself to
On reflection you may go :
aargh! what the wtf was I thinking..’
There may be a part of you who is divided —
…well that person is different. They are allowed to have an ” ugly” side because…
…their talent or looks or status make up for their faults.
We should all prescribe a dose of that empathy and love to ourselves-
I am blessed to have a daughter who is a direct reflection of me
She is my mirror image. I love her and I think she is smart, funny, creative, gorgeous, articulate talks too much, stubborn, a bit of. a dram queen.. The full package.
I love myself too.
I am not a super model in a magazine nor do I want to be. I’m not a model citizen – I would have my face eaten by rats in Orwell’s Ministry of Love and be high/ numbed by synthetic products all the time in Huxley’s world.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy indulging in a hedonistic life, zoning out watching and reading ‘Trash’ and watching ‘trash’ too. I
Go OverBoard by all means.
Make sure you get back on the boat.
I’m good enough. Be real — not a cardboard cut up of a media pitch advertising how you should act, look and live.
Thanks for reading my morning musings…
lots of willow’s GOATS2BDazee love
*This song & quote inspired a script I’m working for my Degree in the Humanities.
Basic premise: a jury split over the ‘ grey areas’ of a high profile court case, A young man is accused of raping his wife to be. Is he absolutely guilty of Raping his wife? One night of passion. Two stories. What happened that night? The evidence lies in the hands of 12 jury members.*
‘Now are they not twayne then, but one flesh. Let not man therefore put a sunder, yt which God hath coupled together.’
‘Do you promise to tell the truth, so help you God?
In one gender.
Half a dozen men fester in a room
Separating Sensationalism versus truth.
sweltering Summer days spent
In a hyped media playpen
Forecast for doom.
Devising the fate of a boy
In touch with his truth.
A mistake , is he to fall?
Be punished for the ongoing debate?
Does it make it right?
The boy continued a relationship with the sexually assaulted.
Public claims she is fearful of her boy’s sinister
Fright on sight?
It’s never okay.
No means no.
Damn, that’s a blow
No drug could penetrate,
Mass guilt floods
Semantic fluid clogs the mind
Of a boy done wrong.
Easy to get cynical.
You were to decide his fate.
Where do you compromise your
Determine the facts?
Voices tear apart opinion after opinion
Silenced into cloud funded crowds offset to dissipate.
What is a worthy punishment?
Did she manipulate Boy to gain the upper hand to?
….Deal with the death of her paternal bond?
Cash in on emotional connections equivalent to living in the cult of the son of I am.
‘Forgive me not or let me be free!’
Can we move forward?
Can we sever ties?
Chalk it up to experience.
Live without hubris.
His remaining existence determined by
A dozen eggs:
Hidden behind Neon flashlights pointing to God’s hand
Directing the choir to Man’s asunder demise?
Asunder is an adverb that means “into separate pieces.” So if you’ve torn your ex’s love letter asunder, you’ve forcefully ripped it into separate pieces — and rightly so.
Asunder comes from the Old English phrase on sundran, which means “into separate places.” It is a somewhat archaic and uncommon word and most of us know it only from marriage ceremonies: “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” In most cases you can use its more common synonym “apart” and convey the same meaning, unless you want to express a particularly violent or forceful ripping.
The title of this post says it all.
I have could give. (counting my fingers) at least 10 reasons to ignore reality. I’m a professional at life -escapism
I’m on uppers and downers.
I’m in debt.
My Bee (daughter) is ill.
The sun remains my disco ball.
It’s (literally) beaming rays of bright yellow (as I type)
Us humans are not a dying species. We’re living in oceanspolluted with plastic and crazy levels acidification
I filled in a form – to
live on plastic to get by.
Tomorrow I’m still going to be here. I make my own fate.
I’m not a ray of sunshine.
Far from it.
Bees, (buzz) and almost three quarters of our earthling friends have been driven to extinction.
My Bee had a rough night. At 7 am I let her play ‘Jurassic Park’ on the xbox.
ha! ha! They are long gone but never forgotten.
My warped sense of humour has acted as my currency today.
I count my blessing because In my life I’ve been surrounded around 4 kick ass ladies- all showing me different outlooks on Life.
My Mom – A legend!
My Gran (who passed away from vascular dementia and Alzheimers on Mothers day last year.
I have to laugh – what a day to leave this world!
Wherever you are Gran – Thank you!
Tati! I miss my aunt so much. We had some awesome times together. She died of lung cancer in February 2016. I know that I’m not the only one who misses someone.
I have my Nan (on holiday in South Africa) who dedicated many years of her life and time to me.
My Dad couldn’t be assed. I love him,I don’t want wake up -one day – and realise he’s dead.
Je ne regrette rien’. Edith Piaf
In my heart ,I respect he was a part of the conception process. And Yeah.. we are human. Whatever!
My Nan took on his role when my Mom or my Gran couldn’t. Today’s moments of introspection made me realise, that most of the men I have known in my life have been weak, and spineless . I don’t include my male bros (in my life)
At least they seem it to me. Not saying they are weak all the time. just saying…….
I’m laughing… if there is a God (who clapped his hands ,one day and turned chaos into light. His (always look on the Bright side of life) son could walk on water but.. he can’t fix a gate.
My Grandad -RIP – I have this image of mim making business deals with every God of every religion. He was a brilliant, eccentric character .
I miss him. I wish I paid more attention to his perspective on life when he was still..
His favourite saying was: IT’S NOT A TRAIN SMASH
(my gaze drifts to look out my window, I strain my ears to listen)
Nope, No rail tracks in sight nor Choo Choo trains blasting their horns .
Surely the people who are out on there on their travels – trains, planes and automobiles- are more likely to tempt fate than I am……
It’s been a challenge to focus on getting on with life and writing this post….( without another night of ‘nada’ / o hours of sleep)
I’ve had to ‘dig deep’ and not wrap myself into from all the crazy shit that’s happening/ has happened
I’ve been singing away the blues.
This moment is … is a gift. This post probably doesn’t make sense. I care about loads of – and far too many. people
At the same time I’m sure I could be doing more to help myself and others.
(my eyes drift and settle on making out images of clouds. Moving so fast ) being true too it’s nature.
We are human beings. Life is tough and the ones who make it are probably…
…on happy pills .
I’m joking ….
Bad joke. I’m on medication. Loads of tablets.
Does it help? Sometimes they serve a purpose – then other days I want to give my all and increase my productivity dosage.
The fact is I’m still here. That’s good enough for me.
I’m blessed to have a daughter who commands my maternal instincts to protect her.
Many days have been more creepy carnival than Mardi Gras It can be scary and rather “trippy ” at times.
I stumble about from one task to the next,
..I suppose things could be worse.
Time to defibrillate my spirit into exsistance , whilst singing to the song ‘Staying aliiiiive’
Tomorrow is Tuesday. Fact.
I’m rather happy to be in the U.K. for a change-far away from the Twisted Trump oddity.
Hello ? what is he thinking announcing that he will only allow white immigrants into The U.S of A. ? The very day communities come together to ,
To unite and pay respect to his Sir Reverend Martin Luther King ‘s day.
He used community and solidarity to try gain human rights.
26 years too late..
This has become a national service day in the Americas –
Can you believe people are encouraged to fight war. To serve their country.
War seems (to me) the opposite of Martin Luther Kings goals. Okay I know about the Black panthers .
Civil war ,slavery….
Approximately two generations after the prohibition ban on alcohal – (top five most addictive drug consumed in the world)
We have the “Millenials” , men , women , young teenagers being encouraged to fight about religion ? (thinking) the ongoing opiote war. Money?
#MLKday for “civilians” who keep the true spirit of Sir Reverend’s agenda -to create a strong sense of community.
1994 -the year they decided give national services day to honour M.L.K.
This is the same year (I watched on the television) Nelson Mandela, late president of South Africa being released after 27 years incarceration on Robin Island.
Dr. King was arrested 30 times for his participation in civil rights activities. While Dr. King preached about justice, empowerment, love and peace, in the final months of his life, his attention was turned to fighting poverty. Sadly, more Americans live in poverty today than during Dr. King’s lifetime. Forty-seven million Americans currently fall below the poverty line.
So on that note I will sign off with a song close to my heart . The feature pic is my arm with Make Believe -sunshine will follow the rain – tattooed. Not easy to take when it’s on my left hand and I’m using my right hand.
Hold up, I’m getting into the swing of writing.
yeah, this tattoo is one of my Mantras/positive affirmations I use to get by. Life could be worse. I could wake up colour blind tomorrow…..That would suck.
Anyway.. I needed to write a post to talk myself out of self wallowing.
I’ve opened all my existing debt letters and I will get back to them…
Here is the song I love so much. It is referenced in a book I’ve read called ‘the Paris wife’ by Paula Mclain.
I sang away the blues…….
I know it’s not easy for most people. If I come across as sarcastic-
I am. It helps me laugh instead of cry.
Time to hit publish
Over to Nora bayes and a quote from the King.