Just a piece of paper heart

*Something I wrote in November 2017 whilst listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers ‘Give it away’*

 

Throw it away.

Throw it away .

Throw it away now.

 

It’s only a  a paper contract wasted on keeping real life from plugging in.

 

Throw it away.

throw it away.

Throw it away now.

 

What does it matter ,that you will know the out come only appears exactly the same?

 

Throw it away.

Throw it away now.

Throw it away now.

 

Is it ever worth the chase , crave, the chaos , the complications ?

Devastating collision.

 

The battle to assert who has control of the seventh wave.

The seventh.

not you or I

We  came and went.

No compromise .

No middle ground.

One bold walk on that white painted line

brainnav reroutes another path for those falling leaves

Seeking clarity in sage.

 

Do it away.

Do it away

Do it away now.

 

What is there to gain?

debts outstanding

Lives to follow.

Loves to give……

cheese and bread binges coated in butter-

Enough to give the heart a clamorous pounding.

 

Sharks circle —

its pay back time

merely out of interest-

The swell of denial is as shallow as it’s melancholic moan.

 

Cycling up a cyclic cloud

dense ,

depressive

manic mountain

— legless

Armless.

Voiceless to the doubt dubbing over the output time

  chants of Russian bass  erupt from within.

 

My belle — my vie

-La vie est belle avec une sourire

Call me —

no cellphones needed,

pagers

No technology.

Its embedded in our skin.

 

It hovers closely watching my flip switch-

the place I access when I’m doused in self loathing

Ignite the flaming fear of

The who is this person ?

The guilt of having done nothing…

….except find a way to appease unbearable backdraft

One will shatter

the reflection

I know is waiting to conscript  me into progressive lands

For being a  mortal being.

Love

— daughter lights candles to make her seem truly present

A shadow I wish to always welcome in my darkness

Her light  dances carefree abandonment.

Brighter than —

my lowest deeds — time I have not

To go through each error I have made  chewing off  another biro pen.

Smother me from far

With promises of intoxication.

Forget the food inhaled. Overloaded on  negative exposure.

Compromise my self and I lose all that I stand for?

 

I am .

I am not a line or a verse of what I pay for.

I a m self defined.

Believe in these words, little girl

 

Don’t just type — connect  the mind

Believe  life will shine again.

Rain will fall, snow will stick, sun will seek out  all your usual hiding places.

The clouds  create a dullness to reflect what I should be working on

My own grey matter.

 

The longer I let you find a space in my home

the harder it is to part with you and throw you out-

 

Get it out.

Get it out.

Get it out now.

All I have to do is

 

Shout

Shout

Shout it all out.

 

Don’t tempt me, little bruiser.

I’m ready to flush you out.

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