Do or Dye
Sitting on the roof top trying to tell myself I’ve not misbehaved.
Blush rose hues creep up my cheeks and I know my hearts desire is unexplained.
I look at the stars — one always stands out brighter than the rest.
I say to myself — there goes my next conquest.
With liberal wings and green peace in my heart ,
I know for the sake of inhabiting my skin-unconfortable feelings will always play a part.
Forgive me for being free spirited and seeking out a bon ami.
If I had testicles would my new gender let me walk free ?
to be me?
It’s a plea.
I love what I desire .
I desire what I love .
I hate it when my sanity decides to imitate a neat whisky on the rocks.
Truth be told – I know I’m getting old .
Disambiguous feelings about the path I tread.
May my daughter’s laugh always bring me round to the sound of present day clocks.
Murmurs of hesitation .
Live my life, have a voice, and sail away
Where else do you think I would choose for a holiday destination?
The one I never have to come back from.
It’s me inside me.
Dare to take a part of me — feel my anticipation.
The specials-the after math.
Told off for my impulsive reaction.
The fact I’m conscious I am typing these words-
I feel inauthentic in how they roll out my mind with a hesitant tense formation
Words rise up ,around me – Jab me and a jeer me to dare say whats on my mind.
I’m not a child and I’m not venerable just yet .
So I swim against the tide of the alphabet soup.
Clarity I seek.
One tidal wave from forcing myself to write these words down;
If only to reinforce I have my own sound.
Sound as a pound
Scared of clowns .
That’s better-Socs — that’s my deal.
My contraband.
How I get from a-z- without reaching out for the plan involving illegally, prescribed Ativan.
Banned from my perception of the elite.
Breached my licence to complete…
Should I hit delete?
This is my beat.
I won’t let me beat me down.
Self is the worst enemy-you know how it ages your reflection
scowling in a frown.
She’s back in business now . Wah da da da da — the song clearly has relevance in my sense of decline.
Fall 8 times — get up again.
Who am I to want merely blend in?
I was born to be a Bengal feline.
Character building — life coach ,I sense my patience won’t let me vote for your reality T.V. yoke.
It makes me sick.
Confession .
Watch one episode and I will mutate into just one more cockroach.
I’m on the down line with a mean upper hook.
Priorities in order.
House work infected by the pox — aren’t you glad you vaccinated your park life children?
Let my demon free to infiltrate the anti’s, confront them with the disease bitten book.
Have a say — what’s the worst that can happen?
Speak your mind — illegal aliens might just descend from that planet called Saturn.
Write to recover. Write to escape.
Shake up your mind , dare to continue —an inner ongoing live debate.
Not for hate — you make your own fate.
Feeling Anxiety. Too worried about what John Sax’s might reveal to his munchie queen.
Know thyself and be true to yourself.
I’m not going to change my character to fit in with society’s latest heart melt.
Superstitious mind – I earned it in walking my path — did you see my black belt?
Stand up for who you are and what you believe in.
Some may consider me strange but have you had a look at your inner heathen?
The entity is back — no wheel-dealing with a bad batch of sugar coated crack.
6 million ways to die — choose one
That came from a song – Who am I to sit around and hide?
* DEADLINE for EMA Sunday night. *
The song -contains some cussing and may offend feminists ….. 😉 Maybe not this song 😀 Idk.
Posted on May 19, 2017, in STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS COLLECTION and tagged Creative Writing, Creativity, Emotions, Life, Relationships, Stream of consciousness, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. 34 Comments.
Good one Daisy. We have to stand for ourselves, because not too many people will do it for us.
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Thanks Hun, exactly, my point xx
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You’ve inspired me to Honor my own Inner Heathen. 🙂 Maybe it’s the necessity of invention. 🙂
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Hi Debra, I like that ‘ the necessity of invention’ . One way to evolve and explore ourselves. Hope all is well
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same back at you!
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Sweetie…it IS OK to BE YOU…with all your positives and limitations.
Love you! Big big hug, XxX
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❤ ❤ biiiiiiig hugs back x
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because he has to clean up after me
or thinks he does
because he leaves me with little to no privacy
because he is angry to be alive
like me sometimes
but yes
noone should
have
such children
but i love him the best i can
and now
you must
take better care
of yourself too
drink?
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You don’t have to live with that kind of abuse. I get so angry when I hear about this kind of abuse. Drink? It’s not my first choice- doesn’t change the situation but I get why. Can’t you get some one else to look after you? I know things a more complicated in the U.S.A re medical health. It’s just wrong. I hate injustice.
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we all have our crosses literally. yours is eating right and being happy with baby and hubbie.
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You need to stand up to your son. Let me have a word with him.im pretty good at feeling with bullies .
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I don’t feel byllirs😂 that would be insane. Let me deal with your son . That’s what I meant
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oh i do but sometimes it is a fight you cannot win. he s sick and he s depressed. athina suggested that i get my autism diagonosed . tom is the one who needs that. it s too late for me for me it s staying healthy so i can enjoy my impending good fortunes love. literally .
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I’m sorry , John but that is no excuse. There are other ways to deal with his issues. I’m not saying we do the right things all the time but blaming u for his own issues isn’t teaching him to take responsibility for his actions. We all have the power of choice and for every action there is a reaction . If it would help you get the support you need then maybe you should ask for a autism test….. whatever you feel will help. Maybe there is support out there that you don’t know about. Hugs
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that may be tasher. but i m in a health crisis so my focus in on reducing my blood sugar and not stressing my machine driven heart further. we do talk but it is hard when he does not listen. but an intrevention will happen eventually
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I get that, John but your mind and body are connected and if you are having physical health issues .it may be b3cause your health is respondingvto the stress you have going on in your life. You are never too old to take care of yourself.
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no i am not. hey by the way how in the hell are we gonna get mi six to come out and play? we both have to take better care of ourselves!
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You got me there. I’ve been preached to ha ha . I dunno how _ know a favourite fame 😉
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i like you too
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I get what you are saying. Just don’t internalize it. 😊
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too late why do you think my insides are out? been doing that since the age of seven!
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It’s your health. Personally I think it’s only too late when we are dead. Just my opinion.
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been non functionally times two times.
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Loving Hugs! 🤗🤗💕💕🤗🤗
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Love this Daisy! Good to see you. 😘 I kinda bailed on Instagram and I’m bad at checking Facebook! 😜
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Ha Ha! Missed you too my lovely.
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been sick
sometimes it is what makes me tick
i lick i like life
a prisoner
to a sick son
insulted daily
the only one
my mind
is kinder
and now
in changing
rearranging
for ships
passing
my night
eventually!
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Hey John, it’s horrible to read that your son treats you the way he does. Why? Eventually…… It’s a good saying to have . Hugs
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This is AMAZEBALLS
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❤
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Love you 😁😍
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BSM’s 4 evs
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Boom mic drop!👏
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ha ha! feel better now! ha ha
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