Honesty is courage

pride myself on not hiding behind kabuki masks

yet, I’m still hiding in the dark seeking out my whereabouts.

A familiar name being called from a place I know I felt zen.

I can’t manage to summon the courage to get in with the rest of them.

Success should be kite high skittle eventful,

not something that drains your blood, depletes energy,

life? I’ve become resentful.

If Honesty is courage

then I should be a  maned lion.

Here I get to sit and watch the world roll on by

prefer to roll down the blinds. Shade the light from my remaining eye.

Shut out the sunshine.

how dare those bright beams try to tempt me.

Keeping up appearances,

easily done as long as you don’t have to face people in reality.

Has my reality become so virtual?

Is Second life all I’ve got?

Would I even register if I have ever logged on?

I haven’t felt the grass on my bare feet for so long.

I forget every hour that goes past I can’t go back and hold on.

Fooling who ? nobody only myself.

A pick me up just so I can wash my hair and maybe pretend to care.

Where did I lose my carefree air?

I eat more than 7 fresh fruit and veg a day.

It’s complicated.

uPPERS

Downers

I can’t control the outcome.

sit in the darkness listening to melodies that once soothed the soul I carved out of pure love

Hugging onto a unicorn-    hoping for a fantasy to employ a mimetism of  what I once sung.

clear skin , bright eyes and oh so much wit.

What is done is done.

We tell the world to learn from histories lessons

Yet

we struggle to learn from our own

A paradigm of obstinate sin.

No words can express how lost I am within

Death

embrace me on a whim.