Indebted student :D

Yes, I am still plowing my way through year one of my Masters.

Woop! Running around like a yam shouting May day May day!

That is the month, Year one will be over and done with.

Aren’t you enjoying yourself, Daisy?

I enjoy myself when I see results! Deadlines keep my pressure up and my heart racing.

My next deadline is 2nd of Feb!

I started off with what could potentially turn into a novella with a heavily dense, plotted story about a woman with DID  and an Alter ego that wants revenge on a past attack.

All super fab and exciting to research and write but I only have 2000 words I’m allowed to write give or take 10%

I was then  inspired by this quote:

JUST KIDDING!     IT WAS ACTUALLY THIS ONE.

I spent 12 hours drafting a whole new story about a woman trying to come to turns with an affair/ obsession/fantasy she has (in a group therapy setting). Plenty of surrealness.

Then Christmas happened – Alan Kaprow -‘ it’s a happening baby!’

Not my kind of happening, however, I will admit I enjoyed spending time with my family and friends.

There is a lot in the media – specifically social media about suicide prevention and keeping us humans safe, with telephone numbers to sign post us to organizations who may help if we are having a shitty time.

I think this is fantastic!

 It also prompted me to put story two on the back burner and delve into my current draft which is some kind of supernatural -esque piece. I feel I can plot (without unwittingly out plotting myself or my character/s)

There is a lot of internal conflicts which contrasts with the Main characters environment/ the other characters in the piece.

It’s ahem.. fucking depressing to write.

Today, I had to stop twice for a break, it was that emotionally draining to finish the second draft.

It ends in death and a resolution that is reflective, real and tragic.

This is all just my opinion, of course – ha ha!

I’m currently taking advice off of my own Mummy -dearest!

 inject the piece with humor, darling.  Be witty. You’re a hoot in real life.

 People laugh at me not with me. The people who know me really well and see the real me- sometimes do laugh me with me. 

I have got a twisted, dark sense of humor and well, let’s hope I can convey it so it translates to the reader marking it. Must work on being funnier. I can do funny in real life

 Yes, I’m still going for my first TMA to be reassessed.

OH MY WORDY  HAT!

Then, I have the constant worry of my third TMA – another 18-minute play.

I’m exploring doing a piece on a couple who decide to have a baby or try to and maybe the mother can’t make up her mind whether she wants the child or not.

Does she lose the baby?

Does she have an issue with boys?

Does she only want a girl?

What does this bloody woman want?

I’m good at putting in obstacles in the way and creating tension – I put my characters through hell.

Oh, and then we have the final piece due at the end of May.

DareI state, I’m continuing with the second part (or act if you like) of my homelessness couple piece, I started in TMA 1.

I’m swotting up on Brecht, Stanislavsky, Meyerhold, Grotowski, Artaud etc…

Here’s a question:  All these (and more) playwrights of the 19/20th century inspired and evolved theater into what we have today.

Immersive theater/street theater/ forum theatre=- the list goes on and on.

These playwrights wrote about and performed plays that reflected the historical time that they lived in.

Why if I say in my commentary that I’m inspired by certain Brechtian techniques?  does that automatically translate that  I am doing a complete copy cat Brechtian play?

Don’t many successful modern/contemporary playwrights of our time take a bit from different (even contrasting theories about theater)  at times, to make something that is relevant to what they want to see performed?

SMALL rant-  😉

Can’t I be inspired by say; Brecht and his ‘estrangement’ techniques and ‘Gestus’  (without using it to the extremes he employed his techniques in his era?

He essentially hated the overly dramatic  French and the German style  theatre in his time. He lived in one of the most insane times- the communist era, wars, exile etc..

Of course ( because I know what he was thinking -sarcasm alert), he wanted the audience or just one audience member to go home and think a bit more about what they went to watch.

Perhaps, Brecht wanted witnesses 😀  to  get the cogwheels turning with questions like

Does it have to end like this?

Did it have to end like this? (in a historical context) 

What can I do as a person who has just gone to see a play themed around social issues?

Maybe an audience member/s could come to a conclusion  (or not)  that maybe their previous ideas (if any) about social change issues comes from within.

Not a government, not other people but from me, you?

Politics are heavy going so a play/ production does need to be entertaining – it’s a tricky pair up to get right.

Sometimes, a member of the audience may (or may not)  think:

‘What I am seeing here can’t be a representation of a real person or what goes on in real life   -or can it? 

That is cool – they are in a theater watching something made up essentially, no?

I don’t know anymore. I’m up to my ears in theories and being creative and trying to stay true to myself and my reasons for writing.

I do have enough sense to think about doing a full on Brecht/Grotowski/insert playwrights name here to show I can do it.

I may struggle- it might not be amazing or great but I can bloody well do it.

My stubbornness does serve me well at times.

Right, rant over.

Tomorrow, I get a small break from thinking about fictional characters. I’m off bright and early to talk about if/how I can help my community with the skills I already have. I don’t need to be a BA graduate or a business owner or a  mother or someone studying their Masters.

I merely have to be me! Full of flaws!

I feel so passionate about this project. I don’t want to jinx it by talking about it. I can’t talk about it- It would have to go in my volunteering page- Ha ha!

Please send me your positive vibes, mantras, empowering thoughts – all of that positivity shit. I fucking love it!

I need it – it helps me – it keeps me on the right path.

So, to end this ranty and rather a profane post

I will end in my mantra ( Second year of using it and it hasn’t let me down yet)

” I am successful at whatever I do”   

I put the hard graft in too.

Thanks for reading my ranty post.

Peace, love, light and a bit of attitude embellished with hearts ❤ and fleurs.

DAISY XOXO