Merely human

I lost my temper yesterday, let the Anger consume me and took it all  out, one person.

a03a89a50b2a5cc10b97351d25f228f1.jpg

Did this person deserve to feel the wrath of all the turmoil and pain that has been festering away for years and years ?

No.

There is a part of me who feels a bit guilty for dumping it all on this person.

I hate injustice.

I hate cowardice behavior.

I detest people who say one thing and then do/say  another.

I loathe people who I allow to take advantage of me.

Yes, I know am the only one to allow that to happen and it pisses me off.

I let people who shouldn’t and don’t mean anything to me: get to me.

 

giphy-5

 

ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT

 

 

 

I think (for me) I can see how hard I have fought to become the person I am today,then  I have people  around me who don’t even know me well- tell me positive qualities that  they see in me. They don’t have to say these things.

Then, there are certain people  I’ve come across in my life- they all look different yet carry the same traits- who are very quick to point out that I am the one with the problem.

Why do we question people’s motives  who build us up?

giphy (6).gif

 

Do I have issues?

Yes.

One of them is being tired of beating myself with another person’s shit sticks

The very people who called me a psycho or crazy or something else are hypocrites – somewhere along the line, I find out just how messed up these people are.

I don’t want then to be unhappy or messed up .

My issue is that they make out that their issues are mine.

No.

I take responsibility for my shit – you take responsibility for yours.

d0a6a240a7b83695ac954ed11fbcac4b.jpg

I am direct, blunt  and an upfront person who wears my heart on my sleeve. I have a lot of love and time to give others and I do allow people to take advantage.

I’m learning, but when I get caught out giving away my energy to those who have never even bothered to respect me or even ask me  how I am or even ask anything about me – my emotions build up , then like a tornado the emotions pick up momentum  until  I can’t contain the wrath I feel.

Anger may be seen  as a useless emotion.

tumblr_lq4ieaCHSU1qzqvm2o1_500.jpg

 

In general, I am not an angry person.

I just don’t like people who clearly have their own baggage dumping it all on me.

I am sensitive, I am the kind of person who will sit for hours trying to make another person feel better.

These last few months – I allowed myself to get sucked in,  manipulated  into feeling the need for a specific person  to want me.

In hindsight, I think I wanted to show that person who I had become. I went straight back to looking for approval from someone who I didn’t need approval from  to be me.

giphy (7).gif

 

I am aware I have my own self-esteem and insecurity issues to work on and I do, every day.

 I refuse to allow people to take the piss anymore and when I realize they have, my fuse burns up – I come at people like a rabid ,gangster dog.

download (5).jpg

Possibly ,not the best way to handle a situation because getting angry to the point where I am hurling abuse at someone and doing the exact same thing that person has done to me for however many years or months :is giving my power away.

So, maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said – I am not a person who keeps my mouth shut these days. I have done that for far too long.

I am direct, openly honest , to the point.

Is it fair to expect the same  from others?

Yes and No.

If the person is going to be a part of my life then 100 % absolutely

but

If that person isn’t (as hard as that may be to accept and feel) then I can’t expect these things from a person who may not have these traits or want to give me what I want.

It hurts.

People are going to do what they want to do and so it is always worth reminding ourselves that we too are human and have a bull shit  offload  cutoff threshold  until we act human.  😀

giphy (8).gif

I’m not going to carry on beating myself over the head.

I am going to carry on reaching out to the people who I feel good around.

I’m going to carry on succeeding and moving on with my life.

I had a rough collision with my past and it played out for far too long.

I had this idea in my mind of who and what this person is and my expectations led me to feel hurt.

 

f2b47d52500b7b0bfd9c4a8dbb7fa25a.jpg

 

THE ONLY TIME TO HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS

 

 

I’m not expecting anymore:   is my point.

There is responsibility on both parts but I can only take responsibility for my part.

Always question what other people call you and how they treat you before believing you are worthless and they are right.

Remember not to filter out all the good that people tell you about who they think you are.

Look back at all you have achieved.

Look forward to all you are achieving.

To wrap this up – I live by the motto

quote-i-shot-the-sheriff-but-i-didn-t-shoot-no-deputy-bob-marley-132-19-18.jpg

I’m the first person to put up my  hand when I have done something wrong but I am also going to tell you when I haven’t done wrong – I’m not going down for a crime I didn’t commit.

quote-i-m-not-judging-people-i-m-judging-their-actions-it-s-the-same-type-of-distinction-that-i-try-to-jeff-melvoin-284833

They say all is fair in Love and War……

I guess there are no easy choices nor right or wrong ones but there are choices and I guess that is about as fair as you can get.

cb4617f02fca629ff20abc9ce5ef4a6d.jpg

About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on 2016-11-09, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.

  1. I decided a long time ago not to expect anything of anyone, and therefore I’ll never be disappointed. It seems a sad way to live, on the surface, but the philosophy has rescued me from a lot of frustration and heartache.
    Also, I stay away from people who only ask for things. 😛 That helps. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • GOATS2BDazee

      TTIndeed it does his is an old post that is still relevant to recent events in my life. . I’ve had to become rather tough on Men who can’t decide what they want. I’ve found it very empowering and honest to state my feelings, ask for response and if that response is deduced two me being an option -I will give person the opportunity to tell me what they want. If they can’t I make that choice for them and for me. Once I’ve severed ties I tend to put emotional distance in the middle to protect myself. I then move on and I very rarely will go back to someone who feels they made an error. Ha ha I give a lot on purpose. Sometimes I do it to gauge what a person really wants. I tend to give the good times to people i car/ed about and I accept them and let them lean on me -It’s always interesting to see what happens when a person doesn’t feel they need my support. My support has a cut off supply ha ha! x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are a #badass awesome!!!I LOVED this message of yours.👍💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. hi Daisy it is me Morgan I have a new blog that is private but I wanted to invite you

    Like

  4. I totally get this and were you coming from. (very recognizable) You are on the right track dear Daisy, keep on walking! XxX

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think there’s something common in good people like us who wear their hearts on their sleeves is that we keep reaching out to others even the foolish judgemental ones’. I keep learning each day not to allow someone’s baggage dictate to me. You are a wonderful soul and that’s good enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love your posts. Realistic and fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nothing feels worse then realizing you’re wasted precious emotional energy on someone who wasn’t worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. summerstartstoshine

    This is such a good post D. You have a habit of hitting nails on heads dead on perfect when you articulate a point 😊 I have no time for people who try to project their ishoos onto me. Don’t change for nobody. You’re perfectly imperfect 😘😘😘✊👊💖

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Daisy – I think we are all struggling under the weight of our collective unknown. My skin is as thin as tissue right now! Blessings, Debra

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I know exactly what this feels like. Yes, I agree. We as humans should let out some steam. It’s better to let it out then to have feelings bottled in. It’s bad for the body, mind, and soul.

    Bless you my friend Daisy. Big hugs from me to you. Thank you for you always being you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. An interesting heartfelt post. Good work as usual Daisy💝

    Liked by 1 person

  12. good post tosh! i have had to slowly learn how to control my temper. the library says i lost their disc. i did not. but to whom do i rage.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. BIG HUGS! I loe your being ‘Human’…..Makes you more loveable….. 😉 Hugs! ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  14. thehumanhurricane

    All we can do is keep our side of the street tidy. When the blame brigade coming wading in trying to tell us we are accountable for their shit, just to pause, take a breath and remember we are responsible ONLY FOR OURSELVES. The delivery of this kind of bollocks is usually at the hand of people who want to control us so they use what they perceive are our frailties against us. But being ‘crazy’ is a good thing. Look at the creativity, empathy and understanding it affords us. Using what are also our qualities to try and win an argument or wash their hands of their true part in their very own story is shady beyond measure. But we were given feet and we have a right to turn and walk away. Good on ya xxx

    Liked by 2 people

Feel free to connect or add your words & thoughts.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: