Monthly Archives: Oct 2016

Flushed out



Are you in or are you out?

Flushed souls poke human, paper mache skin ,fanned  out.

An elegant pack of cards – Spades aimed at its target , packs a clout.

Doubt grim reaper,

he is great at connecting you with your inner weeper.

Toxic three hours – temperature – fever finally  breaks.

Her family can finally let out sighs numbed with dull aches.

Anger ,rage, death hopping two feet forward and shuffling back -creeping – hiding.

Taking it’s time to declare an order.

The heart is wrung out. Pruned -nothing left to saturate it.

Heaving up chunks of oxygen – empty –   salted   escargot ready to be served for an entre – the media will never admit, it is a mass homicide .

Senile ghosts mumble out hammered toasts.

Champagne flutes . Morphine patches – how much more hammering and wheezing  is left,  until the invitation arrives ,requesting her attendance  to relieve the pain and burden of being a believer in idol hosts?

I write to right this rite.

Prepare for an urn, a coffin or a heaped body tossed in a dumpster.

Respect the ones that loved you and who nurtured you. Those she loves she protects like a mafia gangster.

Not on here much,checked out more times than she cares for.

She’s always ready to come back in but, it does make it harder to live in her  skin -deep within.

Little girl ghost howling – cajoling – beseech the black Jesus – bypass Mount Olympia to get a message out to the true king.

Shaking and a moving, trembling, who are we fooling?  Head to Las Vegas –

check out the true king with a white cape flapping around him -winking at groupies – rents them out  like  he has a permanent   50% discount with  the  budget car rental company, Avis.

Take a trip to Barcelona. Live life on las Ramblas with cava and tapas and plenty of one euro shots at Espit Chupitos.

Never imagined that naive  senorita being whistled at would  fall so far from la Sagrada Familia’s homemade fajitas.

Waving goodbye to a ghost last seen roaming the hospital’s resuscitation ward , two years in  February.

Son kicked her out – took a flame to her hair and in a mad white blitz  hoovered her own cemetery.

Rest not – rest want.

Out  In.

In. out.

Pout, little coquette – this is her last chance to impress Henry  the eighth with a carefully measured out squeal – one last squeeze- ears reciprocate to an ecstatic shout.

Desolate, impure. Turn back the clocks but only – one hour.

Protest – demonstrate.

Who made these rules up ?

Time will rewind back to a time she desires. She will make the keeper of his hour- cower.

Murmurs, whispers, emotions. Mixed states.

Take her now and make love to her – make her moan  and forget about the woe that lives in her veins -gliding on ice skates.

She needs just him  inside her. Only he can take away the regret, the guilt that feeds on her black hole sun.

He knows how to distract her.  Make- believe that time can still be merry , doused in her own orgasmic fun.

In and out.

once you have found an in are you going to torment this Empath for eternity?

Narcissus, listen to the  nymph-like echo that pleads for you to look away from your mistaken idea of your  lover’s identity .

Hope’s unique gravity

I just wanna do my thing.

I don’t wanna hurt nobody or anybody with the way I decide to go.

I’m all heart – Sensitive a subject of the dark arts but in truth, I can’t really stop the blood flow;

coursing through my veins. I don’t need blood clots to interfere with my emotions.

I like to feel.

From time to time, circle crops set up home on my turf – I’d like to say it is an alien probing and feign ignorance, I  can’t deny  the familiar  weight of sentimentality  surgery.

Unforgettably  invasive- it is real.

Paranoid thoughts – tension is all I have set  on my watch dial. I know I have not been Santa’s best girl every time.

Honestly, I do enough good to save me from paying for another crime.

Honest intentions. Soul soft and pure. Warped sense of humor.

Bold, moody, loving ,trusting, overly sensitive cysts congregate into lumps, deciding on the logistics and geometrics, of developing a  cost effective  tumor.

Screams above – Take me – unleash me from the scourge of hell that I find my feet clad in cast  iron.

No one else can cut the chain. Raggle out that last breath.

Breathe life into a place  for the ones who seek redemption in their conceptualized   Zion.

Fighting spirit. Fighting a war. A battle within – Gore – more gore .

I deplore.

I abhor.

Is this really all she has to show for herself  and sell on the haggle market shop floor?

Brecht. Disconnect.

Fayre .Disrepair.

Coquette. Disinfect.

eclair. Declare.

Life takes us down alleys where the shit tide threatens to pass the neckline.

Think quick, Grasshopper – put that cap on backward and move into  a new gear. Time to engage and decline or re-define.

Shattered thoughts. Media social networks taunt.   Pull the plug. I’m  done with the fictitious lives.

Comparisons in a house of distorted mirrors. Insecurity breeds, incubate in these surroundings – glass shatters – contaminating other entities- is how it   thrives.



about not the friends who are not .

Worry about the ones who  are in ‘yours truly’ life and are what you would call ‘your lot’.

Happiness is not a concept. Dolce and Gabbana shoes heighten the germicidal  sensation of  Dopamine overload syndrome- early onset.

The human touch, the words we use. More lasting splendor than debiting additional  digits from your visa card, in an attempt, to feel less deprived. Wage a bet.

Birthdays are for celebrating –  don’t ignore the day you  not only gasped but grasped your first true breath.

It takes skill to meander through the valleys, hills, low-lying turnstiles, the rabbit holes of seemingly eternal strife.

You have passed by many  costly  troll bridges –  and managed to get away with what is most sacred – your life.

Another day  has passed – look at what you have done not what you have lost.

Focus on your strengths, not your adversaries – no need to subject yourself  to more savage beatings at an unnecessary cost.

No motivation – it’s okay,we all have these moments thinking we have forever lost our precious marbles

Get back on the wheel and break dance – do a wheely – show off that you have emerged from the eye of the storm – scarred but intact .

 Be pleasant,smile  it’s okay you’ve got this .Thank the alert, coast guard marshalls.

Live. Eat. Pray.


Give. Beat.Stray.

whatever you do,

always have your say.


Sunny disposition’s shadow.

Harried. Hurried. Life pulls me into its vortex.

 Tears drip,  sealing up  presents protected in pink wrapping paper. 

She is growing too old, too quickly . Nauseating -left sickly.

Guilt erodes my cavernous mind -echoes dart all  around.  

So triste. If only I could plug in a pair of earphones so you can hear my   heart’s melody- a  melancholic  cacophony of unequal distributed  sound.



A new day and it’s time to celebrate.

Cake and food and balloons to check off the list. 

Snacks, goats cheese quiche.   They don’t do a version called hashish.



Slide my cell phone out,  to check how many  miles I’ve clocked on my fitness app. Gravity does an honorable job of conforming to what I’ve been told it should do when my phone disconnects from  my hand.

Shattered glass. I scream:

No, not the screen! 

Smoke ablaze, allow me to atone for my karmic debt. Soul let me be clean.

God theory – Spiritual . Analytical – my faith is still reciprocal. 

Hope making up  punch in  the fruit aisle. Grapes ,peaches, grab a sack of bananas.

The  educated children won’t remember the birthday girl if we don’t get 22 packets of individually  wrapped Haribo sweets for them to take home. 

Sugar rush -sweeten the crush . No huge party –  with a whole class invited to practice nurse and doctors with up to date human body scanners.




Masters of writing .Deadlines.

Party time or Mommy will get stuck with the craziest  fine.



Rain – divine. Only when wrapped up  in a duvet in my precious bed – liken it to someone’s favorite merlot wine.

Bus. Wind. Howling and scowling. A face – a perfect reflection of the weather.

Dentistry. High priority. Teeth fixed.

Smile and show off your invisible vulnerability.

Pictures dating back to the 1920’s – Man with 1000’s of vintage cameras has a hobby, he can unfreeze time and develop older pictures into negatives. It’s all about integrity.

Pass them down to your future generations – remember those who came before us. The ones we inherited our addictions, maledictions. 

Nose catches a whiff- a sense of  a DNA code .


Frozen Snapshot! 

Talking to myself -creating characters in  a place of puffed up, cloudy mindfulness.  Not so sure that inherited  gene  falls under the category of serious afflictions.

Not crazy perhaps a mere case of  unharnessed creativity.  

What is so wrong with  riding  on an elated bull of mimicry?

Smokescreen – less hazy. £100 bill to fix my technological , grave -sadistic error in clumsiness.

PC world.

Would you rather pay £1000 for a new mac laptop or £49 ?

 Ex-navy man, stop skirting around the gravy line, drop it on me like an anchor. In my world money is your pay packet. All I have is a sense of running out of time.

Rabbits late. Missed the date , bounced cheque couldn’t secure my  delivery bundle, all inclusive with the hottest corporate communication and logistics  stork delivery enterprise.

Maybe next year I will miss the pill. 

Phones for you.

For me?

For you!

Warranty does not cover intoxicated phones. 

Why did you have to get  giddy and go bonkers at the mention of a few smartie infused cocktails,  for a party happening at 4pm ?

 This  is festive stuffing  prepped for nightmares. 1000’s of drones willing to commit mass suicide – I don’t think bee heaven has parties streamed with foam slides  and glow in the dark stick tones.

Deaf – no  jam. 

Talking in my ear. Three wise men chasing a star .

All I need is one competent man. 

Pass me a fan. English turns  into piggish. 

Yes, the laptop is exactly what I need. 

Writer? -one of the things I do.

Student debt.  This mute starts to laugh .

 Their bombastic moves to persuade me leaves me with the taste of  lead. I’m tempted to walk out of here as a woman converted to the  Amish

My specs are more concerned with software. 


Sound cloud. 


Don’t make me use my collateral. 

Figures ruminating around my mind – 400 – 500.


More fad songs. 

Inside, Hurricane Matthew remnants rattle Mount cranium.  Hurtling through the air – a   cow  passes by me in flight, with a courteous: moo. 

This  is my despair.

The carefree  and serene  look is the only bargain  I am  looking for.

 Time is  zig zagging up behind me  in crocodile form. He has that tick-tocking  swag -his tail -swish swashes-ear drums deafened.

Momentary  paralysis.

Mentally confused. 

Mindstate?  Ready to light the cannon ball.

Scream: terrorist.

I am that bemused.

I will give you £60 worth of Morrisons grocery shopping if you stop selling to a seller – trying to service  a servicer 

Yadda yadda yadda. Green is  grasser. 

Too much fodder . Where’s the  verbal shredder?  

Noise pollution.

Recycle your position.

You can choose to not tick: employment occupation – Ass wiper.

Sit down. Take it all in. Funds ready to transfer. Card amped to stick it in and spread that green cum from within.

No protection.

Dirty laundering.

Hand wash only.

I’m thinking my accepted friend V has an addiction .

 I satisfied him last night. Friends do that caring thing.


 All week I have had him in and out. He doesn’t even remember most  of his hits.

I spent most of Wednesday washing out bloody sheets, stained with a not so virginal hole.

Sinful statement – let’s sing a hymn for her cheery soul.

 Disease seems not far from our midst. 

 I need to contain it and stop passing it on and encouraging sharing.

Vee – I don’t want to lose you to a pair of sharp tools.

Poodle-haired lady bitch behind me – tit tittering.

Leave empty-handed. Priorities in order.

Not High street fashionable but then again I have always been drawn to disorder.

Time to leave consumer society hill. 

I’ve  already taken  a shot to the shoulder with over a hundred pound bill. 


Alcohol  arises from its slumber. Coughing,cunning and conniving.

Remember next Thursday.  All day Worskshops  on how to handle stress, delivered to four back to back classes of teens in year 10. 

Safety zone. A place I have to call my own.

Rant. communicate. 


Look at her face – full of delight. Illuminati – unbelievers. 

The power of love and humanity – cuts deep – penetrates  the  core of the bone.

Stress reliever.

Tearing open presents. Lighting candles. Rule of thumb. Forget the inside out rule. 

Hey, I’m a Mom – it’s cool. My  Family praise me -a  palm leaf sways-  cool wind.

Time to break away from the frenetically paced  fever. 

No grief.

Not a cracker dares to show its face after seeing what I have just pulled off. 

 Top draw. classy.

Good night. sleep tight.

No time to study or do any work.

Always have to tidy up. 

Wash my makeup off. Comfortable pajamas . 

I hit my bed  ready to recharge. Refill my cup.

Madness, the Cure, the Pixies, Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I made it through another day:  no breakdowns, hospitalizations,no  close encounters with mind-bending lepers.

 Don’t mind if I treat myself to what I fancy? 

No need to answer.

I don’t listen to pessimists swimming in a sea of ever mutating, nuclear Cancer.