A dying shame.

Yeah, I’m obviously not going ignore that it is WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION  DAY -especially considering the work and training I have been doing this week, around Mental Health Recovery embracing the 5 key concepts to   the



Action Plan


  1. HOPE-People who experience mental health difficulties get well, stay well and go on to meet their life dreams and goals.

  2. SELF-RESPONSIBILITY– It’s up to you, with the assistance of others, to take action and do what needs to be done to keep yourself well.

  3.  EDUCATION-Learning all you can about what you are experiencing so you can make good decisions about all aspects of you life.

  4. SELF-ADVOCACY-Effectively reaching out to others so that you can get what it is that you need, want and deserve to support your wellness and recovery.

  5. SUPPORT – While working toward your wellness is up to you, receiving support from others, and giving support to others will help you feel better and enhance the quality of your life.


I’ve been so inspired, comforted, shocked and angered by the stories I have heard this week. Every one of us has been through shit- the same  clinical diagnoses come up again and again, being drugged, feeling ashamed, stigmatized.


Being called crazy for acting in a way where obviously a person’s mental health is not good for whatever reasons .

Still, we live in this society. With this Victorian -lock them away, throw away the key mentality.


In my life, I have met people from all walks of life, ethnicities,religion, job roles/class .

I knew a physiatrist,  (I have known many)  who was not mine but a fellow inpatient,just like me.   No one will know who I am on about. It was many years ago and nobody who knows me  today and who I connect with today will know this person.

The thing with suicide – it can be intentional and unintentional – a quick act or an act that goes on for years  until eventually, Grim reaper does come to collect .

Usually, there are  years of pain and suffering and wearing  the ‘I am ‘normal’ mask,  not like – them – the “crazy” -unwell people, before someone does intentionally/unintentionally ends their life  .

“I only drink 1/2/3 glasses of alcohol, a spliff, a night/at weekends  to calm me down/get a buzz .”

I’ve  heard that a lot.

 Why does a person need this kind of outlet and coping mechanism to chill or escape from  reality?

I include myself in this.

Life is stressful.

We are not helping our mates, colleagues, family,friends and community by pretending  this is one of the  healthy ways to cope.

“I  only  inject heroin or smoke crack ,snort coke/Ket on weekends”  It’s recreational use.”

I hear that too . These  very words have come out my mouth over the years.

giphy (15).gif


“I  can’t cope with life at all and need to  take antidepressants/ mood stabilisers/ drink/smoke/inject/starve/comfort eat  to cope and deal with the stresses of life”

I can hear the crowd heckling and tsking already.

That person has gone too far.

“All in moderation.”  I hear  some people say.

Have you actually looked at what the ( ahem..) governments guidelines for how much alcohol you are actually “advised” ( doesn’t mean you should) to drink or the number of painkillers you should take and when you should take them ?

(if that is your “thing”)



Did you go out and buy a government ,custom made, wine, beer glass or whatever to make sure you  are getting the correct dose?

If you look at your drinking glasses compared to what the size of the glass that is advised (if you insist on drinking something that happens to be legal), I think you may have gone over the limit.


In this context, The moderation theory is a fucking myth, in my opinion.

Food is legal – people get addicted to it/not eating it.

So is Sex. So is stealing – that is illegal, of course.

Why are we self-medicating ourselves in this way?

Ask yourself. Don’t point a finger at Bob or Tina next door who are total mad heads, crazy,raging druggies or whatever,who are always having a bust up.

Look at your own life. The own things you use to keep you well, that  keep you able to make it to work the  next day or not.

Keep you ticking over just nicely enough to cope with Lifes/ people’s unrealistic  expectations of you.

Just a thought.

Do or don’t. I am not here to judge. I’m merely expressing my thoughts. I’m thinking/ musing– being human.

 I know I come acrosss as confrontational in this post and maybe I am.

Hell, yes I am.

I’m pissed off at how society decides who is fit and who is a misfit.

There are so many other ways to chill, be happy , live.

Why do we  (I  include myself in we)  choose  ways that are not actually healthy?

Why do we alter the wiring in our brain?  Numb our feelings?

What is wrong with feeling and expressing so-called “weak” ” negative” feelings?

Take a look at your friend, a stranger in the street/ family member/ the person who calls you crazy.

See this?


giphy (14).gif



It’s not hard to figure it out.

Did you know that a person with a label of schizophrenia is more likely to kill him/herself before harming another?

Yes, self-medicating – drinking ,taking drugs to cope increases the chances of a person with a diagnosed mental illness becoming violent.

Think of christmas, bank holidays, seasonal drinkers who congregate in civiliced places to drink or even the illegal druk takers who congregate wherever to imbibe whatever substance.

I’ve been to these pubs/clubs/houses/parks/festivals/doss houses sober and seen what “normal” looks like.

How many of those people do you know ?

Do you know their back ground , mind state?

Really, How well  do you  know them?

Have you seen what what alcohal and drugs can do to a person who is a “normal” member of society?

“It was the alcohol , the prick who looked at me differently, the fucking coach of whatever sports team, that German/English/ French prick.” 

What you put into your body will change how you act/perceive things and that is my point.

If I drink alcohal  – when I have and done so, I  tend to binge drink and I can “lose” it.

One last thing to think about, if you wish.

If I asked you to  visually describe and give traits of a   person who you think  is likely to think about or actually take their own life,what does that person look like?

Here is a  Fact:  or about as accurate as a statistic can tell you.

The person most likely to attempt/take their  own life,according to the statistic website I chose to use,

  • White

  • Male

  • age 30- 64

  • method: firearm, strangulation, suffocation and poisoning

  •  Previous Attempts to self-harm.

This is my husband.

I’m using him  as an example with his permission, of course. πŸ˜€

Five years ago, he did fit into most of the criteria for being the person who  is more likely attempt/commit suicide.

 He  thought about ending his life  when he was bullied, in his early teens, in the neighbourhood, he grew up in.

My husband has  ended up in A&E due to an injury he acquired intoxicated. In his  case,skateboarding accident.

Today,he is not suicidal nor does he own a firearm( it is illegal to in the U.K.) He has not drunk alcohol in 5 years, doesn’t smoke or use drugs – he has never even  smoked a cigarette.




About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on Sep 10, 2016, in MENTAL HEALTH and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.

  1. Shame sure is a crappy feeling. I totally understand why people (myself included) self medicate. It is also hard to let go of. Thanks for the post! Good read.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Daisy in the Willows and commented:

    WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY. -A Daisy in the willows perspective.


  3. Reblogged this on Art by Rob Goldstein and commented:
    Great post. Shame kills.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We need to keep talking about these things. Brilliant and thought provoking post, Daisy.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This is a brilliant and thought provoking post. Daisy at her best πŸ˜‹πŸ‘πŸ’ͺ✊ BOOM! Xxxx

    Liked by 2 people

  6. My dear, your honesty is piercing. Hope your words spread like the proverbial wildfire. Utube? TEd? Love to hear you speaking these lines, like the “shout” poets.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Ha ha Oh thank you. I have been mega busy lately so my shout out list is going to super looooooong. Blown away as always by the support on here. Waiting for things to quieten down. I don’t know if they are going to so just taking the time to recharge and shout outs you shall have. It is time-consuming and totally worth it. I just don’t want to feel I have to rush it. I love getting to know new bloggers and connecting. Having a well deserved date night with my other half and then back to the grind stone. Have a great weekend πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Wonderful post. Love the insight, and not being afraid to start a conversation!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This is lovely Daisy. It’s an insight into what truly persists in the society. Thanks for sharing. I’m not exempted. I battled with alcoholism for years but I’m free now.😘

    Liked by 2 people

  9. See, I told you, with your eyes closed ! a great post, and you have now managed to open everybody elses eyes ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  10. thehumanhurricane

    amen x

    Liked by 1 person

  11. good for him and you but if he were an american it would be different and not the better ta!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wonderful post. Excellent post!! Sharing!!

    Thank you for being YOU!!

    Kind Regards and working to help others – K

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Great read and great info. I’d like to look into this more. Thank you


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