I’ve been sitting on this bomb for a few days  now.

It’s my God daughter that got me thinking about doing this post. She thinks she looks fat in her bridesmaid dress.

She doesn’t!

She is 14 years old and in the throws of puberty.



Her Hormones are sizzling and she is going through a stage I tried to burn out of my vessel that is my body, when I was a couple of years younger than she is.

What can I say to her when I still struggle with my on Body self image?

Without become too preachers wife -style?

So I’m  gonna preach :

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Ladies and Men, Do you want to really waste most all  of your life chasing a idea of what you think  is the perfect weight and way  to look ?

Do you know that some dreams can turn into nightmares?

Some dreams are best left in the sub conscious- don’t fuck with your health.

Once your health is gone -it is a struggle to get it back.

This concept of ‘Beauty’  is something that not even the richest and most ‘beautiful’ people can attain.

If you don’t know and I know you do or have forgotten:

It is all a mirage.

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What The  Media proposes as an  ideal way to look, be and act is deeply ingrained in my own sub conscious.

I don’t want to go on and on.

These days, I genuinely find beauty in every person, I see on the streets, in my life and on social media.

Some people have got the stereotypical features of what is the “ideal ” look and are popular.

Others have it too and are not.

The thing that sets these two apart is their character.

If you are chasing for outer acceptance.  These things are likely to happen:

  • You will keep setting the bar higher for how you should look and act.

  • You may become adored for how you look. Usually these fans will be people that are so flawed and full of insecurities. 

  • You will have to constantly  wake up  in armour. It’s a bloody and vicious affair to try and live a life based solely on what you have to offer physically to your world.

  • One day you will lose it..

    Time goes by quickly -use it wisely

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Make everyday day count and make every day be your SHOW TIME- your time to shine. 

I wish I spent more time developing my character and personality when I was growing up.

Today, I have a sexy character and people love my aura.

My personality shines through.

I think any beauty a person  see’s in me  comes from that inner confidence in who I am.

I love to laugh and banter and I have so much to say  about everything and anything.

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The people who are hung up on my looks are usually the most insecure and un happy people – stay away from Toxic people. Let them work out their own shit.  They will be the first people to let you down in life.

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I want my god daughter and any person I stare at or is my friend  to know that when I see a picture of her/him or see her/him in the flesh. I think:

wow! you have got your shit together. You already have a strong character at such a young  and that is why you are beautiful. Not all the beautiful inside crap but you are indeed beautiful.

We should focus on showing ourselves to the world not trying to hide who and what we are.

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Worrying about what others thought of me cost  me:

  • friends

  • family

  • my career

  • life experiences.

  • My  looks

  • My Health

 If you have no spirit, you age quicker and you will struggle with each passing year to hold on to the light that makes you beautiful.

Don’t lose sight of what real beauty is.

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Most of my life,I didn’t get to enjoy a good laugh or be with people and have fun because I was too busy worrying about  what others thought.

These days, I work hard on not letting that be a main issue in my life but once that seed of thought  has taken hold – it needs more than some puny exorcism to drive it out.

I don’t know  if it will ever stop haunting me for  good.

I think it is inspirational to see people I knew /know come into themselves.

What sucks is I  mostly see  people only come to accept themselves with age.

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This is where change needs to happen.

Have your own style.

Be your own person.

Why the hell do we want to look like clones?

These crazy caterpillar eyebrows. pout trouts. We pay to  freeze emotion from our faces.

To feel and to be able to express it and show it is sexy and beautiful.

I could go on and on all day and preach.

I don’t want this girl or anyone: not my daughter- anybody  to waste their lives.

She is so popular, beautiful, good hearted .

Has a great style.

A head screwed on her shoulders.

She  wants to waste that because friend A or C seems to get more attention for looking like the rest of the world.

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We need more people like her, my niece and a couple of my younger  cousins.

Three I can think of are genuinely shit hot, beautiful and fit – they have interests and personality and drive and they are fucking hot because of it.

My fiance was drawn to me for my looks when I was confident in my skin. We argue when I am negative about myself because it is a turn off – it is the opposite reason he fell in love with me in the first place.

So much more can be said. We have read all this before.

Life goes by far too quickly .

One minute you are  raving it up and in your teens.

Then you are in your twenties and then like me you get to your thirties and if you haven’t got your shit together by then;

it is going to be harder to know yourself.

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Know yourself.

Take time to figure out what you find makes  you feel beautiful.

Make up and clothes are just one part of so much of what life is all about.

I love to look good  and dress up.

I do know that on the days I really look good are the days I accept myself and let my true self come out.

That is why people like me or are drawn to me.

Not because I am some negative body of self doubt.

On my self doubt days; I am lucky to get any heads turn my way -all genders included here.

On my ‘I am me and I know   what my worth is  ‘ days, I could be wearing a bin bag,I  still will  get the most attention.

It is all about perspective.



About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on Jun 14, 2016, in INSPIRATION and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 61 Comments.

  1. ‘The universe must bend to our wishes,’ love that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • goat2bdazee

      Haha​! I’m trying to do the opposite ( it goes in waves) I like how you worded it. Better than I could have.


  2. What an inspiring post and much needed one in today’s world! πŸ™‚ But its very difficult to get these ideas into teenagers right? I mean when I was a teenager I would not have been able to understand that inner beauty is what triumphs over the hoardes of makeup and dresses we see. But maybe your daughter will learn a thing or two from her amazing mom πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. zeeforpresident

    great post . i think a person shouldnt care what anyone else says , as long as they are comfy in their body and all its all good. no one should be taught to feel comfortable in a certain body type. if someone is happy the way she or he is people should let them be. if someone is not bothered by their weight then no one should force them to work out similarly if someone want a VS angel body then no one should criticise that either , the models got their body through hard work too and they shouldn’t be brought down either by calling them anorexic or unrealistic. i used to be like that when i was 14 too and it’s just a phase trust me she will be okay . have a great day πŸ˜€


  4. Great post. Damn the media.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Elizabeth Helmich

    Such a wonderful, heartfelt post, I feel this as I have 3 girls of my own. It’s really a shame how early they are bombarded with these wrong ideas about body image. Unfortunately, when they hit the teenage years, many stop listening to us, and listen to their friends instead. My hope is to get enough positive messages in there while I can! She is very luck to have you. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know Elizabeth. I worry so much for my own daughter. I have an eating disorder and I am in the best place I have ever been with it but I still have my moments and children pick up on things. The other day when I said I was hungry ,my daughter said I mustn’t eat because it will make me bloated. She is four years old! I have to be more self aware of the message I give my daughter. It’s hard but I can’t have my daughter go through even a quarter of what I went through. Unfortunately eating disorders seem to run in the family. I agree with your sentiment to get as many positive messages for a long as we can – and do it from a young age. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Elizabeth Helmich

        It is shocking what they pick up! Yes, absolutely, we need to keep ourselves in check, which is hard at times.
        I had my 3rd last year, and the other two saw the many changes in my body, before and after the pregnancy. I was just like ‘this is what happens to a woman!’, and didn’t try to shield it from them.
        My oldest (12) has started the ‘I’m fat’ thing. She’s the smallest girl in her grade! She’s not even 80 lbs. yet. I just told her it’s more important to eat well, and make those good choices.
        Sighs…yes, a daily struggle. Good for you with your own progress!!!! ❀ Xx


  6. Beautiful post Daisy !!! You truly are an inspiration.
    Shew, not long to go and you will be a ‘Mrs’ …. Hope everything is going great ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Excellent post, Daisy! Worth being bookmarked by ‘most everybody…..Yes!!!!
    ‘Ρὐδαιμονία’ – Superb Greek word to be embraced as an ideal by everybody. πŸ™‚ Hugs! ❀

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Fabulous! I am glad that I never bought into that nonsense of looking at the media to know what’s hot or not hot and their warped definition of beauty and I really wish most people can identify the beauty in who they are at a young age. The media has been at the back of making some humans miserable and doubtful of their own worth. Enough already. Well said Daisy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I don’t think you would be the strong, independent , inspirational , ambitious, successful and empowered woman you come across to me as if you had bought into the media. That is exactly what we need to push for. Healthy self esteem at a young age.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. best write up Daisy..you know, I always prefer to tell myself ‘ love your body and mind’….. shhhhh…
    I am happy to read this post..

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Great effort into a very meaningful post….so very nice.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I really love how honest and thoughtful your posts are, and how much they make me think about things.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. True, that. All of it.

    Liked by 3 people

      • I don’t think the expectations society puts on men’s appearances are the same, so maybe I’m not qualified to comment, but I raised a daughter (two, in fact but one is still too young to give a crap), so I have some idea of the issues. Hopefully you have some influence with your God-daughter and with any luck she’ll be more centered. Like you!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think fashion and the media are working their way into brain washing men just like they have with women in society. Women are now fighting back and demanding real bodies and real women as role models. When there is money to be made no one is sage from exploitation. I’ve been in a few eating disorder clinics in my life time and there are increasingly more men coming out with Eating disorders. It sucks.. I just want everyone at our wedding to feel their best x


  13. Beautiful Daisy! You are, I mean! πŸ˜ƒ What a fantastic post. Inner beauty wins every time. ❀️

    Liked by 4 people

  14. I’m glad you’re getting around your inner demons, were all beautiful – you too! We just need to realize it… as do I lol

    Liked by 2 people

  15. No one (especially Hollywood and the fashion industry) has the right to make anyone feel as if they are inadequate because of their weight. I myself prefer full figured women (more to love). It is a shame that people are still afraid or inhibited about their appearance. I bet your God daughter looks great in the dress.

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Advanced Research Technology

    Your best post ever. It is so true. We are a solid hologram covering a thinking soul. What is going on in that soul is what is appearing to the world. In a very real way, what others see is only a reflection of how we see ourselves Wanna look good? Accept your beautiful soul for what it is and let it shine. You said this so well Daisy. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 4 people

  17. Well said! Hope you were able to get thru to your God-daughter. At her age, peer pressure etc it may be a bumpy ride for her if she doesn’t accept she’s beautiful inside and out!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Cheers! I know if I start preaching she will hate me. I want her to believe and trust in others. I admire her so much and I only recently found out she has so many issues with her looks and body. I just want to scream and tear down every photo shopped image. My Dentists nurse Photoshops her Face book pictures! PHOTO SHOPS THEM! It is truly a mad world we live in but we can fix this for our children and other generations to come. I refuse to read magazines because I know I feel like shit when I have read them. xx

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I Sing the Body Electric

    Reblogged this on I Sing the Body Electric and commented:
    Inspiring body image post from an inspiring woman πŸ’–πŸ’œπŸ’– Never more sense spoken ever (except in my posts, obvs πŸ˜†)

    Liked by 3 people

  19. I Sing the Body Electric

    What a FAB post- you’re so right. Hi five and well done for doing a post like this when I know you have an eating disorder!!! I am learning not to give a shit about how I look, but it’s fucking hard to break out of all the destructive conditioning I’ve received. My looks attract such *positive* attention, always have done, yet I’ve always hated myself and itched to escape out of my own skin. I’ve self harmed in disgust at my disgusting body. With ARTs help I’ve had a spiritual awakening which I hope will mean an end to this preoccupation with my external “flaws.” (The ones that only I see.) I wish you nothing but the best with your recovery-I know you will do this, because you’ve got the character and spirit. Go girl! Lots of love Queen B.ee. πŸ’–πŸ’–

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you lovely. ART is a good person. Flawed is beautiful! I wish you all the success and support you 100 % all the way – on your good days and your bad days. My soul sister xxxxx HIGH FIVES! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Advanced Research Technology

        I’m so glad you two met. It just cheers my soul. πŸ˜€

        Liked by 3 people

      • Me too ART me too πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • I Sing the Body Electric

        I so appreciate that soul sister xxx I’m having a less good day today, will post about it. But your post really inspired me. All your writing gets to the root of my emotions and touches me deeply. High five for your AWESOMENESS! ha ha πŸ™‚ Xx

        Liked by 2 people

      • Queen Bee. Tomorrow is another day to shine. I know I haven’t had as much time to read everyone’s posts lately. With the wedding in 7 days time. I look forward to your post. I need to catch up with you and everyone I follow. I’m shattered so please don’t think I am ignoring you. I’m just in the wedding zone xx Tomorrow is a new day and you will never look as beautiful as you do today xxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

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