I’ve been sitting on this bomb for a few days  now.

It’s my God daughter that got me thinking about doing this post. She thinks she looks fat in her bridesmaid dress.

She doesn’t!

She is 14 years old and in the throws of puberty.

CHASING BEAUTY IS LIKE :

Her Hormones are sizzling and she is going through a stage I tried to burn out of my vessel that is my body, when I was a couple of years younger than she is.

What can I say to her when I still struggle with my on Body self image?

Without become too preachers wife -style?

So I’m  gonna preach :

Ladies and Men, Do you want to really waste most all  of your life chasing a idea of what you think  is the perfect weight and way  to look ?

Do you know that some dreams can turn into nightmares?

Some dreams are best left in the sub conscious- don’t fuck with your health.

Once your health is gone -it is a struggle to get it back.

This concept of ‘Beauty’  is something that not even the richest and most ‘beautiful’ people can attain.

If you don’t know and I know you do or have forgotten:

It is all a mirage.

What The  Media proposes as an  ideal way to look, be and act is deeply ingrained in my own sub conscious.

I don’t want to go on and on.

These days, I genuinely find beauty in every person, I see on the streets, in my life and on social media.

Some people have got the stereotypical features of what is the “ideal ” look and are popular.

Others have it too and are not.

The thing that sets these two apart is their character.

If you are chasing for outer acceptance.  These things are likely to happen:

• You will keep setting the bar higher for how you should look and act.

• You may become adored for how you look. Usually these fans will be people that are so flawed and full of insecurities. 

• You will have to constantly  wake up  in armour. It’s a bloody and vicious affair to try and live a life based solely on what you have to offer physically to your world.

• One day you will lose it..

  Time goes by quickly -use it wisely

Make everyday day count and make every day be your SHOW TIME- your time to shine. 

I wish I spent more time developing my character and personality when I was growing up.

Today, I have a sexy character and people love my aura.

My personality shines through.

I think any beauty a person  see’s in me  comes from that inner confidence in who I am.

I love to laugh and banter and I have so much to say  about everything and anything.

The people who are hung up on my looks are usually the most insecure and un happy people – stay away from Toxic people. Let them work out their own shit.  They will be the first people to let you down in life.

I want my god daughter and any person I stare at or is my friend  to know that when I see a picture of her/him or see her/him in the flesh. I think:

wow! you have got your shit together. You already have a strong character at such a young  and that is why you are beautiful. Not all the beautiful inside crap but you are indeed beautiful.

We should focus on showing ourselves to the world not trying to hide who and what we are.

Worrying about what others thought of me cost  me:

• friends

• family

• my career

• life experiences.

• My  looks

• My Health

 If you have no spirit, you age quicker and you will struggle with each passing year to hold on to the light that makes you beautiful.

Don’t lose sight of what real beauty is.

Most of my life,I didn’t get to enjoy a good laugh or be with people and have fun because I was too busy worrying about  what others thought.

These days, I work hard on not letting that be a main issue in my life but once that seed of thought  has taken hold – it needs more than some puny exorcism to drive it out.

I don’t know  if it will ever stop haunting me for  good.

I think it is inspirational to see people I knew /know come into themselves.

What sucks is I  mostly see  people only come to accept themselves with age.

This is where change needs to happen.

Have your own style.

Be your own person.

Why the hell do we want to look like clones?

These crazy caterpillar eyebrows. pout trouts. We pay to  freeze emotion from our faces.

To feel and to be able to express it and show it is sexy and beautiful.

I could go on and on all day and preach.

I don’t want this girl or anyone: not my daughter- anybody  to waste their lives.

She is so popular, beautiful, good hearted .

Has a great style.

A head screwed on her shoulders.

She  wants to waste that because friend A or C seems to get more attention for looking like the rest of the world.

 

THAT SHIT IS FUCKED UP!

 

We need more people like her, my niece and a couple of my younger  cousins.

Three I can think of are genuinely shit hot, beautiful and fit – they have interests and personality and drive and they are fucking hot because of it.

My fiance was drawn to me for my looks when I was confident in my skin. We argue when I am negative about myself because it is a turn off – it is the opposite reason he fell in love with me in the first place.

So much more can be said. We have read all this before.

Life goes by far too quickly .

One minute you are  raving it up and in your teens.

Then you are in your twenties and then like me you get to your thirties and if you haven’t got your shit together by then;

it is going to be harder to know yourself.

Know yourself.

Take time to figure out what you find makes  you feel beautiful.

Make up and clothes are just one part of so much of what life is all about.

I love to look good  and dress up.

I do know that on the days I really look good are the days I accept myself and let my true self come out.

That is why people like me or are drawn to me.

Not because I am some negative body of self doubt.

On my self doubt days; I am lucky to get any heads turn my way -all genders included here.

On my ‘I am me and I know   what my worth is  ‘ days, I could be wearing a bin bag,I  still will  get the most attention.

It is all about perspective.