wasted
I’ve been sitting on this bomb for a few days now.
It’s my God daughter that got me thinking about doing this post. She thinks she looks fat in her bridesmaid dress.
She doesn’t!
She is 14 years old and in the throws of puberty.
CHASING BEAUTY IS LIKE :
Her Hormones are sizzling and she is going through a stage I tried to burn out of my vessel that is my body, when I was a couple of years younger than she is.
What can I say to her when I still struggle with my on Body self image?
Without become too preachers wife -style?
So I’m gonna preach :
Ladies and Men, Do you want to really waste most all of your life chasing a idea of what you think is the perfect weight and way to look ?
Do you know that some dreams can turn into nightmares?
Some dreams are best left in the sub conscious- don’t fuck with your health.
Once your health is gone -it is a struggle to get it back.
This concept of ‘Beauty’ is something that not even the richest and most ‘beautiful’ people can attain.
If you don’t know and I know you do or have forgotten:
It is all a mirage.
What The Media proposes as an ideal way to look, be and act is deeply ingrained in my own sub conscious.
I don’t want to go on and on.
These days, I genuinely find beauty in every person, I see on the streets, in my life and on social media.
Some people have got the stereotypical features of what is the “ideal ” look and are popular.
Others have it too and are not.
The thing that sets these two apart is their character.
If you are chasing for outer acceptance. These things are likely to happen:
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You will keep setting the bar higher for how you should look and act.
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You may become adored for how you look. Usually these fans will be people that are so flawed and full of insecurities.
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You will have to constantly wake up in armour. It’s a bloody and vicious affair to try and live a life based solely on what you have to offer physically to your world.
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One day you will lose it..
Time goes by quickly -use it wisely
Make everyday day count and make every day be your SHOW TIME- your time to shine.
I wish I spent more time developing my character and personality when I was growing up.
Today, I have a sexy character and people love my aura.
My personality shines through.
I think any beauty a person see’s in me comes from that inner confidence in who I am.
I love to laugh and banter and I have so much to say about everything and anything.
The people who are hung up on my looks are usually the most insecure and un happy people – stay away from Toxic people. Let them work out their own shit. They will be the first people to let you down in life.
I want my god daughter and any person I stare at or is my friend to know that when I see a picture of her/him or see her/him in the flesh. I think:
wow! you have got your shit together. You already have a strong character at such a young and that is why you are beautiful. Not all the beautiful inside crap but you are indeed beautiful.
We should focus on showing ourselves to the world not trying to hide who and what we are.
Worrying about what others thought of me cost me:
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friends
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family
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my career
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life experiences.
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My looks
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My Health
If you have no spirit, you age quicker and you will struggle with each passing year to hold on to the light that makes you beautiful.
Don’t lose sight of what real beauty is.
Most of my life,I didn’t get to enjoy a good laugh or be with people and have fun because I was too busy worrying about what others thought.
These days, I work hard on not letting that be a main issue in my life but once that seed of thought has taken hold – it needs more than some puny exorcism to drive it out.
I don’t know if it will ever stop haunting me for good.
I think it is inspirational to see people I knew /know come into themselves.
What sucks is I mostly see people only come to accept themselves with age.
This is where change needs to happen.
Have your own style.
Be your own person.
Why the hell do we want to look like clones?
These crazy caterpillar eyebrows. pout trouts. We pay to freeze emotion from our faces.
To feel and to be able to express it and show it is sexy and beautiful.
I could go on and on all day and preach.
I don’t want this girl or anyone: not my daughter- anybody to waste their lives.
She is so popular, beautiful, good hearted .
Has a great style.
A head screwed on her shoulders.
She wants to waste that because friend A or C seems to get more attention for looking like the rest of the world.

THAT SHIT IS FUCKED UP!
We need more people like her, my niece and a couple of my younger cousins.
Three I can think of are genuinely shit hot, beautiful and fit – they have interests and personality and drive and they are fucking hot because of it.
My fiance was drawn to me for my looks when I was confident in my skin. We argue when I am negative about myself because it is a turn off – it is the opposite reason he fell in love with me in the first place.
So much more can be said. We have read all this before.
Life goes by far too quickly .
One minute you are raving it up and in your teens.
Then you are in your twenties and then like me you get to your thirties and if you haven’t got your shit together by then;
it is going to be harder to know yourself.
Know yourself.
Take time to figure out what you find makes you feel beautiful.
Make up and clothes are just one part of so much of what life is all about.
I love to look good and dress up.
I do know that on the days I really look good are the days I accept myself and let my true self come out.
That is why people like me or are drawn to me.
Not because I am some negative body of self doubt.
On my self doubt days; I am lucky to get any heads turn my way -all genders included here.
On my ‘I am me and I know what my worth is ‘ days, I could be wearing a bin bag,I still will get the most attention.
It is all about perspective.
Posted on 2016-06-14, in MY BRAIN -MY THOUGHTS and tagged Body image, Eating Disorders, Emotions, Here's what I think, life lessons, The art of Happiness, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. 61 Comments.
‘The universe must bend to our wishes,’ love that!
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Haha! I’m trying to do the opposite ( it goes in waves) I like how you worded it. Better than I could have.
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Nicely done
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What an inspiring post and much needed one in today’s world! 🙂 But its very difficult to get these ideas into teenagers right? I mean when I was a teenager I would not have been able to understand that inner beauty is what triumphs over the hoardes of makeup and dresses we see. But maybe your daughter will learn a thing or two from her amazing mom 🙂
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Thank you. Yes. It does seem like we have lost this war to be ourselves but I think there is a lot to be said for triumph in numbers as opposed to divide and conquer xx
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Thats true 🙂 And like they all say if everyone becomes the change they wants to see, then the universe will have to bend to our wishes 🙂
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Now I kind of love you just a bit more. Love your comment. I am so on your level 🙂
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great post . i think a person shouldnt care what anyone else says , as long as they are comfy in their body and all its all good. no one should be taught to feel comfortable in a certain body type. if someone is happy the way she or he is people should let them be. if someone is not bothered by their weight then no one should force them to work out similarly if someone want a VS angel body then no one should criticise that either , the models got their body through hard work too and they shouldn’t be brought down either by calling them anorexic or unrealistic. i used to be like that when i was 14 too and it’s just a phase trust me she will be okay . have a great day 😀
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I like your thinking. Some people especially when you are a teenager are a very young ,slim shape. We are all different. Thank you and you too, I am so looking forward to it x
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Great post. Damn the media.
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Thank you 🙂
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Such a wonderful, heartfelt post, I feel this as I have 3 girls of my own. It’s really a shame how early they are bombarded with these wrong ideas about body image. Unfortunately, when they hit the teenage years, many stop listening to us, and listen to their friends instead. My hope is to get enough positive messages in there while I can! She is very luck to have you. ❤
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I know Elizabeth. I worry so much for my own daughter. I have an eating disorder and I am in the best place I have ever been with it but I still have my moments and children pick up on things. The other day when I said I was hungry ,my daughter said I mustn’t eat because it will make me bloated. She is four years old! I have to be more self aware of the message I give my daughter. It’s hard but I can’t have my daughter go through even a quarter of what I went through. Unfortunately eating disorders seem to run in the family. I agree with your sentiment to get as many positive messages for a long as we can – and do it from a young age. xxx
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It is shocking what they pick up! Yes, absolutely, we need to keep ourselves in check, which is hard at times.
I had my 3rd last year, and the other two saw the many changes in my body, before and after the pregnancy. I was just like ‘this is what happens to a woman!’, and didn’t try to shield it from them.
My oldest (12) has started the ‘I’m fat’ thing. She’s the smallest girl in her grade! She’s not even 80 lbs. yet. I just told her it’s more important to eat well, and make those good choices.
Sighs…yes, a daily struggle. Good for you with your own progress!!!! ❤ Xx
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Beautiful post Daisy !!! You truly are an inspiration.
Shew, not long to go and you will be a ‘Mrs’ …. Hope everything is going great ❤
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Thanks Lynne. It is pretty hectic but I’m finally excited about it xxxx
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Excellent post, Daisy! Worth being bookmarked by ‘most everybody…..Yes!!!!
‘εὐδαιμονία’ – Superb Greek word to be embraced as an ideal by everybody. 🙂 Hugs! ❤
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😊😊😊😊😊thanks .mate
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Hugs! ❤
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Fabulous! I am glad that I never bought into that nonsense of looking at the media to know what’s hot or not hot and their warped definition of beauty and I really wish most people can identify the beauty in who they are at a young age. The media has been at the back of making some humans miserable and doubtful of their own worth. Enough already. Well said Daisy.
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I don’t think you would be the strong, independent , inspirational , ambitious, successful and empowered woman you come across to me as if you had bought into the media. That is exactly what we need to push for. Healthy self esteem at a young age.
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best write up Daisy..you know, I always prefer to tell myself ‘ love your body and mind’….. shhhhh…
I am happy to read this post..
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I think that is a great mantra . 🙂 thanks for reading 🙂
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cheers…
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🙂
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Great effort into a very meaningful post….so very nice.
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Thanks for the vote of confidence x
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I really love how honest and thoughtful your posts are, and how much they make me think about things.
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I’m so glad you enjoyed what I had to say xx
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True, that. All of it.
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🙂
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I don’t think the expectations society puts on men’s appearances are the same, so maybe I’m not qualified to comment, but I raised a daughter (two, in fact but one is still too young to give a crap), so I have some idea of the issues. Hopefully you have some influence with your God-daughter and with any luck she’ll be more centered. Like you!
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I think fashion and the media are working their way into brain washing men just like they have with women in society. Women are now fighting back and demanding real bodies and real women as role models. When there is money to be made no one is sage from exploitation. I’ve been in a few eating disorder clinics in my life time and there are increasingly more men coming out with Eating disorders. It sucks.. I just want everyone at our wedding to feel their best x
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Beautiful Daisy! You are, I mean! 😃 What a fantastic post. Inner beauty wins every time. ❤️
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Thanks Meg – inner beauty is outer beauty in my books x
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I’m glad you’re getting around your inner demons, were all beautiful – you too! We just need to realize it… as do I lol
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Yes we are -and you too Simon. 🙂
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Ill try not to forget that! 🙂
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You had better not! 😀
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I won’t then! Because I know I’ll be in trouble if I do! lol 😛
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Ha ha! I have a mate in my real world called Simon and he knows better too. 😉 🙂
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No one (especially Hollywood and the fashion industry) has the right to make anyone feel as if they are inadequate because of their weight. I myself prefer full figured women (more to love). It is a shame that people are still afraid or inhibited about their appearance. I bet your God daughter looks great in the dress.
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I agree 100% Hollywood and the fashion industry models and actors know that they do not even look like how they look in magazines and Movies. She does — She looks stunning 🙂
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Shame how some beautiful people don’t realize how amazing they are. I hope someday she can truly see herself in the mirror.
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Me too. You will see after the wedding what I mean. I will put pics up .
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Oh, I believe you. Great anxious to see them.
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Your best post ever. It is so true. We are a solid hologram covering a thinking soul. What is going on in that soul is what is appearing to the world. In a very real way, what others see is only a reflection of how we see ourselves Wanna look good? Accept your beautiful soul for what it is and let it shine. You said this so well Daisy. 😉
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Thanks ART but I think you just summarised everything I had to say perfectly and in only one sentence. 🙂
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Well, in a few anyway. It’s good to know I got the gist, huh? 😉
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ha ha Yes. 🙂
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Well said! Hope you were able to get thru to your God-daughter. At her age, peer pressure etc it may be a bumpy ride for her if she doesn’t accept she’s beautiful inside and out!
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Cheers! I know if I start preaching she will hate me. I want her to believe and trust in others. I admire her so much and I only recently found out she has so many issues with her looks and body. I just want to scream and tear down every photo shopped image. My Dentists nurse Photoshops her Face book pictures! PHOTO SHOPS THEM! It is truly a mad world we live in but we can fix this for our children and other generations to come. I refuse to read magazines because I know I feel like shit when I have read them. xx
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Reblogged this on I Sing the Body Electric and commented:
Inspiring body image post from an inspiring woman 💖💜💖 Never more sense spoken ever (except in my posts, obvs 😆)
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Ha ha! I love you to pieces. xxxxx
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Aww bless-the feeling is mutual 🙂 Lotsa love in the blogosphere goin’ round tonight 🙂 My email is bodyelectricweb@yahoo.com if you ever wanna catch up that way, true soul sisters should really swap addresses lol 😉 Big hugs from Queen B.ee to Daisee xx
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What a FAB post- you’re so right. Hi five and well done for doing a post like this when I know you have an eating disorder!!! I am learning not to give a shit about how I look, but it’s fucking hard to break out of all the destructive conditioning I’ve received. My looks attract such *positive* attention, always have done, yet I’ve always hated myself and itched to escape out of my own skin. I’ve self harmed in disgust at my disgusting body. With ARTs help I’ve had a spiritual awakening which I hope will mean an end to this preoccupation with my external “flaws.” (The ones that only I see.) I wish you nothing but the best with your recovery-I know you will do this, because you’ve got the character and spirit. Go girl! Lots of love Queen B.ee. 💖💖
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Thank you lovely. ART is a good person. Flawed is beautiful! I wish you all the success and support you 100 % all the way – on your good days and your bad days. My soul sister xxxxx HIGH FIVES! xxx
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I’m so glad you two met. It just cheers my soul. 😀
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Me too ART me too 🙂
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I so appreciate that soul sister xxx I’m having a less good day today, will post about it. But your post really inspired me. All your writing gets to the root of my emotions and touches me deeply. High five for your AWESOMENESS! ha ha 🙂 Xx
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Queen Bee. Tomorrow is another day to shine. I know I haven’t had as much time to read everyone’s posts lately. With the wedding in 7 days time. I look forward to your post. I need to catch up with you and everyone I follow. I’m shattered so please don’t think I am ignoring you. I’m just in the wedding zone xx Tomorrow is a new day and you will never look as beautiful as you do today xxxxxx
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