Transparent its apparent #Socs
Apparent-ly ,I was not as prepared for the whole love you in sickness in health bit of our binding vows when we get married in June.
Weeks away from the wedding and I find out a week ago that my husband to be has been going blind in his right eye.
He didn’t bother to casually mention it to me, in the the month that his detached retina ,has got further and further away from his eyeball to the point if he left it any longer; he may just need a cane. I’m not talking about this kind.
I was full of rage and disappointment. Sometimes I want to throw stones at the martyrs in my life.
I DO! (I only ever wanted to have to think that on my wedding day? 😀
We joked about the Stevie Wonder rumours yesterday and how epic it would be if he actually put a stop to all the rumours of him faking he is blind.
I’m lucky to have a partner that came from parents who use humour to get on with life’s shake ups. My family do the same.
It sure takes the edge off the reality of the situation.
I just want to put out on this post how much I rely on my G. He is a
diamond – a star. I know there are those gifts you can buy and name a star after someone you love. This to me screams ‘you being taken for a ride’.
HE IS A TRUE STAR.
No monetary value can have a hold on the one I love.
The full package. The rarest of them all. The beat to my heart.
I say this all the time about him and my Bella bee – they are what makes my heart go
kerr- dum ker- dum ker- dum… not so dirty dancing..
Speaking of dancing . We are not having a first dance.
I think it would be awesome to have one but G is not keen. I’m not expecting him to bust out some ‘put your back into it’ moves –
I’m not going all Missy Elliot on him.
He can if he wants too……
but in all truth – I would love to dance to this song with him..
Oh fuck! Shit… ‘THEM THERE EYES !
This is how my mind works?
I love my man’s eyes…. I’m not taking the piss here.
I am being 100% authentic and real.
I dedicated that song to G when I met him…
I’ve been on a high since the SS have exited our lives and I went a bit party hardy but I’ve calmed down since NYE.
Living the quiet life..
monastic excitement only.
I find out the news about this surgery he is going to have in two weeks time.
The surgery seems pretty straight forward. .
It is what he has to NOT do after the surgery which will predict success or epic failure.
I fucking loathe complaining.
I don’t know who else to talk to .
Everyone I know comes to talk to me and I can’t just stop some -one mid sob and go:
” Shut the fuck up . Back the fuck up . I need help .I feel like I am a shit wife to be. Can I hack this? Do my man proud.?Be a real woman and put on my big but sexy panties? “
I’m not going to go all renegade master on my G.
I’ll don my sexy ‘SUPER NURSE’ outfit on and I will get back into the groove of doing ALL the household chores again. We usually split the chores straight down the middle. No grey areas .
I jest.I jest..
We do work as a team though. It is what works for us.
I’m not used to some one- like the man I am going to marry- getting ill….
Sex is off limits. I am not lying. Well.. I am lying down but you have to believe me on this one.
I dunno google it.. Ha ha
I’ve got it good and this kind of shock experience makes me appreciate my G even more. He does so much for me, hides so much.
He protects me.
He can be a stubborn MOFO most of the time but hell, so can I eye .
Fucking terrible joke. #SOCS I blame thee
I KNOW !
So this is where we are at.
I have to thank my Ma and my Nan because they will be looking after Bella Bee so that makes life a lot easier for me.
I don’t fucking cook….
So, take out it is…..
Or maybe just maybe this experience will bring out the traditional wife who cooks, barefoot, wild flowing hair, all tits hanging loose.
Where has my courage gone?
Here is me Me worrying about stepping up and being counted.
Change is good .
I have to see this is only going to make me and us stronger.
So as apparent as my initial shock is that I am going to be gobbled up by the world that is my oyster. I may just shock myself and bust out all the moves and yell:
STOP! THIS IS DAISY’S TIME!
TIME TO WORK IT! BE BRAVE.
Whatever we decide to say in our vows on our wedding day. Anything about health and love and standing by my man will be a FACT and not some mere idea. I can say the same for my G.
He has stuck by me with all my toil boil and troubles.
No matter which!
I just have to trust the process of commitment.
This post wouldn’t be without :
I will be posting and reading blogs as much as I can after the 19th May – the day of G’s operation,
My Hen do is on the 21 st May-
and the stag do after that-
-and then our epic wedding on the 22nd June.
I wish I had six heads with 6 pairs of hands that I could conjure when I wanted .
So, I am going to leave you all and have a good old rummage in my mask trunk. I need to find the‘ right faking it till you making it’ mask to don in the next coming weeks.
The show must go on…
Last thing I want to share that always makes me laugh is this