Family is what you make it.

Not all of us have the privilege of having a dysfunctional family that make us want to pull our hair out or grow another tongue and voice box.

Oh there are more than just me then?

Of course, duh!  many of us grow up and still live in dysfunctional families.

We fight.

We  become a part of bad decisions and then start making bad decisions too.


What I have discovered on my Mom’s side of the family and I will extend this to my Nan on my Dad’s side. As the Cypress hill song ‘When the shit goes down’ says:

“When the shit goes down – you better be ready.. “

But what if we aren’t?

I was not ready for a mini  quest and challenge to test how truly committed and supportive I can be, 8 weeks away from my wedding day.

Life throws these C- balls.

Sometimes life feels compelled  to wake us up from our tailor made to fit for comfort  , just the right temperature coffin and shake us up and around and blow us side ways, until we are forced to roll out from it  and  un-stake our forsaken hearts.




A part of the  quest becomes to remember how to  feel. To step up to the mark and prove you are all that you say you are.

In my case

  • Devoted

  • Loyal

  • Creative

  • Honest

  • Committed

  • Hard working

  • Loving

  • Generous

  • Compassionate

  • Empathetic 

I shall stop there .

Just a week ago  my ma  and I were at logger heads. Two stubborn mules not making way for  either one to cross.

So, effectively not getting anywhere.

I think we are even a hybrid of some sort of other animal with horns.  The horns are used for the bidding of any “cheap shots” we wish to call.



A week later my little  life has been thrown off balance . I  suddenly  missed my routine ride to work  I felt myself skidding on ice. No tree, fence or any other prop to catch me from falling. I had Valium but I didn’t want to deal with this particular life issue solely under the help of “mothers little helpers.”

So I had to take get on all fours and start to crawl again.

It doesn’t matter that a bus load of people had gone by and seen me scramble.

I began to panic. How am I going to cope?

download (1)

It doesn’t matter that I could hear their collective voice of – if  she wasn’t wearing the wrong shoes then….

I rely a lot on those in my life to support me. They do make my life easier.

It didn’t stop me from getting  angry when I realised I had counted on some people so much I felt I had become lazy .

By allowing others to take the pressure off and do some of  things that I would usually do myself -I had rendered myself pathetic and I felt weak.

I didn’t know if I had the strength to take on EVERYTHING again plus the added  duty I have as a person  who loves another.

Step in :

Two knights in shining armour

My Mom and my Nan.

They had it all figured out. Bella bee is going to stay with them for a few days and I get to don my best nurse outfit and only keep up household duties for two and a cat child . We are going to get extra food supplies in so I don’t need to go out much. The bills will get paid. All I need to do is give them a list and the money.





Problem solved.

Once again, my family as dysfunctional as we are,  as many spats  and fall outs we have. There they are  ready to take a lot of weight off my shoulders so I can do what I need to do to the best of my ability.

It’s kind of terrifying when there is a role reversal I haven’t had time to prep for.


The cared wants to  and must become the carer.

Like my Mom and Nan said :

“We will get through this as a family”

I’m not alone.

Are we ever really as alone as we may feel at times?

If we voiced our fears would we find ready and able bodies of support to help?

I’ve never been good at saying

I need some help here.

I’ve been good at indicating I am in need of help.

My health symptoms flare up

  • over dosing

  • self medicating

  • impulsive /promiscuous behaviour  –  

    this has nothing to do with being “easy” so if your mind went straight TO:

    “Oh , don’ you mean you become a whore when you are unwell? ”  

Please  feel free to grab a piece of paper and paper cut your balls or your clit.


Not for the paper cut but yes,I am blunt by nature.


So I do recommend trying to actually communicate in a healthier way , if you need help.

You never know what may happen.

So, I’m feeling less stressed than yesterday.


Bridal march

WEDDING NEWS: Food tasting session today and wedding run through rehearsal. Does this extend to the drink tasting too, I wonder?

I do want my mohjito to be 100% made to my liking. So a taster session is a must.

The hen do is booked -still adding confirmed numbers.

I can’t wait to share my day with you all.

My Nan and Mom should become wedding planners – they would make shit loads of money.

They are that creative.

So going back to family. There is a lot to be said for my family.

I have to include my Bella Bee in this.

She too is so perceptive.

She says things like

“I love you with all my heart”

“Daddy you are so funny”

“Mommy I look just like you – you are beautiful”

” Mommy you must look after Daddy”

“Daddy stop bothering Mommy when she is working” 

” Daddy stop squashing (hugging)  mommy” 

I’m going to go  all hall mark, emboss, stamped approved  here



P.S. I’m aware I am behind on my Blogging a-z – got to do W and X at some point today or tonight or the latest tomorrow.

I do love a challenge but I have always put what is in my head and my heart down in words first before any other  challenge.

It is what works for me. 🙂  This to me is a far bigger challenge than the extra ones I set out to do.

Don’t worry I am no quitter.


Catch up with you all laterz 🙂


About Daisy Willows

'Words are my everything' - Jon Wayne . A writer of poetry, stories, stage scripts, fiction, border line poetry & freestyle works, Music reviews, Guest Features/interview & shout outs. She is also passionate about raising anti-stigma & awareness for Mental Health. A trained co-facilitator in Wellness Recovery Action plan by Mary Ellen Copeland Natasha goes by many moniker names-Daisy Willows, bahtuhkid, GOAT2Bdazee. She has had a colourful life. Travelled. Natasha co-owns a second-hand clothing & accessories business -La Bella Bijoux Ltd Natasha was born in South Africa & is a French national. She currently resides in the UK Natasha Bodley holds a postgraduate in the Humanities. A BA in Myth in the Greek and Roman worlds & Advanced creative writing. She also holds a Foundation degree in Acting performance. She is currently working on her first novel (semi-autobiographical creative non-fiction). She has published one short story on Amazon called 'Number one' Connect with Natasha Collaborate with Natasha & feel free to Communicate her too. Light, Peace & Love!

Posted on Apr 28, 2016, in INSPIRATION and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. My family was horribly dysfunctional and getting together was always a scary venture. It’s amazing how much that has changed as we’ve gotten older.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now this is an interesting comment, Bradley. We do grow up not just in years but life teaches us lessons too and we are usually not the same person we were xyz years ago . Well, I say most of the times this is true- some people are beyond saving ; I know I sound harsh but sometimes you can only try so many times and if you hit a brick wall-EVERY TIME. It’s your health or theirs. Life can be hard and we soemtimes have to make hard choices so it is lovely to read what you say about your family. I am kind of assuming you mean this in a good way 😉 ha ha


      • 🙂 Yes, I meant it in a good way. Not that we didn’t love our parents, but now that they both have died, my siblings and I can get together and be mostly functional. We don’t bring up those horrible moments, but we sit together aware that we all have the battle scars that will always be with us.


      • I see what you mean. It is a – wonderful thing that you and your siblings can support one another. It is a shame that it takes soemthing so final to get closer to your family but life is what it is, I guess. I’m lucky that I have put my past to rest and I have made my peace. It has been a long road with my Ma and me but we have fought a long fight and come out the other side – in a good place…


  2. Very good post, and the best wishes for your wedding and married life.
    Family is a tough beast but it always is there to hold you when you fall or lag behind. That’s why it’s support is so crucial. I loved the way you used memes to illustrate your point.
    Happy blogging. God bless. 🙂


  3. I’ve been blessed with a relatively stable and sane family. But even in the most dysfunctional families, the love and caring is usually there…a rock when you need it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. One can live with the dysfunction of a family if they really do care. Fortunately, this is generally the case. Also, and a bonus, we don’t have to bring the generational dysfunction of the greater family into our personal unit. Yes, we can work it out, and fam can be something like heaven on earth.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post ! That is what family is all about, sticking together through thick and thin. Hugs.x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Is there a non-dysfunctional family anywhere? I very much doubt it. We are family for a reason. So that we can share our madness , ha,ha

    Liked by 1 person

  7. All the ongoing of a dysfunctional family are what make them the best kind…when it all settles down, that is. I am keeping up with you as the countdown to your big day continues.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great post on family life…and so appropriate preceding update on pending wedding. Sounds like being a Super Do! Hugs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Love it, Daisy! Family can frustrate the hell out of you sometimes but usually, when the shit hits the fan, they’ll be there to help clean it up 😀
    In answer to whether you have drinks testing … Yes. Absolutely. That mojito must be perfect!! Looking forward to hearing all about the big day when it arrives. You getting any nerves yet? xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know tell me about it…. frustrating is an under statement. No drinks test wasn’t included. SHOCK! HORROR! I must say I feel so much more at ease now I know that everything is taken care of. EVERYTHING. I just have to show up ,smile ,cry and walk and be a bride. We had a run through .I am rather impressed with how on board the venue is. My family have been amazing. Now I just need to eat sensibly for another 8 weeks

      Liked by 1 person

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