I’ve been looking forward to this letter. T is awesome becasue I get to tell you all about my firstborn, Bengal- Tatiana .Or Miss Tatiana as she is known in the family.
I’ve always had cats as family when I was growing up. I moved into a new home in 2009, started uni, again, straight out of another Eating Disorder clinic. I couldn’t take my Mocha with me to my new home.
Mocha was a black oriental Siamese my Uncle bought me for my 15th birthday in South Africa. She grew up with my Mom’s lilac point Siamese ,Lilac ( lee-lah) .. They came everywhere with us -no matter where moved to -South Africa,France, Miami and the U.K.
It would have been cruel to separate the two mates so I spent a long time researching breeders because I had read up about Bengals and how affectionate and playful and smart they were .I was lonely and manic -not taking my medication.
I came across what I can now look back on as a not legitimate breeder that were selling kittens and adults at a price cheaper than other breeders. It took ‘ two taxis and two trains to get to this town.
I told my Ma I was setting off to get Miss Tatiana. It was would have been close to midnight by the time I met her. My Ma knew I was hyper and she ended up coming with me to make sure I didn’t do anything else crazy.
I got to the breeder and it was clean but for whatever reason they must of being doing something illegal as they were very quick to drop the argument we started having when she tried to sell me an adult cat. I demanded to see the kittens and I saw one kitten ,so tiny, only 7 weeks. I picked her up.
She jumped out of my arms and bumped her nose, she was bleeding. I was crying. My ma and the breeder tried to calm me down. I knew straight away that Miss Tatiana was coming back home with me.
She spent the first few years with all my attention on her. I would take her everywhere with me. Any place that someone said I could. I would. She didn’t like any men I brought home. She would wait until she saw a big toe sticking out the bedspread and she would attack my potential/short lived boyfriends.
I found it hysterical. I know. -a total crazy cat lady. Bengals play hard and they draw blood. She has massacred my arms over the years.
I feel so bad for what I put her through with my ex. She used to growl at him. She wouldn’t leave my side. One night he left her out ( he denies this), I tried to find her everywhere, I heard her mewing and found her on the other side of the wall,lost and full of blood, by a wild patch of trees and these scratchy plants and woody area. I don’t know what you call it but I was in such a state and so was she.
When I was addicted to laxatives she would keep me company in the bathroom while I purged myself – me almost always in agony. I was taking 100 laxatives a day up until 2009.
She loves to pretend my arm is a tree and she lazes on it like some jungle cat lazing on a branch and if I dare move -I get bit.
I have a high pain tolerance threshold so we must be a perfect match 😀
When my Bella Bee was born Tatiana didn’t know what to make of her. She became very jealous. Then with all the drama with my ex and my increasingly poor mental health –that night happened and the ex accused me of shaking my 12-week old daughter on the 13th December 2011. I didn’t for the record.
The 16-month battle to get my daughter back out of foster care meant Tatiana had me all to herself again.
When the ex finally walked away with his tail between his legs and social services could see I could look after my daughter on my own -full time. The care order was lifted- my 12-week old daughter who I was only allowed to visit for 10 hours a week was suddenly a 16-month-old toddler living back at home- full time. I had a lot of catching up to do and learn how to be a full-time Mom.I guess I neglected Tatiana for a bit. I emotionally neglected her. I had to,
For a full year and a half Tatiana started weeing near the sofa . It got so bad me and my hubby to be started arguing. It put a lot of strain on the relationship. We spent hundreds of pounds trying to solve the problem.
I started giving her more attention but it was hard to always want to be loving because she was peeing everywhere. She even pissed on the kitchen counter a few times. She went from sleeping with us and being best buds with my partner, to hating him and running away from him and even me.
I couldn’t give her up. I couldn’t bare to.
G knew I would never give her up so he stuck by me and we worked on trying to sort out Tat’s behaviour.
She was spending her evenings and times we went out in the kitchen or outside. It was not an ideal situation but what more could we do?
I finally had to seriously think about her happiness and I thought maybe she would be happier in another home. My G came up with an idea to close the living room door at night so she couldn’t go and wee there at night.
IT WORKED! She has never done her business upstairs and I think she liked this set up because she wasn’t harassed by me or usually my partner to wake her from her slumber in my daughters bed,and to be put in the special basket we had made for her in the kitchen.
Tatiana has finally forgiven me. We have a routine in the morning where I play with her while I make the bed and she spends more time with me.
Sometimes she even sleeps with me. She hates to be ignored so if we have been out or she has, she usually has lots to tell us and I stop what I am doing and give her my time.
I finally have both my babies back. She has a love -hate relationship with Bella Bee but I think she is coming round to the idea the even though she hates being read to by my Bella or be harassed for a RSVP to some tea party my Bella Bee has arranged ,she kind of likes the cuddles she gets from her.
She has once again become my friend in the bathroom – especially when I have a bath. She loves water. I’ve caught her wading in a pouring bath tub on many occasions.
I wish I had done more research on how to look after her kind before. I did what so many other people do. Fall in love with her beauty and I didn’t swot up on what her kind of breed needed to feel 100% loved and secured.
I’ve learnt my lesson. The main point is we are a family again and the story has a happy ending.
Posted on Apr 23, 2016, in THOUGHTS and tagged Eating Disorders, Emotions, Family matters, humanitarian issues, Humans, Love, Mental Wellbeing, MY WORLD, The art of Happiness, Write to create. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.